Watch and Learn - Jon on MAGA's Renee Good Hypocrisy & Klepper on Minnesotans' Response to ICE

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What the is happening? What

What the is happening What

the is happening in this country? From

the is happening in this country From

Minnesota to Venezuela to Iran to Greenland, Cuba, Mexico,

Minnesota to Venezuela to Iran to Greenland Cuba Mexico

Colombia to to Philadelphia.

Colombia to to Philadelphia

Well, well, oh, I'm sorry. Not all the news was bad.

Well well oh I'm sorry Not all the news was bad

Why is the president of the United States declaring on Wikipedia that he is now the president of

Venezuela? That's real. Why is our Fed chairman making what

Venezuela That's real Why is our Fed chairman making what

appears to be a hostage video? How the steak become the healthiest food

appears to be a hostage video How the steak become the healthiest food

in the country? What is happening? We are on the Donald

in the country What is happening We are on the Donald

Trump gravitron. We don't know what up or down is. We just know it feels like we're all going to vomit.

Trump gravitron We don't know what up or down is We just know it feels like we're all going to vomit

Each moment brings another event with cataclysmic implications and consequences. And the guy at the center of it, the instigator, the catalyst of

Each moment brings another event with cataclysmic implications and consequences And the guy at the center of it the instigator the catalyst of

all this chaos and confusion, he's just out there TGIFing it. Oh, hey, what's up everybody? Hey, see you soon. Not if I

all this chaos and confusion he's just out there TGIFing it Oh hey what's up everybody Hey see you soon Not if I

see you first. Boom, boom, boom. Just look at Venezuela. We took it over

see you first Boom boom boom Just look at Venezuela We took it over

what, 3 days ago, four days ago, 5 days ago, I don't remember. Meanwhile, our State Department says if

what 3 days ago four days ago 5 days ago I don't remember Meanwhile our State Department says if

you're an American, there are armed gangs in Venezuela trying to kill you. So, you would think that maybe this

you're an American there are armed gangs in Venezuela trying to kill you So you would think that maybe this

calls for a little gathering in the situation tent or wherever is operationally uh uh right uh for talking

about Venezuela right now. But the president had a different idea. President Trump convening top oil

about Venezuela right now But the president had a different idea President Trump convening top oil

executives at the White House to talk about diving up Venezuela's oil.

executives at the White House to talk about diving up Venezuela's oil

What the's happening? He has a meeting of all of the most important stakeholders. Exxon, Chevron,

What the's happening He has a meeting of all of the most important stakeholders Exxon Chevron

Hallebertton, and of course the guy from Dune who lives in the oil bar.

Hallebertton and of course the guy from Dune who lives in the oil bar

By the way, I I think you can tell I I don't use that treatment.

By the way I I think you can tell I I don't use that treatment

And by the way, lest you worry that Donald Trump is in any way feeling the

And by the way lest you worry that Donald Trump is in any way feeling the

burden of this moment, the terrifying responsibility of so many lives held in his hands, let me reassure you, he's

burden of this moment the terrifying responsibility of so many lives held in his hands let me reassure you he's

fine. Here we are. And if you, in fact, if you look, come to think of it, well,

fine Here we are And if you in fact if you look come to think of it well

I got to look at this myself.

I got to look at this myself

sir and we're trying to have an urgent meeting on possibly the collapse of a pro state.

sir and we're trying to have an urgent meeting on possibly the collapse of a pro state

You just got to walk over to the window and look at look at Rubio and Vance. Look at look at the faces on Heckle and

You just got to walk over to the window and look at look at Rubio and Vance Look at look at the faces on Heckle and

Jackekal over there. M just look at him smiling like oh pawpaw

Jackekal over there M just look at him smiling like oh pawpaw

he's so cute you should see him when the ice cream truck goes by

what a what a view this is the door to the ballroom

well what a job really this this meeting is the moment

for your funny ballroom act them out armed gangs are roaming freely through both of the countries you say you run

right now. But go ahead, take a moment to look at what might be through the

right now But go ahead take a moment to look at what might be through the

window. You're like the Walt Disney of chaos. All it takes is imagination.

window You're like the Walt Disney of chaos All it takes is imagination

And by the way, if you're getting up and walking through the window and you don't think that's enough of a daughtering old

And by the way if you're getting up and walking through the window and you don't think that's enough of a daughtering old

man move, old can old cankles McGee had one more chewable Tums up his sleeve.

man move old can old cankles McGee had one more chewable Tums up his sleeve

You're all going to do very well. I think really very well. Marco just gave me a note. Go back to Chevron.

You're all going to do very well I think really very well Marco just gave me a note Go back to Chevron

They want to discuss something. Go ahead. I'm going back to Chevron Mark. Thank you, Marco.

They want to discuss something Go ahead I'm going back to Chevron Mark Thank you Marco

Does anyone else have a private note they'd like me to read aloud?

Does anyone else have a private note they'd like me to read aloud

Anybody? Now, by the way, there was an oil company, Exxon, that expressed some

Anybody Now by the way there was an oil company Exxon that expressed some

reservations about investing money in rebuilding the infrastructure of a country that is uh, and I quote, not

reservations about investing money in rebuilding the infrastructure of a country that is uh and I quote not

ours and is somewhat volatile at the moment. How did the president handle this

ours and is somewhat volatile at the moment How did the president handle this

somewhat rational costbenefit analysis? I'd probably be inclined to keep Exxon

somewhat rational costbenefit analysis I'd probably be inclined to keep Exxon

out. I didn't like their response. They're they're playing too cute. They're playing too cute. You just made

out I didn't like their response They're they're playing too cute They're playing too cute You just made

yourself the president of Venezuela on Wikipedia, but they're the ones that are being glib. Do you see how up

yourself the president of Venezuela on Wikipedia but they're the ones that are being glib Do you see how up

everything is right now? First of all, I have to offend the good faith of an oil company because they don't think they

everything is right now First of all I have to offend the good faith of an oil company because they don't think they

can safely extract another country's resources in as costeffective a manner as might benefit their shareholders. Who

can safely extract another country's resources in as costeffective a manner as might benefit their shareholders Who

am I anymore? And by the way, Donald, why are you the

am I anymore And by the way Donald why are you the

president of Venezuela? Doesn't your oath of office to America have a non-compete? What are we doing?

president of Venezuela Doesn't your oath of office to America have a non-compete What are we doing

What are you just trying to pick up a few extra hours? What? The holidays hit you hard.

What are you just trying to pick up a few extra hours What The holidays hit you hard

I just need a little couple extra bucks until like February, March. That ballroom's not going to pay for itself.

I just need a little couple extra bucks until like February March That ballroom's not going to pay for itself

Meanwhile, in Iran, protesters have taken to the streets tired of the totalitarian rule of the Mullers and

Meanwhile in Iran protesters have taken to the streets tired of the totalitarian rule of the Mullers and

have been gunned down in the streets. Protests and violence have broken out throughout that country. It is chaotic

have been gunned down in the streets Protests and violence have broken out throughout that country It is chaotic

and fragile. So, guess who's thinking about stepping right in? That's right,

and fragile So guess who's thinking about stepping right in That's right

the president of Venezuela. I have options that are so strong. So, I

the president of Venezuela I have options that are so strong So I

mean, if they did that, it'll be met with a very, very powerful force. I have

mean if they did that it'll be met with a very very powerful force I have

options. Did you hear what he I have options? Not Congress, not the American people. I

options Did you hear what he I have options Not Congress not the American people I

apparently Trump is the sole factor in all decisions everywhere throughout the world. Now he just wants to take a

apparently Trump is the sole factor in all decisions everywhere throughout the world Now he just wants to take a

little more time staring out the window before he lets us know what fresh hell he will unleash next. And the most

little more time staring out the window before he lets us know what fresh hell he will unleash next And the most

confusing thing about his reason for intervening in Iran is his reason.

confusing thing about his reason for intervening in Iran is his reason

President Trump has warned of striking Iran if the regime kills protesters. There seem to be some people killed that

President Trump has warned of striking Iran if the regime kills protesters There seem to be some people killed that

aren't supposed to be killed.

aren't supposed to be killed

We may have to bomb Iran to prevent Iran's government from shooting

protesters. Look directly into camera with an expression of half bewilderment and

protesters Look directly into camera with an expression of half bewilderment and

despair. P.S. John. Don't read this part.

despair PS John Don't read this part

And if that's not enough, in the middle of all this, we are going to do something on Greenland, whether they

And if that's not enough in the middle of all this we are going to do something on Greenland whether they

like it or not. I would like to make a deal, you know, the easy way. But if we don't do it the easy way, we're going to do it the hard way.

like it or not I would like to make a deal you know the easy way But if we don't do it the easy way we're going to do it the hard way

It's Greenland. Based on my knowledge, everything there is done the hard way.

It's Greenland Based on my knowledge everything there is done the hard way

You know, when you order food in Greenland, Uber Eatats takes eight days and they don't deliver over fjords.

You know when you order food in Greenland Uber Eatats takes eight days and they don't deliver over fjords

So, the point is, people, don't fill up on Iran and Venezuela and Minneapolis. You got to save room for this other

So the point is people don't fill up on Iran and Venezuela and Minneapolis You got to save room for this other

invasion. It's like a whole mukbang of catastrophic possibilities. It's exhausting. This is all just one

invasion It's like a whole mukbang of catastrophic possibilities It's exhausting This is all just one

weekend. And why do we even need Greenland? We need Greenland very badly. Why?

weekend And why do we even need Greenland We need Greenland very badly Why

And why do we suddenly need all of Venezuela's oil and whatever is buried under Greenland? What is Can I ask a

And why do we suddenly need all of Venezuela's oil and whatever is buried under Greenland What is Can I ask a

question?

question

Are we broke?

Are we broke

Is that why we have to do all this? Did you lose your job?

Is that why we have to do all this Did you lose your job

Did you somehow Trump casino the United States? Cuz if the country needs money, we can all

Did you somehow Trump casino the United States Cuz if the country needs money we can all

get second jobs. We'll all be presidents somewhere. If Wikipedia will have us.

get second jobs We'll all be presidents somewhere If Wikipedia will have us

I don't Why do we have to take over Greenland? If we don't do it, Russia or

I don't Why do we have to take over Greenland If we don't do it Russia or

China will take over Greenland and we're not going to have Russia or China as a neighbor.

China will take over Greenland and we're not going to have Russia or China as a neighbor

We're already Russia's already our ne This is where

Greenland is. Russia's closer. Unless in your mind you think Alaska

Greenland is Russia's closer Unless in your mind you think Alaska

lives in a box next to Hawaii.

lives in a box next to Hawaii

No, no, no. I get it. I get it. I get it. We We don't want Russia or China to take over Greenland. Oh, you know what

No no no I get it I get it I get it We We don't want Russia or China to take over Greenland Oh you know what

we could do to deter it? Not through arrogance or conquest, but what if we

we could do to deter it Not through arrogance or conquest but what if we

formed like kind of an alliance with Denmark and Greenland? We could include all the North Atlantic

formed like kind of an alliance with Denmark and Greenland We could include all the North Atlantic

nations. What What would we call this?

nations What What would we call this

like like almost like a North Atlantic treaty organization

that we I don't know what we could I guess we'll never know.

that we I don't know what we could I guess we'll never know

But again, since we all now dance to the tune of one piper, what possible

But again since we all now dance to the tune of one piper what possible

justifications could you have for just taking someone else's land? And please,

justifications could you have for just taking someone else's land And please

if you would irony proof your answer. I'm a fan of Denmark, but you know, the fact that they had a boat land there 500

if you would irony proof your answer I'm a fan of Denmark but you know the fact that they had a boat land there 500

years ago doesn't mean that they own the land.

years ago doesn't mean that they own the land

Can someone pass him a note?

Can someone pass him a note

How do you think we got our land? We landed here on a boat 500 years ago

How do you think we got our land We landed here on a boat 500 years ago

and it was ours. And you're out there. Hey, Denmark doesn't own it because they landed on it 500 years ago. That's like

and it was ours And you're out there Hey Denmark doesn't own it because they landed on it 500 years ago That's like

the argument you make when you want to give land back to the people who were already there, not for you to then take

the argument you make when you want to give land back to the people who were already there not for you to then take

it because you've got a bigger boat. You're doing some weird reverse woke

it because you've got a bigger boat You're doing some weird reverse woke

land acknowledgement. I would like to acknowledge that Greenland sits on colonized and

land acknowledgement I would like to acknowledge that Greenland sits on colonized and

conquered indigenous people's land. And I would also like to say dibs.

conquered indigenous people's land And I would also like to say dibs

Why am I even trying, by the way? Why do I even care to figure this out? It's not like anyone on your side ever takes the

Why am I even trying by the way Why do I even care to figure this out It's not like anyone on your side ever takes the

effort to convince all of us on uh the United States long-term policy goals. It

effort to convince all of us on uh the United States long-term policy goals It

all just appears to be like a lazy Susan of vengeful whims from our all powerful

mad king. Did you know Trump doesn't like Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell? Because

mad king Did you know Trump doesn't like Federal Reserve Chairman Jerome Powell Because

Trump wants to be able to dictate our country's interest rates himself. Now this poor Jerome Powell.

Trump wants to be able to dictate our country's interest rates himself Now this poor Jerome Powell

Now you got him looking like he's broadcasting from Taliban territory. The Department of Justice served the Federal

Now you got him looking like he's broadcasting from Taliban territory The Department of Justice served the Federal

Reserve with grand jury subpoenas, threatening a criminal indictment related to my testimony before the

Reserve with grand jury subpoenas threatening a criminal indictment related to my testimony before the

Senate Banking Committee last June. That testimony concerned in part a

Senate Banking Committee last June That testimony concerned in part a

multi-year project to renovate historic Federal Reserve office buildings.

multi-year project to renovate historic Federal Reserve office buildings

Can someone get this mother a glass of water?

Can someone get this mother a glass of water

And by the way, I don't feel good about this next joke, but I'm about to do it.

And by the way I don't feel good about this next joke but I'm about to do it

It's It's not It's not politically incorrect. It's just inside finance. So, anyone who doesn't listen to Bloomberg

It's It's not It's not politically incorrect It's just inside finance So anyone who doesn't listen to Bloomberg

surveillance in the morning, you can just leave the room. I'll wait. Okay.

surveillance in the morning you can just leave the room I'll wait Okay

Wow, that dude, he's struggling. It appears the chairman of the Federal Reserve is

Wow that dude he's struggling It appears the chairman of the Federal Reserve is

having a liquidity crisis.

having a liquidity crisis

That's going to kill at the terminals.

That's going to kill at the terminals

I'm going to remind you all of this is happening in one weekend. All of it. One

I'm going to remind you all of this is happening in one weekend All of it One

weekend. This president has made monumental changes to the manner in which this country operates. And the

weekend This president has made monumental changes to the manner in which this country operates And the

American people are rightfully feeling a vertigo about how a country born on self-determination and constitutional

republic principles can turn into whatever you say boss sounds like a good idea boss. So I think the American

republic principles can turn into whatever you say boss sounds like a good idea boss So I think the American

people reasonably have questions. But when the American people raise those questions

people reasonably have questions But when the American people raise those questions

takes your friends seriously. What a stupid question. Are you stupid? Are you a stupid person? It's a stupid

takes your friends seriously What a stupid question Are you stupid Are you a stupid person It's a stupid

question. Just a terrible question. You are a terrible reporter. You're a terrible person and a terrible reporter.

question Just a terrible question You are a terrible reporter You're a terrible person and a terrible reporter

You know nothing about love. You fake news.

You know nothing about love You fake news

How dare we? How dare we? How dare we question his excellency?

How dare we How dare we How dare we question his excellency

I don't know what we were thinking. You know what? I'm so We owe you an apology, sir.

I don't know what we were thinking You know what I'm so We owe you an apology sir

Mr. President, sir, we are so deeply sorry to have

Mr President sir we are so deeply sorry to have

questioned your singular and delicate genius. It's just that this is a kind of an

questioned your singular and delicate genius It's just that this is a kind of an

adjustment for us because we've all been raised in the American system of

government. I'm not going to get into the weeds with it. three co-equal branches of government checks and balances something

government I'm not going to get into the weeds with it three co-equal branches of government checks and balances something

about quartering soldiers. I think it's quartering. It's in cursive. The Q could be a P or an S. The point is this.

about quartering soldiers I think it's quartering It's in cursive The Q could be a P or an S The point is this

That's what we've been operating under for the last 250 years. If you want to

That's what we've been operating under for the last 250 years If you want to

learn about it, President Trump, you can ask all your acolytes. They say they keep it in their pockets. I guess it's kind of a relic. So just have to give us

learn about it President Trump you can ask all your acolytes They say they keep it in their pockets I guess it's kind of a relic So just have to give us

some time to adjust to this new world of total compliance so we can understand

the rules because you know it's confusing. Like for instance, we all watched the footage of January 6th. But

the rules because you know it's confusing Like for instance we all watched the footage of January 6th But

I think we may have gotten a very different interpretation of it rather than the correct interpretation of it, which of course is yours. So help me out

I think we may have gotten a very different interpretation of it rather than the correct interpretation of it which of course is yours So help me out

here. We'll play a game. On January 6th, a bunch of

here We'll play a game On January 6th a bunch of

they were peaceful people. These were great people went to the capital peacefully

they were peaceful people These were great people went to the capital peacefully

protesting a stolen election. I have never seen such spirit and such passion and such

protesting a stolen election I have never seen such spirit and such passion and such

love. But while they were there,

love But while they were there

Capitol Hill police officers instigated the violence that day. So the people we saw earlier beating the

Capitol Hill police officers instigated the violence that day So the people we saw earlier beating the

out of police officers were hardworking, loving people provoked by law enforcement and ultimately they

out of police officers were hardworking loving people provoked by law enforcement and ultimately they

deserve a full pardon. Got it. Don't agree that's what actually

deserve a full pardon Got it Don't agree that's what actually

happened or what should have happened afterwards, but at least it sets a precedent. But now let's jump ahead. I

happened or what should have happened afterwards but at least it sets a precedent But now let's jump ahead I

don't know a day to January 7th. We've all seen that footage. I think I know

don't know a day to January 7th We've all seen that footage I think I know

what I saw that day, too. But let's go through it again with the correct interpretation.

what I saw that day too But let's go through it again with the correct interpretation

On January 7th, a highly disrespectful, deranged lunatic woman,

On January 7th a highly disrespectful deranged lunatic woman

professional ICE agitator, domestic terrorist, did what? This woman used her car as a

professional ICE agitator domestic terrorist did what This woman used her car as a

weapon and tried to run over an ICE agent, an attempted murder, and so she was

weapon and tried to run over an ICE agent an attempted murder and so she was

shot and killed. So while very little of the descriptions that you were saying matched what we all

shot and killed So while very little of the descriptions that you were saying matched what we all

saw on the tape, the important lesson here is what she brought it upon herself.

saw on the tape the important lesson here is what she brought it upon herself

Mother, we are in a confusing dark place and

Mother we are in a confusing dark place and

this is where quite frankly rule of law and institutions are kind of an important framework. But now that those are gone,

this is where quite frankly rule of law and institutions are kind of an important framework But now that those are gone

what's our north star? Do you see any checks on your power on the world stage?

what's our north star Do you see any checks on your power on the world stage

Is there anything that could stop you if you wanted to? Yeah, there's one thing. My own morality,

Is there anything that could stop you if you wanted to Yeah there's one thing My own morality

my own mind. So, nothing.

my own mind So nothing

But thank you. I'm no longer confused. Couldn't be more clear. In America today, Donald Trump is the son. And if

But thank you I'm no longer confused Couldn't be more clear In America today Donald Trump is the son And if

you revolve around him and worship him, his warmth shines upon you. You could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue and not

you revolve around him and worship him his warmth shines upon you You could shoot someone on Fifth Avenue and not

lose his support as long as it's done on his behalf. But if you do not support him, if you live in the darkness of what

lose his support as long as it's done on his behalf But if you do not support him if you live in the darkness of what

I guess we will refer to from now on as blue states, fearing the day he turns his terrible

I guess we will refer to from now on as blue states fearing the day he turns his terrible

wrath towards you, whether you're a single human woman on a side street somewhere in Minneapolis or a sovereign

wrath towards you whether you're a single human woman on a side street somewhere in Minneapolis or a sovereign

nation that happens to have land and resources that we, a larger sovereign nation, think we also might want.

nation that happens to have land and resources that we a larger sovereign nation think we also might want

And so his people are making a bet that adhering to a principle of forced

compliance and coercion will give us a more stable and prosperous America than

a principle of shared alliance and common interest. It's kind of a tough bet because uh I read somewhere I don't

a principle of shared alliance and common interest It's kind of a tough bet because uh I read somewhere I don't

know where that people have inalienable rights granted by a creator not a king.

know where that people have inalienable rights granted by a creator not a king

So holding that coerced world together it's going to be kind of a tall task.

So holding that coerced world together it's going to be kind of a tall task

But if anybody's up for it, it's Donald Trump. A man with unrivaled focus and

But if anybody's up for it it's Donald Trump A man with unrivaled focus and

discipline. Actually, you know what? Could you give me a second? I'm just,

discipline Actually you know what Could you give me a second I'm just

you know, I'm so curious. I just want to just go and see.

you know I'm so curious I just want to just go and see

Let's begin with Pete Hegath, the Secretary of Defense/war/creatine.

Let's begin with Pete Hegath the Secretary of Defense/war/creatine

Now, he's been accused of committing war crimes by droning boats up and down the Venezuelan coast. And yesterday, he was

Now he's been accused of committing war crimes by droning boats up and down the Venezuelan coast And yesterday he was

accused of an entirely new war crime. So, I hate to ask, what is it?

accused of an entirely new war crime So I hate to ask what is it

A war crime called perity? Perity?

A war crime called perity Perity

Is that where we're at with this administration? That we're studying up on the B-side war crimes?

Is that where we're at with this administration That we're studying up on the B-side war crimes

I mean, why do I feel like the Trump people got a crime of the day calendar and they're just trying to do them all?

I mean why do I feel like the Trump people got a crime of the day calendar and they're just trying to do them all

All right. All right. Okay. So, so what is this this terrible thing that we are apparently engaged in?

All right All right Okay So so what is this this terrible thing that we are apparently engaged in

Perity, which prevents combatants from intentionally fooling adversaries into

Perity which prevents combatants from intentionally fooling adversaries into

believing they are civilians. The aircraft used in the attack on September 2nd was painted to look like a

believing they are civilians The aircraft used in the attack on September 2nd was painted to look like a

civilian plane. Okay. All right. So, if you're keeping track, not only did Pete Hexath bomb

civilian plane Okay All right So if you're keeping track not only did Pete Hexath bomb

people he was supposed to arrest, he then bombed their wreckage again, and he

people he was supposed to arrest he then bombed their wreckage again and he

did it with a disguised military plane. My man did a war crime triple double.

did it with a disguised military plane My man did a war crime triple double

They are going to hang his jersey up in the Raptors next to Henry Kissinger's glasses.

They are going to hang his jersey up in the Raptors next to Henry Kissinger's glasses

Moving on to another person that's been dipping his toe back into the worst wing, Elon Musk. Now, he's back in the

Moving on to another person that's been dipping his toe back into the worst wing Elon Musk Now he's back in the

news right now because his AI Grock is in a bit of a controversy. The good news, it's not Hitler stuff this time.

news right now because his AI Grock is in a bit of a controversy The good news it's not Hitler stuff this time

The bad news is what's replaced it. Tonight, Grock, the AI tool from Elon Musk's company X, is under fire. The

The bad news is what's replaced it Tonight Grock the AI tool from Elon Musk's company X is under fire The

app, which has an image editing feature, is now being used to create non-consensual and sexualized deep fake

app which has an image editing feature is now being used to create non-consensual and sexualized deep fake

images. Grock was producing at least a dozen inappropriate images every minute. Uh,

images Grock was producing at least a dozen inappropriate images every minute Uh

people are commanding the chatbot to take people's clothes off basically.

people are commanding the chatbot to take people's clothes off basically

Wow. Okay, this this is a tough one. On one hand, you are violating the consent

Wow Okay this this is a tough one On one hand you are violating the consent

of women around the world. But on the other hand, where else are you going to find pictures of naked ladies online?

of women around the world But on the other hand where else are you going to find pictures of naked ladies online

And we have the world's most powerful computers, and this is what we're doing with them. I mean, when the printing

And we have the world's most powerful computers and this is what we're doing with them I mean when the printing

press came out, were monks like, "Okay, we'll get to the Gutenberg Bible. But first, let's make 40 copies of Greor's

press came out were monks like Okay we'll get to the Gutenberg Bible But first let's make 40 copies of Greor's

ass cheeks. All right, get on it." I mean, is is every Trump cabinet member spending their whole day actively

ass cheeks All right get on it I mean is is every Trump cabinet member spending their whole day actively

destroying the country? I mean, I don't even want to check in with the I I don't know. The the the labor secretary.

destroying the country I mean I don't even want to check in with the I I don't know The the the labor secretary

Labor Secretary Lorie Chavez Jerem is under an internal investigation. Of course. Of course you're under

Labor Secretary Lorie Chavez Jerem is under an internal investigation Of course Of course you're under

investigation. What? What? Are Are you Are you crushing unions? Are you bringing back child labor? Are you

investigation What What Are Are you Are you crushing unions Are you bringing back child labor Are you

declaring paternity leave kind of gay? What is it? What What terrible thing is it?

declaring paternity leave kind of gay What is it What What terrible thing is it

The complaint alleges she pursued an inappropriate relationship with a subordinate, including several visits to

The complaint alleges she pursued an inappropriate relationship with a subordinate including several visits to

an apartment and hotel rooms while traveling. That's it.

an apartment and hotel rooms while traveling That's it

An an inappropriate relationship. Hell thelujah.

An an inappropriate relationship Hell thelujah

That's not evil. Oh, that's that's not even peritty or what have you. That's

That's not evil Oh that's that's not even peritty or what have you That's

that's the kind of throwback scandal we had in the '9s. Kabunga, dude. You know,

that's the kind of throwback scandal we had in the '9s Kabunga dude You know

come on, tell me more. The complaint alleges drinking in the office during the workday, including a reported stash of champagne, bourbon, and Kalúa. Okay,

come on tell me more The complaint alleges drinking in the office during the workday including a reported stash of champagne bourbon and Kalúa Okay

Kalúa. Huh? You're a cabinet secretary. You're not a a college freshman building up the

Kalúa Huh You're a cabinet secretary You're not a a college freshman building up the

courage to lose your virginity at a frat party. But you know what? You have disgraced your office with your alleged

courage to lose your virginity at a frat party But you know what You have disgraced your office with your alleged

personal conduct. And let me just say, thank you. It is such a relief to have a

personal conduct And let me just say thank you It is such a relief to have a

scandal based on a Trump official not doing their job instead of doing an evil job too well. But let's move on from

scandal based on a Trump official not doing their job instead of doing an evil job too well But let's move on from

people accused of having affairs to something completely different. Health Secretary RFK Jr., the man with a face

people accused of having affairs to something completely different Health Secretary RFK Jr the man with a face

for radio and a voice for closed captioning.

for radio and a voice for closed captioning

And now, now, yes, now RFK Jr., he's he's telling you

And now now yes now RFK Jr he's he's telling you

what to eat and drink if you want to be just as healthy as him. At a White House briefing, Health

what to eat and drink if you want to be just as healthy as him At a White House briefing Health

Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. introduced new guidelines that emphasize eating proteins, fresh vegetables, dairy

Secretary Robert F Kennedy Jr introduced new guidelines that emphasize eating proteins fresh vegetables dairy

products, and whole grains while cutting back on processed foods and added sugar. On alcohol, Americans should limit

products and whole grains while cutting back on processed foods and added sugar On alcohol Americans should limit

consumption. In the best case scenario, I don't think you should drink alcohol. Ah, great news. We're not in the best

consumption In the best case scenario I don't think you should drink alcohol Ah great news We're not in the best

case scenario right now. No. No. That's not where we are. No. If

case scenario right now No No That's not where we are No If

we were in the best case scenario, our health wouldn't be in the hands of a man who looks like a 1930s basketball.

we were in the best case scenario our health wouldn't be in the hands of a man who looks like a 1930s basketball

So, if you'll excuse me, Secretary Lori and I will keep pounding those white

So if you'll excuse me Secretary Lori and I will keep pounding those white

Russians. Thank you very much. But, okay. All right. So, so lots of

Russians Thank you very much But okay All right So so lots of

protein, full fat dairy, and alcohol if you're keeping up with the news. And I'm assuming there's a simple, logical

protein full fat dairy and alcohol if you're keeping up with the news And I'm assuming there's a simple logical

graphic to help understand the new recommendations. See the food pyramid here?

graphic to help understand the new recommendations See the food pyramid here

It's upside down. A lot of you will say, but it was actually upside down before.

It's upside down A lot of you will say but it was actually upside down before

Let me just write it.

Let me just write it

He sounds healthy. Real healthy. Yeah. No, you know what? I'm pretty sure this

He sounds healthy Real healthy Yeah No you know what I'm pretty sure this

one is upside down. Unless I'm misremembering every pyramid photo I've

one is upside down Unless I'm misremembering every pyramid photo I've

ever seen. You know what? Don't worry. Don't worry

ever seen You know what Don't worry Don't worry

about the confusing food pyramid because the health department is also spreading the word with the most dynamic,

about the confusing food pyramid because the health department is also spreading the word with the most dynamic

charismatic spokesman they could find. Three cheers for whole milk.

charismatic spokesman they could find Three cheers for whole milk

Good stuff.

Good stuff

Yeah. This is going to get the kids to drink milk.

Yeah This is going to get the kids to drink milk

Timothy Shalamé yawn. Kaisenat pass. Oh Is that former

Timothy Shalamé yawn Kaisenat pass Oh Is that former

HUD Secretary Ben Carson? Sign me up. Also, you're making Ben Carson drink a

HUD Secretary Ben Carson Sign me up Also you're making Ben Carson drink a

glass of milk. The drink that famously helps us fall asleep at night. Are you

glass of milk The drink that famously helps us fall asleep at night Are you

insane? If Ben Carson gets any sleepier, he could die.

insane If Ben Carson gets any sleepier he could die

You know what? I I I'm sure the guidelines to eat more meat and dairy is based on the the best possible science

You know what I I I'm sure the guidelines to eat more meat and dairy is based on the the best possible science

and nothing else. We should note of the 10 people on Kennedy's team, half

and nothing else We should note of the 10 people on Kennedy's team half

reported financial ties to the beef, pork, or dairy industries. Wow. Wow. You know what? In any other

reported financial ties to the beef pork or dairy industries Wow Wow You know what In any other

administration, I'd say half of the team had financial ties. But with the Trump

administration I'd say half of the team had financial ties But with the Trump

administration, I'd say, "Wow, only half had financial ties." You know what?

administration I'd say Wow only half had financial ties You know what

That's three cheers of whole milk. You know,

That's three cheers of whole milk You know

good stuff. Good stuff. Yesterday, our beloved President Trump visited real Americans working real jobs at a real

good stuff Good stuff Yesterday our beloved President Trump visited real Americans working real jobs at a real

factory. And you know, these are his people, so I'm sure he got a much needed boost of support. As the president

factory And you know these are his people so I'm sure he got a much needed boost of support As the president

toured a Ford manufacturing factory, this moment caught on camera in video obtained by TMZ. One man shouting at the

toured a Ford manufacturing factory this moment caught on camera in video obtained by TMZ One man shouting at the

president, "Pedophile protector." President Trump mouthing an expletative in response and appearing to give the

president Pedophile protector President Trump mouthing an expletative in response and appearing to give the

man the middle finger. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Mr. President,

man the middle finger Whoa whoa whoa whoa Mr President

you can't flip off a citizen that way. Not with your delicate hands.

you can't flip off a citizen that way Not with your delicate hands

They'll be bruised for weeks. I mean, I don't know why Trump's so upset. I mean, he could have called you

They'll be bruised for weeks I mean I don't know why Trump's so upset I mean he could have called you

a pedophile, but he kept it to pedophile protector out of respect for the office.

a pedophile but he kept it to pedophile protector out of respect for the office

And for all we know, that guy could have been a pedophile requesting pedophile protection.

And for all we know that guy could have been a pedophile requesting pedophile protection

Help me. Help me. I know that's your thing. Redact me the out of here, Mr.

Help me Help me I know that's your thing Redact me the out of here Mr

President. Please. But Trump wasn't just there to do hand stuff. No.

President Please But Trump wasn't just there to do hand stuff No

He also gave a speech where he had a message for all the people who have been out on the streets for the last few

days. Keep protesting and save the name of the killers and the abusers that are

days Keep protesting and save the name of the killers and the abusers that are

abusing you. You're being very badly abused. One death is too much. Wow. Wow. Standing up for the protesters

abusing you You're being very badly abused One death is too much Wow Wow Standing up for the protesters

in Minnesota. You know, people call this guy a dictator, a fascist, a pedophile

in Minnesota You know people call this guy a dictator a fascist a pedophile

protector. But here he is with a fullthroated defense of Americans right to protest

protector But here he is with a fullthroated defense of Americans right to protest

their government. I've canled all meetings with the Iranian officials until the senseless killing of

their government I've canled all meetings with the Iranian officials until the senseless killing of

protesters stops. Ah, he's talking about Iran. Okay, my mistake. Yes. Okay. But you know what?

protesters stops Ah he's talking about Iran Okay my mistake Yes Okay But you know what

You know what? It doesn't matter because President Trump is nothing if not consistent in his beliefs and ironclad

You know what It doesn't matter because President Trump is nothing if not consistent in his beliefs and ironclad

in his principles. And I know that his police force will treat Americans with the same empathy and restraint when they

in his principles And I know that his police force will treat Americans with the same empathy and restraint when they

you know where this is going. Overnight, flashbangs lighting up the Minneapolis skies.

you know where this is going Overnight flashbangs lighting up the Minneapolis skies

agents seen descending on protesters. Earlier Tuesday, federal agents seen

agents seen descending on protesters Earlier Tuesday federal agents seen

dragging people out of their cars and spraying others directly in the face with chemicals.

dragging people out of their cars and spraying others directly in the face with chemicals

Holy I mean, I don't know what's more terrifying, them hitting that guy point blank with pepper balls or him not

Holy I mean I don't know what's more terrifying them hitting that guy point blank with pepper balls or him not

even flinching at them. Although, to be fair, it's like 9° out

even flinching at them Although to be fair it's like 9° out

there. The pepper spray is only warming them up. Now, the administration wants

there The pepper spray is only warming them up Now the administration wants

you to believe that these protesters are the ones out of line here because ICE agents are just a group of well-trained,

you to believe that these protesters are the ones out of line here because ICE agents are just a group of well-trained

methodical police officers carrying out their duties, taking out the worst of the worst. But in reality, this is what

methodical police officers carrying out their duties taking out the worst of the worst But in reality this is what

motans are seeing. The Trump administration has only double or tripled down on these ICE raids, leading

motans are seeing The Trump administration has only double or tripled down on these ICE raids leading

to more instances of racial profiling. The ICE agents asked to see the IDs of the three non-white employees and didn't

to more instances of racial profiling The ICE agents asked to see the IDs of the three non-white employees and didn't

even bother to ask the white employee for the identification. Stops at highway exits where people are

even bother to ask the white employee for the identification Stops at highway exits where people are

being pulled out of their cars and asked to show identification. An American citizen named Christian Molina was driving down the road when

being pulled out of their cars and asked to show identification An American citizen named Christian Molina was driving down the road when

ICE knocked on his door and asked for him to show him his identification.

ICE knocked on his door and asked for him to show him his identification

Agents arresting two workers outside a Minnesota target. A state lawmaker says

Agents arresting two workers outside a Minnesota target A state lawmaker says

they're both US citizens. US citizen. ICE agents demanding that an Uber driver

they're both US citizens US citizen ICE agents demanding that an Uber driver

show them ID. Country you were from this country. You know I'm an immigration office. What do you mean if I'm from this

show them ID Country you were from this country You know I'm an immigration office What do you mean if I'm from this

country? I can hear you don't have the same accent as me. That's why I'm Oh, so you're going by accents now. I want to know where were you born?

country I can hear you don't have the same accent as me That's why I'm Oh so you're going by accents now I want to know where were you born

This is outrageous. Are you seriously trying to question a person's citizenship because they have an accent

This is outrageous Are you seriously trying to question a person's citizenship because they have an accent

in Minnesota where people sound like this?

in Minnesota where people sound like this

So, where you girls from? Chaska Lassour, but I went to high school in White Bear Lake. You know, go Bears.

So where you girls from Chaska Lassour but I went to high school in White Bear Lake You know go Bears

Okay. Speak American. Come on. And if you're

Okay Speak American Come on And if you're

wondering just how offtarget ICE is getting in their supposed focus on illegal immigrants, the answer is very.

wondering just how offtarget ICE is getting in their supposed focus on illegal immigrants the answer is very

Tribal leaders confirmed that four Native American men have been detained by ICE in Minneapolis.

Tribal leaders confirmed that four Native American men have been detained by ICE in Minneapolis

Native Americans. Americans is right in the name. Sir, how

Native Americans Americans is right in the name Sir how

long have you lived here? Oh, I don't know. Since Pangia.

long have you lived here Oh I don't know Since Pangia

I mean, look, look, let's let's not beat around the bush here. What the government is doing right now in Minnesota is blatantly unAmerican, but

I mean look look let's let's not beat around the bush here What the government is doing right now in Minnesota is blatantly unAmerican but

the response to it is as American as can be. Some community members are not only

the response to it is as American as can be Some community members are not only

protesting, they're also looking out for their neighbors. Volunteers delivering groceries to immigrant families.

protesting they're also looking out for their neighbors Volunteers delivering groceries to immigrant families

All around the Twin Cities, you hear these earpiercing whistles. Activists blow the whistles when they see agents

All around the Twin Cities you hear these earpiercing whistles Activists blow the whistles when they see agents

to alert the anti-ICE network. Agents drive in and out all day, greeted by

to alert the anti-ICE network Agents drive in and out all day greeted by

protesters with profanity and occasional slices of baloney thrown at their vehicles.

protesters with profanity and occasional slices of baloney thrown at their vehicles

Man, I'm on. Wow.

Man I'm on Wow

I mean, that is solid aim. I think the Vikings have finally found their quarterback.

I mean that is solid aim I think the Vikings have finally found their quarterback

I mean, that's right. The protesters are fighting back and their weapons are launchable.

I mean that's right The protesters are fighting back and their weapons are launchable

Sorry, I read that wrong. Lunchable. Their their weapons are lunchables. I I

Sorry I read that wrong Lunchable Their their weapons are lunchables I I

have to say this is not only rude to Ice, it is disrespectful to the dog who gave his life to become that baloney.

have to say this is not only rude to Ice it is disrespectful to the dog who gave his life to become that baloney

Lot of baloney fans here, I say. Read the ingredients, folks. In fact, the

Lot of baloney fans here I say Read the ingredients folks In fact the

downside is you did just give those guys free lunch because you know those ICE agents aren't letting a perfectly good

slice of car door baloney go to waste. But the people of Minnesota, they got to be careful. As we've seen, some of these

slice of car door baloney go to waste But the people of Minnesota they got to be careful As we've seen some of these

ICE agents are poorly trained and hot-tempered. If you're going to confront them, you have to do it with

ICE agents are poorly trained and hot-tempered If you're going to confront them you have to do it with

courage, conviction, and the finest, most luxurious outerwear you can afford.

courage conviction and the finest most luxurious outerwear you can afford

A bunch of if I've ever seen a bunch. And I'm telling you to your face.

A bunch of if I've ever seen a bunch And I'm telling you to your face

And if you don't like it, you go.

And if you don't like it you go

Can this guy be my dad? I mean I mean, god damn. I can't believe this dude is

Can this guy be my dad I mean I mean god damn I can't believe this dude is

from Minnesota and not from a Quinton Tarantino movie. The depravity of the police state is so

from Minnesota and not from a Quinton Tarantino movie The depravity of the police state is so

deep that people are time traveling from a boxing match in the 1970s just to call

out their Now, the protesters aren't just confronting ICE. Right-wing

out their Now the protesters aren't just confronting ICE Right-wing

media has been on the ground in Minneapolis trying to make the case that the situation is justified, and the

media has been on the ground in Minneapolis trying to make the case that the situation is justified and the

residents are giving those right-wing outlets the respect that they're reporting deserves.

residents are giving those right-wing outlets the respect that they're reporting deserves

We're just trying to have an intelligent conversation. I'm a tall man. I'm a big and tall man.

We're just trying to have an intelligent conversation I'm a tall man I'm a big and tall man

I don't act this way. I'm a big man. You want to engage an intelligent

I don't act this way I'm a big man You want to engage an intelligent

conversation? You think US taxpayers should be funding housing for illegals and medical care?

conversation You think US taxpayers should be funding housing for illegals and medical care

Smart man.

Smart man

I get the feeling that she didn't actually think he was smart. See, that is how you turn your

I get the feeling that she didn't actually think he was smart See that is how you turn your

weaknesses into strengths. You know, she brings that energy to her daughter's high school graduation party that she

weaknesses into strengths You know she brings that energy to her daughter's high school graduation party that she

swore she'd be cool at. That's a nightmare. She brings it to a fascist

swore she'd be cool at That's a nightmare She brings it to a fascist

takeover. Let this lady cook. Now, obviously, not all the protesters

takeover Let this lady cook Now obviously not all the protesters

are talking to the media in such a ridiculous way. Some of them are offering very serious, impassioned

are talking to the media in such a ridiculous way Some of them are offering very serious impassioned

arguments while dressed in a ridiculous way. Why are you out here today, Pickle

arguments while dressed in a ridiculous way Why are you out here today Pickle

Rick? I'm out here tonight because they are terrorizing Minnesota. They are

Rick I'm out here tonight because they are terrorizing Minnesota They are

terrorizing my friends, neighbors, and my clients. Hold on. Hold up.

terrorizing my friends neighbors and my clients Hold on Hold up

Your clients? I didn't realize it was Pickle Rick Esquire over here. That explains the

Your clients I didn't realize it was Pickle Rick Esquire over here That explains the

billboards I keep seeing on the highway. Bottom line, what's happening in

billboards I keep seeing on the highway Bottom line what's happening in

Minnesota is dark, but the community response is inspiring. These brutal and authoritarian police tactics have

Minnesota is dark but the community response is inspiring These brutal and authoritarian police tactics have

brought together a coalition of Midwesterners that spans from pickles to wine moms to Vietnam veterans with

incredible drip. And none of this had to happen if Donald Trump treated Americans with respect for their inherent rights.

incredible drip And none of this had to happen if Donald Trump treated Americans with respect for their inherent rights

But if you're going to come at Americans with this attitude, don't be surprised when they come right back at you twice

But if you're going to come at Americans with this attitude don't be surprised when they come right back at you twice

as hard. I'll tell you what, there is so much going on in the world today. Domestic strife, international

as hard I'll tell you what there is so much going on in the world today Domestic strife international

uprisings, Verizon went down for 4 hours yesterday, so I had to Google myself on

uprisings Verizon went down for 4 hours yesterday so I had to Google myself on

my desktop like a loser. But with all the chaos in the world, I'm so glad we have a president who's laser

my desktop like a loser But with all the chaos in the world I'm so glad we have a president who's laser

focused on the issues that matter most. You see that beautiful milk? That's what

focused on the issues that matter most You see that beautiful milk That's what

we're here for. We're going to be discussing milk and whole milk and how good it is. Yes,

we're here for We're going to be discussing milk and whole milk and how good it is Yes

milk. Mr. President, thank you for shining a light on this important issue

milk Mr President thank you for shining a light on this important issue

and also for having a big jug of milk on your desk as a visual aid

in case people forget what milk is. I mean, how are these people intolerant

in case people forget what milk is I mean how are these people intolerant

of everything except lactose? But while Trump was focused on his

of everything except lactose But while Trump was focused on his

domestic priorities, his underlings were taking care of the smaller issues. You know, like uh uh invading Europe.

domestic priorities his underlings were taking care of the smaller issues You know like uh uh invading Europe

Tonight, as President Trump escalates his push to take over Greenland, top officials from Greenland and Denmark

Tonight as President Trump escalates his push to take over Greenland top officials from Greenland and Denmark

traveling to Washington to plead their case to the vice president and secretary of state. But they emerged saying the

traveling to Washington to plead their case to the vice president and secretary of state But they emerged saying the

two sides have a quote fundamental disagreement. It's clear that the

two sides have a quote fundamental disagreement It's clear that the

president has this v wish uh of conquering over over Greenland.

president has this v wish uh of conquering over over Greenland

Okay, first of all, why are they doing a press conference from the cocktail hour at a

Okay first of all why are they doing a press conference from the cocktail hour at a

dark day for Greenland? Hold on to those crab cakes.

dark day for Greenland Hold on to those crab cakes

Yes, you can you can tell this meeting didn't go well by the way. The entire delegation rushed to smoke immediately

Yes you can you can tell this meeting didn't go well by the way The entire delegation rushed to smoke immediately

after. I mean, look, look at the rushing. Look at this guy. He's literally sprinting to

after I mean look look at the rushing Look at this guy He's literally sprinting to

the car to grab a smoke and calm his nerves. One meeting with JD Vance and

the car to grab a smoke and calm his nerves One meeting with JD Vance and

Marco Rubio will turn you into the Ben Affle like me.

Marco Rubio will turn you into the Ben Affle like me

So, these diplomatic talks might not work out. And Europe's not waiting to take action. Denmark says it's expanding

So these diplomatic talks might not work out And Europe's not waiting to take action Denmark says it's expanding

its military footprint in Greenland over President Trump's push to annex the Danish territory. You've got Germany,

its military footprint in Greenland over President Trump's push to annex the Danish territory You've got Germany

France, Sweden, and Norway all sending military personnel to the island this week for a joint exercise with Denmark.

France Sweden and Norway all sending military personnel to the island this week for a joint exercise with Denmark

This is wild. Germany, Sweden, France, Norway all sent soldiers because of us.

This is wild Germany Sweden France Norway all sent soldiers because of us

And you know they're pissed. They're supposed to be on one of their 37 weeks of vacation right now. But no, we have

And you know they're pissed They're supposed to be on one of their 37 weeks of vacation right now But no we have

to go to war. But yesterday illustrates what a strange

to go to war But yesterday illustrates what a strange

mixture this administration is. Some some hybrid of war plananes and clown

mixture this administration is Some some hybrid of war plananes and clown

cars. Because everyone from resistance libs to his own vice president has

cars Because everyone from resistance libs to his own vice president has

compared Trump to Hitler. But I'm pretty sure Hitler never took a break from invading Poland to be like, "Today I

compared Trump to Hitler But I'm pretty sure Hitler never took a break from invading Poland to be like Today I

just want to talk about milk.

just want to talk about milk

never happened. I don't think it happened. But while the

never happened I don't think it happened But while the

authoritarian experiment is playing out on an international level right here in New York City, we're in the midst of our

authoritarian experiment is playing out on an international level right here in New York City we're in the midst of our

own political experiment. Two weeks ago, our capitalist utopia was invaded by a

own political experiment Two weeks ago our capitalist utopia was invaded by a

communist dreamboat, Zoran Mandani, and our American patriots have been sounding

communist dreamboat Zoran Mandani and our American patriots have been sounding

the alarm on what's to come. A foreignb born Muslim communist who hates the

the alarm on what's to come A foreignb born Muslim communist who hates the

greatest nation on earth and wants to change it is now in power. His mom Donniey's breadlines coming to the

greatest nation on earth and wants to change it is now in power His mom Donniey's breadlines coming to the

city soon. It's going to be extreme. It's going to be anti-American as he plunges the city ever deeper into

city soon It's going to be extreme It's going to be anti-American as he plunges the city ever deeper into

the mess his socialism helped create. New York is going to be bankrupt in 6 months.

the mess his socialism helped create New York is going to be bankrupt in 6 months

Another great American city is going to swirl down the drain. Down the drain.

Another great American city is going to swirl down the drain Down the drain

down the drain. Have you guys been to New York during a flash flood?

down the drain Have you guys been to New York during a flash flood

Nothing goes down the drain here. Nothing.

Nothing goes down the drain here Nothing

Nothing. At best, New York will be floating down the curb next to a used condom.

Nothing At best New York will be floating down the curb next to a used condom

But we've been warned and we didn't listen. So, let's find out what's in store for us in our new segment on Zoran

But we've been warned and we didn't listen So let's find out what's in store for us in our new segment on Zoran

Mandani's New York.

Mandani's New York

I see a very

graphics package. Okay, it's been 2 weeks since Sauron seized

graphics package Okay it's been 2 weeks since Sauron seized

power in a brutal democratic coup d'etata or what some are calling an election.

power in a brutal democratic coup d'etata or what some are calling an election

So what nightmare dystopian agenda has he pursued since taking office? On Tuesday, Mayor Mamdani grabbed a

So what nightmare dystopian agenda has he pursued since taking office On Tuesday Mayor Mamdani grabbed a

shovel and joined transportation department workers to fix a bump at the foot of the bike path before Delansancy

Street. Yeah. See, that's Oh, whoa. Whoa.

Street Yeah See that's Oh whoa Whoa

That's how it starts. Classic communism. First they level out the roads, then

That's how it starts Classic communism First they level out the roads then

they level out the social classes. What else is he doing here? Or Mandami

they level out the social classes What else is he doing here Or Mandami

says he's making a $4 million commitment to bring modular, highquality bathrooms like these to the five burrows. Wow.

says he's making a 4 million commitment to bring modular highquality bathrooms like these to the five burrows Wow

Wow. Straight out of the well-known communist playbook, everyone poops. No, sir.

Wow Straight out of the well-known communist playbook everyone poops No sir

In America, the free market decides who poops. I always say it's better to piss your

In America the free market decides who poops I always say it's better to piss your

pants as a free man than to use the toilet as a slave. Okay, Mumani, what

pants as a free man than to use the toilet as a slave Okay Mumani what

else are you going to force down our freedom loving throats? Mayor Mumdani spent this morning announcing plans for expanded free child

else are you going to force down our freedom loving throats Mayor Mumdani spent this morning announcing plans for expanded free child

care. No longer do New Yorkers have to make the choice between this city and their

care No longer do New Yorkers have to make the choice between this city and their

family. No, no, no. New Yorkers should be watching their own kids at all times.

family No no no New Yorkers should be watching their own kids at all times

It's called personal responsibility. Isn't that right, Jordan Jr. Jord Jordan,

It's called personal responsibility Isn't that right Jordan Jr Jord Jordan

if anyone sees my child, feed him, please.

if anyone sees my child feed him please

Besides, if you're watching right-wing news, you know what a mom Donnie child care scheme is going to look like. Do

Besides if you're watching right-wing news you know what a mom Donnie child care scheme is going to look like Do

you remember that cringey YouTube star for the toddler set and Palestinian advocate Miss Rachel? Well, she's

you remember that cringey YouTube star for the toddler set and Palestinian advocate Miss Rachel Well she's

teaming up with your favorite mayor comrade Mandani.

teaming up with your favorite mayor comrade Mandani

Oh man, that's terrible. I

Oh man that's terrible I

I think I think Yes. I think Well, you know what? Why don't Why don't you tell me why this is terrible? She's

I think I think Yes I think Well you know what Why don't Why don't you tell me why this is terrible She's

normalizing these socialist ideas for children and their parents. Oh, right.

normalizing these socialist ideas for children and their parents Oh right

Right. We can't normalize the socialist ideas of being happy

Right We can't normalize the socialist ideas of being happy

and knowing it and

and really wanting to show it. No, no, no, no, no. I you know what? I am sorry.

and really wanting to show it No no no no no I you know what I am sorry

I am I am really trying hard to get into this whole anti-Momani red scare fever.

I am I am really trying hard to get into this whole anti-Momani red scare fever

But you know what? I'm going to give him a chance. From everything I've seen, it does not look like he's an unamerican

But you know what I'm going to give him a chance From everything I've seen it does not look like he's an unamerican

extremist looking to add foreign influence into this city. One thing that we will change is we will

extremist looking to add foreign influence into this city One thing that we will change is we will

be installing few bedets into Gracie Mansion. A bedet.

be installing few bedets into Gracie Mansion A bedet

A bedet. You monster. How dare you wash your butt?

A bedet You monster How dare you wash your butt

You take that coarse one ply and mash it around like you're killing a spider up

there. like an American.

there like an American

- Pause

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