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Welcome everybody. Welcome one and all
Welcome
everybody
Welcome
one
and
all
to the Late Show. I am your host Steven
to
the
Late
Show
I
am
your
host
Steven
Colbear. Ladies [cheering] and
Colbear
Ladies
cheering
and
gentlemen,
gentlemen
well, holidays are upon us. Uh it is
well
holidays
are
upon
us
Uh
it
is
December December 2nd. The year is
December
December
2nd
The
year
is
almost over and 2025 has it's been a
almost
over
and
2025
has
it's
been
a
rough one. And I mean, obviously,
rough
one
And
I
mean
obviously
there's no one to blame for that other
there's
no
one
to
blame
for
that
other
than Donald other than Donald Trump. And
than
Donald
other
than
Donald
Trump
And
and a lot of people are uh in the new
and
a
lot
of
people
are
uh
in
the
new
Gallup poll, his approval rating is down
Gallup
poll
his
approval
rating
is
down
to 36% with [cheering] 60%
to
36
with
cheering
60
disapproval.
disapproval
Yeah. Which is why Trump has started to
Yeah
Which
is
why
Trump
has
started
to
wear a new hat. More popular than
wear
a
new
hat
More
popular
than
syphilis.
syphilis
By that much. Just by that much.
By
that
much
Just
by
that
much
Penicellin won't help with him. Now, so
Penicellin
won't
help
with
him
Now
so
Trump's underwater in every category
Trump's
underwater
in
every
category
according to a new Yuggov, no Yuggov
according
to
a
new
Yuggov
no
Yuggov
poll, [laughter]
poll
laughter
he's very unpopular overall as
he's
very
unpopular
overall
as
president. Uh unpopular on the economy,
president
Uh
unpopular
on
the
economy
on healthcare, on the Epstein
on
healthcare
on
the
Epstein
investigation, on education, and on the
investigation
on
education
and
on
the
environment. Donald Trump. I just found
environment
Donald
Trump
I
just
found
that Donald Trump is also the most hated
that
Donald
Trump
is
also
the
most
hated
Zootopia character, [cheering] the
Zootopia
character
cheering
the
lowest rated midsize sedan, and the
lowest
rated
midsize
sedan
and
the
least popular Oreo flavor double stuffed
least
popular
Oreo
flavor
double
stuffed
cankle. Now, [cheering]
cankle
Now
cheering
the thing I said I unpopular. Now, the
the
thing
I
said
I
unpopular
Now
the
thing hurting Trump the most is cost of
thing
hurting
Trump
the
most
is
cost
of
living for the average American. He has
living
for
the
average
American
He
has
been trying everything he can think of,
been
trying
everything
he
can
think
of
which is not much. [laughter]
which
is
not
much
laughter
And to appease voters, he started
And
to
appease
voters
he
started
reminding them that his big beautiful
reminding
them
that
his
big
beautiful
bill takes effect on January 1st. But
bill
takes
effect
on
January
1st
But
that's actually going to cause a problem
that's
actually
going
to
cause
a
problem
[snorts] because IRS agents will be
snorts
because
IRS
agents
will
be
required to watch only fans videos to
required
to
watch
only
fans
videos
to
determine if they fit the bill's no tax
determine
if
they
fit
the
bill's
no
tax
on tips criteria.
on
tips
criteria
They're going to have to watch every
They're
going
to
have
to
watch
every
Only Fans video. They're going to need
Only
Fans
video
They're
going
to
need
to bring in some part-time help. Billy.
to
bring
in
some
part-time
help
Billy
Billy, what are you doing in there?
Billy
what
are
you
doing
in
there
Don't come in, Mom. I'm I'm running an
Don't
come
in
Mom
I'm
I'm
running
an
audit.
audit
[laughter]
laughter
Now, today,
Now
today
uh Trump held one of his weird, uh
uh
Trump
held
one
of
his
weird
uh
televised cabinet meetings, and uh
televised
cabinet
meetings
and
uh
somewhere in that three hours, he
somewhere
in
that
three
hours
he
addressed the affordability crisis head
addressed
the
affordability
crisis
head
on.
on
>> The word affordability is a conj job by
>>
The
word
affordability
is
a
conj
job
by
the Democrats. It's one of the many conj
the
Democrats
It's
one
of
the
many
conj
job words made up by the Democrats
job
words
made
up
by
the
Democrats
like democracy,
like
democracy
dementia, and
dementia
and
the Epstein files.
the
Epstein
files
All made up. [cheering]
All
made
up
cheering
Am I leaning? I feel like I'm listening
Am
I
leaning
I
feel
like
I'm
listening
a little bit to Starboard here. Now, one
a
little
bit
to
Starboard
here
Now
one
of the reasons you're paying exactly as
of
the
reasons
you're
paying
exactly
as
much as you want for everything is
much
as
you
want
for
everything
is
Trump's tariffs. And it turns out you
Trump's
tariffs
And
it
turns
out
you
like those too.
like
those
too
>> We're going to be giving back refunds
>>
We're
going
to
be
giving
back
refunds
out of the tariffs because we've taken
out
of
the
tariffs
because
we've
taken
in literally trillions of dollars. And I
in
literally
trillions
of
dollars
And
I
believe that at some point in the not
believe
that
at
some
point
in
the
not
too distant future, you won't even have
too
distant
future
you
won't
even
have
income tax to pay because the money
income
tax
to
pay
because
the
money
we're taking in is so great, it's so
we're
taking
in
is
so
great
it's
so
enormous that you're not going to have
enormous
that
you're
not
going
to
have
income tax to pay whether you get rid of
income
tax
to
pay
whether
you
get
rid
of
it or just keep it around for fun.
it
or
just
keep
it
around
for
fun
>> Yes.
>>
Yes
>> [laughter]
>>
laughter
>> I don't know why people suspect that
>>
I
don't
know
why
people
suspect
that
he's never paid taxes.
he's
never
paid
taxes
He knows, like we all do, the taxes are
He
knows
like
we
all
do
the
taxes
are
fun. That's why the longest line at
fun
That's
why
the
longest
line
at
Disneyland is to get on Accountants of
Disneyland
is
to
get
on
Accountants
of
the Caribbean.
the
Caribbean
Then uh the president of the United
Then
uh
the
president
of
the
United
States bragged about slimming down the
States
bragged
about
slimming
down
the
price of Ozmpic.
price
of
Ozmpic
>> We're paying as an example for the let's
>>
We're
paying
as
an
example
for
the
let's
call it the fat drug. The fat drug fat
call
it
the
fat
drug
The
fat
drug
fat
for fat people.
for
fat
people
>> Fat people. for fat people. F A T fat
>>
Fat
people
for
fat
people
F
A
T
fat
people. People p e E ple [laughter]
people
People
p
e
E
ple
laughter
[cheering]
cheering
cognitive.
cognitive
Cognitive, which is spelled
Cognitive
which
is
spelled
MRI. Cognitive.
MRI
Cognitive
I think that's how you spell it. Now,
I
think
that's
how
you
spell
it
Now
[applause and cheering]
applause
and
cheering
the later, again, I'm listening
the
later
again
I'm
listening
slightly. I'm right over here. We got to
slightly
I'm
right
over
here
We
got
to
get the ballast back. And the later in
get
the
ballast
back
And
the
later
in
the meeting, uh, we heard from Marco
the
meeting
uh
we
heard
from
Marco
Rubio. Now, if you watch this footage
Rubio
Now
if
you
watch
this
footage
very closely, eagle-eyed viewers might
very
closely
eagle-eyed
viewers
might
notice that Trump is dozing off.
notice
that
Trump
is
dozing
off
>> This war is going on, and the president
>>
This
war
is
going
on
and
the
president
is trying to end it. Not because,
is
trying
to
end
it
Not
because
listen, we got a million things to focus
listen
we
got
a
million
things
to
focus
on in the world as a country, but he's
on
in
the
world
as
a
country
but
he's
the only leader in the world that can
the
only
leader
in
the
world
that
can
help end it.
help
end
it
>> Okay,
>>
Okay
[cheering]
cheering
let's be fair. Maybe he's so old that he
let's
be
fair
Maybe
he's
so
old
that
he
fell asleep in an afternoon meeting. Or
fell
asleep
in
an
afternoon
meeting
Or
maybe he just closed his eyes to better
maybe
he
just
closed
his
eyes
to
better
concentrate on filling his adult diaper.
concentrate
on
filling
his
adult
diaper
Then
Then
[cheering]
cheering
[applause]
applause
then he fell asleep.
then
he
fell
asleep
[cheering]
cheering
Toasty. The administration.
Toasty
The
administration
[applause and music]
applause
and
music
The administration is also scrambling to
The
administration
is
also
scrambling
to
defend the actions of Defense Secretary
defend
the
actions
of
Defense
Secretary
Pete Hgse. Seen here finding out they
Pete
Hgse
Seen
here
finding
out
they
don't serve booze at the American Girl
don't
serve
booze
at
the
American
Girl
doll cafe.
doll
cafe
Hgseth. He's in deep water over what he
Hgseth
He's
in
deep
water
over
what
he
ordered uh to be done in deep water.
ordered
uh
to
be
done
in
deep
water
Specifically, an attack on an alleged
Specifically
an
attack
on
an
alleged
drug smuggling boat in which the Navy
drug
smuggling
boat
in
which
the
Navy
launched a secondary strike on the
launched
a
secondary
strike
on
the
defenseless survivors, which may or may
defenseless
survivors
which
may
or
may
definitely be a war crime. The United
definitely
be
a
war
crime
The
United
The White House is insisting that
The
White
House
is
insisting
that
Hegath's orders were totally legal, but
Hegath's
orders
were
totally
legal
but
also that it wasn't actually Hegth. They
also
that
it
wasn't
actually
Hegth
They
say the strikes were conducted by
say
the
strikes
were
conducted
by
special operations commander and
special
operations
commander
and
fourstar cage-free egg Admiral Mitch
fourstar
cage-free
egg
Admiral
Mitch
Bradley.
Bradley
Hexath has made it clear that he is 100%
Hexath
has
made
it
clear
that
he
is
100
behind Admiral Bradley who was the one
behind
Admiral
Bradley
who
was
the
one
who actually did the bad thing which was
who
actually
did
the
bad
thing
which
was
actually a good thing that Hegath didn't
actually
a
good
thing
that
Hegath
didn't
even do. Yesterday he tweeted, "Adm
even
do
Yesterday
he
tweeted
Adm
Mitch Bradley is an American hero, a
Mitch
Bradley
is
an
American
hero
a
true professional, and has my 100%
true
professional
and
has
my
100
support. I stand by him and the combat
support
I
stand
by
him
and
the
combat
decision he has made. [cheering]
decision
he
has
made
cheering
Adding, I hope that his flight to the
Adding
I
hope
that
his
flight
to
the
Hague is on time and his chair at the
Hague
is
on
time
and
his
chair
at
the
tribunal is comfy.
tribunal
is
comfy
At today's cabinet meeting, Hexath
At
today's
cabinet
meeting
Hexath
explained what happened the day of the
explained
what
happened
the
day
of
the
strike and he took full responsibility
strike
and
he
took
full
responsibility
for finding out what somebody else who
for
finding
out
what
somebody
else
who
is not him did. I watched that first
is
not
him
did
I
watched
that
first
strike live. Uh, as you can imagine at
strike
live
Uh
as
you
can
imagine
at
the Department of War, we got a lot of
the
Department
of
War
we
got
a
lot
of
things to do. So, I didn't stick around
things
to
do
So
I
didn't
stick
around
for the hour and two hours. So, I moved
for
the
hour
and
two
hours
So
I
moved
on to my next meeting. Couple of hours
on
to
my
next
meeting
Couple
of
hours
later, I learned that that commander had
later
I
learned
that
that
commander
had
made the which he had the complete
made
the
which
he
had
the
complete
authority to do. And by the way, Admiral
authority
to
do
And
by
the
way
Admiral
Bradley made the correct decision to
Bradley
made
the
correct
decision
to
ultimately sink the boat and eliminate
ultimately
sink
the
boat
and
eliminate
the threat. As President Trump always
the
threat
As
President
Trump
always
has our back, we always have the back of
has
our
back
we
always
have
the
back
of
our commanders.
our
commanders
>> We always have their backs cuz that's
>>
We
always
have
their
backs
cuz
that's
where the good stabbing meat is.
where
the
good
stabbing
meat
is
But while get a kidney maybe. But while
But
while
get
a
kidney
maybe
But
while
[applause]
applause
[applause and cheering]
applause
and
cheering
but while Hegth did not make the
but
while
Hegth
did
not
make
the
decision for the perfectly fine possible
decision
for
the
perfectly
fine
possible
murder, he did double down on his
murder
he
did
double
down
on
his
warfight and warrior ethos of war waring
warfight
and
warrior
ethos
of
war
waring
war.
war
>> We've only just begun striking narco
>>
We've
only
just
begun
striking
narco
boats and putting narot terrorists uh at
boats
and
putting
narot
terrorists
uh
at
the bottom of the ocean. Joe Biden tried
the
bottom
of
the
ocean
Joe
Biden
tried
to approach it with kid gloves and
to
approach
it
with
kid
gloves
and
President Trump said, "No, we're taking
President
Trump
said
No
we're
taking
the gloves off."
the
gloves
off
>> President Trump, please don't take the
>>
President
Trump
please
don't
take
the
gloves off
gloves
off
because the stuff under there is a human
because
the
stuff
under
there
is
a
human
rights violation.
rights
violation
[cheering]
cheering
One person who's not buying the story is
One
person
who's
not
buying
the
story
is
Arizona senator and cage-free astronaut
Arizona
senator
and
cage-free
astronaut
egg. [cheering]
egg
cheering
[applause]
applause
Thank
Thank
Mark Kelly. A couple weeks ago, Kelly
Mark
Kelly
A
couple
weeks
ago
Kelly
and some other Democratic veterans in
and
some
other
Democratic
veterans
in
Congress put out a video where they
Congress
put
out
a
video
where
they
reminded service members that they can
reminded
service
members
that
they
can
refuse illegal orders. And we were all
refuse
illegal
orders
And
we
were
all
like, "Haha, why are they even saying
like
Haha
why
are
they
even
saying
that? That's not something you have to
that
That's
not
something
you
have
to
say." Well, it turns out you have to say
say
Well
it
turns
out
you
have
to
say
that. And Senator Kelly held a press
that
And
Senator
Kelly
held
a
press
conference to drive home just how
conference
to
drive
home
just
how
dangerous and unqualified Pete Hgse is.
dangerous
and
unqualified
Pete
Hgse
is
He runs around on a stage talking about
He
runs
around
on
a
stage
talking
about
lethality
lethality
and warrior ethos and killing people. He
and
warrior
ethos
and
killing
people
He
runs around on a stage like he's a
runs
around
on
a
stage
like
he's
a
12year-old playing army.
12year-old
playing
army
>> Uh I don't know about that. Those
>>
Uh
I
don't
know
about
that
Those
12-year-olds are probably sober.
12-year-olds
are
probably
sober
Most of them. Most of them. [applause]
Most
of
them
Most
of
them
applause
Now, thank you, Mark. Trump's
Now
thank
you
Mark
Trump's
unpopularity comes at a tough time uh
unpopularity
comes
at
a
tough
time
uh
for the rest of the GOP because it's
for
the
rest
of
the
GOP
because
it's
election night in America. Roll it.
election
night
in
America
Roll
it
>> Election night in America. Well, just in
>>
Election
night
in
America
Well
just
in
Tennessee and actually just a little
Tennessee
and
actually
just
a
little
sliver of it.
sliver
of
it
>> Am I done? Do you guys validate parking?
>>
Am
I
done
Do
you
guys
validate
parking
>> Lately, Republican congressmen have been
>>
Lately
Republican
congressmen
have
been
quitting in droves. And as a result, uh,
quitting
in
droves
And
as
a
result
uh
there is a special election today to
there
is
a
special
election
today
to
represent Tennessee's seventh district,
represent
Tennessee's
seventh
district
the fight in seventh. Now, this contest
the
fight
in
seventh
Now
this
contest
pits, uh, Trumpbacked Republican Matt
pits
uh
Trumpbacked
Republican
Matt
Van Eps against Democratic state rep and
Van
Eps
against
Democratic
state
rep
and
junior jumble clue Afton Bane.
junior
jumble
clue
Afton
Bane
And because this district includes
And
because
this
district
includes
portions of Nashville, you can't rule
portions
of
Nashville
you
can't
rule
out the dark horse candidate, pink
out
the
dark
horse
candidate
pink
cowboy boot a bachelorette threw up in.
cowboy
boot
a
bachelorette
threw
up
in
Back in 2024, Trump won the seventh by
Back
in
2024
Trump
won
the
seventh
by
22 points. But going into election
22
points
But
going
into
election
night, the most recent poll shows a
night
the
most
recent
poll
shows
a
statistical dead heat. Now, that's a bad
statistical
dead
heat
Now
that's
a
bad
sign for the House GOP majority, which
sign
for
the
House
GOP
majority
which
is so razor thin that Representative Tim
is
so
razor
thin
that
Representative
Tim
Burchett said at a rally last night,
Burchett
said
at
a
rally
last
night
"Folks, we are one flu season away from
Folks
we
are
one
flu
season
away
from
losing the majority."
losing
the
majority
[cheering]
cheering
Sir,
Sir
[applause]
applause
Congressman, our health secretary is RFK
Congressman
our
health
secretary
is
RFK
Jr., we are one flu season away from
Jr
we
are
one
flu
season
away
from
losing the species.
losing
the
species
This weekend, another House Republican
This
weekend
another
House
Republican
announced he won't be seeking
announced
he
won't
be
seeking
re-election. Texas Representative Troy
re-election
Texas
Representative
Troy
Nails, seen here saying, "Tell the
Nails
seen
here
saying
Tell
the
Batman my boys will be waiting for him."
Batman
my
boys
will
be
waiting
for
him
Nails isn't alone. Five other
Nails
isn't
alone
Five
other
Republicans from Texas have already
Republicans
from
Texas
have
already
announced they won't seek re-election in
announced
they
won't
seek
re-election
in
2026. [cheering] They are. That's a lot.
2026
cheering
They
are
That's
a
lot
Five just in Texas. So, that's six
Five
just
in
Texas
So
that's
six
including nails.
including
nails
>> [applause]
>>
applause
>> They're fleeing the GOP sinking ship,
>>
They're
fleeing
the
GOP
sinking
ship
which is smart because Hegath is about
which
is
smart
because
Hegath
is
about
to order a second strike on it.
to
order
a
second
strike
on
it
[applause and cheering]
applause
and
cheering
Nells is he's a Trump believer who voted
Nells
is
he's
a
Trump
believer
who
voted
to overturn the 2020 election and is a
to
overturn
the
2020
election
and
is
a
member of the anti-woke caucus, though
member
of
the
anti-woke
caucus
though
we all know who is the leader of the
we
all
know
who
is
the
leader
of
the
anti-woke caucus. We got a great show
anti-woke
caucus
We
got
a
great
show
for you tonight. [music] My guest is
for
you
tonight
music
My
guest
is
Rachel Maddo. We are back. The latest
Rachel
Maddo
We
are
back
The
latest
exciting news from Hollywood. Stick
exciting
news
from
Hollywood
Stick
around. [music]
around
music
[music]
music
[music]
music
Come on.
Come
on
>> [cheering]
>>
cheering
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