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i can't remember the last time i took a
i can't remember the last time i took a
bath
bath
it's probably been you know
it's probably been you know
three or four years since i've taken a
three or four years since i've taken a
bath or at least since i can remember
bath or at least since i can remember
taking a bath i'm naked and i'm
taking a bath i'm naked and i'm
genuinely terrified that there's some
genuinely terrified that there's some
way that you can see my naked body right
way that you can see my naked body right
now
now
like i'm scared that there's like a
like i'm scared that there's like a
reflection somewhere that i'm unaware of
reflection somewhere that i'm unaware of
but what are you gonna do i'm in the
but what are you gonna do i'm in the
bathtub because
bathtub because
in two days
in two days
i'm about to go to
i'm about to go to
the most
the most
terrifying but exciting event
terrifying but exciting event
that i've ever been to in two days i'm
that i've ever been to in two days i'm
going to my first
going to my first
met gala which is just
met gala which is just
unfathomable for me ever since i became
unfathomable for me ever since i became
aware of what the met gala was it's been
aware of what the met gala was it's been
one of those things that
one of those things that
was so fascinating to me the mecca to me
was so fascinating to me the mecca to me
has always seemed like something that
has always seemed like something that
was completely unattainable for me like
was completely unattainable for me like
in no universe did i ever
in no universe did i ever
um
um
the Met never even remotely crossed
the Met never even remotely crossed
my mind as a possibility
my mind as a possibility
ever i'm going in two days but i do not
ever i'm going in two days but i do not
believe it i'm completely in denial i
believe it i'm completely in denial i
don't even know what i'm supposed to be
don't even know what i'm supposed to be
feeling i'm not nervous it's more just
feeling i'm not nervous it's more just
like fear of the unknown
like fear of the unknown
but i'm not nervous about it
but i'm not nervous about it
i had no idea how
i had no idea how
much [ __ ] i would have to get done
much  __  i would have to get done
fittings you know meetings like all this
fittings you know meetings like all this
[ __ ] like it's crazy it's crazy and i
__  like it's crazy it's crazy and i
still have not
still have not
fully
fully
comprehended the fact that i'm going to
comprehended the fact that i'm going to
this event i've been running around so
this event i've been running around so
much you know doing last-minute stuff to
much you know doing last-minute stuff to
prepare that like my entire body
prepare that like my entire body
just hurts which is why i'm in the tub i
just hurts which is why i'm in the tub i
just had my final fitting
just had my final fitting
tonight where
tonight where
i
i
tried on my dress for the last time
tried on my dress for the last time
before i'm going to wear it at the event
before i'm going to wear it at the event
and
and
i'm obsessed with it i just literally
i'm obsessed with it i just literally
don't even know what to think or what to
don't even know what to think or what to
say
say
about this it just doesn't feel like a
about this it just doesn't feel like a
real thing that's gonna happen to me my
real thing that's gonna happen to me my
brain is a literal
brain is a literal
of mashed potatoes right now like my
of mashed potatoes right now like my
brain is
brain is
literally oatmeal right now if you were
literally oatmeal right now if you were
to cut open my head right now you would
to cut open my head right now you would
find
find
baby food being somebody who struggles
baby food being somebody who struggles
with anxiety i'm
with anxiety i'm
very frightened by the fact that i don't
very frightened by the fact that i don't
have anxiety about going to the met gala
have anxiety about going to the met gala
that makes no sense i almost feel like
that makes no sense i almost feel like
there's something wrong with me because
there's something wrong with me because
i'm not panicking about it it's bizarre
i'm not panicking about it it's bizarre
the plot twist of the whole thing is
the plot twist of the whole thing is
that i'm going to the event of course
that i'm going to the event of course
but i'm also
but i'm also
interviewing other guests
interviewing other guests
for youtube and vogue while i'm there i
for youtube and vogue while i'm there i
feel like that should make me really
feel like that should make me really
scared but for some reason i'm not
scared but for some reason i'm not
why am i not nervous i almost just
why am i not nervous i almost just
literally
literally
ate [ __ ] in the bathtub throughout my
ate  __  in the bathtub throughout my
experience being on the internet and
experience being on the internet and
doing the whole thing there's been so
doing the whole thing there's been so
many parts of it that i just can't
many parts of it that i just can't
comprehend and like this is obviously
comprehend and like this is obviously
one of them but even just you know the
one of them but even just you know the
entire concept of my
entire concept of my
life sometimes i struggle to comprehend
life sometimes i struggle to comprehend
and i think that my brain instead of
and i think that my brain instead of
trying to comprehend it just turns a
trying to comprehend it just turns a
little numb
little numb
and i think that that's what's happening
and i think that that's what's happening
right now can you tell how [ __ ] tired
right now can you tell how  __  tired
i am looking to me in my eyes right now
i am looking to me in my eyes right now
tell me i'm not tired
tell me i'm not tired
the reason why i'm tired is because i'm
the reason why i'm tired is because i'm
jet lagged
jet lagged
because i was in paris and then i came
because i was in paris and then i came
here and i'm sleep deprived and jet
here and i'm sleep deprived and jet
lagged
lagged
and confused and i haven't known what
and confused and i haven't known what
day of the week it was for the past week
day of the week it was for the past week
i could not tell you i could not tell
i could not tell you i could not tell
you i think it's saturday right now
you i think it's saturday right now
people are probably out on the town
people are probably out on the town
town right now
town right now
celebrating the weekend
celebrating the weekend
but here's me in the bathtub because i
but here's me in the bathtub because i
don't even know what day of the week it
don't even know what day of the week it
is life is a highway
is life is a highway
and i'm going to ride it
and i'm going to ride it
all night long
all night long
all right i'm getting out of the bath
all right i'm getting out of the bath
now
now
[Music]
Music
[Music]
Music
so
so
[Music]
Music
i can't sleep as i said earlier i'm not
i can't sleep as i said earlier i'm not
nervous
nervous
but
but
i'm just excited
i'm just excited
tomorrow's going to be an extremely busy
tomorrow's going to be an extremely busy
day and like i am going to be going from
day and like i am going to be going from
7 a.m
7 am
to like 10 p.m and i'm starting to get
to like 10 pm and i'm starting to get
freaked out right because it's like okay
freaked out right because it's like okay
it is one in the morning
it is one in the morning
i'm not sleeping yet
i'm not sleeping yet
[ __ ] i mean i'll be fine that's
__  i mean i'll be fine that's
literally what coffee is for
literally what coffee is for
also i keep talking with my hands
also i keep talking with my hands
because i got my nails done they're also
because i got my nails done they're also
extremely long let's talk about that for
extremely long let's talk about that for
a second i
a second i
can't do anything with these
can't do anything with these
i have no idea how i'm gonna wipe my ass
i have no idea how i'm gonna wipe my ass
genuinely and i actually have to pee a
genuinely and i actually have to pee a
little bit so i'm gonna go pee and i'm
little bit so i'm gonna go pee and i'm
gonna wipe my ass and i'm gonna come
gonna wipe my ass and i'm gonna come
back and i'm gonna tell you how it goes
back and i'm gonna tell you how it goes
okay it was actually completely fine
okay it was actually completely fine
somehow me peeing just now was like the
somehow me peeing just now was like the
easiest thing i've done since i've
easiest thing i've done since i've
gotten these nails done tomorrow's the
gotten these nails done tomorrow's the
[ __ ] day you guys like we're doing it
__  day you guys like we're doing it
there's no backing out now we're in it
there's no backing out now we're in it
we're in it to win it i think the
we're in it to win it i think the
biggest thing is that i'm i'm definitely
biggest thing is that i'm i'm definitely
kind of emotionally exhausted right
kind of emotionally exhausted right
because it's kind of all i've been
because it's kind of all i've been
thinking about even though i'm very
thinking about even though i'm very
excited about it and there's like no
excited about it and there's like no
negative feelings about it whatsoever
negative feelings about it whatsoever
it's still like
it's still like
weirdly emotionally exhausting to be
weirdly emotionally exhausting to be
like so hyper fixated on like one event
like so hyper fixated on like one event
it takes a lot of energy to like fixate
it takes a lot of energy to like fixate
on something that hard everything that
on something that hard everything that
i've been doing every day
i've been doing every day
has revolved around tomorrow
has revolved around tomorrow
i'm honestly setting my alarm for 6 30
i'm honestly setting my alarm for 6 30
so that i can have a nice morning to
so that i can have a nice morning to
myself that's like relaxing and
myself that's like relaxing and
relatively meditative will i wake up at
relatively meditative will i wake up at
6 30.
6 30
thank you for calling room service by
thank you for calling room service by
john george at the mark we are currently
john george at the mark we are currently
assisting other guests please stay on
assisting other guests please stay on
the line and someone will be with you
the line and someone will be with you
shortly
shortly
thank you for calling room service by
thank you for calling room service by
john so we're not ordering coffee this
john so we're not ordering coffee this
morning so i thought i was gonna like
morning so i thought i was gonna like
wake up early this morning and do a
wake up early this morning and do a
whole thing wake up at like 6 a.m get
whole thing wake up at like 6 am get
out of bed wash my face go get coffee
out of bed wash my face go get coffee
you know walk around the city [ __ ] no
you know walk around the city  __  no
none of that happened uh i need a coffee
none of that happened uh i need a coffee
now
now
right now
right now
yes thank you
yes thank you
thank you
thank you
this is [ __ ] embarrassing
this is  __  embarrassing
[Music]
Music
getting married this is literally my
getting married this is literally my
marriage
marriage
i'm marrying myself tonight
i'm marrying myself tonight
[Music]
Music
that's [ __ ] crazy
that's  __  crazy
that i don't even feel
that i don't even feel
[Music]
Music
i feel sick okay i think we should start
i feel sick okay i think we should start
to then yes
to then yes
[Music]
Music
[Music]
Music
look
look
but they took one of her leaning note
but they took one of her leaning note
this she was like leaning dances, and
this she was like leaning dances and
vogue took it and like they look at look
vogue took it and like they look at look
at that mask
at that mask
oh my god we have to see the one
oh my god we have to see the one
i'm wearing pjs for the after party
i'm wearing pjs for the after party
[Music]
Music
- Pause

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