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Hello. Hello.
Hi. How are you doing? Hi. How are you doing?
I'm good. I'm good.
How are you? How are you?
Good. Good.
Good. Good.
Louis. Louis.
Louis Theroux. Louis Theroux.
You know the phrase. You know the phrase.
“You should never meet your heroes”? “You should never meet your heroes”?
Yes, I do. Yes, I do.
Just wondering, like, how do you... Just wondering
Just wondering
X
, like, how do you...
how do you feel? how do you feel?
It’s nice to be here. It’s nice to be here.
I've been... I haven't seen all of your output, I've been... I haven't seen all of your output
output
X
,
but I've seen one of them. but I've seen one of them.
And I liked it. And I liked it.
With Ed Sheeran. With Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran
X
.
He’s got a great voice. He’s got a great voice.
He puts out a lot of music. He puts out
puts out
X
a lot of music.
He does. Too much would you say? He does. Too much would you say?
It feels a bit harsh, doesn't it? It feels a bit harsh
harsh
X
, doesn't it?
I mean, maybe. I mean, maybe.
I'd like to hear what Ed Sheeran sounded like I'd like to hear what Ed Sheeran
Ed Sheeran
X
sounded like
if he put out less music. if he put out less music.
Oh, nuggets. Chicken nuggets. Oh, nuggets. Chicken nuggets
Chicken nuggets
X
.
It's not quite what I was hoping for. It's not quite what I was hoping for
It's not quite what I was hoping for
X
.
What do you? What would you want? What do you? What would you want?
Well, I mean, I'm looking at the menu. Well, I mean, I'm looking at the menu.
Like... maybe five grilled thighs with two rice. Like... maybe five grilled thighs
grilled thighs
X
with two rice.
No. No.
So are you single at the moment? So are you single at the moment
are you single at the moment
X
?
How did you know? How did you know?
I suppose you wouldn't be on a date otherwise. I suppose
suppose
X
you wouldn't be on a date otherwise
otherwise
X
.
Do I give off like single energy? Do I give off
give off
X
like single energy
single energy
X
?
No. No.
Okay. Okay.
I don't even know what that would be. I don't even know what that would be.
Just fun. Just fun.
Available energy. Available
Available
X
energy.
Too much eye contact. Too much eye contact
eye contact
X
.
Can you do an American accent? Can you do an American accent?
I sure can. I sure can.
Can you? Can you?
Oh, yes, I can. Oh, yes, I can.
I'll drink to that. I'll drink to that.
Woo. Woo
Woo
X
.
Got some hooch? Got some hooch
hooch
X
?
And I got a honky tonk woman right here with me. And I got a honky tonk woman
honky tonk woman
X
right here with me.
Is that an insult? Is that an insult
insult
X
?
Kind of. Kind of
Kind of
X
.
Did we not get any dip in? Did we not get any dip
dip
X
in?
Oh yeah, sorry. You’re very demanding. Oh yeah, sorry. You’re very demanding
demanding
X
.
Right that... that counts as demanding? Right that... that counts as demanding
demanding
X
?
Sorry, this ketchup bottle is very interesting. Sorry, this ketchup bottle is very interesting.
Quite big. Quite big.
It's quite big, yeah. It's quite big, yeah.
It’s very big. It’s very big.
I was going to say, I was going to say,
I like my sauces, I like my sauces,
like I like my women... like I like my women...
Big? Big?
Spicy. Spicy
Spicy
X
.
Oh, okay. Oh, okay.
And big. And big.
Do you like music? Do you like music?
I love music. I love music
I love music
X
.
Gosh, did I just say that? Gosh
Gosh
X
, did I just say that?
You love music. You love music.
Is this date going well? Is this date going well
going well
X
?
Yes. Yes.
I do like music a lot. I do like music a lot.
I love all kinds of music, I love all kinds of music,
um... as long as it's groovy. um... as long as it's groovy
groovy
X
.
Okay. But I know you can rap. Okay. But I know you can rap.
That's nice of you to say. That's nice of you to say.
Well, I mean, I know you have rapped. Well, I mean, I know you have rapped.
Sorry. Sorry.
I have rapped in a programme I did, I have rapped in a programme I did,
a Weird Weekends episode about rap. a Weird Weekends episode about rap.
Can you remember any of the rap that you did? Can you remember any of the rap that you did?
My money don't jiggle jiggle, it folds. My money don't jiggle
jiggle
X
jiggle
jiggle
X
, it folds
it folds
X
.
I’d like to see you wiggle, wiggle, for sure. I’d like to see you wiggle
wiggle
X
, wiggle
wiggle
X
, for sure.
It makes me want to dribble, dribble, It makes me want to dribble
dribble
X
, dribble
dribble
X
,
you know, you know,
riding in my fiat, riding in my fiat
fiat
X
,
you really have to see it. you really have to see it.
Six feet two in a compact, no slack. Six feet two in a compact, no slack
no slack
X
.
But luckily, the seats go back, But luckily, the seats go back,
I got a knack to relax in my mind, I got a knack
a knack
X
to relax in my mind,
I’m sipping some red, red wine. I’m sipping
sipping
X
some red, red wine
red wine
X
.
Nice. Nice.
If your friends were to give you an award, If your friends were to give you an award,
what would the award be for? what would the award be for?
That's a good question. That's a good question.
And it couldn't be like And it couldn't be like
They might give me an award for... They might give me an award for...
Yeah, bringing the best vegetarian lasagne Yeah, bringing the best vegetarian lasagne
or bringing the best... um... melanzane parmigiana or bringing the best... um... melanzane parmigiana
Okay. Okay.
Do you like chips? Do you like chips?
I do. I do.
Do you like small talk? Do you like small talk
small talk
X
?
Yeah. Yeah.
Are you good at it? Are you good at it?
Do you prefer asking “why” or “how”? Do you prefer asking “why” or “how”?
That's actually a pretty good question That's actually a pretty good question
and the answer is ... um ... “Why?”. and the answer is ... um ... “Why?”.
Because “how?” is is like a practical question. Because “how?” is is like a practical question.
But “why?” is a question about motivation. But “why?” is a question about motivation.
Mmm. It's like the question, Mmm. It's like the question,
“how did you kill that person?” “how did you kill that person?”
“Well, I strangled him.” “Well, I strangled
strangled
X
him.”
Fine. Fine.
Sort of interesting. Sort of interesting.
But, “why did you kill him?” But, “why did you kill him?”
That's going to take you somewhere, That's going to take you somewhere,
I'd say more interesting. I'd say more interesting.
How many murderers have you met? How many murderers have you met?
Well, I don't know, because Well, I don't know, because
people don't always tell you. people don't always tell you.
Oh. Oh.
Okay. Okay.
Who’s the most evil person you've met? Who’s the most evil person you've met?
Well, I could give you a real answer to that. Well, I could give you a real answer to that.
But it might change the mood. But it might change the mood
change the mood
X
.
How would you feel about someone making a documentary about you? How would you feel about someone making a documentary
documentary
X
about you?
I would be... I would be...
I'd have to think about it carefully, right? I'd have to think about it carefully, right?
I wouldn't rule it out. I wouldn't rule it out
rule it out
X
.
Would it be hypocritical? Would it be hypocritical
hypocritical
X
?
I sometimes feel like if I said “no”, it's like, “what?" I sometimes feel like if I said “no”, it's like, “what?"
"You can dish it out, but you can't take it?” "You can dish it out, but you can't take it?”
That's what I thought. That's what I thought.
It's a “not right now”. It's a “not right now”.
Maybe when you've passed away. Maybe when you've passed away
passed away
X
.
Maybe. Maybe.
Is that gonna happen soon? Is that gonna happen soon?
There will be. There will be.
No, it wouldn’t be happening soon. No, it wouldn’t be happening soon.
Don’t worry. Don’t worry.
Is that a threat? Is that a threat
threat
X
?
You know, um, that question where people say You know, um, that question where people say
“if you could have five people around for dinner, “if you could have five people around for dinner,
dead or alive”, dead or alive”,
Yeah. Yeah.
People choose you a lot of the time. People choose you a lot of the time.
But do you want to go? But do you want to go?
And do they choose me dead or alive? And do they choose me dead or alive?
What do you do if you mind goes blank in an interview? What do you do if you mind goes blank in an interview?
Am I giving you professional tips? Am I giving you professional tips?

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