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Hello, Thing.
Hello
Thing
Did you really think my highly-trained olfactory sense
Did
you
really
think
my
highly-trained
olfactory
sense
wouldn't pick up on the faint whiff of neroli and bergamot
wouldn't
pick
up
on
the
faint
whiff
of
neroli
and
bergamot
in your favorite hand lotion?
in
your
favorite
hand
lotion
I could do this all day.
I
could
do
this
all
day
Surrender?
Surrender
Mother and Father sent you to spy on me, didn't they?
Mother
and
Father
sent
you
to
spy
on
me
didn't
they
I'm not above breaking a few fingers.
I'm
not
above
breaking
a
few
fingers
The fact they thought I wouldn't find out just
The
fact
they
thought
I
wouldn't
find
out
just
proves how much they underestimate me.
proves
how
much
they
underestimate
me
Oh, Thing.
Oh
Thing
You poor, naive appendage.
You
poor
naive
appendage
My parents aren't worried about me.
My
parents
aren't
worried
about
me
They're evil puppeteers who wanna pull my strings, even from afar.
They're
evil
puppeteers
who
wanna
pull
my
strings
even
from
afar
The way I see it, you have two options.
The
way
I
see
it
you
have
two
options
Option one,
Option
one
I lock you in here for the rest of the semester
I
lock
you
in
here
for
the
rest
of
the
semester
and you go slowly insane trying to claw your way out,
and
you
go
slowly
insane
trying
to
claw
your
way
out
ruining your nails and your smooth, supple skin.
ruining
your
nails
and
your
smooth
supple
skin
And we both know how vain you are.
And
we
both
know
how
vain
you
are
Option two,
Option
two
you pledge your undying loyalty to me.
you
pledge
your
undying
loyalty
to
me
Our first order of business is to escape this teenage purgatory.
Our
first
order
of
business
is
to
escape
this
teenage
purgatory
Of course I have a plan.
Of
course
I
have
a
plan
And it begins now.
And
it
begins
now
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