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For the second time in two weeks, another American has been tragically killed on the streets of Minneapolis.
For
the
second
time
in
two
weeks
another
American
has
been
tragically
killed
on
the
streets
of
Minneapolis
Now, obviously, all the facts are not in yet, but here is, as best we can tell,
Now
obviously
all
the
facts
are
not
in
yet
but
here
is
as
best
we
can
tell
the account of what happened on this terrible day. This individual who came with weapons
the
account
of
what
happened
on
this
terrible
day
This
individual
who
came
with
weapons
and ammunition to stop a law enforcement operation of federal law enforcement officers.
and
ammunition
to
stop
a
law
enforcement
operation
of
federal
law
enforcement
officers
Oh. The agents attempted to disarm the individual, but he violently resisted.
Oh
The
agents
attempted
to
disarm
the
individual
but
he
violently
resisted
Oh, dear God. They must have been petrified. This individual attacked those officers,
Oh
dear
God
They
must
have
been
petrified
This
individual
attacked
those
officers
wishing to inflict harm on these officers coming brandishing like that. Fearing for his life and the lives and
wishing
to
inflict
harm
on
these
officers
coming
brandishing
like
that
Fearing
for
his
life
and
the
lives
and
safety of fellow officers, a board patrol agent fired defensive shots.
safety
of
fellow
officers
a
board
patrol
agent
fired
defensive
shots
Of course, they're defensive. I mean, he had to stand his ground. This looks like a situation where an individual wanted
Of
course
they're
defensive
I
mean
he
had
to
stand
his
ground
This
looks
like
a
situation
where
an
individual
wanted
to do maximum damage and massacre law enforcement. Committed an act of domestic terrorism.
to
do
maximum
damage
and
massacre
law
enforcement
Committed
an
act
of
domestic
terrorism
That's the facts. Whoa. Committed an act of domestic terrorism.
That's
the
facts
Whoa
Committed
an
act
of
domestic
terrorism
That's the second worst kind of terrorism.
That's
the
second
worst
kind
of
terrorism
But hey, those are the facts. That's the facts. There's really no
But
hey
those
are
the
facts
That's
the
facts
There's
really
no
reason to doubt them. No evidence exists to contradict.
reason
to
doubt
them
No
evidence
exists
to
contradict
Hold on. I'm getting a Oh, really?
Hold
on
I'm
getting
a
Oh
really
I'm hearing there may be some grainy Zapruder like footage from I don't know
I'm
hearing
there
may
be
some
grainy
Zapruder
like
footage
from
I
don't
know
every angle imaginable that contradicts the government's versions of events. Videos of the
every
angle
imaginable
that
contradicts
the
government's
versions
of
events
Videos
of
the
shooting of Alex Prey have contradicted the government's account of what happened. All he has in his hand is a cell phone,
shooting
of
Alex
Prey
have
contradicted
the
government's
account
of
what
happened
All
he
has
in
his
hand
is
a
cell
phone
not a gun. He's trying to help a woman who's just been pushed to the ground and pepper- sprrayed. He's trying to go help her
not
a
gun
He's
trying
to
help
a
woman
who's
just
been
pushed
to
the
ground
and
pepper
sprrayed
He's
trying
to
go
help
her
with his hands up. They engage him and they're dragging him back. The videos also appear to show PR's
with
his
hands
up
They
engage
him
and
they're
dragging
him
back
The
videos
also
appear
to
show
PR's
legal registered firearm being removed from his person by an officer just
legal
registered
firearm
being
removed
from
his
person
by
an
officer
just
seconds before those shots were fired. Wow. Well, it looks like we've got a real case of he said video totally
seconds
before
those
shots
were
fired
Wow
Well
it
looks
like
we've
got
a
real
case
of
he
said
video
totally
disproves what he said. You know, this is also confusing.
disproves
what
he
said
You
know
this
is
also
confusing
Perhaps to help get some more clarity on what's going on, we go live to Minneapolis where our own Jordan Clapper
Perhaps
to
help
get
some
more
clarity
on
what's
going
on
we
go
live
to
Minneapolis
where
our
own
Jordan
Clapper
has been standing outside in the cold. Jordan, thank you so much for joining
has
been
standing
outside
in
the
cold
Jordan
thank
you
so
much
for
joining
us. Uh what's what's the latest that you're hearing, John? DHS has finally completed their
us
Uh
what's
what's
the
latest
that
you're
hearing
John
DHS
has
finally
completed
their
analysis and now has a definitive account of what happened. Let me let me take you through it step by step because
analysis
and
now
has
a
definitive
account
of
what
happened
Let
me
let
me
take
you
through
it
step
by
step
because
it it paints a more complete picture. This all took place in an area where illicit activity by illegal immigrants
it
it
paints
a
more
complete
picture
This
all
took
place
in
an
area
where
illicit
activity
by
illegal
immigrants
was occurring and terrible stuff. Pedalling drugs, selling knockoff laboo,
was
occurring
and
terrible
stuff
Pedalling
drugs
selling
knockoff
laboo
showing football games without the express written consent of the NFL, you know, heinous [Â __Â ] Now, shortly
showing
football
games
without
the
express
written
consent
of
the
NFL
you
know
heinous
 __Â
Now
shortly
after protesters arrived at the scene to create a barricade, that's when, as you can see here, the ICE agents arrived.
after
protesters
arrived
at
the
scene
to
create
a
barricade
that's
when
as
you
can
see
here
the
ICE
agents
arrived
I see. And I'm I'm sorry. You're
I
see
And
I'm
I'm
sorry
You're
you're telling me that according to DHS, those are the the ICE agents. Yes.
you're
telling
me
that
according
to
DHS
those
are
the
the
ICE
agents
Yes
And contrary to all the mainstream media spin, all these ICE agents want to do is keep America safe and occasionally lick
And
contrary
to
all
the
mainstream
media
spin
all
these
ICE
agents
want
to
do
is
keep
America
safe
and
occasionally
lick
their own puckered buttholes. But before they could do their job, a gang of
their
own
puckered
buttholes
But
before
they
could
do
their
job
a
gang
of
Sorosf funed protesters arrived on the scene. As you can see, these guys these
Sorosf
funed
protesters
arrived
on
the
scene
As
you
can
see
these
guys
these
guys were packing heat, posing an imminent threat with their girthy leftist dogs.
guys
were
packing
heat
posing
an
imminent
threat
with
their
girthy
leftist
dogs
I I this this is the DHS account. I mean,
I
I
this
this
is
the
DHS
account
I
mean
it's first of all, it's Minnesota. It's winter. You would think they'd be wearing clothes. No.
it's
first
of
all
it's
Minnesota
It's
winter
You
would
think
they'd
be
wearing
clothes
No
Don't be naive, John. If you got it, you flaunt it. But this is the moment when the armed
Don't
be
naive
John
If
you
got
it
you
flaunt
it
But
this
is
the
moment
when
the
armed
suspect finally appeared and [Â __Â ] got real.
suspect
finally
appeared
and
 __Â
got
real
Pow pow. Pew pew. Meow. Meow. H. John. As you can see, the suspect left them no
Pow
pow
Pew
pew
Meow
Meow
H
John
As
you
can
see
the
suspect
left
them
no
choice. Look, I don't even know where to begin. That that doesn't this scene doesn't match any of the video that that we've
choice
Look
I
don't
even
know
where
to
begin
That
that
doesn't
this
scene
doesn't
match
any
of
the
video
that
that
we've
seen. And and that's clearly Doc O from Spider-Man. That's Doc O.
seen
And
and
that's
clearly
Doc
O
from
Spider-Man
That's
Doc
O
John. John, I can see this isn't resonating with you. And and luckily DHS is not married to this version. Here's
John
John
I
can
see
this
isn't
resonating
with
you
And
and
luckily
DHS
is
not
married
to
this
version
Here's
here's another one they're pitching. What What if I told you the ICE agents
here's
another
one
they're
pitching
What
What
if
I
told
you
the
ICE
agents
just do this on the side and they're actually all K-pop stars? Well, not that that's just the plot of
just
do
this
on
the
side
and
they're
actually
all
K-pop
stars
Well
not
that
that's
just
the
plot
of
K-pop demon hunters. That's You didn't let me finish. And they're all gay hockey players.
K-pop
demon
hunters
That's
You
didn't
let
me
finish
And
they're
all
gay
hockey
players
The ice agents. Everybody just That last one's intriguing. Jordan Clipper, everybody.
The
ice
agents
Everybody
just
That
last
one's
intriguing
Jordan
Clipper
everybody
Thank you, Jordan. Um,
Thank
you
Jordan
Um
so I think the lowest bar that a government
so
I
think
the
lowest
bar
that
a
government
ever has to clear in terms of earned credibility to its population is obvious
ever
has
to
clear
in
terms
of
earned
credibility
to
its
population
is
obvious
reality. You just got to clear obvious reality. I believe it's what the political philosopher Senica referred to
reality
You
just
got
to
clear
obvious
reality
I
believe
it's
what
the
political
philosopher
Senica
referred
to
as the don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining doctrine. But watch Border Patrol commander in
as
the
don't
piss
on
my
leg
and
tell
me
it's
raining
doctrine
But
watch
Border
Patrol
commander
in
short, Greg Bevino, who by the way appears to be just the
short
Greg
Bevino
who
by
the
way
appears
to
be
just
the
new character the Trump cinematic universe has introduced. Where the did this guy even come from?
new
character
the
Trump
cinematic
universe
has
introduced
Where
the
did
this
guy
even
come
from
It's his first season on the show. Anyway, this guy Bino very clearly stated that
It's
his
first
season
on
the
show
Anyway
this
guy
Bino
very
clearly
stated
that
the guy they killed was a terrorist attempting a massacre. I'm sure that
the
guy
they
killed
was
a
terrorist
attempting
a
massacre
I'm
sure
that
version of events will be able to withstand even oneing follow-up question at the presser questions.
version
of
events
will
be
able
to
withstand
even
oneing
follow-up
question
at
the
presser
questions
First question, um, when did agents learn that he had a gun? Did he ever brandish that weapon? Uh, the agents
First
question
um
when
did
agents
learn
that
he
had
a
gun
Did
he
ever
brandish
that
weapon
Uh
the
agents
Ally, this this situation again is invol uh evolving. Uh, this this situation is
Ally
this
this
situation
again
is
invol
uh
evolving
Uh
this
this
situation
is
under investigation. Oh, now it's an investig. Oh, the investigation is evolving. I thought evolution was a generational thing. Not
under
investigation
Oh
now
it's
an
investig
Oh
the
investigation
is
evolving
I
thought
evolution
was
a
generational
thing
Not
3 seconds after you confuse you accuse a guy of terrorism. And by the way, here's what they said at the presser after just
3
seconds
after
you
confuse
you
accuse
a
guy
of
terrorism
And
by
the
way
here's
what
they
said
at
the
presser
after
just
the second question. All right, no more questions. Sorry. No more questions, sir.
the
second
question
All
right
no
more
questions
Sorry
No
more
questions
sir
I'm ready to take your questions to no more questions. And two questions. And it's too bad because I happen to
I'm
ready
to
take
your
questions
to
no
more
questions
And
two
questions
And
it's
too
bad
because
I
happen
to
have a lot of questions. Like, who's going to investigate this horrific killing by the Department of Homeland
have
a
lot
of
questions
Like
who's
going
to
investigate
this
horrific
killing
by
the
Department
of
Homeland
Security that the Department of Homeland Security has clearly misrepresented? The Department of Homeland Security says
Security
that
the
Department
of
Homeland
Security
has
clearly
misrepresented
The
Department
of
Homeland
Security
says
they'll investigate the shooting.
they'll
investigate
the
shooting
Oh, good luck finding the real killer, OJ.
Oh
good
luck
finding
the
real
killer
OJ
We're rooting for you. And pardon me for not trusting that the administration is going to do a fair and
We're
rooting
for
you
And
pardon
me
for
not
trusting
that
the
administration
is
going
to
do
a
fair
and
free investigation when they are already going out on TV moving the goalposts on
free
investigation
when
they
are
already
going
out
on
TV
moving
the
goalposts
on
why the shooting was justified. Whether he was brandishing the weapon or not, he was not protesting peacefully. He was
why
the
shooting
was
justified
Whether
he
was
brandishing
the
weapon
or
not
he
was
not
protesting
peacefully
He
was
screaming in the face of ICE. He had a phone up right to the the right into ISIS's face. I mean, we all see the same
screaming
in
the
face
of
ICE
He
had
a
phone
up
right
to
the
the
right
into
ISIS's
face
I
mean
we
all
see
the
same
thing. I mean, you shouldn't try to gaslight the administration about what happened.
thing
I
mean
you
shouldn't
try
to
gaslight
the
administration
about
what
happened
Somebody's on therapy talk. I'm We're gaslighting you. You gaslight
Somebody's
on
therapy
talk
I'm
We're
gaslighting
you
You
gaslight
No, I'm gas. You gaslighting me? Are you gaslighting me? A little bit. Little
No
I'm
gas
You
gaslighting
me
Are
you
gaslighting
me
A
little
bit
Little
bit. We're gaslighting you. What the? By the way,
bit
We're
gaslighting
you
What
the
By
the
way
we're gaslighting you. Speaking of gaslighting, here is Todd Blanch a day after accusing all of us of gaslighting
we're
gaslighting
you
Speaking
of
gaslighting
here
is
Todd
Blanch
a
day
after
accusing
all
of
us
of
gaslighting
the administration about what happened. I don't think anybody thinks that they were comparing what happened on Saturday
the
administration
about
what
happened
I
don't
think
anybody
thinks
that
they
were
comparing
what
happened
on
Saturday
to the legal definition of domestic terrorism. Oh, you don't think anybody's doing that? Well, they were certainly
to
the
legal
definition
of
domestic
terrorism
Oh
you
don't
think
anybody's
doing
that
Well
they
were
certainly
insinuating it. I mean, it might be hard to find someone explicitly using those exact words, but uh we found it.
insinuating
it
I
mean
it
might
be
hard
to
find
someone
explicitly
using
those
exact
words
but
uh
we
found
it
violence against a government because of ideological reasons and for reasons to resist and perpetuate violence. That is
violence
against
a
government
because
of
ideological
reasons
and
for
reasons
to
resist
and
perpetuate
violence
That
is
the definition of domestic terrorism. I mean,
the
definition
of
domestic
terrorism
I
mean
we're gas. I think that actually might be the definition of gaslighting.
we're
gas
I
think
that
actually
might
be
the
definition
of
gaslighting
Look, the administration realized pretty quickly that the public is not buying their description.
Look
the
administration
realized
pretty
quickly
that
the
public
is
not
buying
their
description
So, they had to make a choice. come clean and commit yourself to finding the
So
they
had
to
make
a
choice
come
clean
and
commit
yourself
to
finding
the
truth. No matter where it may lead or just redefine who the victims of this
truth
No
matter
where
it
may
lead
or
just
redefine
who
the
victims
of
this
tragedy really were. The victim are the border patrol agents. I think when it comes to the ICE agents,
tragedy
really
were
The
victim
are
the
border
patrol
agents
I
think
when
it
comes
to
the
ICE
agents
I think you see uh the incredible frustration that they feel. You know, someone screaming in your face, "F you.
I
think
you
see
uh
the
incredible
frustration
that
they
feel
You
know
someone
screaming
in
your
face
F
you
You suck. Get out of here." That's tough to take for an 8-hour day.
You
suck
Get
out
of
here
That's
tough
to
take
for
an
8-hour
day
Now look what you've done.
Now
look
what
you've
done
People screaming you eight hours a day is basically every customer service job in this country.
People
screaming
you
eight
hours
a
day
is
basically
every
customer
service
job
in
this
country
That's all it is. And the national pastime of Staten
That's
all
it
is
And
the
national
pastime
of
Staten
Island. You're telling me trained and armed ICE agents can't handle what the average
Island
You're
telling
me
trained
and
armed
ICE
agents
can't
handle
what
the
average
Geek Squad member at Best Buy has to? I told you I didn't spill any [Â __Â ]
Geek
Squad
member
at
Best
Buy
has
to
I
told
you
I
didn't
spill
any
 __
coffee on it. Just fix it.
coffee
on
it
Just
fix
it
I was upset. I'm sorry, Greg Bino. You've got more to say. Politicians, community leaders, and
I
was
upset
I'm
sorry
Greg
Bino
You've
got
more
to
say
Politicians
community
leaders
and
some journalists engage in that heated rhetoric calling law enforcement names like Gestapo.
some
journalists
engage
in
that
heated
rhetoric
calling
law
enforcement
names
like
Gestapo
I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm
sorry
Oh
I'm
sorry
Could you Could you pronounce that again? You went full Gustapo.
Could
you
Could
you
pronounce
that
again
You
went
full
Gustapo
Gestapo. Gustapo. Gustapo. I thought you guys hate when people do that. The way a Latino newscaster might
Gestapo
Gustapo
Gustapo
I
thought
you
guys
hate
when
people
do
that
The
way
a
Latino
newscaster
might
throw out a a Maduro, a Nicholas Maduro, but you're out there full Gustapo.
throw
out
a
a
Maduro
a
Nicholas
Maduro
but
you're
out
there
full
Gustapo
Like you're an extra in Jojo Rabbit. Gustapo. I'm Gestapo.
Like
you're
an
extra
in
Jojo
Rabbit
Gustapo
I'm
Gestapo
In America, we pronounce it Gestap. And I get that people's language can be
In
America
we
pronounce
it
Gestap
And
I
get
that
people's
language
can
be
hyperbolic certainly. But one thing that may not be helping your case, uh, Sergeant Bevino or whatever, can I can
hyperbolic
certainly
But
one
thing
that
may
not
be
helping
your
case
uh
Sergeant
Bevino
or
whatever
can
I
can
we get a quick fit check on this mother? You know, first of all, it is slightly terrifying
we
get
a
quick
fit
check
on
this
mother
You
know
first
of
all
it
is
slightly
terrifying
to Americans that you seem to be dressing for the job you want.
to
Americans
that
you
seem
to
be
dressing
for
the
job
you
want
So, if I can say, if you love the Gestapo coat, you may want to change the
So
if
I
can
say
if
you
love
the
Gestapo
coat
you
may
want
to
change
the
Gestapo hair because together it's reallyapo.
Gestapo
hair
because
together
it's
reallyapo
So, if you love the coat, keep the coat, but instead of the fashy, you might want to give yourself the garunk. changes
So
if
you
love
the
coat
keep
the
coat
but
instead
of
the
fashy
you
might
want
to
give
yourself
the
garunk
changes
everything.
everything
Or if you're really into the reverse Larry David, keep the hair, but maybe a slightly less threatening uniform.
Or
if
you're
really
into
the
reverse
Larry
David
keep
the
hair
but
maybe
a
slightly
less
threatening
uniform
That nice. Very nice.
That
nice
Very
nice
Very nice.
Very
nice
Nobody is buying your [Â __Â ] right now. We can't even You know what? We can't even get through a snowstorm without
Nobody
is
buying
your
 __Â
right
now
We
can't
even
You
know
what
We
can't
even
get
through
a
snowstorm
without
being reminded of how badly this is going for you. The biggest threat though continues to be and always really generally is is
being
reminded
of
how
badly
this
is
going
for
you
The
biggest
threat
though
continues
to
be
and
always
really
generally
is
is
ice. Ice still causing dangerous conditions. Ice creating some precious conditions on the roads and on the sidewalk.
ice
Ice
still
causing
dangerous
conditions
Ice
creating
some
precious
conditions
on
the
roads
and
on
the
sidewalk
There hasn't been an ice warning this severe in 12 years. When it comes to ice, all the bets are
There
hasn't
been
an
ice
warning
this
severe
in
12
years
When
it
comes
to
ice
all
the
bets
are
off. You need to just still be careful because ice can still be out there.
off
You
need
to
just
still
be
careful
because
ice
can
still
be
out
there
Just don't mention the storm might be the result of El Nino or it might get dragged out of the car in front of the
Just
don't
mention
the
storm
might
be
the
result
of
El
Nino
or
it
might
get
dragged
out
of
the
car
in
front
of
the
kids too soon. All right, fair enough.
kids
too
soon
All
right
fair
enough
But as all of the administration's descriptions of the events and reasoning behind the events fell apart, the right
But
as
all
of
the
administration's
descriptions
of
the
events
and
reasoning
behind
the
events
fell
apart
the
right
did seem to coalesce on one aspect of the incident. When you are bearing arms
did
seem
to
coalesce
on
one
aspect
of
the
incident
When
you
are
bearing
arms
and you are confronted by law enforcement, uh you are uh raising the
and
you
are
confronted
by
law
enforcement
uh
you
are
uh
raising
the
uh risk of of force being used against you. You cannot bring a firearm loaded with
uh
risk
of
of
force
being
used
against
you
You
cannot
bring
a
firearm
loaded
with
multiple magazines to any sort of protest that you want. I don't know of any peaceful protester
multiple
magazines
to
any
sort
of
protest
that
you
want
I
don't
know
of
any
peaceful
protester
that shows up with a gun and ammunition rather than a sign. Don't let the left kid you with this
that
shows
up
with
a
gun
and
ammunition
rather
than
a
sign
Don't
let
the
left
kid
you
with
this
that this is just a normal protest. peaceful protesters don't have 9 mm
that
this
is
just
a
normal
protest
peaceful
protesters
don't
have
9
mm
weapons with two extra magazines. Are you [Â __Â ] kidding me right now?
weapons
with
two
extra
magazines
Are
you
 __Â
kidding
me
right
now
Are youing Are you saying Is that what you're saying on the right? Is that what
Are
youing
Are
you
saying
Is
that
what
you're
saying
on
the
right
Is
that
what
Is that what the right Are you saying that the problem was the guy had a gun?
Is
that
what
the
right
Are
you
saying
that
the
problem
was
the
guy
had
a
gun
Are you saying that the guns are the problem? Is that
Are
you
saying
that
the
guns
are
the
problem
Is
that
Are you saying, if I may, are you saying
Are
you
saying
if
I
may
are
you
saying
is everyone on the right coming together to say carrying a legal firearm was the
is
everyone
on
the
right
coming
together
to
say
carrying
a
legal
firearm
was
the
problem? Am I hearing things? Is that really what you're saying?
problem
Am
I
hearing
things
Is
that
really
what
you're
saying
Really? Is that what you're saying?
Really
Is
that
what
you're
saying
I guess that's what they're saying. Yeah. I want to hear it again. I want to hear you say it again, but this time not
I
guess
that's
what
they're
saying
Yeah
I
want
to
hear
it
again
I
want
to
hear
you
say
it
again
but
this
time
not
from some, you know, congressman. I want to hear it from a cabinet level secretary. And it doesn't have to be a cabinet level secretary who deals with
from
some
you
know
congressman
I
want
to
hear
it
from
a
cabinet
level
secretary
And
it
doesn't
have
to
be
a
cabinet
level
secretary
who
deals
with
security or anything along those lines. Just somebody wants to jump in and comment on it. In fact, and I want this secretary to deliver this line like it's
security
or
anything
along
those
lines
Just
somebody
wants
to
jump
in
and
comment
on
it
In
fact
and
I
want
this
secretary
to
deliver
this
line
like
it's
a mic drop, even though Oh, is it not? He brought a gun. Have you ever gone to
a
mic
drop
even
though
Oh
is
it
not
He
brought
a
gun
Have
you
ever
gone
to
a protest, Jonathan? I mean, we do have a second amendment in this country that Jon Jonathan, have you ever gone to a protest?
a
protest
Jonathan
I
mean
we
do
have
a
second
amendment
in
this
country
that
Jon
Jonathan
have
you
ever
gone
to
a
protest
I mean, um, have you gone to a protest? I mean, I've I've no actually as a reporter covering it.
I
mean
um
have
you
gone
to
a
protest
I
mean
I've
I've
no
actually
as
a
reporter
covering
it
Okay. I've been to a protest. Guess what? I didn't bring a gun. I brought a billboard.
Okay
I've
been
to
a
protest
Guess
what
I
didn't
bring
a
gun
I
brought
a
billboard
I didn't bring a Huh. I brought a It wasn't a man. It was a
I
didn't
bring
a
Huh
I
brought
a
It
wasn't
a
man
It
was
a
I brought a billboard. I brought three billboards. The protest was outside of Ebing, Missouri. It was three
I
brought
a
billboard
I
brought
three
billboards
The
protest
was
outside
of
Ebing
Missouri
It
was
three
billboards. I brought them all.
billboards
I
brought
them
all
By the way, people don't bring billboards to protest. They call them signs.
By
the
way
people
don't
bring
billboards
to
protest
They
call
them
signs
I I brought a billboard. I brought a billboard. I didn't bring a bang bang. I brought a
I
I
brought
a
billboard
I
brought
a
billboard
I
didn't
bring
a
bang
bang
I
brought
a
There is nothing that I love more than watching somebody deliver a practiced line that they think is devastating only
There
is
nothing
that
I
love
more
than
watching
somebody
deliver
a
practiced
line
that
they
think
is
devastating
only
to trip on their own dick. This is blowing my [Â __Â ] mind.
to
trip
on
their
own
dick
This
is
blowing
my
 __Â
mind
The people that brought you this guy and these guys and these guys as [Â __Â ]
The
people
that
brought
you
this
guy
and
these
guys
and
these
guys
as
 __
heroes who are brandishing their weapons are telling you the big mistake was
heroes
who
are
brandishing
their
weapons
are
telling
you
the
big
mistake
was
letting a citizen legally carry a gun. I mean, listen. I I
letting
a
citizen
legally
carry
a
gun
I
mean
listen
I
I
I wasn't shocked when you guys gave up the First Amendment, and I wasn't shocked when you gave up the Fourth
I
wasn't
shocked
when
you
guys
gave
up
the
First
Amendment
and
I
wasn't
shocked
when
you
gave
up
the
Fourth
Amendment and the 10th Amendment, and the 14th Amendment at Trump's behest,
Amendment
and
the
10th
Amendment
and
the
14th
Amendment
at
Trump's
behest
but the second
but
the
second
Isn't that kind of the loadbearing wall of the don't tread on me flag? Your
Isn't
that
kind
of
the
loadbearing
wall
of
the
don't
tread
on
me
flag
Your
snakes down to a noot. Your deeply felt constitutional
snakes
down
to
a
noot
Your
deeply
felt
constitutional
principles are suddenly the knight in Monty Python. Ara, come back. Come back.
principles
are
suddenly
the
knight
in
Monty
Python
Ara
come
back
Come
back
Ah, I'll I'll bite you to death. I'm still a constitution.
Ah
I'll
I'll
bite
you
to
death
I'm
still
a
constitution
Rent it. It's very good. Come on, guys. Guns are your whole
Rent
it
It's
very
good
Come
on
guys
Guns
are
your
whole
personality. Guns are your Zoom backgrounds,
personality
Guns
are
your
Zoom
backgrounds
your decorative lapel pins. Guns are how you show displeasure at documents.
your
decorative
lapel
pins
Guns
are
how
you
show
displeasure
at
documents
Guns are your Christmas cards. There's no human activity that can't be
Guns
are
your
Christmas
cards
There's
no
human
activity
that
can't
be
made better without the pulsing heat of your Armalite best friends. Of course, in Texas, we cook bacon a little
made
better
without
the
pulsing
heat
of
your
Armalite
best
friends
Of
course
in
Texas
we
cook
bacon
a
little
differently than most.
differently
than
most
Machine gun bacon.
Machine
gun
bacon
I'm not really one to talk, but it is clear how much heavy lifting his beard
I'm
not
really
one
to
talk
but
it
is
clear
how
much
heavy
lifting
his
beard
has to do. Like that dude that was like
has
to
do
Like
that
dude
that
was
like
that's some weapons [Â __Â ] right there. The crazy thing is the right has
that's
some
weapons
 __Â
right
there
The
crazy
thing
is
the
right
has
jettisoned the entire integrity and belief of their political worldview, the
jettisoned
the
entire
integrity
and
belief
of
their
political
worldview
the
entire uh foundation of it for a guy who really doesn't give a [Â __Â ]
entire
uh
foundation
of
it
for
a
guy
who
really
doesn't
give
a
 __
You gave it all up. This is your president on this harrowing weekend of bloodshed. At 11:31 a.m. this morning,
You
gave
it
all
up
This
is
your
president
on
this
harrowing
weekend
of
bloodshed
At
11:31
am
this
morning
he wrote on Truth Social to complain about a lawsuit and say that stopping construction of his White House ballroom, in his view, quote, would be
he
wrote
on
Truth
Social
to
complain
about
a
lawsuit
and
say
that
stopping
construction
of
his
White
House
ballroom
in
his
view
quote
would
be
devastating to the White House, our country, and all concerned. Just a few moments ago, he posted again lamenting
devastating
to
the
White
House
our
country
and
all
concerned
Just
a
few
moments
ago
he
posted
again
lamenting
the NFL's new kickoff format.
the
NFL's
new
kickoff
format
This is who you threw it all away for. Kickoff.
This
is
who
you
threw
it
all
away
for
Kickoff
Blood runs through the streets of Minnesota. A political party has jettisoned their entire knowledge of the
Blood
runs
through
the
streets
of
Minnesota
A
political
party
has
jettisoned
their
entire
knowledge
of
the
founding documents. And Trump's out there like, "Hey everybody, we're all going to get laid."
founding
documents
And
Trump's
out
there
like
Hey
everybody
we're
all
going
to
get
laid
This is what makes this entire Minnesota adventure so maddening. Because ultimately, we as a country are not
This
is
what
makes
this
entire
Minnesota
adventure
so
maddening
Because
ultimately
we
as
a
country
are
not
asking for too much from our government. We're just not. We have the soft bigotry
asking
for
too
much
from
our
government
We're
just
not
We
have
the
soft
bigotry
of low expectations. All we want
of
low
expectations
All
we
want
is sane policies actually competently executed
is
sane
policies
actually
competently
executed
without you all being huge dicks. That's all we Oh, no. That's not
without
you
all
being
huge
dicks
That's
all
we
Oh
no
That's
not
that's not what we we'll work on the acronym.
that's
not
what
we
we'll
work
on
the
acronym
But instead, we get bad policy executed with extreme dickishness. And to add
But
instead
we
get
bad
policy
executed
with
extreme
dickishness
And
to
add
insult to injury is the denial of the reality that we all witnessed.
insult
to
injury
is
the
denial
of
the
reality
that
we
all
witnessed
They're lying. We saw it. And that's how brazen they
They're
lying
We
saw
it
And
that's
how
brazen
they
lie when they know we've seen the truth. That's how they lie when they know we
lie
when
they
know
we've
seen
the
truth
That's
how
they
lie
when
they
know
we
know. Imagine how they lie when there's no evidence to contradict them.
know
Imagine
how
they
lie
when
there's
no
evidence
to
contradict
them
And maybe that more than anything explains why Alex Prey really was a threat.
And
maybe
that
more
than
anything
explains
why
Alex
Prey
really
was
a
threat
Because he was brandishing a weapon, a handheld aluminum 1080p 60fps weapon of
Because
he
was
brandishing
a
weapon
a
handheld
aluminum
1080p
60fps
weapon
of
mass illumination. Because there is nothing more dangerous to a regime predicated on lies than witnesses who
mass
illumination
Because
there
is
nothing
more
dangerous
to
a
regime
predicated
on
lies
than
witnesses
who
capture the truth. There is so much chaos in the news lately. It is truly overwhelming. And if
capture
the
truth
There
is
so
much
chaos
in
the
news
lately
It
is
truly
overwhelming
And
if
President Trump has you feeling exhausted and wanting to hide under a blanket, you're not alone.
President
Trump
has
you
feeling
exhausted
and
wanting
to
hide
under
a
blanket
you're
not
alone
Marco Rubio admitting he hides from President Trump during his naps on Air Force One, even cocooning himself in a
Marco
Rubio
admitting
he
hides
from
President
Trump
during
his
naps
on
Air
Force
One
even
cocooning
himself
in
a
blanket to cover his head. He says he knows the president never sleeps on the plane and will prowl the hallways to see
blanket
to
cover
his
head
He
says
he
knows
the
president
never
sleeps
on
the
plane
and
will
prowl
the
hallways
to
see
who's awake. Quote, "I want him to think it's a staffer who fell asleep. I don't want him to see a secretary of state
who's
awake
Quote
I
want
him
to
think
it's
a
staffer
who
fell
asleep
I
don't
want
him
to
see
a
secretary
of
state
sleeping on a couch and think, "Oh, this guy is weak."
sleeping
on
a
couch
and
think
Oh
this
guy
is
weak
Oh, Marco. Trump isn't going to think you're weak because you're napping. He's going to think you're weak because you're a [Â __Â ]
Oh
Marco
Trump
isn't
going
to
think
you're
weak
because
you're
napping
He's
going
to
think
you're
weak
because
you're
a
 __
I mean, come on. You don't have to cover yourself in blankets. If you want the president to ignore you, just be a jobs
I
mean
come
on
You
don't
have
to
cover
yourself
in
blankets
If
you
want
the
president
to
ignore
you
just
be
a
jobs
report or a or a middle-aged woman wearing pants.
report
or
a
or
a
middle-aged
woman
wearing
pants
By the way, how is this guy suddenly the sleep police? He's like my laptop. If
By
the
way
how
is
this
guy
suddenly
the
sleep
police
He's
like
my
laptop
If
you don't touch him for 5 minutes, he just shuts down. But I can see why the people in the
you
don't
touch
him
for
5
minutes
he
just
shuts
down
But
I
can
see
why
the
people
in
the
Trump administration want to lay low and cover up right now. The whole country is outraged over their fascist cosplaying
Trump
administration
want
to
lay
low
and
cover
up
right
now
The
whole
country
is
outraged
over
their
fascist
cosplaying
in Minneapolis. And none of them want to take the blame for it. Unfortunately for him, Border Patrol Commander Greg Bovino
in
Minneapolis
And
none
of
them
want
to
take
the
blame
for
it
Unfortunately
for
him
Border
Patrol
Commander
Greg
Bovino
has become the face of the immigration crackdown and that he's the only one not hiding his face. People have been
has
become
the
face
of
the
immigration
crackdown
and
that
he's
the
only
one
not
hiding
his
face
People
have
been
demanding his firing. But if there's one thing we know about President Trump, it's that he has always been a loyal man
demanding
his
firing
But
if
there's
one
thing
we
know
about
President
Trump
it's
that
he
has
always
been
a
loyal
man
to his staff and to his wives and to his mistresses.
to
his
staff
and
to
his
wives
and
to
his
mistresses
And he is not going to toss out Greg Bovino just to cover up his own culpability. Sources telling ABC News
And
he
is
not
going
to
toss
out
Greg
Bovino
just
to
cover
up
his
own
culpability
Sources
telling
ABC
News
Border Patrol Commander Gregory Bovino is out as part of a staffing shakeup. The controversial commander has been
Border
Patrol
Commander
Gregory
Bovino
is
out
as
part
of
a
staffing
shakeup
The
controversial
commander
has
been
reassigned to his regular job along the US Mexico border. Oh no. Ko say bye [Â __Â ]
reassigned
to
his
regular
job
along
the
US
Mexico
border
Oh
no
Ko
say
bye
 __
Man, do you know how badly you have to be at immigration enforcement that you get deported to Mexico?
Man
do
you
know
how
badly
you
have
to
be
at
immigration
enforcement
that
you
get
deported
to
Mexico
That's an embarrassing demotion by any standards. The Department of Homeland Security has been insisting this is not
That's
an
embarrassing
demotion
by
any
standards
The
Department
of
Homeland
Security
has
been
insisting
this
is
not
a demotion for Bavino. Oh. Uh-huh. Okay. Of course not. We're we're not throwing
a
demotion
for
Bavino
Oh
Uh-huh
Okay
Of
course
not
We're
we're
not
throwing
you under the bus. We're throwing you onto a bus and sending it far far away.
you
under
the
bus
We're
throwing
you
onto
a
bus
and
sending
it
far
far
away
But still, there seems to be some confusion here. if there's any clear definite sign that Trump has lost his
But
still
there
seems
to
be
some
confusion
here
if
there's
any
clear
definite
sign
that
Trump
has
lost
his
confidence in Bovino. Mr. Bovino, we just learned, has been cut off from accessing his social media
confidence
in
Bovino
Mr
Bovino
we
just
learned
has
been
cut
off
from
accessing
his
social
media
accounts by the Department of Homeland Security. Oh, he's toast.
accounts
by
the
Department
of
Homeland
Security
Oh
he's
toast
This administration practically runs on [Â __Â ] posting. So, there's no greater punishment to them than telling someone,
This
administration
practically
runs
on
 __Â
posting
So
there's
no
greater
punishment
to
them
than
telling
someone
"Turn in your badge and your dank memes." I'm just kidding. They don't have
Turn
in
your
badge
and
your
dank
memes
I'm
just
kidding
They
don't
have
badges. I can't believe that. No more screen time works on both eight-year-olds and
badges
I
can't
believe
that
No
more
screen
time
works
on
both
eight-year-olds
and
the head of a fascist death squad. Wow. Technology is really powerful. Powerful stuff. So, it looks like Greg Boino is
the
head
of
a
fascist
death
squad
Wow
Technology
is
really
powerful
Powerful
stuff
So
it
looks
like
Greg
Boino
is
gone. Not to be confused with Dan Bonino who is also gone. There's anyone in the
gone
Not
to
be
confused
with
Dan
Bonino
who
is
also
gone
There's
anyone
in
the
Trump administration named like Mike Boino. That guy is let me tell you.
Trump
administration
named
like
Mike
Boino
That
guy
is
let
me
tell
you
So, now Trump has a problem. He needs to find a replacement for Bo. Does anyone
So
now
Trump
has
a
problem
He
needs
to
find
a
replacement
for
Bo
Does
anyone
have an idea? And I mean anyone what I would do is just bring Tom Hman in. I would love to see Tom Holman just
have
an
idea
And
I
mean
anyone
what
I
would
do
is
just
bring
Tom
Hman
in
I
would
love
to
see
Tom
Holman
just
be asked to go in there and settle things down. I would hope that maybe a fresh set of eyes Tom Hman going in
be
asked
to
go
in
there
and
settle
things
down
I
would
hope
that
maybe
a
fresh
set
of
eyes
Tom
Hman
going
in
there taking control of this. Okay. I think Brian Kilme might want Tom
there
taking
control
of
this
Okay
I
think
Brian
Kilme
might
want
Tom
Hman. Uh for those who don't know Tom Hman is Trump's border zar seen here
Hman
Uh
for
those
who
don't
know
Tom
Hman
is
Trump's
border
zar
seen
here
eyeing a paper bag filled with $50,000.
eyeing
a
paper
bag
filled
with
50000
But this is this is Killilme, okay? He's a Fox and Friends host. He's not a cabinet member. Just because he's
But
this
is
this
is
Killilme
okay
He's
a
Fox
and
Friends
host
He's
not
a
cabinet
member
Just
because
he's
spitballing ideas on camera doesn't mean that Trump's actually going to do exactly what he's suggesting 20 minutes
spitballing
ideas
on
camera
doesn't
mean
that
Trump's
actually
going
to
do
exactly
what
he's
suggesting
20
minutes
later. The president just posted on Truth Social moments ago. He says, "I am sending Tom Holman into Minnesota
later
The
president
just
posted
on
Truth
Social
moments
ago
He
says
I
am
sending
Tom
Holman
into
Minnesota
tonight." Well, me in the face.
tonight
Well
me
in
the
face
They say TV is dying, but there's still power in it. I mean, God, if Brian Kilme can will something into existence,
They
say
TV
is
dying
but
there's
still
power
in
it
I
mean
God
if
Brian
Kilme
can
will
something
into
existence
imagine what I could do. Hey, Timothy Shalamé,
imagine
what
I
could
do
Hey
Timothy
Shalamé
it's time. Shave that mustache from Marty Supreme.
it's
time
Shave
that
mustache
from
Marty
Supreme
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah
Yeah
I think that was the best use of my power. But the truth is, a suggestion from couch people wouldn't have worked
I
think
that
was
the
best
use
of
my
power
But
the
truth
is
a
suggestion
from
couch
people
wouldn't
have
worked
on its own. What worked was what the good people of Minneapolis have done with their bravery and their
on
its
own
What
worked
was
what
the
good
people
of
Minneapolis
have
done
with
their
bravery
and
their
determination and sacrifice. It was their unceasing resistance and banding
determination
and
sacrifice
It
was
their
unceasing
resistance
and
banding
together in bone chilling temperatures, mind you, that kept attention on the injustices being committed by ICE to the
together
in
bone
chilling
temperatures
mind
you
that
kept
attention
on
the
injustices
being
committed
by
ICE
to
the
point where even conservatives were pushing back. At least 30 Republicans now demanding a full and complete and
point
where
even
conservatives
were
pushing
back
At
least
30
Republicans
now
demanding
a
full
and
complete
and
thorough investigation. Texas Governor Greg Abbott says that it's time for the White House to recalibrate their
thorough
investigation
Texas
Governor
Greg
Abbott
says
that
it's
time
for
the
White
House
to
recalibrate
their
approach. The NRA even speaking out, posting, "Responsible public voices should be awaiting a full investigation,
approach
The
NRA
even
speaking
out
posting
Responsible
public
voices
should
be
awaiting
a
full
investigation
not making generalizations and demonizing law-abiding citizens." Republican Congressman Thomas Massie
not
making
generalizations
and
demonizing
law-abiding
citizens
Republican
Congressman
Thomas
Massie
posting, "Carrying a firearm is not a death sentence. It's a constitutionally protected God-given right."
posting
Carrying
a
firearm
is
not
a
death
sentence
It's
a
constitutionally
protected
God-given
right
I mean, look, I I love that conservatives are speaking out, but carrying a gun is a god-given right,
I
mean
look
I
I
love
that
conservatives
are
speaking
out
but
carrying
a
gun
is
a
god-given
right
guys. There's no guns in the Bible. Are you thinking of the novelization of the Equalizer, too?
guys
There's
no
guns
in
the
Bible
Are
you
thinking
of
the
novelization
of
the
Equalizer
too
Which, to be fair, is my personal Bible. So, you've got everyone from GOP
Which
to
be
fair
is
my
personal
Bible
So
you've
got
everyone
from
GOP
senators to the NRA criticizing how Trump is handling this. But no matter how many people abandon him, he will
senators
to
the
NRA
criticizing
how
Trump
is
handling
this
But
no
matter
how
many
people
abandon
him
he
will
always, always have Newsmax. They'll defend him even if it makes them look stupid. Especially if it makes them look
always
always
have
Newsmax
They'll
defend
him
even
if
it
makes
them
look
stupid
Especially
if
it
makes
them
look
stupid. Can I tell you something? Look at that. Take that full. In a weird way, that
stupid
Can
I
tell
you
something
Look
at
that
Take
that
full
In
a
weird
way
that
phone I think could be mistaken for a gun. I want to show you something.
phone
I
think
could
be
mistaken
for
a
gun
I
want
to
show
you
something
Does that look like a gun? I think it does a little bit. It's a phone. It's black like most phones. That's crazy
Does
that
look
like
a
gun
I
think
it
does
a
little
bit
It's
a
phone
It's
black
like
most
phones
That's
crazy
stuff. I won't disagree with you there. That is
stuff
I
won't
disagree
with
you
there
That
is
crazy stuff. And if you think this couldn't be any stupider, never underestimate Greg
crazy
stuff
And
if
you
think
this
couldn't
be
any
stupider
never
underestimate
Greg
Kelly. Oh my god, there's a guy over there. Stop. Doesn't that look like a gun? Seriously,
Kelly
Oh
my
god
there's
a
guy
over
there
Stop
Doesn't
that
look
like
a
gun
Seriously
it's just my silly phone. I can't change the screen saver. I
it's
just
my
silly
phone
I
can't
change
the
screen
saver
I
didn't choose that one. It just popped up. I think it's like black lives matter or something. I do not support, but I
didn't
choose
that
one
It
just
popped
up
I
think
it's
like
black
lives
matter
or
something
I
do
not
support
but
I
can't get rid of it. See you tomorrow. That is the most Newsmax sentence of all
can't
get
rid
of
it
See
you
tomorrow
That
is
the
most
Newsmax
sentence
of
all
time. I don't know what that is, but I do not support it. It's amazing what you can get cancelled
time
I
don't
know
what
that
is
but
I
do
not
support
it
It's
amazing
what
you
can
get
cancelled
for on the right. I don't support civil rights. I swear it's a tech issue. You got to believe me. I have to say, Greg
for
on
the
right
I
don't
support
civil
rights
I
swear
it's
a
tech
issue
You
got
to
believe
me
I
have
to
say
Greg
Kelly, that entire demonstration was just embarrassing. I just I hope Donald Trump didn't see you [Â __Â ] the bed that
Kelly
that
entire
demonstration
was
just
embarrassing
I
just
I
hope
Donald
Trump
didn't
see
you
 __Â
the
bed
that
hard. Oh, phew. You're good. He was sleeping.
hard
Oh
phew
You're
good
He
was
sleeping
The Trump administration is still scrambling to cover their asses after the unrest in Minnesota. And that won't
The
Trump
administration
is
still
scrambling
to
cover
their
asses
after
the
unrest
in
Minnesota
And
that
won't
be easy. Some of them have a lot of ass to cover.
be
easy
Some
of
them
have
a
lot
of
ass
to
cover
But this administration is ready to step up and take accountability. This morning, the blame game inside the
But
this
administration
is
ready
to
step
up
and
take
accountability
This
morning
the
blame
game
inside
the
Trump administration. You have the president of the United States blaming Christy Gnome. Gnome is saying that she was just
Trump
administration
You
have
the
president
of
the
United
States
blaming
Christy
Gnome
Gnome
is
saying
that
she
was
just
repeating what the White House told her to say that this was the narrative that Steven Miller had come up with.
repeating
what
the
White
House
told
her
to
say
that
this
was
the
narrative
that
Steven
Miller
had
come
up
with
Steven Miller attempting to shift scrutiny to border patrol agents. So you have Trump, Gnome, and Miller all
Steven
Miller
attempting
to
shift
scrutiny
to
border
patrol
agents
So
you
have
Trump
Gnome
and
Miller
all
pointing fingers at each other. It's like a Mexican standoff for people who hate Mexicans.
pointing
fingers
at
each
other
It's
like
a
Mexican
standoff
for
people
who
hate
Mexicans
But things are clearly getting extremely ugly inside the Trump administration. And bear in mind, it started extremely
But
things
are
clearly
getting
extremely
ugly
inside
the
Trump
administration
And
bear
in
mind
it
started
extremely
ugly, but you know, par for the course. It all makes sense. No further explanation
ugly
but
you
know
par
for
the
course
It
all
makes
sense
No
further
explanation
needed. I just want to hold up a flowchart, friend, of my understanding of the blame game here.
needed
I
just
want
to
hold
up
a
flowchart
friend
of
my
understanding
of
the
blame
game
here
I don't want to say CNN is struggling financially, but this is the channel that used to talk to
I
don't
want
to
say
CNN
is
struggling
financially
but
this
is
the
channel
that
used
to
talk
to
holograms of Will I Am and now they're just scribbling things on a napkin. Oh,
holograms
of
Will
I
Am
and
now
they're
just
scribbling
things
on
a
napkin
Oh
that's why Wolf Blitzer has been selling his nudes online.
that's
why
Wolf
Blitzer
has
been
selling
his
nudes
online
Yes. So, the Republicans are in disarray. Trump is doing exactly what you would
Yes
So
the
Republicans
are
in
disarray
Trump
is
doing
exactly
what
you
would
expect him to be doing while his cabinet is falling apart. Redirecting our attention to an election that happened
expect
him
to
be
doing
while
his
cabinet
is
falling
apart
Redirecting
our
attention
to
an
election
that
happened
two years ago. We did so great in the election with Hispanic voters. We did so great with
two
years
ago
We
did
so
great
in
the
election
with
Hispanic
voters
We
did
so
great
with
black men. We did so great with white everything.
black
men
We
did
so
great
with
white
everything
White everything. All the whites. Jeremy Allen whites, Betty Whites, Walter Whites, Snow Whites. White chicks.
White
everything
All
the
whites
Jeremy
Allen
whites
Betty
Whites
Walter
Whites
Snow
Whites
White
chicks
That's a twofer because it's black men dressed as white.
That's
a
twofer
because
it's
black
men
dressed
as
white
But wait, hold on. I'm white and I didn't vote for Trump. So, does that mean I'm black?
But
wait
hold
on
I'm
white
and
I
didn't
vote
for
Trump
So
does
that
mean
I'm
black
Yes. Look who just got invited to the cookout.
Yes
Look
who
just
got
invited
to
the
cookout
I'll bring my famous Crazins potato salad. What's that? I was uninvited.
I'll
bring
my
famous
Crazins
potato
salad
What's
that
I
was
uninvited
Just good to be in the conversation.
Just
good
to
be
in
the
conversation
And if you thought that Trump would use this rally as an opportunity to lower the temperature in Minnesota, well, you
And
if
you
thought
that
Trump
would
use
this
rally
as
an
opportunity
to
lower
the
temperature
in
Minnesota
well
you
are stupid. They have to show that they can love our country. They have to be proud. Not like
are
stupid
They
have
to
show
that
they
can
love
our
country
They
have
to
be
proud
Not
like
Ilhan Omar. Did you see what did you see that wise guy? You know, she
Ilhan
Omar
Did
you
see
what
did
you
see
that
wise
guy
You
know
she
was always talking about the constitution provides me with the following.
was
always
talking
about
the
constitution
provides
me
with
the
following
Okay, I will say if Trump was going to do an impression of an African woman, it could have gone a lot worse than that.
Okay
I
will
say
if
Trump
was
going
to
do
an
impression
of
an
African
woman
it
could
have
gone
a
lot
worse
than
that
So, let's let's just be grateful. This is this is such a weird thing for him to
So
let's
let's
just
be
grateful
This
is
this
is
such
a
weird
thing
for
him
to
make fun of. The president of the United States is roasting people for knowing the Constitution. This is like the
make
fun
of
The
president
of
the
United
States
is
roasting
people
for
knowing
the
Constitution
This
is
like
the
president of Nike being like, "Oh, I'm Michael Jordan. I like playing
president
of
Nike
being
like
Oh
I'm
Michael
Jordan
I
like
playing
basketball in shoes. What aing loser.
basketball
in
shoes
What
aing
loser
It's not surprising that Trump was mocking Congresswoman Omar. He's been viciously attacking her for months,
It's
not
surprising
that
Trump
was
mocking
Congresswoman
Omar
He's
been
viciously
attacking
her
for
months
calling her garbage, saying that she and other Somali Americans should go back to where they came from. And last night in
calling
her
garbage
saying
that
she
and
other
Somali
Americans
should
go
back
to
where
they
came
from
And
last
night
in
Minnesota, after Trump's rally, someone took his verbal attacks to the next level. Overnight, a chaotic scene at a
Minnesota
after
Trump's
rally
someone
took
his
verbal
attacks
to
the
next
level
Overnight
a
chaotic
scene
at
a
Minnesota town hall. A man charging Congresswoman Ilhan Omar moments after she took the podium using a syringe,
Minnesota
town
hall
A
man
charging
Congresswoman
Ilhan
Omar
moments
after
she
took
the
podium
using
a
syringe
police say, to spray her with what witnesses describe as an unknown, strong smelling liquid.
police
say
to
spray
her
with
what
witnesses
describe
as
an
unknown
strong
smelling
liquid
New reporting that it was apple cider vinegar.
New
reporting
that
it
was
apple
cider
vinegar
Apple cider vinegar? What the dude? Are you trying to pickle her?
Apple
cider
vinegar
What
the
dude
Are
you
trying
to
pickle
her
I'll show you. Your skin's going to glow and you'll never get a cold.
I'll
show
you
Your
skin's
going
to
glow
and
you'll
never
get
a
cold
So weird. More importantly, can can we just go back to the footage and watch howing boss Omar's reaction is. Look at
So
weird
More
importantly
can
can
we
just
go
back
to
the
footage
and
watch
howing
boss
Omar's
reaction
is
Look
at
this. Look at this. She gets trained and she
this
Look
at
this
She
gets
trained
and
she
goes after the guy immediately.
goes
after
the
guy
immediately
Dude, if that happened to me, I would be terrified. But Omar was like, "This is
Dude
if
that
happened
to
me
I
would
be
terrified
But
Omar
was
like
This
is
dry clean only, [Â __Â ] Yes. Yes. Now, let's be clear. We don't
dry
clean
only
 __Â
Yes
Yes
Now
let's
be
clear
We
don't
know why exactly this man squirted Ilhan Omar. And we would not be a trustworthy,
know
why
exactly
this
man
squirted
Ilhan
Omar
And
we
would
not
be
a
trustworthy
reliable source if we just speculated wildly. Anyway, here's Donald Trump speculating wildly. Speaking to ABC
reliable
source
if
we
just
speculated
wildly
Anyway
here's
Donald
Trump
speculating
wildly
Speaking
to
ABC
News, he suggested without evidence that the attack was somehow staged, saying, quote, "I think she's a fraud. I really
News
he
suggested
without
evidence
that
the
attack
was
somehow
staged
saying
quote
I
think
she's
a
fraud
I
really
don't think about that. She probably had herself sprayed knowing her.
don't
think
about
that
She
probably
had
herself
sprayed
knowing
her
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Totally. She was probably like, "I forgot to wear perfume." I know. I'll have crazy Jeff
Oh
yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Totally
She
was
probably
like
I
forgot
to
wear
perfume
I
know
I'll
have
crazy
Jeff
spray me mid speech. Now, you might be wondering how the
spray
me
mid
speech
Now
you
might
be
wondering
how
the
president could react to an act of political violence this way, but it's pretty simple here. Let me let me just
president
could
react
to
an
act
of
political
violence
this
way
but
it's
pretty
simple
here
Let
me
let
me
just
explain.
explain
Here we go. Okay. See, dumb thing. Trump's brain,
Here
we
go
Okay
See
dumb
thing
Trump's
brain
Trump's mouth. I take it back. These things are great.
Trump's
mouth
I
take
it
back
These
things
are
great
So, Trump didn't spend much time thinking about Congresswoman Omar because he had something much bigger
So
Trump
didn't
spend
much
time
thinking
about
Congresswoman
Omar
because
he
had
something
much
bigger
going on today. He held an event to promote his new Trump accounts, featuring a lineup of guests that
going
on
today
He
held
an
event
to
promote
his
new
Trump
accounts
featuring
a
lineup
of
guests
that
includes Mr. Wonderful from Shark Tank, Cheryl Hines from Curb Your Enthusiasm,
includes
Mr
Wonderful
from
Shark
Tank
Cheryl
Hines
from
Curb
Your
Enthusiasm
Michael Dell from The Computer You Buy When You Can't Afford a Mac, and Ted Cruz from Your Nightmares.
Michael
Dell
from
The
Computer
You
Buy
When
You
Can't
Afford
a
Mac
and
Ted
Cruz
from
Your
Nightmares
And then there was one truly special guest. There's a certain person that's
And
then
there
was
one
truly
special
guest
There's
a
certain
person
that's
here who's the greatest and most successful female rapper in history, Nicki Minaj. And I said, I am going to
here
who's
the
greatest
and
most
successful
female
rapper
in
history
Nicki
Minaj
And
I
said
I
am
going
to
let my nails grow cuz I love those nails. I'm going to I'm going to let
let
my
nails
grow
cuz
I
love
those
nails
I'm
going
to
I'm
going
to
let
those nails grow.
those
nails
grow
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Mr. President, don't let those nails get near your delicate hand. Seriously, look
Oh
no
no
no
no
no
no
no
Mr
President
don't
let
those
nails
get
near
your
delicate
hand
Seriously
look
at this. Oh, one slip in Trump's hand is going to start leaking like a busted
at
this
Oh
one
slip
in
Trump's
hand
is
going
to
start
leaking
like
a
busted
water bed. It's like a chainsaw holding hands with a Ziploc bag of chili. Things
water
bed
It's
like
a
chainsaw
holding
hands
with
a
Ziploc
bag
of
chili
Things
could get real messy real quick. Now, honestly, these accounts aren't the
could
get
real
messy
real
quick
Now
honestly
these
accounts
aren't
the
worst idea that either Trump or Nikki has endorsed. Basically, it's like an IRA for babies. Trump accounts will give
worst
idea
that
either
Trump
or
Nikki
has
endorsed
Basically
it's
like
an
IRA
for
babies
Trump
accounts
will
give
$1,000 in federal money to every baby born between January 1st, 2025 and the
1000
in
federal
money
to
every
baby
born
between
January
1st
2025
and
the
end of 2028. The money will be invested until the child can access it when they
end
of
2028
The
money
will
be
invested
until
the
child
can
access
it
when
they
turn 18. Wow, I didn't expect this from Donald Trump. Mostly the part where he
turn
18
Wow
I
didn't
expect
this
from
Donald
Trump
Mostly
the
part
where
he
says you can't touch something until it turns 18.
says
you
can't
touch
something
until
it
turns
18
We begin with the battle over Trump's immigration crackdown. As the situation gets more and more out of hand, the
We
begin
with
the
battle
over
Trump's
immigration
crackdown
As
the
situation
gets
more
and
more
out
of
hand
the
people behind it are starting to feel the heat. And one person cannot be contained.
people
behind
it
are
starting
to
feel
the
heat
And
one
person
cannot
be
contained
Christine Noom and Steven Miller are liars. Any administration that allows them to continue in office is rotten to
Christine
Noom
and
Steven
Miller
are
liars
Any
administration
that
allows
them
to
continue
in
office
is
rotten
to
its core. Oh wow. Samuel L. Schumer over here. You
its
core
Oh
wow
Samuel
L
Schumer
over
here
You
kiss your lobbyist with that mouth. Guess a video like that is one way to
kiss
your
lobbyist
with
that
mouth
Guess
a
video
like
that
is
one
way
to
get our attention, but I think it might be even more effective if you just cut it off a little bit earlier.
get
our
attention
but
I
think
it
might
be
even
more
effective
if
you
just
cut
it
off
a
little
bit
earlier
Christy Noom and Steven Miller are
Christy
Noom
and
Steven
Miller
are
okay, now I'm listening. Spill the tea, girl. So, yeah, Schumer came in pretty hot,
okay
now
I'm
listening
Spill
the
tea
girl
So
yeah
Schumer
came
in
pretty
hot
but other Democrats are trying to bring down the volume just a little. What do you make of the president's
but
other
Democrats
are
trying
to
bring
down
the
volume
just
a
little
What
do
you
make
of
the
president's
fullthroated support of Christy Gnome?
fullthroated
support
of
Christy
Gnome
We don't have sound. I think we're muted here.
We
don't
have
sound
I
think
we're
muted
here
Good afternoon, Chris. Nailed it. I couldn't have not said it
Good
afternoon
Chris
Nailed
it
I
couldn't
have
not
said
it
better myself. So, let's assume that at some point the Democrats can express themselves at a normal volume, somewhere
better
myself
So
let's
assume
that
at
some
point
the
Democrats
can
express
themselves
at
a
normal
volume
somewhere
between zero and Lewis Black. What do they want? They are demanding three specific
between
zero
and
Lewis
Black
What
do
they
want
They
are
demanding
three
specific
changes and roving ICE patrols across the country. An updated uniform code of
changes
and
roving
ICE
patrols
across
the
country
An
updated
uniform
code
of
conduct and accountability for immigration enforcement, body cams on all agents, as well as proper
conduct
and
accountability
for
immigration
enforcement
body
cams
on
all
agents
as
well
as
proper
identification and no masks. Okay, good to see Democrats pushing for
identification
and
no
masks
Okay
good
to
see
Democrats
pushing
for
some reforms. Is this everything that needs to change about ICE? No. Is it a
some
reforms
Is
this
everything
that
needs
to
change
about
ICE
No
Is
it
a
start? Yes. Am I going to keep asking myself questions and then answering them? No. This is my last one. Can I ask
start
Yes
Am
I
going
to
keep
asking
myself
questions
and
then
answering
them
No
This
is
my
last
one
Can
I
ask
one more? Fine. So, let's move on to the big exciting event that we have all been waiting for.
one
more
Fine
So
let's
move
on
to
the
big
exciting
event
that
we
have
all
been
waiting
for
Everyone's going. You know what I'm talking about. The new Melania movie.
Everyone's
going
You
know
what
I'm
talking
about
The
new
Melania
movie
Oh, someone didn't get their tickets in time. Don't be mad. But if you haven't
Oh
someone
didn't
get
their
tickets
in
time
Don't
be
mad
But
if
you
haven't
seen the trailer, get ready to be blown away. Here we go again.
seen
the
trailer
get
ready
to
be
blown
away
Here
we
go
again
Hi, Mr. President. Congratulations. Did you watch it? I did not. Yeah,
Hi
Mr
President
Congratulations
Did
you
watch
it
I
did
not
Yeah
I did not. Yeah, I I was going to, but then I didn't.
I
did
not
Yeah
I
I
was
going
to
but
then
I
didn't
Now, when you first heard that there was going to be a documentary about Melania, you probably thought, "Oh, or huh, or
Now
when
you
first
heard
that
there
was
going
to
be
a
documentary
about
Melania
you
probably
thought
Oh
or
huh
or
why, or can I undo my LASIK?" But Amazon believed in this movie a lot. Like,
why
or
can
I
undo
my
LASIK
But
Amazon
believed
in
this
movie
a
lot
Like
suspiciously a lot. Bezos and Amazon are paying $40 million for a documentary on Melania Trump.
suspiciously
a
lot
Bezos
and
Amazon
are
paying
40
million
for
a
documentary
on
Melania
Trump
The most expensive licensing fee ever paid for a documentary. Amazon paid nearly three times more than the next
The
most
expensive
licensing
fee
ever
paid
for
a
documentary
Amazon
paid
nearly
three
times
more
than
the
next
highest bidder. The first lady will reportedly walk away with at least $28 million.
highest
bidder
The
first
lady
will
reportedly
walk
away
with
at
least
28
million
Huh? Why? Why would Jeff Bezos, a billionaire
Huh
Why
Why
would
Jeff
Bezos
a
billionaire
who has tons of business with a government run by a famously corrupt president known for loving bribes,
who
has
tons
of
business
with
a
government
run
by
a
famously
corrupt
president
known
for
loving
bribes
overpay for a Melania documentary? H, let me think.
overpay
for
a
Melania
documentary
H
let
me
think
Well, that didn't help. But whatever else this is, they made a
Well
that
didn't
help
But
whatever
else
this
is
they
made
a
real movie. They even got director Brett Ratner, who you might know from Rush Hour or the Me Too movement. And they're
real
movie
They
even
got
director
Brett
Ratner
who
you
might
know
from
Rush
Hour
or
the
Me
Too
movement
And
they're
and they're spending a ton of money promoting it, which is why we're seeing Melania all over Fox News doing
and
they're
spending
a
ton
of
money
promoting
it
which
is
why
we're
seeing
Melania
all
over
Fox
News
doing
interviews. And they've been asking her fascinating questions. How does it feel being first lady for the second time
interviews
And
they've
been
asking
her
fascinating
questions
How
does
it
feel
being
first
lady
for
the
second
time
around? It's quite extraordinary. What is your favorite part of the movie when we all go to watch it this weekend
around
It's
quite
extraordinary
What
is
your
favorite
part
of
the
movie
when
we
all
go
to
watch
it
this
weekend
when he's doing the YMCA? How do you feel? Fostering the future AI. I mean, what
when
he's
doing
the
YMCA
How
do
you
feel
Fostering
the
future
AI
I
mean
what
haven't you done? Tell us about the future. I've always been curious. What is your favorite time of day?
haven't
you
done
Tell
us
about
the
future
I've
always
been
curious
What
is
your
favorite
time
of
day
I was told there'd be no gotcha questions. What is your favorite time of day? That
I
was
told
there'd
be
no
gotcha
questions
What
is
your
favorite
time
of
day
That
sounds like the conversation you have with a co-orker spouse when they show up to the holiday party before your coworker does. So, um, do you always eat
sounds
like
the
conversation
you
have
with
a
co-orker
spouse
when
they
show
up
to
the
holiday
party
before
your
coworker
does
So
um
do
you
always
eat
orves or I got to go to the bathroom? I will say I don't want to put all the
orves
or
I
got
to
go
to
the
bathroom
I
will
say
I
don't
want
to
put
all
the
blame on the interviewers because Melania is not really giving them a lot to work with. I I got the special score for that
blame
on
the
interviewers
because
Melania
is
not
really
giving
them
a
lot
to
work
with
I
I
got
the
special
score
for
that
movie, my original score that it's called Melania's Vaults. Wow. And where
movie
my
original
score
that
it's
called
Melania's
Vaults
Wow
And
where
does that original score come from? It's especially made for the movie. How wonderful.
does
that
original
score
come
from
It's
especially
made
for
the
movie
How
wonderful
Wow. The original score for this movie was made for this movie, you say? And
Wow
The
original
score
for
this
movie
was
made
for
this
movie
you
say
And
did they hit record when they were filming? Oh, how wonderful. Well, here's $40 million.
did
they
hit
record
when
they
were
filming
Oh
how
wonderful
Well
here's
40
million
So, all right. This isn't one of those interesting Timothy Shalamé press tours, but that's not important. What's
So
all
right
This
isn't
one
of
those
interesting
Timothy
Shalamé
press
tours
but
that's
not
important
What's
important is what this movie is about. Just what is it about? This story was never told before. So the
important
is
what
this
movie
is
about
Just
what
is
it
about
This
story
was
never
told
before
So
the
audience will see me, how I manage my business, uh my philanthropy,
audience
will
see
me
how
I
manage
my
business
uh
my
philanthropy
family, uh preparation for the inauguration and also establishing the
family
uh
preparation
for
the
inauguration
and
also
establishing
the
east wing uh for the White House. Oh,
east
wing
uh
for
the
White
House
Oh
no one's told her. Oh god. Oh, I love the East Wing,
no
one's
told
her
Oh
god
Oh
I
love
the
East
Wing
especially how it will always be there. Is this whole movie just her talking
especially
how
it
will
always
be
there
Is
this
whole
movie
just
her
talking
about things that she loves that are no longer here? Oh, uh, my passions. Uh,
about
things
that
she
loves
that
are
no
longer
here
Oh
uh
my
passions
Uh
decorating the East Wing. Uh, chatting with Dilbert creator Scott Adams. Uh,
decorating
the
East
Wing
Uh
chatting
with
Dilbert
creator
Scott
Adams
Uh
let's see what else. But whether this movie was a legitimate piece of art or a cash grab, it was a
let's
see
what
else
But
whether
this
movie
was
a
legitimate
piece
of
art
or
a
cash
grab
it
was
a
cash grab. So, I'm sure everyone involved with this project is very proud of the work that they've done. Rolling
cash
grab
So
I'm
sure
everyone
involved
with
this
project
is
very
proud
of
the
work
that
they've
done
Rolling
Stone is reporting twothirds of the film's New York crew asked not to be credited.
Stone
is
reporting
twothirds
of
the
film's
New
York
crew
asked
not
to
be
credited
You didn't want to be in the credits, but how will they know who to get the trophy to at the FIFA Academy Awards?
You
didn't
want
to
be
in
the
credits
but
how
will
they
know
who
to
get
the
trophy
to
at
the
FIFA
Academy
Awards
And you know that this is bad because people in Hollywood love taking credit. It is their favorite thing to do. By the
And
you
know
that
this
is
bad
because
people
in
Hollywood
love
taking
credit
It
is
their
favorite
thing
to
do
By
the
way, I was the first person to make that point.
way
I
was
the
first
person
to
make
that
point
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