Watch and Learn - Jon on Epstein Files vs. Pizzagate & Ronny Chieng on Trump's MBS Meeting

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On the premiere of season 8 of the

Epstein Files, old emails continue to

Epstein Files old emails continue to

resurface, sparking renewed interest

resurface sparking renewed interest

because of exchanges like this one,

because of exchanges like this one

which

really encapsulates the absolutely

astonishing nature of this entire

affair. I I I give you

affair I I I give you

this is an email exchange between

Jeffrey Epstein

and his brother Mark.

and his brother Mark

In one email, Epstein's brother Mark

In one email Epstein's brother Mark

told him to ask Steve Bannon if quote,

told him to ask Steve Bannon if quote

"Putin has the photos of Trump blowing

Putin has the photos of Trump blowing

Bubba.

Bubba

this sentence uh

maybe

18 words long.

18 words long

Seven of those words are Steve Bannon

Putin photos Trump blowing bubba.

Putin photos Trump blowing bubba

It's a rich text.

It's a rich text

Literary scholars will secure tenure off

the analysis of

this text.

this text

Steve Bannon, Putin photos,

Steve Bannon Putin photos

Trump blowing bubba.

Trump blowing bubba

And I know what you're probably

thinking.

thinking

Jeffrey Epstein had a brother.

Jeffrey Epstein had a brother

He did apparently. And to the second

He did apparently And to the second

thing that you might be thinking,

thing that you might be thinking

>> Mark Epstein released a statement

clarifying that the name Bubba was not a

reference to former President Bill

Clinton.

Clinton

>> Thank you for clearing that up.

>> Thank you for clearing that up

No further questions, your honor.

No further questions your honor

Uh, boy, before before I go, one last

Uh boy before before I go one last

thing. Uh, which Bubba was he blowing

thing Uh which Bubba was he blowing

then? It's not Bubba Gump. That's a

then It's not Bubba Gump That's a

restaurant. And you can't blow a

restaurant And you can't blow a

restaurant.

restaurant

By the way, that's not a challenge, Mr.

By the way that's not a challenge Mr

President.

President

You see, but these are the kinds of

You see but these are the kinds of

questions that can be answered by

releasing the Epstein files, which

releasing the Epstein files which

Donald Trump has been steadfastly

against. I don't understand why the

against I don't understand why the

Jeffrey Epstein case would be of

interest to anybody. It's pretty boring

interest to anybody It's pretty boring

stuff.

stuff

>> Did you see the blowing email?

>> Did you see the blowing email

>> It's kind of interesting.

>> It's kind of interesting

>> I mean, the little taste of that, NO PUN

>> I mean the little taste of that NO PUN

INTENDED,

INTENDED

DID AROUSE AGAIN, NO PUN INTENDED,

DID AROUSE AGAIN NO PUN INTENDED

some curiosity about the rest of, if I

some curiosity about the rest of if I

may, the load.

may the load

That that one I meant,

That that one I meant

but pressure is building. IS THERE ANY

but pressure is building IS THERE ANY

WAY TO TALK ABOUT THIS STORY THAT

DOESN'T SOUND ejaculate adjacent?

DOESN'T SOUND ejaculate adjacent

People are begging on their knees. No,

People are begging on their knees No

this is not

demanding release. No, this is

demanding release No this is

But the House of Representatives clearly

now has the votes to demand that the

Epstein files be released, which is why

Epstein files be released which is why

this weekend Trump pivoted.

this weekend Trump pivoted

>> The president writing on social media,

>> The president writing on social media

"Helps Republicans should vote to

Helps Republicans should vote to

release the Epstein files because we

have nothing to hide."

have nothing to hide

Oh,

nothing to hide. For those of you at

nothing to hide For those of you at

home who are watching tonight and have

something to hide, whether it be a

something to hide whether it be a

simple guilty pleasure of the lowbrow

television variety, hello swinging

television variety hello swinging

Mormons, or

Mormons or

a body encased in concrete by your sump.

a body encased in concrete by your sump

At some point, the walls will close in,

At some point the walls will close in

at which point you too will probably

find yourself saying, maybe not via

find yourself saying maybe not via

tweet, "Hey, go ahead. Look, I got

tweet Hey go ahead Look I got

nothing to hide." But you do. You do and

nothing to hide But you do You do and

so does Trump. Cuz guess what? If he had

so does Trump Cuz guess what If he had

nothing to hide, he could have

nothing to hide he could have

declassified and released these files

himself at any time. How do I know this?

himself at any time How do I know this

A legal expert named Donald Jurus

Prudence Trump

said. So if you're the president of the

said So if you're the president of the

United States, you can declassify just

United States you can declassify just

by saying it's declassified even by

thinking about it.

thinking about it

Come on, DONNIE BOY. DON'T THINK ABOUT

Come on DONNIE BOY DON'T THINK ABOUT

IT.

NO, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT BASEBALL.

NO DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT BASEBALL

THINK ABOUT YOUR GRANDMA. THINK ABOUT

THINK ABOUT YOUR GRANDMA THINK ABOUT

BASEBALL. THINK ABOUT YOUR GRANDMA

BASEBALL THINK ABOUT YOUR GRANDMA

PLAYING BASEBALL. DON'T THINK ABOUT THE

PLAYING BASEBALL DON'T THINK ABOUT THE

CLASSIFIED. I DECLASSIFIED IT.

CLASSIFIED I DECLASSIFIED IT

OH, I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT, BUT I DID

OH I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT BUT I DID

IT.

I DECLASSIFIED IN MY PANTS.

I DECLASSIFIED IN MY PANTS

It's very clear Trump does not want

these things out there, which is obvious

these things out there which is obvious

even from his nonsensical answers about

it in the Oval Office today.

it in the Oval Office today

>> We have nothing to do with Epstein. The

>> We have nothing to do with Epstein The

Democrats do. All of his friends were

Democrats do All of his friends were

Democrats. You look at this Reed

Democrats You look at this Reed

Hoffman. You look at Larry Summers, Bill

Hoffman You look at Larry Summers Bill

Clinton.

Clinton

First of all, are you okay?

First of all are you okay

And second of all, we've tried to look

And second of all we've tried to look

at those people, but every time we do,

at those people but every time we do

your picture comes up.

your picture comes up

But yeah, investigate everyone who had a

But yeah investigate everyone who had a

relationship with Epstein, which

relationship with Epstein which

includes, if we're being honest, you,

includes if we're being honest you

Mr. president. And by the way,

Mr president And by the way

investigate the Democrats and maybe

you'll find out. Yeah, exactly.

you'll find out Yeah exactly

Investigate them all.

Investigate them all

And by the way, while you're out there,

And by the way while you're out there

see if you can find the Democrat who cut

a sweetheart prison deal for Galileain

Maxwell after she told your lawyer she

never saw you do anything wrong. Oh, and

never saw you do anything wrong Oh and

by the way, never saw Jeffrey Epstein do

by the way never saw Jeffrey Epstein do

anything wrong either. Have at it

anything wrong either Have at it

because the perks that Maxwell is

getting in prison would seem sketchy for

a run-of-the-mill white collar

lararssonist, let alone a convicted sex

lararssonist let alone a convicted sex

trafficker.

trafficker

>> Tonight, new details about the list of

>> Tonight new details about the list of

perks that Galain Maxwell is getting

behind bars.

behind bars

>> Private meals and mail delivery,

>> Private meals and mail delivery

cellmates reassign for privacy, special

cellmates reassign for privacy special

visits in the chapel, and the warden

visits in the chapel and the warden

helps her send documents and emails.

helps her send documents and emails

>> The warden.

>> The warden

Hello, warden.

Hello warden

It's Gileain.

It's Gileain

I'm having just an awful time converting

this file to PDF.

this file to PDF

Would you be a dear?

Would you be a dear

Uh, yeah. I'll send the IT guy. Oh, no.

Uh yeah I'll send the IT guy Oh no

You will attend to this personally.

You will attend to this personally

Yes.

Yes

Gizlane,

Gizlane

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry

Yes, Miss I'm sorry. Am I still on the

Yes Miss I'm sorry Am I still on the

phone? Yeah.

phone Yeah

Yes, Miss Maxwell

Yes Miss Maxwell

and scene. All right.

and scene All right

I mean, COME ON. THEING WARDEN.

I mean COME ON THEING WARDEN

And it gets cushier. Literally. One of

And it gets cushier Literally One of

the perks that I think that people may

be surprised that is a perk is the idea

of unlimited toilet paper.

of unlimited toilet paper

>> The audience literally gasps right now.

>> The audience literally gasps right now

>> I've been a free man my whole life. I

>> I've been a free man my whole life I

have never

had unlimited toilet paper. Never in my

had unlimited toilet paper Never in my

life.

life

I wasn't raised that way. But Maxwell,

I wasn't raised that way But Maxwell

she's just wiping and wiping.

she's just wiping and wiping

Hello, WARDEN.

Hello WARDEN

Would you be a deer?

Would you be a deer

Unlimited toilet paper. It does explain

Unlimited toilet paper It does explain

her prison Halloween costume this year.

her prison Halloween costume this year

OH, UNLIMITED.

OH UNLIMITED

IS IT possible that Trump's whole

[ __ ] facade is crumbling? I mean,

__ facade is crumbling I mean

right now, all he can do is distract

right now all he can do is distract

from one lie with what is clearly

another lie. All I want is I want for

another lie All I want is I want for

people to recognize a great job that

I've done on pricing, on affordability.

I've done on pricing on affordability

What planet do you live on? Great job on

What planet do you live on Great job on

affordability. My Taco Bell order is now

affordability My Taco Bell order is now

$72.

By the way, I still round up for the

By the way I still round up for the

children.

children

I don't want you thinking I don't round

up.

This dude is flailing. The normally

This dude is flailing The normally

reliable Trump is even struggling to

deliver on his greatest gift, the

deliver on his greatest gift the

cutting nickname.

cutting nickname

>> Over the weekend, President Trump

>> Over the weekend President Trump

repeatedly going after one of his

closest allies and staunchest defenders,

closest allies and staunchest defenders

Congresswoman Marjgerie Taylor Green,

Congresswoman Marjgerie Taylor Green

>> calling her Marjorie Taylor Brown

because, quote, "green grass turns brown

because quote green grass turns brown

when it begins to rot.

when it begins to rot

You know, I've always said that the best

You know I've always said that the best

nicknames are the ones you have to

explain

in parentheses.

in parentheses

Right, Bubba?

Right Bubba

HEY, BUBBA. HEY, BUBBA. HE'S FROM THE

HEY BUBBA HEY BUBBA HE'S FROM THE

SOUTH AND HE LIKES BEING BLOWN. BUBBA.

SOUTH AND HE LIKES BEING BLOWN BUBBA

But believe me, this is real. This

But believe me this is real This

Epstein thing is no Democrat hoax. And

Epstein thing is no Democrat hoax And

you know it's real because Trump's

allies are working overtime to distract

or in the case of Fox News. Not even to

or in the case of Fox News Not even to

mention when the emails came out, Fox

mention when the emails came out Fox

devoted most of their airtime to such

urgent matters as the socialist takeover

of Seattle, the Treasury phasing out the

of Seattle the Treasury phasing out the

penny, the Northern Lights, the growing

penny the Northern Lights the growing

popularity of Christian music, and as

popularity of Christian music and as

always, Kamla Harris goes crazy for

always Kamla Harris goes crazy for

carbs.

carbs

MOVE OVER ELITE PEDOPHILE RING.

MOVE OVER ELITE PEDOPHILE RING

Kamla has gone Garfield on the lasagna.

Kamla has gone Garfield on the lasagna

My god.

My god

Any other problems with the emails?

Any other problems with the emails

>> Another critique we're hearing from some

Republicans is that these emails are cut

and spliced. They're taken out of

and spliced They're taken out of

context. Some of them are a little bit

context Some of them are a little bit

difficult to decode, if you will.

difficult to decode if you will

>> [ __ ]

>> __

Difficult to decode. Have you read these

Difficult to decode Have you read these

emails? They weren't put together by

emails They weren't put together by

Navajo code talkers.

Navajo code talkers

Here are the emails. Hey Jeffrey, rented

Here are the emails Hey Jeffrey rented

a huge house in Abiza. Invited lots of

a huge house in Abiza Invited lots of

girls from Russia. All models. The scout

girls from Russia All models The scout

used to scout for Trump, but he doesn't

used to scout for Trump but he doesn't

work for him anymore. He's coming with

work for him anymore He's coming with

12 girls and would like to meet you. Or

12 girls and would like to meet you Or

how about this one? I will send you a

how about this one I will send you a

picture of this Burmese girl. Very

picture of this Burmese girl Very

pretty. I will bring her to the US.

pretty I will bring her to the US

Yeah, probably not on an H-1B. Look,

Yeah probably not on an H-1B Look

these emails are explicit and they were

written post Epstein's conviction in

2008. And even then, these motherers

2008 And even then these motherers

felt so invincible that they didn't even

think to try and hide any of it. No

think to try and hide any of it No

mafia, did you take care of that thing?

mafia did you take care of that thing

No. The donuts are in the container. No,

No The donuts are in the container No

even nay on the Earl's gay.

even nay on the Earl's gay

But suddenly the right is all this is

impenetrable.

impenetrable

What language be this?

What language be this

So let's go back and remember how this

wholeing

dance started. Let me take you back to

dance started Let me take you back to

2016 when another batch of emails was

released and MAGA had no trouble busting

out the Dakota rings for those emails.

out the Dakota rings for those emails

The Pizzagate conspiracy began with the

Clinton Wikileaks. The conspiracy theory

Clinton Wikileaks The conspiracy theory

quickly spread to Reddit and YouTube

feeding fake online news stories

alleging a Clinton campaign child sex

ring. Well, that a child that's an

ring Well that a child that's an

incredibly serious charge. And seeing

incredibly serious charge And seeing

how the right doesn't like to jump to

conclusions on emails, I assume that

conclusions on emails I assume that

these emails were pretty concise and

clear about the extent of what would be

a horrific crime. The original source of

a horrific crime The original source of

all this, a leaked email to John

all this a leaked email to John

Podesta, Hillary Clinton's campaign

Podesta Hillary Clinton's campaign

chief. It was from his brother and it

chief It was from his brother and it

said simply, "Would love to get a pizza.

said simply Would love to get a pizza

My god,

My god

could it be any clearer that John

Podesta and his brother are running a

familyowned child sex ring? What else

familyowned child sex ring What else

could would love to get a pizza mean?

could would love to get a pizza mean

That was the famous pizza gate

conspiracy. When people were so obsessed

conspiracy When people were so obsessed

with finding evidence of sex

trafficking, they built a whole code

trafficking they built a whole code

book and applied it to those emails.

book and applied it to those emails

>> What they found were numerous references

to pizza, a term Urban Dictionary says

to pizza a term Urban Dictionary says

is slang for child pornography. So

is slang for child pornography So

somehow they concluded that Podesta and

company were speaking in code. These

company were speaking in code These

conspiracy theorists started saying that

pizza and cheese and pasta were code

words referring in fact to child sex

abuse.

abuse

>> Why did the Podesta emails mention the

code word pasta for either little boy or

sex 78 times?

sex 78 times

>> Why would he mention pasta

78 times other than the fact that he's

Italian?

Italian

He's Italian.

He's Italian

What are you?

What are you

He's Italian.

He's Italian

If you TRY TO TYPE PODESTA INTO YOUR

PHONE, HALF THE TIME IT WILL AUTOCORRECT

PHONE HALF THE TIME IT WILL AUTOCORRECT

TO PASTA.

TO PASTA

If anything, 78 times is low.

If anything 78 times is low

I MEAN, who knows what this dude is

I MEAN who knows what this dude is

into. But mentioning pasta doesn't make

into But mentioning pasta doesn't make

someone a pedophile.

someone a pedophile

Even if it does make them a penny file,

Even if it does make them a penny file

I'm comedian and daily show host John

Stewart.

Stewart

Sometimes it's a challenge for a comedy

show to discuss sex trafficking

networks, so you have to find the jokes

networks so you have to find the jokes

wherever you can.

wherever you can

Generally, that does include pasta puns.

Generally that does include pasta puns

Even if they do make me feel a little

fussily.

fussily

>> But the Pizzagate conspiracy wasn't just

left to grow on its own. People in Mago

left to grow on its own People in Mago

World were very happy to feed that fire.

World were very happy to feed that fire

>> This is tied into Podesta with thousands

of emails.

of emails

>> There were little kids going in and out

of this room.

of this room

>> One or two kids.

>> One or two kids

>> And this is this is a bar.

>> And this is this is a bar

>> Besta Podesta the molesta.

>> Besta Podesta the molesta

>> Qanan. A lot of this stuff these guys

>> Qanan A lot of this stuff these guys

have been talking about comes out to be

true. Pizza gate, as it's called, is a

true Pizza gate as it's called is a

rabbit hole that is horrifying to go

down.

down

>> Yeah, I think if people thought anytime

>> Yeah I think if people thought anytime

someone mentioned pizza, they were

someone mentioned pizza they were

talking about having sex with kids.

talking about having sex with kids

Yeah, that would actually be terrifying

Yeah that would actually be terrifying

because it's the most popular food in

the country. But you know what this [ __ ]

the country But you know what this __

does? It trivializes and tries to

does It trivializes and tries to

politicize what is an actual realing

problem in this country and this world

and has now put those same influencers

in the position to back away from this

in present time with far more explicit

evidence.

evidence

>> This is an an email without any context.

>> This is an an email without any context

Once again, ultimately it's just Epstein

Once again ultimately it's just Epstein

trying to pull Trump in and implicate

him.

him

>> And they've been over him. They've been

>> And they've been over him They've been

cherrypicked. They know it's there. It's

cherrypicked They know it's there It's

all old stuff. So, it's just more

all old stuff So it's just more

gaslighting, more deception. AS I'VE

gaslighting more deception AS I'VE

ALWAYS SAID, CONTEXT IS IMPORTANT.

ALWAYS SAID CONTEXT IS IMPORTANT

AS I SAY ON MY SHOW EVERY DAY, THE TRUTH

AS I SAY ON MY SHOW EVERY DAY THE TRUTH

IS OFTEN TIMES NUANCED.

IS OFTEN TIMES NUANCED

That's why you GOT TO BE REAL CAREFUL

WITH THIS [ __ ]

WITH THIS __

And as for Bannon, through these emails,

And as for Bannon through these emails

we've learned he was working with

Epstein to figure out ways he could

rehabilitate Epstein's image. It's

rehabilitate Epstein's image It's

amazing. With these Podesta emails, it

amazing With these Podesta emails it

was all they were the Enigma machine

decoding everything. But these Epstein

decoding everything But these Epstein

emails now are a New York Times

crossword puzzle from a Monday.

crossword puzzle from a Monday

You can figure this [ __ ] out in ink.

You can figure this __ out in ink

In fact, the only guy the only guy

In fact the only guy the only guy

the only guy that I have to give props

to is Alan Dersuitz. Not for moral

to is Alan Dersuitz Not for moral

integrity, but this dude's been on

integrity but this dude's been on

Epstein's team from the get-go, and he's

Epstein's team from the get-go and he's

sticking with it.

sticking with it

>> He pleaded guilty to one count of having

sex for money with a 17 and year and

10-month-old person. That's not

10-month-old person That's not

pedophile.

pedophile

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah

>> Little little rule of rule of thumb for

everyone out there. If you ever find

everyone out there If you ever find

yourself counting anyone's age in

months,

months

Chances are the person you're describing

is still a child. But maybe the most

is still a child But maybe the most

shocking thing about this, and I cannot

shocking thing about this and I cannot

stress this enough, convicted sex

stress this enough convicted sex

trafficker, is the extent of his social

trafficker is the extent of his social

network.

network

>> We mentioned some of the emails between

Epstein and writer Michael Wolf.

Epstein and writer Michael Wolf

>> Epstein emailed he received a gift from

Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman.

Saudi Crown Prince Mohammad bin Salman

Contacts include liberal academic nom

chsky

>> eub barak and Larry Summers and Deepac

Chopra

>> Sununi Preven Woody Allen's wife

>> Landon Thomas of the New York Times the

former Prince Andrew

>> Kenar Peter Teal look at the names in

these emails you get Democrats

Republicans Silicon Valley billionaire

spiritual thought leaders you got an

Israeli prime minister and the crown

prince of Saudi Arabia. My god, the

prince of Saudi Arabia My god the

range.

range

What it tells you is that a certain

stratosphere, the petty differences of

stratosphere the petty differences of

class and race and religion fade away.

class and race and religion fade away

We're left and right, Jew, Arab, and

We're left and right Jew Arab and

Christian, ultra rich, and oh my god, is

Christian ultra rich and oh my god is

that a rocket rich,

that a rocket rich

find common ground and show us that we

can live in peaceful coexistence.

can live in peaceful coexistence

It would be almost beautiful

if not for the SEX TRAFFICKING PART.

if not for the SEX TRAFFICKING PART

OH MY GOD. ELITE SEX TRAFFICKING RING.

OH MY GOD ELITE SEX TRAFFICKING RING

IS there anything you can't spoil? And

IS there anything you can't spoil And

I'm not saying these people are all in

the ring, but Epstein was a convicted

the ring but Epstein was a convicted

sex offender at the time of these

emails. And of course, mentioned in

emails And of course mentioned in

these emails more than anyone else, more

these emails more than anyone else more

than 1600 times is Donald Trump. Is that

than 1600 times is Donald Trump Is that

evidence of his guilt? No. But it shows

evidence of his guilt No But it shows

that he's a part of that world. And

that he's a part of that world And

certainly the circumstantial evidence

points to his understanding of what was

occurring.

occurring

But if there are more of you out there

that need definitive proof,

that need definitive proof

perhaps this will convince you.

perhaps this will convince you

>> It's wrong, isn't it?

>> It's wrong isn't it

>> But it feels so right.

>> But it feels so right

>> Then it's a deal.

>> Then it's a deal

>> Yes, we eat our pizza the wrong way.

>> Yes we eat our pizza the wrong way

>> Crust first. Introducing Step Crust

>> Crust first Introducing Step Crust

Pizza from Pizza Hut.

Pizza from Pizza Hut

>> Oh my god, THEY'RE DOING ANAL.

>> Oh my god THEY'RE DOING ANAL

WE'VE LEARNED A lot in the last week

about the monsters that Jeffrey Epstein

surrounded himself with, but let's not

surrounded himself with but let's not

forget he also surrounded himself with

totaling losers. Harvard professor and

totaling losers Harvard professor and

former Treasury Secretary under Bill

Clinton, Larry Summers. On Monday night,

Clinton Larry Summers On Monday night

Summers said he is stepping back from

public commitments after messages

between him and Epstein were released

where he asked the sex offender for

advice about pursuing a young woman he

described as his mentee. And Epstein

described as his mentee And Epstein

described himself as Summer's wingman.

described himself as Summer's wingman

Wow. Really? I can't believe this guy

Wow Really I can't believe this guy

needed help getting laid.

needed help getting laid

>> Why are you asking Jeffrey Epstein to be

your wingman? You were the president of

your wingman You were the president of

Harvard. Larry Summers just asked

Harvard Larry Summers just asked

Harvard to do a study on how to make

youable.

youable

And and by the way, Larry Summers is

And and by the way Larry Summers is

married, but he's all over these emails

married but he's all over these emails

asking Epstein about girls like he just

got his first pube.

got his first pube

>> On March 16th, 2019, Summers wrote, "We

>> On March 16th 2019 Summers wrote We

talked on phone." I said, "What are you

talked on phone I said What are you

up to?" She said, "I'm busy." I said,

up to She said I'm busy I said

"Awfully koi you are." Tone was not of

Awfully koi you are Tone was not of

good feeling.

good feeling

Tone was not of good feeling.

Tone was not of good feeling

Awfully koi you are. Here's a tip on

Awfully koi you are Here's a tip on

girls. Uh, they don't like guys who talk

girls Uh they don't like guys who talk

like Yoda.

like Yoda

And if you're wondering when did Larry

Summers stop emailing Jeffrey Epstein

about women, the answer is up until he

about women the answer is up until he

couldn't. In June of 2019, Summers asked

couldn't In June of 2019 Summers asked

Epstein about the chances of getting

quote horizontal with a woman. Epstein

quote horizontal with a woman Epstein

responded that Summers needed to play

the long game. Epstein was arrested soon

the long game Epstein was arrested soon

after.

after

Yeah, I kind of actually feel a little

Yeah I kind of actually feel a little

bad for Jeffrey Epstein. I mean, the

bad for Jeffrey Epstein I mean the

walls are closing in on him at this

point, and he still has to teach this

point and he still has to teach this

dork game.

dork game

He's like texting, uh, it's hot to talk,

He's like texting uh it's hot to talk

uh, hiding from feds.

uh hiding from feds

Keep negging.

Keep negging

But Epstein emails are just a gross

appetizer here. Everyone is still

appetizer here Everyone is still

waiting for the disgusting main course,

waiting for the disgusting main course

the DOJ's Epstein files. For months,

the DOJ's Epstein files For months

Trump has done everything he can to

prevent the release of these files. He's

prevent the release of these files He's

tried persuading Republicans not to vote

for it. Then he tried threatening them.

for it Then he tried threatening them

Uh he th then he tried pointing up at

the sky and going, "Whoa, what's over

the sky and going Whoa what's over

there? What is that?" But nobody looked

there What is that But nobody looked

except for Tommy Tuberville, who is

except for Tommy Tuberville who is

actually still looking.

actually still looking

But when it became clear that the House

was going to ignore Trump and vote to

release the Epstein files anyway, Trump

release the Epstein files anyway Trump

backtracked and said, "Oh, yeah, yeah,

backtracked and said Oh yeah yeah

yeah, yeah. Do that. That's that's also

yeah yeah Do that That's that's also

what I want." Which is why today the

what I want Which is why today the

vote passed unanimously.

vote passed unanimously

Almost.

Almost

>> In a rare show of unity, the vote was

>> In a rare show of unity the vote was

427 to1. Louisiana Republican

427 to1 Louisiana Republican

Congressman Klay Higgins the only member

voting against this bill.

voting against this bill

>> Okay. Does Klay Higgins represent the

>> Okay Does Klay Higgins represent the

third congressional district of Epstein

Island?

Island

Who even is this guy?

Who even is this guy

Oh,

okay. That makes sense. Uh,

okay That makes sense Uh

now I believe this is a guy who would

vote to block the Epstein files. I mean,

vote to block the Epstein files I mean

he doesn't need the DOJ to release them.

he doesn't need the DOJ to release them

He's just going to steal them from

Indiana Jones later.

Indiana Jones later

But aside from him, all the House

But aside from him all the House

Republicans voted against Trump. Uh,

Republicans voted against Trump Uh

even his most ardent supporter,

even his most ardent supporter

Marjgerie Taylor Green, Georgia

Marjgerie Taylor Green Georgia

representative and woman who just

started taking her meds.

started taking her meds

Trump was so mad he called her a traitor

this weekend. And I bet that got her

this weekend And I bet that got her

back in line.

back in line

>> I was called a traitor by a man that I

fought for five, no, actually six years

fought for five no actually six years

for. Let me tell you what a traitor is.

for Let me tell you what a traitor is

A traitor is a is an American that

serves foreign countries.

serves foreign countries

and themselves.

and themselves

>> Okay. What the is happening

>> Okay What the is happening

with Marjgery Taylor Green? Did she get

with Marjgery Taylor Green Did she get

the severance surgery? Was she

the severance surgery Was she

was she bit by a radioactive Rachel

Madd? Like

Madd Like

she's she's she's getting so liberal

that a month from now she's going to be

performing on NPR's tiny desk.

performing on NPR's tiny desk

I mean, and how dare she how dare she

I mean and how dare she how dare she

imply that Trump serves foreign

countries. Okay, the president is out

countries Okay the president is out

here every day thinking about America

first.

first

>> President Trump rolled out the red

carpet for Saudi Crown Prince Muhammad

bin Salman.

bin Salman

>> Okay, look,

>> Okay look

sometimes America first means Saudi

Arabia first.

Arabia first

But so what? He wrote out a red carpet

But so what He wrote out a red carpet

for NBS. It's not like Trump is

for NBS It's not like Trump is

endorsing everything he's done.

endorsing everything he's done

>> Your loyal highness, the US intelligence

>> Your loyal highness the US intelligence

concluded that you orchestrated the

brutal murder of a journalist.

brutal murder of a journalist

>> You're mentioning somebody that was

extremely controversial. A lot of people

extremely controversial A lot of people

didn't like that gentleman that you're

talking about. Whether you like him or

talking about Whether you like him or

didn't like him, things happened. But he

didn't like him things happened But he

knew nothing about it. And we can leave

knew nothing about it And we can leave

it at that. You don't have to embarrass

it at that You don't have to embarrass

our guest by asking a question like

that.

that

>> Yeah. Hey. Hey, shut up.

>> Yeah Hey Hey shut up

A little etiquette, please.

A little etiquette please

This man is a guest in our country. Why

This man is a guest in our country Why

are you asking him about the journalists

he bones sawed? It's like no one has

he bones sawed It's like no one has

manners anymore. Trump is dealing with a

manners anymore Trump is dealing with a

lot of [ __ ] right now. Okay, he lost the

lot of __ right now Okay he lost the

Epstein vote. They're being mean to his

Epstein vote They're being mean to his

best friend. One more reasonable

best friend One more reasonable

question and he's going to lose it.

question and he's going to lose it

>> Mr. President, why wait for Congress to

>> Mr President why wait for Congress to

release the Epstein files? Why not just

release the Epstein files Why not just

do it now?

do it now

>> You know, it's not the question that I

>> You know it's not the question that I

mind. It's your attitude. I think you

mind It's your attitude I think you

are a terrible reporter. Uh it's the way

are a terrible reporter Uh it's the way

you ask these questions. You start off

you ask these questions You start off

with a man who's highly respected asking

him a horrible uh insubordinate and and

just a terrible question. And you could

just a terrible question And you could

even ask that same exact question

nicely. You're all psyched. Somebody

nicely You're all psyched Somebody

psych you over at ABC. They're going to

psych you over at ABC They're going to

psych it. Uh

psych it Uh

you're a terrible person and a terrible

reporter.

reporter

Well, I hope you guys are happy.

Well I hope you guys are happy

Would it have killed you to ask NBS

about the murder nicely?

about the murder nicely

Just a little, excuse me, Crown Prince,

Just a little excuse me Crown Prince

would you be so kind as to stop

murdering my colleagues? Pretty please.

murdering my colleagues Pretty please

Please.

Please

And as for releasing the Epstein files,

And as for releasing the Epstein files

Donald Trump's position has been very

clear. Kind of.

clear Kind of

>> I just want to be super clear on your

position. Do you want to see that pass

position Do you want to see that pass

the Senate? Would you sign that bill if

the Senate Would you sign that bill if

it gets to your desk?

it gets to your desk

>> Sure, I would. Let the Let the Senate

>> Sure I would Let the Let the Senate

look at it. Let anybody look at it, but

look at it Let anybody look at it but

don't talk about it too much because

honestly, I don't want to take it away

honestly I don't want to take it away

from us. It's really a Democrat problem.

from us It's really a Democrat problem

>> It's a Democrat problem. So, you don't

>> It's a Democrat problem So you don't

want to talk about it to help them?

want to talk about it to help them

That's nice.

That's nice

Yesterday was a big day at the White

House because Donald Trump got to have a

play date with Muhammad bin Salman, the

play date with Muhammad bin Salman the

crown prince of Saudi Arabia and

allaround great guy who definitely

doesn't hold a grudge and I Ronnie Ch

have no problems with

and the two of them couldn't keep

Trump's hand off each other.

Trump's hand off each other

>> We've worked with all presidents.

>> We've worked with all presidents

>> Does Trump blow them all away?

>> Does Trump blow them all away

>> That would be the lead, Mr. President.

>> That would be the lead Mr President

>> Thank you, Mr. Mr. President.

>> Thank you Mr Mr President

>> And Trump doesn't give a fist pump.

>> And Trump doesn't give a fist pump

I grabbed that hand. I don't give a hell

I grabbed that hand I don't give a hell

where that hand's been. I grabbed that

where that hand's been I grabbed that

hand.

hand

What the hell was that?

What the hell was that

That was the worst handshake I've ever

seen. That was like the 9/11 of

seen That was like the 9/11 of

handshakes. And

handshakes And

once again, Saudi Arabia is involved.

once again Saudi Arabia is involved

Okay. Uh and Trump, why are you

Okay Uh and Trump why are you

wondering where his hand has been?

wondering where his hand has been

You're the one whose hand is

decomposing. I mean,

decomposing I mean

now you might be wondering, wait, how is

now you might be wondering wait how is

Donald Trump best friends with NBS?

Donald Trump best friends with NBS

Isn't Trump the Muslim ban guy? Didn't

Isn't Trump the Muslim ban guy Didn't

he just spend a month calling Zora

Mandani a terrorist? Well, the

Mandani a terrorist Well the

difference is that Zora Mandani is a

Shia Muslim whose family comes from

Uganda by way of India, whereas NBS is

Uganda by way of India whereas NBS is

giving Trump money. The Trump

giving Trump money The Trump

Organization already has multiple

projects in Saudi Arabia, including

projects in Saudi Arabia including

Trump Towers in Jedha and Riad, and a

Trump Towers in Jedha and Riad and a

Trump Plaza in the works. In the last

Trump Plaza in the works In the last

year alone, the Trump Organization Saudi

year alone the Trump Organization Saudi

partner pumping more than $20 million

partner pumping more than 20 million

into the family business.

into the family business

>> Wow. Three Trump Towers in Saudi Arabia.

>> Wow Three Trump Towers in Saudi Arabia

See, America can up your skyline, too.

See America can up your skyline too

But enough about collusion between

global elites. Let's move on to the

global elites Let's move on to the

Epstein files. YEAH.

Epstein files YEAH

WHERE MY app heads at?

WHERE MY app heads at

Just me. Uh,

Just me Uh

yesterday the House of Representatives

voted to release the files thanks to

brave Republicans like Nancy Mace, who

brave Republicans like Nancy Mace who

was very clear about not being a part of

the Epstein network. The Epstein email

the Epstein network The Epstein email

suggests that in fact there is a

widespread code among people with power

and money who support one another. Does

and money who support one another Does

that exist in Washington?

that exist in Washington

I I'm not part of the powerful. I'm not

I I'm not part of the powerful I'm not

part of the elite. I'm an island of one.

part of the elite I'm an island of one

I don't get invited to parties. I don't

I don't get invited to parties I don't

have any friends. I have a dog.

have any friends I have a dog

Wait, are you are you fishing for an

Wait are you are you fishing for an

invite to the sex party?

invite to the sex party

Like, why did you make not being a part

Like why did you make not being a part

of a pedophile ring sounds so sad? Like,

of a pedophile ring sounds so sad Like

that's a middle ground between Epstein

Island and Friendless Loser. like

Island and Friendless Loser like

walk the middle path. Um I mean she

walk the middle path Um I mean she

doesn't go to parties, she doesn't have

doesn't go to parties she doesn't have

friends. She does have a dog, but after

friends She does have a dog but after

a day with her, even the dog's like,

a day with her even the dog's like

"Where's Christine Gnome when you need

Where's Christine Gnome when you need

her?"

her

But thanks to these Republicans,

But thanks to these Republicans

the House voted to release the Epstein

files. And I just cannot believe this is

files And I just cannot believe this is

going to happen. Trump has been trying

going to happen Trump has been trying

to stop us from seeing these files for

months now. I mean, they must have some

months now I mean they must have some

plan to drag this thing out.

plan to drag this thing out

>> House Speaker Mike Johnson says he

expects the Senate to amend the bill,

expects the Senate to amend the bill

which would then send it back to the

House.

House

>> Of course, that's the plan. Yeah, it's

>> Of course that's the plan Yeah it's

obvious they're going to let it pass the

House because they know it will go to

the Senate, aka where the legislation

the Senate aka where the legislation

and senators go to die.

and senators go to die

>> Breaking tonight in Washington DC, the

>> Breaking tonight in Washington DC the

Senate has unanimously agreed to pass

the bill to release the Epstein files.

the bill to release the Epstein files

>> Wait, what? Wait,

>> Wait what Wait

wait, wait, hang on, hang on. Wait. How

wait wait hang on hang on Wait How

How the did it pass this fast? I thought

How the did it pass this fast I thought

a bill in the Senate had to go through

amendments and committees and floor

votes and Mitch McConnell's neck folds

and and they have to add some unrelated

earmarks that somehow make Lindsey

Graham millions of dollars. Like, how do

Graham millions of dollars Like how do

they get around all that? Senate

they get around all that Senate

Democrats pressured their Republican

counterparts to pass the Epstein Files

Transparency Act by something that's

called unanimous consent. Meaning the

called unanimous consent Meaning the

Senate accepts the House version of the

bill as written.

bill as written

>> Wait, you can do that?

>> Wait you can do that

Unanimous consent? Well, then why don't

Unanimous consent Well then why don't

you do that with every bill? I mean,

you do that with every bill I mean

does it only work on bills with

Epstein's name? In that case, we might

Epstein's name In that case we might

need to pass the Jeffrey Epstein

Universal Healthcare Epstein Act

FEATURING JEFFREY EPSTEIN.

FEATURING JEFFREY EPSTEIN

NO, DON'T.

NO DON'T

Why are you cheering Jeffrey Epstein?

Why are you cheering Jeffrey Epstein

But back to this bill. There's no way

But back to this bill There's no way

they're going to let this pass. Okay.

they're going to let this pass Okay

Yeah, I got through the House and

Yeah I got through the House and

Senate, but I'm sure Donald Trump will

Senate but I'm sure Donald Trump will

veto this bill as soon as it reaches his

desk. President Donald Trump says he's

desk President Donald Trump says he's

ready to sign the bill as soon as it

reaches his desk.

reaches his desk

>> Wait, my god. What the hell is happening

>> Wait my god What the hell is happening

here? Is Trump really going to release

here Is Trump really going to release

the Epstein files? He's not going to

the Epstein files He's not going to

burn them or hide them or put them on

Baron's head so no one can reach them.

Baron's head so no one can reach them

I I can't believe this. Look, there's

I I can't believe this Look there's

just no way that this man is going to

release the Epstein files that he is in.

release the Epstein files that he is in

I mean, he must have a plan to get out

I mean he must have a plan to get out

of this. We should note the legislation

of this We should note the legislation

as it stands clearly says quote the

attorney general may withhold or redact

personally identifiable information of

victims or victim's personal and medical

files and any material that would

jeopardize an active investigation or

national security. Yeah, there we go.

national security Yeah there we go

See, that's how they're going to keep

See that's how they're going to keep

these files secret. National security,

these files secret National security

America's go-to justification. It stops

America's go-to justification It stops

us from bringing shampoo on a plane. It

us from bringing shampoo on a plane It

puts terrorists on bananas. And soon it

puts terrorists on bananas And soon it

can prevent you from seeing if the

president is a pedophile. And by the

president is a pedophile And by the

time Pam Bondi is done with these files,

time Pam Bondi is done with these files

they'll be more censored than the

airplane version of Anora. Now,

airplane version of Anora Now

I'm I'm not saying we'll never see the

Epstein files. I'm not saying we will.

Epstein files I'm not saying we will

All I'm saying is we need to find other

clues that the president inappropriately

touches people.

touches people

Last night, Trump signed the Epstein

Last night Trump signed the Epstein

File Transparency Act into law. It was

File Transparency Act into law It was

the first step towards proving that

there's no connection between him and

Jeffrey Epstein. Unfortunately, he

Jeffrey Epstein Unfortunately he

signed the bill like this.

signed the bill like this

Not again.

Not again

So, now this bill is a law. It's fully

So now this bill is a law It's fully

legal, or as Megan Kelly would probably

legal or as Megan Kelly would probably

call it, 16.

call it 16

In the meantime, Pam Bondi has opened a

In the meantime Pam Bondi has opened a

new investigation into Epstein's

relationships with Democrats. And it's

relationships with Democrats And it's

not just because Trump ordered her to on

Twitter for the whole world to see. No,

Twitter for the whole world to see No

that's not why. She had a perfectly good

that's not why She had a perfectly good

explanation for that that she's not

nervous about at all.

nervous about at all

>> What changed uh since then that you

launched this investigation?

launched this investigation

>> Information that has come for

information. Um there's information that

information Um there's information that

new information, additional information

new information additional information

Perfect answer.

Perfect answer

It was perfect. What? What? What part of

It was perfect What What What part of

information in the information? Well,

information in the information Well

you got information. Do you not

you got information Do you not

understand?

understand

Also at the briefing was FBI chief

podcaster Cash Patel, who

podcaster Cash Patel who

seems to think that if he stands still

long enough, we won't notice that he's a

long enough we won't notice that he's a

part of this whole thing.

part of this whole thing

I mean,

I mean

I've heard of a thousand yard stare, but

I've heard of a thousand yard stare but

this dude looks like he could see to

China right now.

China right now

Hey, Cash, could you check in on my

Hey Cash could you check in on my

family in Malaysia while you're at it? I

family in Malaysia while you're at it I

mean, what's my mom doing?

mean what's my mom doing

Actually, no. Don't Don't look at my

Actually no Don't Don't look at my

mom. But Pam Bondi isn't the only Trump

mom But Pam Bondi isn't the only Trump

official investigating Democrats and

[ __ ] it up. We also got Lindseay

__ it up We also got Lindseay

Halagan whom Trump made his personal

lawyer after he saw her on a golf course

in a suit, which sounds like a joke, but

in a suit which sounds like a joke but

it's not. She's now a US attorney

it's not She's now a US attorney

leading his crusade against James Comey,

leading his crusade against James Comey

and she's crushing it.

and she's crushing it

>> The case against former FBI director

James Comey may be in jeopardy. Lindseay

James Comey may be in jeopardy Lindseay

Halligan, the inexperienced prosecutor

Halligan the inexperienced prosecutor

President Trump handpicked for the job,

President Trump handpicked for the job

but it was never tried a criminal case,

but it was never tried a criminal case

admitted she never showed the entire

grand jury the indictment it was

supposed to have approved.

supposed to have approved

>> It's a mistake that could end up getting

the case thrown out entirely.

the case thrown out entirely

>> It turns out the unqualified lawyered up

the case. I mean,

the case I mean

this is how Legally Blonde would have

gone if it was real.

gone if it was real

It's like, uh, well, I've never tried

It's like uh well I've never tried

the case before, but I'm going to do my

the case before but I'm going to do my

best. Case dismissed, you are disbarred.

best Case dismissed you are disbarred

Roll credit.

Roll credit

In her defense, how is she supposed to

In her defense how is she supposed to

know? She has to show the indictment to

know She has to show the indictment to

the whole grand jury. Okay, they almost

the whole grand jury Okay they almost

never show that part on suits.

never show that part on suits

But let's move on to one of Trump's

friends who never gets anything wrong,

friends who never gets anything wrong

Elon Musk. He's been away for a while,

Elon Musk He's been away for a while

but this week he was back at the White

House for a state dinner. And I'm glad

House for a state dinner And I'm glad

Trump and Elon made up because love him

or hate him, Elon is the richest guy in

or hate him Elon is the richest guy in

the world, so you have to love him. And

the world so you have to love him And

if you doubt Elon's greatness, just ask

if you doubt Elon's greatness just ask

his own AI.

his own AI

>> After some apparent reprogramming, Elon

>> After some apparent reprogramming Elon

Musk's Grock AI is now telling users

that Musk ranks among the top 10 minds

in history, rivaling Da Vinci or Newton.

in history rivaling Da Vinci or Newton

Grock also claims that Musk's lean and

wiry physique, while not Olympian,

wiry physique while not Olympian

places him in the upper echelons and

that he edges out LeBron James in quote

holistic fitness.

holistic fitness

That's right.

That's right

Elon Musk is in better shape than LeBron

James.

James

And that shape is trapezoid.

And that shape is trapezoid

I mean, AI is everywhere. When it came

I mean AI is everywhere When it came

time this week to speak to troops about

AI warfare, Trump sent the obvious

AI warfare Trump sent the obvious

choice from the White House to do it.

choice from the White House to do it

>> First Lady Melania Trump offering a

warning about the impacts of AI on the

battlefield.

battlefield

>> Melania Trump,

>> Melania Trump

what is the first lady doing talking

about AI and warfare? I mean, she should

about AI and warfare I mean she should

be doing normal first lady things like

calling kids fat or calling kids

druggies or calling kids stupid. But,

druggies or calling kids stupid But

okay, let's see what she has to say

okay let's see what she has to say

about this.

about this

>> AI will alter war more profoundly than

any technology since nuclear weapons.

any technology since nuclear weapons

The shift from soldiers to machines is

already underway.

already underway

Auton autonomous helicopters,

Auton autonomous helicopters

swarming drones, and recon aircraft are

swarming drones and recon aircraft are

here now.

here now

Fighterless jets and autonomous bombers

are on the way. Happy Thanksgiving.

are on the way Happy Thanksgiving

Thank you.

Thank you

Wow. Uh,

Wow Uh

the new Terminator movie is weird as

hell. I mean, I

hell I mean I

I can't even tell if she's for or

against this future

that she's describing. Like, maybe she's

that she's describing Like maybe she's

just waiting to see who wins and then

declare her allegiance. She's like, "The

declare her allegiance She's like The

robots will destroy us." And that good

robots will destroy us And that good

or bad, we'll see.

or bad we'll see

And finally, big news from the Secretary

And finally big news from the Secretary

of Transportation, Shawn Duffy. The FAA

of Transportation Shawn Duffy The FAA

has had a lot of problems recently.

has had a lot of problems recently

Worker shortages, system failures,

Worker shortages system failures

mixing up the sky and the ground. But

mixing up the sky and the ground But

luckily, Sean's got a solution that will

luckily Sean's got a solution that will

fix everything.

fix everything

>> The Department of Transportation is

urging airline passengers to be on our

best behavior.

best behavior

>> Let's bring civility and manners back.

>> Let's bring civility and manners back

Ask yourself, are you helping a pregnant

Ask yourself are you helping a pregnant

woman put her bag in the overhead bin?

woman put her bag in the overhead bin

Are you dressing with respect? Are you

Are you dressing with respect Are you

saying thank you to your flight

attendants and your pilots? Are you

attendants and your pilots Are you

saying please and thank you in general?

saying please and thank you in general

Are manners the most important thing for

the FAA to be dealing with right now?

the FAA to be dealing with right now

This would be like if in the middle of

Vietnam, Henry Kissinger said, "Hey

Vietnam Henry Kissinger said Hey

everyone, just here to say chew with

everyone just here to say chew with

your mouth closed." Okay,

your mouth closed Okay

but Duffy's right. We should all be more

but Duffy's right We should all be more

civilized, including the president who

civilized including the president who

just today posted, "Hang the Democrats."

just today posted Hang the Democrats

Does that sound polite to you? No. It

Does that sound polite to you No It

should be, "Please hang the Democrats."

should be Please hang the Democrats

Thank you.

Thank you

But they are really committing to this

civility campaign. They even released a

civility campaign They even released a

whole video about how they want to take

air travel back to the golden age.

air travel back to the golden age

>> Come fly with me. Let's fly. Let's fly

>> Come fly with me Let's fly Let's fly

away.

away

Air travel is a miracle of American

ingenuity. We respected the dignity of

ingenuity We respected the dignity of

air travel and the men and women who

made the dream possible. Flying was a

made the dream possible Flying was a

bastion of civility. But today,

bastion of civility But today

>> let's go.

>> let's go

>> Yeah. Get him. [ __ ] him up.

>> Yeah Get him __ him up

Hey, I mean, it's not it's nice to see

Hey I mean it's not it's nice to see

Americans being physically active.

Americans being physically active

I know flying isn't as classy as it was

in the 1950s, but at least with these

in the 1950s but at least with these

passengers, 9/11 is not going to happen

passengers 9/11 is not going to happen

again. All right? Cuz no way a bunch of

again All right Cuz no way a bunch of

terrorists can defeat four angry Kairens

in their pajamas.

in their pajamas

They're going to be like, "I got a box

They're going to be like I got a box

cutter, too, [ __ ]

cutter too __

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