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i was in new york for like a week and
i was in new york for like a week and
then i went back to la
then i went back to la
and then i lasted in l.a for probably
and then i lasted in la for probably
four days
four days
and then i just couldn't do it anymore
and then i just couldn't do it anymore
and would you look at that i'm back in
and would you look at that i'm back in
new york
new york
not even a week later
not even a week later
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i just can't stay away
i just can't stay away
i love it here i feel like i live here
i love it here i feel like i live here
i've been in new york more days
i've been in new york more days
this month than i've been in la and i
this month than i've been in la and i
love it so this morning i got into new
love it so this morning i got into new
york at 6 a.m and i immediately went to
york at 6 am and i immediately went to
my airbnb because i had this whole
my airbnb because i had this whole
concept where i wanted to rent an airbnb
concept where i wanted to rent an airbnb
i wanted to rent an apartment in new
i wanted to rent an apartment in new
york because i wanted to really
york because i wanted to really
experience
experience
what it's like being a new york local
what it's like being a new york local
you know i wanted to go grocery shopping
you know i wanted to go grocery shopping
live in a traditional apartment i wanted
live in a traditional apartment i wanted
to really experience new york as new
to really experience new york as new
york rather than
york rather than
experiencing new york through the lens
experiencing new york through the lens
of a hotel room because it's just not
of a hotel room because it's just not
the same like the fact that i can call
the same like the fact that i can call
the
the
front desk at any time and say hey can i
front desk at any time and say hey can i
have a glass of water like that's not
have a glass of water like that's not
good okay so i was like you know what
good okay so i was like you know what
i'm gonna book an airbnb
i'm gonna book an airbnb
and i'm going to stay in a real new york
and i'm going to stay in a real new york
apartment for a week
apartment for a week
test it out see how it feels
test it out see how it feels
who knows anyway get to the airbnb this
who knows anyway get to the airbnb this
morning there's all these instructions
morning there's all these instructions
on how to open the gate and then how to
on how to open the gate and then how to
open the front door and
open the front door and
you know the whole thing all of it was
you know the whole thing all of it was
very complicated for some reason and
very complicated for some reason and
took like 20 minutes
took like 20 minutes
to figure out finally once i unlocked
to figure out finally once i unlocked
all the doors and i was inside the
all the doors and i was inside the
apartment i realized that the apartment
apartment i realized that the apartment
was not
was not
what it was advertised online the
what it was advertised online the
photographs versus the reality were so
photographs versus the reality were so
incredibly different that i had to leave
incredibly different that i had to leave
unfortunately so
unfortunately so
now i'm in a hotel
now i'm in a hotel
so they're like i
so they're like i
listened i tried
listened i tried
to experience a real new york experience
to experience a real new york experience
if anybody wants to get mad at me and
if anybody wants to get mad at me and
say emma how do you know that you love
say emma how do you know that you love
new york how do you know that you want
new york how do you know that you want
to move to new york all you do is stay
to move to new york all you do is stay
in hotels
in hotels
nobody's ever said that to me by the way
nobody's ever said that to me by the way
for those imaginary people who are
for those imaginary people who are
making that argument i did try and it
making that argument i did try and it
didn't go as planned um and now i'm in a
didn't go as planned um and now i'm in a
hotel
hotel
part of me feels like i'm weak you know
part of me feels like i'm weak you know
what i mean like am i just weak
what i mean like am i just weak
am i just kind of a [ __ ]
am i just kind of a  __
i didn't take any photos of it i didn't
i didn't take any photos of it i didn't
document any part of that experience i
document any part of that experience i
was like i just want to get out of here
was like i just want to get out of here
everybody wants to see a photo of what
everybody wants to see a photo of what
it looks like my mom my dad i'm like no
it looks like my mom my dad i'm like no
you guys i couldn't stay in there for
you guys i couldn't stay in there for
more than
more than
0.5 seconds i had to go the silver
05 seconds i had to go the silver
lining of the whole thing is that i
lining of the whole thing is that i
decided to stay in a random hotel that
decided to stay in a random hotel that
i've never stayed at before to my
i've never stayed at before to my
surprise it was right across the street
surprise it was right across the street
from a trader joe's
from a trader joe's
i didn't really get anything that fun if
i didn't really get anything that fun if
i'm being honest i got some overnight
i'm being honest i got some overnight
oats you know spicy hummus i got a bunch
oats you know spicy hummus i got a bunch
of blueberries because okay i've been
of blueberries because okay i've been
really into strawberries recently
really into strawberries recently
they've been in season and they've been
they've been in season and they've been
delicious but for whatever reason
delicious but for whatever reason
my strawberry face is morphing into a
my strawberry face is morphing into a
blueberry phase
blueberry phase
so like now i'm really into blueberries
so like now i'm really into blueberries
and i bought
and i bought
three of these and i can guarantee that
three of these and i can guarantee that
they will be gone by tomorrow i eat like
they will be gone by tomorrow i eat like
one of these every hour i i swear to god
one of these every hour i i swear to god
whatever i got some raspberries
whatever i got some raspberries
carrot it nobody gives a [ __ ]
carrot it nobody gives a  __
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[Music]
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so
so
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[Applause]
Applause
[Music]
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[Applause]
Applause
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[Music]
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my idea of unwinding is
my idea of unwinding is
eating
eating
fruit in bed
fruit in bed
the weather in new york is so perfect
the weather in new york is so perfect
right now it's like 73 degrees it's
right now it's like 73 degrees it's
perfect and that's not good for me
perfect and that's not good for me
because being in new york when it's 73
because being in new york when it's 73
degrees is so incredible that it makes
degrees is so incredible that it makes
me want to move here the problem is
me want to move here the problem is
is that
is that
it's giving me a false sense of reality
it's giving me a false sense of reality
here because the wintertime is brutal
here because the wintertime is brutal
here
here
but
but
right now
right now
all i'm seeing and all i'm experiencing
all i'm seeing and all i'm experiencing
is new york when it's 73 degrees
is new york when it's 73 degrees
so it's hard for my brain to imagine it
so it's hard for my brain to imagine it
being winter time here i just need to
being winter time here i just need to
remind myself constantly that this is
remind myself constantly that this is
not how the weather is all year round
not how the weather is all year round
ah
ah
this is my second box of blueberries of
this is my second box of blueberries of
the day
the day
that i've eaten
that i've eaten
they're hitting
they're hitting
they're hitting right now i'm
they're hitting right now i'm
contemplating whether or not
contemplating whether or not
i go out to dinner i'm not gonna lie i'm
i go out to dinner i'm not gonna lie i'm
pretty exhausted the thought of going
pretty exhausted the thought of going
out to dinner
out to dinner
i think i just ate a moldy one one of
i think i just ate a moldy one one of
the blueberries just kind of tasted like
the blueberries just kind of tasted like
cheese just like a little bit i'm kind
cheese just like a little bit i'm kind
of at a crossroads here like i have
of at a crossroads here like i have
enough food in my room where i could
enough food in my room where i could
in
in
theory make a full meal
theory make a full meal
like in my room i could in theory do
like in my room i could in theory do
that but it's gonna be a little bit
that but it's gonna be a little bit
depressing like it's gonna consist of
depressing like it's gonna consist of
weird [ __ ] it's not gonna be pretty or i
weird  __  it's not gonna be pretty or i
could go and get dinner somewhere
could go and get dinner somewhere
i'm just like weighing out
i'm just like weighing out
my priorities
my priorities
[Music]
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this is the truth like this is really
this is the truth like this is really
what i do when i'm traveling
what i do when i'm traveling
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i just like i i get really tired and i
i just like i i get really tired and i
get too lazy to go out and figure out
get too lazy to go out and figure out
something to eat for dinner and so i
something to eat for dinner and so i
just end up doing this
just end up doing this
and it's
and it's
i enjoy it like listen i have so many
i enjoy it like listen i have so many
fun options i can have like a protein
fun options i can have like a protein
bar
bar
i have some hummus you know i have my
i have some hummus you know i have my
eggs what else i could have a clip oh i
eggs what else i could have a clip oh i
just got ow ow why is my toe cramping
just got ow ow why is my toe cramping
look at it do you see it it's cramping
look at it do you see it it's cramping
do you see it
do you see it
ow why does my toe why i have some
ow why does my toe why i have some
potato chips that could be fun chocolate
potato chips that could be fun chocolate
could be fun like i have options hummus
could be fun like i have options hummus
on eggs
on eggs
is so good like i don't care i don't
is so good like i don't care i don't
care
care
nothing like a home-cooked meal get my
nothing like a home-cooked meal get my
veggies in
veggies in
with a little baby carrot
with a little baby carrot
and hummus vibe
and hummus vibe
i'm getting a little creative
i'm getting a little creative
it tastes a little bit disgusting
it tastes a little bit disgusting
because these are pizza flavor um
because these are pizza flavor um
and dipping pizza flavored crackers into
and dipping pizza flavored crackers into
hummus is like
hummus is like
maybe not the best
maybe not the best
i had a long day i've been through a lot
i had a long day i've been through a lot
sometimes this is just what you have to
sometimes this is just what you have to
do
do
uh
uh
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uh
uh
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[Music]
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i
i
- Pause

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