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- AAH! - GOT YOU! BROKEN ARM! - AAH! - GOT YOU! BROKEN ARM!
AAH
GOT
YOU
BROKEN
ARM
BOOM! BOOM BOOM! BROKEN NOSE! BOOM! BOOM BOOM! BROKEN NOSE!
BOOM
BOOM
BOOM
BROKEN
NOSE
BOOM BOOM BOOM! BROKEN NOSE! BOOM BOOM BOOM! BROKEN NOSE!
BOOM
BOOM
BOOM
BROKEN
NOSE
BOOM! HA! GONNA FLIP YOU! BOOM! HA! GONNA FLIP YOU!
BOOM
HA
GONNA
FLIP
YOU
- ONCE A YEAR, DWIGHT HOLDS A SEMINAR, - ONCE A YEAR, DWIGHT HOLDS A SEMINAR,
ONCE
A
YEAR
DWIGHT
HOLDS
A
SEMINAR
UPDATING US ON THE NEWEST DEVELOPMENTS UPDATING US ON THE NEWEST DEVELOPMENTS
UPDATING
US
ON
THE
NEWEST
DEVELOPMENTS
IN THE WORLD OF KARATE, IN THE WORLD OF KARATE,
IN
THE
WORLD
OF
KARATE
BECAUSE, AS WE ALL KNOW, BECAUSE, AS WE ALL KNOW,
BECAUSE
AS
WE
ALL
KNOW
THE ONE THING THAT THOUSAND-YEAR-OLD MARTIAL ARTS THE ONE THING THAT THOUSAND-YEAR-OLD MARTIAL ARTS
THE
ONE
THING
THAT
THOUSAND-YEAR-OLD
MARTIAL
ARTS
DO ALL THE TIME IS CHANGE. DO ALL THE TIME IS CHANGE.
DO
ALL
THE
TIME
IS
CHANGE
- HOW CAN I POSE THIS TO YOU IN A RELATABLE WAY? - HOW CAN I POSE THIS TO YOU IN A RELATABLE WAY?
HOW
CAN
I
POSE
THIS
TO
YOU
IN
A
RELATABLE
WAY
YOU ARE ALL MEMBERS OF THE YAKUZA, YOU ARE ALL MEMBERS OF THE YAKUZA,
YOU
ARE
ALL
MEMBERS
OF
THE
YAKUZA
AND YOU HAPPEN TO BE VISITING AND YOU HAPPEN TO BE VISITING
AND
YOU
HAPPEN
TO
BE
VISITING
THE LACKAWANNA TROLLEY MUSEUM, THE LACKAWANNA TROLLEY MUSEUM,
THE
LACKAWANNA
TROLLEY
MUSEUM
AND YOU ARE ATTACKED BY TRIADS. AND YOU ARE ATTACKED BY TRIADS.
AND
YOU
ARE
ATTACKED
BY
TRIADS
HOW CAN YOU HOLD THEM OFF HOW CAN YOU HOLD THEM OFF
HOW
CAN
YOU
HOLD
THEM
OFF
UNTIL YOUR CLAN ARRIVES? UNTIL YOUR CLAN ARRIVES?
UNTIL
YOUR
CLAN
ARRIVES
YOU CANNOT GO WRONG WITH A THROAT PUNCH. YOU CANNOT GO WRONG WITH A THROAT PUNCH.
YOU
CANNOT
GO
WRONG
WITH
A
THROAT
PUNCH
GAH! GAH!
GAH
- OKAY, SO THERE'S NO DEFENSE FOR THAT? - OKAY, SO THERE'S NO DEFENSE FOR THAT?
OKAY
SO
THERE'S
NO
DEFENSE
FOR
THAT
GOOD TO KNOW. GOOD TO KNOW.
GOOD
TO
KNOW
- NO, THERE IS A DEFENSE FOR THAT. - NO, THERE IS A DEFENSE FOR THAT.
NO
THERE
IS
A
DEFENSE
FOR
THAT
LET ME DEMONSTRATE. LET ME DEMONSTRATE.
LET
ME
DEMONSTRATE
SOMEONE ATTACK ME. KEVIN, GO! SOMEONE ATTACK ME. KEVIN, GO!
SOMEONE
ATTACK
ME
KEVIN
GO
- NO WAY. - NO WAY.
NO
WAY
LAST TIME, YOU PULLED MY PANTS DOWN, LAST TIME, YOU PULLED MY PANTS DOWN,
LAST
TIME
YOU
PULLED
MY
PANTS
DOWN
AND THEN YOU TRIED TO CHOKE ME WITH MY SHOELACE. AND THEN YOU TRIED TO CHOKE ME WITH MY SHOELACE.
AND
THEN
YOU
TRIED
TO
CHOKE
ME
WITH
MY
SHOELACE
- FALSE. I DID CHOKE YOU WITH YOUR SHOELACE. - FALSE. I DID CHOKE YOU WITH YOUR SHOELACE.
FALSE
I
DID
CHOKE
YOU
WITH
YOUR
SHOELACE
NOW COME AT ME! NOW COME AT ME!
NOW
COME
AT
ME
- OKAY, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT TO EVERYONE HERE, - OKAY, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT TO EVERYONE HERE,
OKAY
WITH
ALL
DUE
RESPECT
TO
EVERYONE
HERE
I THINK THE MOST WORTHY OPPONENT OF YOU I THINK THE MOST WORTHY OPPONENT OF YOU
I
THINK
THE
MOST
WORTHY
OPPONENT
OF
YOU
IS YOU. IS YOU.
IS
YOU
- THAT IS CORRECT, - THAT IS CORRECT,
THAT
IS
CORRECT
UNLESS THERE HAPPEN TO BE MEASLES PRESENT. UNLESS THERE HAPPEN TO BE MEASLES PRESENT.
UNLESS
THERE
HAPPEN
TO
BE
MEASLES
PRESENT
- SO LET'S JUST SAY THAT DWIGHT HAS COME AT YOU - SO LET'S JUST SAY THAT DWIGHT HAS COME AT YOU
SO
LET'S
JUST
SAY
THAT
DWIGHT
HAS
COME
AT
YOU
WITH THE THROAT PUNCH. WITH THE THROAT PUNCH.
WITH
THE
THROAT
PUNCH
NOW, HOW WOULD YOU, DWIGHT, DEFEND AGAINST IT? NOW, HOW WOULD YOU, DWIGHT, DEFEND AGAINST IT?
NOW
HOW
WOULD
YOU
DWIGHT
DEFEND
AGAINST
IT
- EASY. ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE. - EASY. ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE.
EASY
ALLOW
ME
TO
DEMONSTRATE
I AM ATTACKING MYSELF WITH A THROAT PUNCH. I AM ATTACKING MYSELF WITH A THROAT PUNCH.
I
AM
ATTACKING
MYSELF
WITH
A
THROAT
PUNCH
HERE IT COMES. BLOCK. HERE IT COMES. BLOCK.
HERE
IT
COMES
BLOCK
GRASP WRIST AS SUCH. GRASP WRIST AS SUCH.
GRASP
WRIST
AS
SUCH
- AND WHAT IF HE COMES AT YOU WITH THE OTHER HAND? - AND WHAT IF HE COMES AT YOU WITH THE OTHER HAND?
AND
WHAT
IF
HE
COMES
AT
YOU
WITH
THE
OTHER
HAND
BECAUSE HE DOES HAVE TWO. BECAUSE HE DOES HAVE TWO.
BECAUSE
HE
DOES
HAVE
TWO
- GOOD POINT. SECOND THROAT PUNCH. - GOOD POINT. SECOND THROAT PUNCH.
GOOD
POINT
SECOND
THROAT
PUNCH
ABSORB THE BLOW. ABSORB THE BLOW.
ABSORB
THE
BLOW
GROIN PUNCH. GROIN PUNCH.
GROIN
PUNCH
HIT, BLOCK, ELBOW TO THE GUT! HIT, BLOCK, ELBOW TO THE GUT!
HIT
BLOCK
ELBOW
TO
THE
GUT
UH-OH! UP TO THE NOSE! UH-OH! UP TO THE NOSE!
UH-OH
UP
TO
THE
NOSE
NO, YOU'RE NOT! NO, YOU'RE NOT!
NO
YOU'RE
NOT
AAH! OHH! AAH! OHH!
AAH
OHH
- OH, MY GOD, HE'S MAKING YOU LOOK LIKE SUCH A FOOL. - OH, MY GOD, HE'S MAKING YOU LOOK LIKE SUCH A FOOL.
OH
MY
GOD
HE'S
MAKING
YOU
LOOK
LIKE
SUCH
A
FOOL
- HE REALLY IS, BUT NOT FOR LONG. - HE REALLY IS, BUT NOT FOR LONG.
HE
REALLY
IS
BUT
NOT
FOR
LONG
HUH! HUH!
HUH
OW! GOD! OW! GOD!
OW
GOD
INSTEP! INSTEP!
INSTEP
BOH! NOT AGAIN! BOH! NOT AGAIN!
BOH
NOT
AGAIN
HAH! HAH! HAH! HAH! HAH! HAH!
HAH
HAH
HAH
YOU LET GO! YOU LET GO! YOU LET GO! YOU LET GO!
YOU
LET
GO
YOU
LET
GO
OH, YOU'RE RIGHT! I CAN'T HOLD ON! OH, YOU'RE RIGHT! I CAN'T HOLD ON!
OH
YOU'RE
RIGHT
I
CAN'T
HOLD
ON
[panting] HAH! HAH! [panting] HAH! HAH!
panting
HAH
HAH
- YOU TWO ARE SO EVENLY MATCHED, - YOU TWO ARE SO EVENLY MATCHED,
YOU
TWO
ARE
SO
EVENLY
MATCHED
I DON'T KNOW HOW ONE OF YOU'S GONNA GET THE UPPER HAND. I DON'T KNOW HOW ONE OF YOU'S GONNA GET THE UPPER HAND.
I
DON'T
KNOW
HOW
ONE
OF
YOU'S
GONNA
GET
THE
UPPER
HAND
- THE IMPORTANT THING TO REMEMBER, JIM, - THE IMPORTANT THING TO REMEMBER, JIM,
THE
IMPORTANT
THING
TO
REMEMBER
JIM
WE ALWAYS HAVE WHAT IS CALLED WE ALWAYS HAVE WHAT IS CALLED
WE
ALWAYS
HAVE
WHAT
IS
CALLED
THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE. THE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE.
THE
ELEMENT
OF
SURPRISE
AHH! AHH!
AHH
OHH! OHH!
OHH
[cheerful music] [cheerful music]
cheerful
music
- BUT I WOULD SAY MY FAVORITE ART FORM - BUT I WOULD SAY MY FAVORITE ART FORM
BUT
I
WOULD
SAY
MY
FAVORITE
ART
FORM
IS A TIE BETWEEN SCULPTING AND STAND-UP COMEDY. IS A TIE BETWEEN SCULPTING AND STAND-UP COMEDY.
IS
A
TIE
BETWEEN
SCULPTING
AND
STAND-UP
COMEDY
- I DID STAND-UP COMEDY ONCE. - I DID STAND-UP COMEDY ONCE.
I
DID
STAND-UP
COMEDY
ONCE
- YOU DID? - YEAH, I KILLED. - YOU DID? - YEAH, I KILLED.
YOU
DID
YEAH
I
KILLED
- THAT SOUNDS LIKE IT WAS HILARIOUS. - THAT SOUNDS LIKE IT WAS HILARIOUS.
THAT
SOUNDS
LIKE
IT
WAS
HILARIOUS
- IT WAS HILARIOUS. - IT WAS HILARIOUS.
IT
WAS
HILARIOUS
- MICHAEL? - YES? - MICHAEL? - YES?
MICHAEL
YES
- WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS EMAIL THAT EVERYONE GOT? - WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS EMAIL THAT EVERYONE GOT?
WHAT
IS
THE
MEANING
OF
THIS
EMAIL
THAT
EVERYONE
GOT
- YOU'LL HAVE TO BE MORE SPECIFIC, DWIGHT. - YOU'LL HAVE TO BE MORE SPECIFIC, DWIGHT.
YOU'LL
HAVE
TO
BE
MORE
SPECIFIC
DWIGHT
I GET LIKE EIGHT EMAILS A DAY. I GET LIKE EIGHT EMAILS A DAY.
I
GET
LIKE
EIGHT
EMAILS
A
DAY
- THIS ONE. - THIS ONE.
THIS
ONE
"FROM: DAVID WALLACE, TO: ALL DUNDER MIFFLIN." "FROM: DAVID WALLACE, TO: ALL DUNDER MIFFLIN."
FROM:
DAVID
WALLACE
TO:
ALL
DUNDER
MIFFLIN
- WHOO-HOO. SHOUT-OUT. - WHOO-HOO. SHOUT-OUT.
WHOO-HOO
SHOUT-OUT
- "HELLO, EVERYONE, I'M SURE YOU'VE SEEN - "HELLO, EVERYONE, I'M SURE YOU'VE SEEN
HELLO
EVERYONE
I'M
SURE
YOU'VE
SEEN
"THE ITEM IN 'THE JOURNAL.' "THE ITEM IN 'THE JOURNAL.'
THE
ITEM
IN
'THE
JOURNAL'
"JUST WANT TO STRESS IT'S ALL CONJECTURE. "JUST WANT TO STRESS IT'S ALL CONJECTURE.
JUST
WANT
TO
STRESS
IT'S
ALL
CONJECTURE
"IF THERE'S ANY CONCRETE NEWS, "IF THERE'S ANY CONCRETE NEWS,
IF
THERE'S
ANY
CONCRETE
NEWS
YOU WILL KNOW A.S.A.P." YOU WILL KNOW A.S.A.P."
YOU
WILL
KNOW
ASAP
- ERIN, DO WE HAVE THE JOURNAL? - ERIN, DO WE HAVE THE JOURNAL?
ERIN
DO
WE
HAVE
THE
JOURNAL
- YOUR FEELINGS JOURNAL? - YOUR FEELINGS JOURNAL?
YOUR
FEELINGS
JOURNAL
YOU TOLD ME TO PUT IT IN THE TIME CAPSULE. YOU TOLD ME TO PUT IT IN THE TIME CAPSULE.
YOU
TOLD
ME
TO
PUT
IT
IN
THE
TIME
CAPSULE
DID YOU? DID YOU?
DID
YOU
- MICHAEL, HE MEANS "THE WALL STREET JOURNAL" ONLINE. - MICHAEL, HE MEANS "THE WALL STREET JOURNAL" ONLINE.
MICHAEL
HE
MEANS
THE
WALL
STREET
JOURNAL
ONLINE
- OH, "THE WALL." - OH, "THE WALL."
OH
THE
WALL
- I FOUND THE ARTICLE. - I FOUND THE ARTICLE.
I
FOUND
THE
ARTICLE
"ON A DAY MARKED BY PANICKED CORPORATE BOARD MEETINGS, "ON A DAY MARKED BY PANICKED CORPORATE BOARD MEETINGS,
ON
A
DAY
MARKED
BY
PANICKED
CORPORATE
BOARD
MEETINGS
"ONE THAT IS RELATIVELY UNSURPRISING "ONE THAT IS RELATIVELY UNSURPRISING
ONE
THAT
IS
RELATIVELY
UNSURPRISING
"IS DUNDER MIFFLIN'S. "IS DUNDER MIFFLIN'S.
IS
DUNDER
MIFFLIN'S
IT IS RUMORED THAT THEY WILL RECOMMEND DE--" IT IS RUMORED THAT THEY WILL RECOMMEND DE--"
IT
IS
RUMORED
THAT
THEY
WILL
RECOMMEND
DE-
AND THE ARTICLE CUTS OFF. AND THE ARTICLE CUTS OFF.
AND
THE
ARTICLE
CUTS
OFF
- IT'S $1.99 TO FINISH THE ARTICLE. - IT'S $1.99 TO FINISH THE ARTICLE.
IT'S
199
TO
FINISH
THE
ARTICLE
I WONDER WHAT IT WAS GONNA SAY. I WONDER WHAT IT WAS GONNA SAY.
I
WONDER
WHAT
IT
WAS
GONNA
SAY
- ARE YOU SERIOUS? - ARE YOU SERIOUS?
ARE
YOU
SERIOUS
- I GOT IT, I GOT IT. - I GOT IT, I GOT IT.
I
GOT
IT
I
GOT
IT
OH! AH! OH! AH!
OH
AH
TUNA BEAT ME TO IT. TUNA BEAT ME TO IT.
TUNA
BEAT
ME
TO
IT
- "IT IS RUMORED THAT THEY WILL RECOMMEND - "IT IS RUMORED THAT THEY WILL RECOMMEND
IT
IS
RUMORED
THAT
THEY
WILL
RECOMMEND
DECLARING BANKRUPTCY"? DECLARING BANKRUPTCY"?
DECLARING
BANKRUPTCY
- NO, NO. THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. - NO, NO. THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.
NO
NO
THAT
DOESN'T
MAKE
ANY
SENSE
- OH, LORD, WE'RE ALL GONNA LOSE OUR JOBS. - OH, LORD, WE'RE ALL GONNA LOSE OUR JOBS.
OH
LORD
WE'RE
ALL
GONNA
LOSE
OUR
JOBS
- NOT NECESSARILY. BANKRUPTCY COULD MEAN A LOT OF THINGS. - NOT NECESSARILY. BANKRUPTCY COULD MEAN A LOT OF THINGS.
NOT
NECESSARILY
BANKRUPTCY
COULD
MEAN
A
LOT
OF
THINGS
MAYBE THEY'RE JUST RESTRUCTURING TO GET OUT OF DEBT. MAYBE THEY'RE JUST RESTRUCTURING TO GET OUT OF DEBT.
MAYBE
THEY'RE
JUST
RESTRUCTURING
TO
GET
OUT
OF
DEBT
- OH, THAT SOUNDS AWFUL. - OH, THAT SOUNDS AWFUL.
OH
THAT
SOUNDS
AWFUL
- OR IT COULD MEAN THE END OF DUNDER MIFFLIN. - OR IT COULD MEAN THE END OF DUNDER MIFFLIN.
OR
IT
COULD
MEAN
THE
END
OF
DUNDER
MIFFLIN
- OH, GOD! WELL, THAT'S AN INTERESTING THEORY. - OH, GOD! WELL, THAT'S AN INTERESTING THEORY.
OH
GOD
WELL
THAT'S
AN
INTERESTING
THEORY
- YOU KNOW WHAT? - YOU KNOW WHAT?
YOU
KNOW
WHAT
YOU CAN ALL HAVE JOBS AT SCHRUTE FARMS... YOU CAN ALL HAVE JOBS AT SCHRUTE FARMS...
YOU
CAN
ALL
HAVE
JOBS
AT
SCHRUTE
FARMS
AS HUMAN SCARECROWS. AS HUMAN SCARECROWS.
AS
HUMAN
SCARECROWS
IT DOESN'T PAY MUCH AND YOU CAN'T UNIONIZE. IT DOESN'T PAY MUCH AND YOU CAN'T UNIONIZE.
IT
DOESN'T
PAY
MUCH
AND
YOU
CAN'T
UNIONIZE
- [ on
on
X
speaker] I'M SORRY, MICHAEL. - [on speaker] I'M SORRY, MICHAEL.
on
speaker
I'M
SORRY
MICHAEL
DAVID'S IN A MEETING. DAVID'S IN A MEETING.
DAVID'S
IN
A
MEETING
- AH, WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD SPY ON HIM. - AH, WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD SPY ON HIM.
AH
WELL
MAYBE
YOU
SHOULD
SPY
ON
HIM
[snickers] [snickers]
snickers
[imitating Valley girl] OH, MY GOD! [imitating Valley girl] OH, MY GOD!
imitating
Valley
girl
OH
MY
GOD
WOULDN'T THAT BE HILARIOUS? WOULDN'T THAT BE HILARIOUS?
WOULDN'T
THAT
BE
HILARIOUS
[laughing] [laughing]
laughing
- UM, I'LL JUST HAVE HIM CALL YOU BACK. - UM, I'LL JUST HAVE HIM CALL YOU BACK.
UM
I'LL
JUST
HAVE
HIM
CALL
YOU
BACK
- OKAY, OKAY. GOOD. - OKAY, OKAY. GOOD.
OKAY
OKAY
GOOD
I'LL CATCH YOU ON THE FLIPPITY-FLIP. I'LL CATCH YOU ON THE FLIPPITY-FLIP.
I'LL
CATCH
YOU
ON
THE
FLIPPITY-FLIP
BYE! BYE!
BYE
HE'S BUSY. HE'S BUSY.
HE'S
BUSY
CALL ME BACK WHEN HE'S FREE. CALL ME BACK WHEN HE'S FREE.
CALL
ME
BACK
WHEN
HE'S
FREE
[Michael vomiting] [Michael vomiting]
Michael
vomiting
- MICHAEL, ARE YOU OKAY? - MICHAEL, ARE YOU OKAY?
MICHAEL
ARE
YOU
OKAY
DID YOU THROW UP IN THERE? DID YOU THROW UP IN THERE?
DID
YOU
THROW
UP
IN
THERE
- NO, JUST POOPIN'. YOU KNOW HOW I BE. - NO, JUST POOPIN'. YOU KNOW HOW I BE.
NO
JUST
POOPIN'
YOU
KNOW
HOW
I
BE
- BUT IT SMELLS LIKE THROW-UP IN HERE. - BUT IT SMELLS LIKE THROW-UP IN HERE.
BUT
IT
SMELLS
LIKE
THROW-UP
IN
HERE
- CRAZY WORLD, LOTTA SMELLS. - CRAZY WORLD, LOTTA SMELLS.
CRAZY
WORLD
LOTTA
SMELLS
- YOU GUYS, WHAT IF THIS IS OUR LAST DAY AT WORK? - YOU GUYS, WHAT IF THIS IS OUR LAST DAY AT WORK?
YOU
GUYS
WHAT
IF
THIS
IS
OUR
LAST
DAY
AT
WORK
WHAT IF WE NEVER SEE EACH OTHER EVER AGAIN? WHAT IF WE NEVER SEE EACH OTHER EVER AGAIN?
WHAT
IF
WE
NEVER
SEE
EACH
OTHER
EVER
AGAIN
- I LIKE ERIN. - I LIKE ERIN.
I
LIKE
ERIN
THERE, I SAID IT. THERE, I SAID IT.
THERE
I
SAID
IT
I WAS KINDA HOPING SHE WOULD ASK ME OUT, I WAS KINDA HOPING SHE WOULD ASK ME OUT,
I
WAS
KINDA
HOPING
SHE
WOULD
ASK
ME
OUT
BUT THINGS HAVE NOT PANNED OUT ON THAT FRONT, BUT THINGS HAVE NOT PANNED OUT ON THAT FRONT,
BUT
THINGS
HAVE
NOT
PANNED
OUT
ON
THAT
FRONT
SO... SO...
SO
IT IS TIME FOR THE NARD-DOG IT IS TIME FOR THE NARD-DOG
IT
IS
TIME
FOR
THE
NARD-DOG
TO TAKE MATTERS INTO HIS OWN PAWS. TO TAKE MATTERS INTO HIS OWN PAWS.
TO
TAKE
MATTERS
INTO
HIS
OWN
PAWS
[Shawn Mullins' "Lullaby" playing in Michael's office] [Shawn Mullins' "Lullaby" playing in Michael's office]
Shawn
Mullins'
Lullaby
playing
in
Michael's
office
- [singing] EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT - [singing] EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT
singing
EVERYTHING'S
GONNA
BE
ALL
RIGHT
ROCKABYE ROCKABYE
ROCKABYE
ROCKABYE ROCKABYE
ROCKABYE
[turns music down
down
X
] [turns music down]
turns
music
down
- [ by
by
X
himself] EVERYTHING IS GONNA-- - [by himself] EVERYTHING IS GONNA--
by
himself
EVERYTHING
IS
GONNA-
- WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING, - WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING,
WE
HAVE
TO
DO
SOMETHING
BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE LOSIN' IT OUT THERE, BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE LOSIN' IT OUT THERE,
BECAUSE
PEOPLE
ARE
LOSIN'
IT
OUT
THERE
WONDERING WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN. WONDERING WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN.
WONDERING
WHAT'S
GONNA
HAPPEN
- OKAY, WE NEED SOME SORT OF DISTRACTION FOR EVERYBODY. - OKAY, WE NEED SOME SORT OF DISTRACTION FOR EVERYBODY.
OKAY
WE
NEED
SOME
SORT
OF
DISTRACTION
FOR
EVERYBODY
IS THERE ANYTHING NEW IN YOUTUBE? IS THERE ANYTHING NEW IN YOUTUBE?
IS
THERE
ANYTHING
NEW
IN
YOUTUBE
- MICHAEL-- - DOESN'T EVEN NEED TO BE GOOD. - MICHAEL-- - DOESN'T EVEN NEED TO BE GOOD.
MICHAEL-
DOESN'T
EVEN
NEED
TO
BE
GOOD
OH, GOD! I CAN'T THINK. OH, GOD! I CAN'T THINK.
OH
GOD
I
CAN'T
THINK
I NEED MORE MULLINS. [turns up
up
X
music] I NEED MORE MULLINS. [turns up music]
I
NEED
MORE
MULLINS
turns
up
music
[turns off
off
X
music] [turns off music]
turns
off
music
- LISTEN, WALLACE SAID THESE WERE JUST RUMORS, RIGHT? - LISTEN, WALLACE SAID THESE WERE JUST RUMORS, RIGHT?
LISTEN
WALLACE
SAID
THESE
WERE
JUST
RUMORS
RIGHT
SO WE HAVE NO REASON TO THINK SO WE HAVE NO REASON TO THINK
SO
WE
HAVE
NO
REASON
TO
THINK
THAT THE COMPANY'S ANYTHING BUT FINE. THAT THE COMPANY'S ANYTHING BUT FINE.
THAT
THE
COMPANY'S
ANYTHING
BUT
FINE
SO IF WE JUST GO ON WITH OUR WORK, YOU AND ME, SO IF WE JUST GO ON WITH OUR WORK, YOU AND ME,
SO
IF
WE
JUST
GO
ON
WITH
OUR
WORK
YOU
AND
ME
THEY'LL FOLLOW ALONG. THEY'LL FOLLOW ALONG.
THEY'LL
FOLLOW
ALONG
- MONKEY SEE, MONKEY DO. - THAT'S IT. - MONKEY SEE, MONKEY DO. - THAT'S IT.
MONKEY
SEE
MONKEY
DO
THAT'S
IT
- MONKEY PEE ALL OVER YOU. - MONKEY PEE ALL OVER YOU.
MONKEY
PEE
ALL
OVER
YOU
- THAT...RHYMES. - THAT...RHYMES.
THATRHYMES
SO WHAT HAVE WE ON THE DOCKET TODAY? SO WHAT HAVE WE ON THE DOCKET TODAY?
SO
WHAT
HAVE
WE
ON
THE
DOCKET
TODAY
- WE HAVE A... A MONTHLY STAFF MEETING. - WE HAVE A... A MONTHLY STAFF MEETING.
WE
HAVE
A
A
MONTHLY
STAFF
MEETING
- ALL RIGHT! - ALL RIGHT!
ALL
RIGHT
LET'S CONFERENCE ROOM IT UP! LET'S CONFERENCE ROOM IT UP!
LET'S
CONFERENCE
ROOM
IT
UP
HERE'S THE DEAL, GUYS. HERE'S THE DEAL, GUYS.
HERE'S
THE
DEAL
GUYS
THERE IS NO NEW INFORMATION AS OF YET, THERE IS NO NEW INFORMATION AS OF YET,
THERE
IS
NO
NEW
INFORMATION
AS
OF
YET
SO I SUGGEST WE ALL JUST KEEP WORKING. SO I SUGGEST WE ALL JUST KEEP WORKING.
SO
I
SUGGEST
WE
ALL
JUST
KEEP
WORKING
SURE, I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS, SURE, I'M A LITTLE NERVOUS,
SURE
I'M
A
LITTLE
NERVOUS
BUT DOING OUR WORK WILL MAKE US FEEL BETTER. BUT DOING OUR WORK WILL MAKE US FEEL BETTER.
BUT
DOING
OUR
WORK
WILL
MAKE
US
FEEL
BETTER
I ONLY SLACK OFF WHEN THINGS ARE GOOD. I ONLY SLACK OFF WHEN THINGS ARE GOOD.
I
ONLY
SLACK
OFF
WHEN
THINGS
ARE
GOOD
CUSTOMERS HAVE TO USE CUSTOMERS HAVE TO USE
CUSTOMERS
HAVE
TO
USE
THE COUPON CODE FROM THE WEBSITE. THE COUPON CODE FROM THE WEBSITE.
THE
COUPON
CODE
FROM
THE
WEBSITE
- [exhales] - [exhales]
exhales
- AND AS OF NOW, THERE IS NO DIFFERENTIATION - AND AS OF NOW, THERE IS NO DIFFERENTIATION
AND
AS
OF
NOW
THERE
IS
NO
DIFFERENTIATION
BETWEEN THE LETTER "O" AND THE ZERO, BETWEEN THE LETTER "O" AND THE ZERO,
BETWEEN
THE
LETTER
O
AND
THE
ZERO
BUT WE ARE WORKING ON THAT. BUT WE ARE WORKING ON THAT.
BUT
WE
ARE
WORKING
ON
THAT
STAY TUNED FOR THAT. STAY TUNED FOR THAT.
STAY
TUNED
FOR
THAT
- HE NEEDS ME. - HE NEEDS ME.
HE
NEEDS
ME
SEAT-SAVE INFINITY. SEAT-SAVE INFINITY.
SEAT-SAVE
INFINITY
- OKAY, GREAT. - OKAY, GREAT.
OKAY
GREAT
- OH, GOD! WHAT? - OH, GOD! WHAT?
OH
GOD
WHAT
OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD.
OH
MY
GOD
- WHAT? - WHAT IS IT? - WHAT? - WHAT IS IT?
WHAT
WHAT
IS
IT
- IS THERE NEWS? - IS THERE NEWS?
IS
THERE
NEWS
- THERE HAS BEEN A MURDER! - THERE HAS BEEN A MURDER!
THERE
HAS
BEEN
A
MURDER
- WHAT? - WHAT?
WHAT
- A MUR-- - WHAT? - A MUR-- - WHAT?
A
MUR-
WHAT
- THERE'S BEEN A MURDER... - THERE'S BEEN A MURDER...
THERE'S
BEEN
A
MURDER
IN SAVANNAH. IN SAVANNAH.
IN
SAVANNAH
[giggling] [giggling]
giggling
GAMES HAVE THE POWER TO DISTRACT PEOPLE GAMES HAVE THE POWER TO DISTRACT PEOPLE
GAMES
HAVE
THE
POWER
TO
DISTRACT
PEOPLE
FROM STRESSFUL SITUATIONS. FROM STRESSFUL SITUATIONS.
FROM
STRESSFUL
SITUATIONS
"BATTLESHIP" GOT ME THROUGH MY PARENTS' DIVORCE. "BATTLESHIP" GOT ME THROUGH MY PARENTS' DIVORCE.
BATTLESHIP
GOT
ME
THROUGH
MY
PARENTS'
DIVORCE
"OPERATION" GOT ME THROUGH MY VASECTOMY, "OPERATION" GOT ME THROUGH MY VASECTOMY,
OPERATION
GOT
ME
THROUGH
MY
VASECTOMY
I.E. MY OPERATION. I.E. MY OPERATION.
IE
MY
OPERATION
I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO ENDURE I DON'T THINK I WOULD HAVE BEEN ABLE TO ENDURE
I
DON'T
THINK
I
WOULD
HAVE
BEEN
ABLE
TO
ENDURE
MY BREAK-UP WITH HOLLY MY BREAK-UP WITH HOLLY
MY
BREAK-UP
WITH
HOLLY
HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR "TOSS ACROSS." HAD IT NOT BEEN FOR "TOSS ACROSS."
HAD
IT
NOT
BEEN
FOR
TOSS
ACROSS
- "BELLES, BOURBON, AND BULLETS, - "BELLES, BOURBON, AND BULLETS,
BELLES
BOURBON
AND
BULLETS
A MURDER MYSTERY DINNER PARTY GAME." A MURDER MYSTERY DINNER PARTY GAME."
A
MURDER
MYSTERY
DINNER
PARTY
GAME
- IT IS SO MUCH FUN. - IT IS SO MUCH FUN.
IT
IS
SO
MUCH
FUN
EVERYBODY PLAYS A CHARACTER, EVERYBODY PLAYS A CHARACTER,
EVERYBODY
PLAYS
A
CHARACTER
WE GO AROUND THE ROOM, WE GO AROUND THE ROOM,
WE
GO
AROUND
THE
ROOM
WE TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHO DID IT. WE TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHO DID IT.
WE
TRY
TO
FIGURE
OUT
WHO
DID
IT
- HEY, I'M WONDERING IF THIS IS A, UM, - HEY, I'M WONDERING IF THIS IS A, UM,
HEY
I'M
WONDERING
IF
THIS
IS
A
UM
TERRIBLE IDEA. TERRIBLE IDEA.
TERRIBLE
IDEA
- THIS IS MY CALL, JIM. - THIS IS MY CALL, JIM.
THIS
IS
MY
CALL
JIM
BIG PICTURE STUFF. IT'S ABOUT MURDER. BIG PICTURE STUFF. IT'S ABOUT MURDER.
BIG
PICTURE
STUFF
IT'S
ABOUT
MURDER
- I THOUGHT WE AGREED - I THOUGHT WE AGREED
I
THOUGHT
WE
AGREED
THAT WE WOULDN'T DO THINGS LIKE THIS. THAT WE WOULDN'T DO THINGS LIKE THIS.
THAT
WE
WOULDN'T
DO
THINGS
LIKE
THIS
- TUBE CITY. YOU OWE ME ONE. - TUBE CITY. YOU OWE ME ONE.
TUBE
CITY
YOU
OWE
ME
ONE
- CO-MANAGING IS A GIVE AND TAKE. - CO-MANAGING IS A GIVE AND TAKE.
CO-MANAGING
IS
A
GIVE
AND
TAKE
YOU HAVE TO PICK YOUR BATTLES. YOU HAVE TO PICK YOUR BATTLES.
YOU
HAVE
TO
PICK
YOUR
BATTLES
ONE OF THE BATTLES THAT I PICKED ONE OF THE BATTLES THAT I PICKED
ONE
OF
THE
BATTLES
THAT
I
PICKED
WAS TO STOP MICHAEL FROM RUNNING PLASTIC TUBES WAS TO STOP MICHAEL FROM RUNNING PLASTIC TUBES
WAS
TO
STOP
MICHAEL
FROM
RUNNING
PLASTIC
TUBES
ALL OVER THE OFFICE ALL OVER THE OFFICE
ALL
OVER
THE
OFFICE
AND PLACING HAMSTERS INSIDE OF THEM. AND PLACING HAMSTERS INSIDE OF THEM.
AND
PLACING
HAMSTERS
INSIDE
OF
THEM
HE WAS GONNA CALL IT TUBE CITY. HE WAS GONNA CALL IT TUBE CITY.
HE
WAS
GONNA
CALL
IT
TUBE
CITY
SO, YES, I DO OWE HIM ONE. SO, YES, I DO OWE HIM ONE.
SO
YES
I
DO
OWE
HIM
ONE
narrator with
with
X
Southern accent: AUGUST 5, 1955. narrator with Southern accent: AUGUST 5, 1955.
narrator
with
Southern
accent:
AUGUST
5
1955
IT'S A SAD DAY DOWN HERE IN SAVANNAH. IT'S A SAD DAY DOWN HERE IN SAVANNAH.
IT'S
A
SAD
DAY
DOWN
HERE
IN
SAVANNAH
LOCAL MAGNATE BILL BOURBON WAS KILLED LAST NIGHT, LOCAL MAGNATE BILL BOURBON WAS KILLED LAST NIGHT,
LOCAL
MAGNATE
BILL
BOURBON
WAS
KILLED
LAST
NIGHT
AND ALL Y'ALL HAVE CONGREGATED TONIGHT AND ALL Y'ALL HAVE CONGREGATED TONIGHT
AND
ALL
Y'ALL
HAVE
CONGREGATED
TONIGHT
FOR A MEAL TO CELEBRATE BILL FOR A MEAL TO CELEBRATE BILL
FOR
A
MEAL
TO
CELEBRATE
BILL
AS HE PASSES ON TO HIS GREAT REWARD. AS HE PASSES ON TO HIS GREAT REWARD.
AS
HE
PASSES
ON
TO
HIS
GREAT
REWARD
BUT YOU'RE NOT JUST HERE TO PAY YOUR RESPECTS. BUT YOU'RE NOT JUST HERE TO PAY YOUR RESPECTS.
BUT
YOU'RE
NOT
JUST
HERE
TO
PAY
YOUR
RESPECTS
YOU HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHICH OF Y'ALL YOU HAVE TO FIGURE OUT WHICH OF Y'ALL
YOU
HAVE
TO
FIGURE
OUT
WHICH
OF
Y'ALL
IS THE NO-ACCOUNT SCOUNDREL WHO KILLED HIM. IS THE NO-ACCOUNT SCOUNDREL WHO KILLED HIM.
IS
THE
NO-ACCOUNT
SCOUNDREL
WHO
KILLED
HIM
- THIS IS RIDICULOUS. - YEP. - THIS IS RIDICULOUS. - YEP.
THIS
IS
RIDICULOUS
YEP
- THERE WILL BE FOOD. - THERE WILL BE FOOD.
THERE
WILL
BE
FOOD
YOU LEAVE, YOU DO NOT GET FOOD. YOU LEAVE, YOU DO NOT GET FOOD.
YOU
LEAVE
YOU
DO
NOT
GET
FOOD
- WHAT KIND OF FOOD? - WHAT KIND OF FOOD?
WHAT
KIND
OF
FOOD
- SANDWICH PLATTERS. - I'M IN. - SANDWICH PLATTERS. - I'M IN.
SANDWICH
PLATTERS
I'M
IN
- BABY CARROTS. - BABY CARROTS.
BABY
CARROTS
OKAY, HERE ARE YOUR CHARACTER CARDS. OKAY, HERE ARE YOUR CHARACTER CARDS.
OKAY
HERE
ARE
YOUR
CHARACTER
CARDS
TAKE ONE, PASS IT DOWN. TAKE ONE, PASS IT DOWN.
TAKE
ONE
PASS
IT
DOWN
HERE IS YOUR PROP BOX. HERE IS YOUR PROP BOX.
HERE
IS
YOUR
PROP
BOX
SOME OF YOUR CHARACTERS WILL HAVE PROPS. SOME OF YOUR CHARACTERS WILL HAVE PROPS.
SOME
OF
YOUR
CHARACTERS
WILL
HAVE
PROPS
NOW, ON YOUR CHARACTER CARD, NOW, ON YOUR CHARACTER CARD,
NOW
ON
YOUR
CHARACTER
CARD
IT TELLS YOU WHO YOU ARE IT TELLS YOU WHO YOU ARE
IT
TELLS
YOU
WHO
YOU
ARE
AND WHAT YOUR ALIBI IS. AND WHAT YOUR ALIBI IS.
AND
WHAT
YOUR
ALIBI
IS
EVERYTHING ELSE IS UP TO YOUR IMAGINATION. EVERYTHING ELSE IS UP TO YOUR IMAGINATION.
EVERYTHING
ELSE
IS
UP
TO
YOUR
IMAGINATION
SO IF YOU TALK SLOWLY IN REAL LIFE, SO IF YOU TALK SLOWLY IN REAL LIFE,
SO
IF
YOU
TALK
SLOWLY
IN
REAL
LIFE
YOUR CHARACTER COULD, SAY, YOUR CHARACTER COULD, SAY,
YOUR
CHARACTER
COULD
SAY
HAVE BEEN KICKED IN THE HEAD BY A HORSE. HAVE BEEN KICKED IN THE HEAD BY A HORSE.
HAVE
BEEN
KICKED
IN
THE
HEAD
BY
A
HORSE
- COOL. I'LL TRY IT. - OKAY. - COOL. I'LL TRY IT. - OKAY.
COOL
I'LL
TRY
IT
OKAY
USE YOUR IMAGINATIONS. USE YOUR IMAGINATIONS.
USE
YOUR
IMAGINATIONS
- WHO DID YOU GET? - WHO DID YOU GET?
WHO
DID
YOU
GET
- "NAUGHTY NELLIE NUTMEG, - "NAUGHTY NELLIE NUTMEG,
NAUGHTY
NELLIE
NUTMEG
A VIVACIOUS YOUNG SOCIALITE WITH A PENCHANT FOR SCANDAL." A VIVACIOUS YOUNG SOCIALITE WITH A PENCHANT FOR SCANDAL."
A
VIVACIOUS
YOUNG
SOCIALITE
WITH
A
PENCHANT
FOR
SCANDAL
- OOH! SAUCY. - OOH! SAUCY.
OOH
SAUCY
- HOW ABOUT YOU? - HOW ABOUT YOU?
HOW
ABOUT
YOU
- "NATHANIEL NUTMEG, THE LOCAL BARTENDER AND... - "NATHANIEL NUTMEG, THE LOCAL BARTENDER AND...
NATHANIEL
NUTMEG
THE
LOCAL
BARTENDER
AND
NELLIE'S BROTHER." NELLIE'S BROTHER."
NELLIE'S
BROTHER
- MICHAEL, I DON'T LIKE THIS GAME. - MICHAEL, I DON'T LIKE THIS GAME.
MICHAEL
I
DON'T
LIKE
THIS
GAME
IT'S SCARY. IT'S SCARY.
IT'S
SCARY
- IT'S NOT SCARY. - IT'S NOT SCARY.
IT'S
NOT
SCARY
- I DON'T LIKE MY CHARACTER. - I DON'T LIKE MY CHARACTER.
I
DON'T
LIKE
MY
CHARACTER
- WHO ARE YOU? - WHO ARE YOU?
WHO
ARE
YOU
- "VOODOO MAMA JUJU, - "VOODOO MAMA JUJU,
VOODOO
MAMA
JUJU
THE WITCH DOCTOR OF THE SAVANNAH SWAMPS." THE WITCH DOCTOR OF THE SAVANNAH SWAMPS."
THE
WITCH
DOCTOR
OF
THE
SAVANNAH
SWAMPS
I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THIS. I'M NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THIS.
I'M
NOT
COMFORTABLE
WITH
THIS
- WELL, HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL? - WELL, HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?
WELL
HOW
DO
YOU
THINK
I
FEEL
I MEAN, I HAVE TO PLAY CALEB CRAWDAD, I MEAN, I HAVE TO PLAY CALEB CRAWDAD,
I
MEAN
I
HAVE
TO
PLAY
CALEB
CRAWDAD
HANDSOME PLAYBOY. HANDSOME PLAYBOY.
HANDSOME
PLAYBOY
EVERY NIGHT, A DIFFERENT WOMAN, EVERY NIGHT, A DIFFERENT WOMAN,
EVERY
NIGHT
A
DIFFERENT
WOMAN
BEING OOGLED, BEING OOGLED,
BEING
OOGLED
HAVING TO HUG AND KISS AND SPOON. HAVING TO HUG AND KISS AND SPOON.
HAVING
TO
HUG
AND
KISS
AND
SPOON
OH! I MAKE THEM FEEL BEAUTIFUL. OH! I MAKE THEM FEEL BEAUTIFUL.
OH
I
MAKE
THEM
FEEL
BEAUTIFUL
[Southern accent] WELL, WELL, WELL! [Southern accent] WELL, WELL, WELL!
Southern
accent
WELL
WELL
WELL
WHAT IS THIS CONTRAPTION, I DO DECLARE? WHAT IS THIS CONTRAPTION, I DO DECLARE?
WHAT
IS
THIS
CONTRAPTION
I
DO
DECLARE
- IT'S MY BLACKBERRY, MICHAEL. - IT'S MY BLACKBERRY, MICHAEL.
IT'S
MY
BLACKBERRY
MICHAEL
I'M TRYING TO GET UPDATES ON THE COMPANY. I'M TRYING TO GET UPDATES ON THE COMPANY.
I'M
TRYING
TO
GET
UPDATES
ON
THE
COMPANY
- WHO'S MICHAEL? - WHO'S MICHAEL?
WHO'S
MICHAEL
I'M CALEB CRAWDAD, I DO DECLARE. I'M CALEB CRAWDAD, I DO DECLARE.
I'M
CALEB
CRAWDAD
I
DO
DECLARE
- YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP SAYING, "I DO DECLARE." - YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP SAYING, "I DO DECLARE."
YOU
DON'T
HAVE
TO
KEEP
SAYING
I
DO
DECLARE
ANYTIME YOU SAY SOMETHING IT MEANS YOU'RE DECLARING. ANYTIME YOU SAY SOMETHING IT MEANS YOU'RE DECLARING.
ANYTIME
YOU
SAY
SOMETHING
IT
MEANS
YOU'RE
DECLARING
- THAT IS THE WAY SOUTHERN PEOPLE TALK. - THAT IS THE WAY SOUTHERN PEOPLE TALK.
THAT
IS
THE
WAY
SOUTHERN
PEOPLE
TALK
- AND WHAT DESIGNING WOMAN ARE YOU BASING THAT ON? - AND WHAT DESIGNING WOMAN ARE YOU BASING THAT ON?
AND
WHAT
DESIGNING
WOMAN
ARE
YOU
BASING
THAT
ON
- DELTA BURKE, I DO DECLARE. - DELTA BURKE, I DO DECLARE.
DELTA
BURKE
I
DO
DECLARE
NOW, SHALL WE GET TO THE MYSTERY? NOW, SHALL WE GET TO THE MYSTERY?
NOW
SHALL
WE
GET
TO
THE
MYSTERY
- I'LL GO. - I'LL GO.
I'LL
GO
[Southern accent] "MY NAME IS DEBORAH UTANTE, [Southern accent] "MY NAME IS DEBORAH UTANTE,
Southern
accent
MY
NAME
IS
DEBORAH
UTANTE
DEB FOR SHORT." DEB FOR SHORT."
DEB
FOR
SHORT
- THAT'S CLEVER. - THAT'S CLEVER.
THAT'S
CLEVER
DEBUTANTE. DEBUTANTE.
DEBUTANTE
- "BILL BOURBON WAS MY UNCLE. - "BILL BOURBON WAS MY UNCLE.
BILL
BOURBON
WAS
MY
UNCLE
"I WOULD HAVE NEVER HURT HIM "I WOULD HAVE NEVER HURT HIM
I
WOULD
HAVE
NEVER
HURT
HIM
ANY MORE THAN I'D HURT A JUNE BUG." ANY MORE THAN I'D HURT A JUNE BUG."
ANY
MORE
THAN
I'D
HURT
A
JUNE
BUG
- NICE ACCENT. - NICE ACCENT.
NICE
ACCENT
YOU SOUND LIKE FORREST GUMP. YOU SOUND LIKE FORREST GUMP.
YOU
SOUND
LIKE
FORREST
GUMP
- I DO NOT. - I DO NOT.
I
DO
NOT
- WELL, YOU DO, ACTUALLY. - WELL, YOU DO, ACTUALLY.
WELL
YOU
DO
ACTUALLY
[Southern accent] YOU GOT THIS KIND OF LIKE [Southern accent] YOU GOT THIS KIND OF LIKE
Southern
accent
YOU
GOT
THIS
KIND
OF
LIKE
FLORIDA PANHANDLE THING GOIN', FLORIDA PANHANDLE THING GOIN',
FLORIDA
PANHANDLE
THING
GOIN'
WHEREAS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT IS MORE OF A WHEREAS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT IS MORE OF A
WHEREAS
WHAT
YOU
REALLY
WANT
IS
MORE
OF
A
[heavier accent] SAVANNAH ACCENT, [heavier accent] SAVANNAH ACCENT,
heavier
accent
SAVANNAH
ACCENT
WHICH IS MORE LIKE MOLASSES, WHICH IS MORE LIKE MOLASSES,
WHICH
IS
MORE
LIKE
MOLASSES
JUST SORT OF SPILLIN' OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. JUST SORT OF SPILLIN' OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.
JUST
SORT
OF
SPILLIN'
OUT
OF
YOUR
MOUTH
- OH, NOW DO THE SWEDISH CHEF. - OH, NOW DO THE SWEDISH CHEF.
OH
NOW
DO
THE
SWEDISH
CHEF
- UH, I'M NOT FAMILIAR. - UH, I'M NOT FAMILIAR.
UH
I'M
NOT
FAMILIAR
WHAT PROVINCE IS HE FROM? WHAT PROVINCE IS HE FROM?
WHAT
PROVINCE
IS
HE
FROM
- HE LIVES ON SESAME STREET, DUMBASS. - HE LIVES ON SESAME STREET, DUMBASS.
HE
LIVES
ON
SESAME
STREET
DUMBASS
- YOU KNOW, I THINK I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY SOMETHING - YOU KNOW, I THINK I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY SOMETHING
YOU
KNOW
I
THINK
I'M
SUPPOSED
TO
SAY
SOMETHING
TO PAM-- I MEAN, DEB. OKAY. TO PAM-- I MEAN, DEB. OKAY.
TO
PAM-
I
MEAN
DEB
OKAY
UM... UM...
UM
[Southern accent] "I OVERHEARD YOU ASKIN' THE BUTLER [Southern accent] "I OVERHEARD YOU ASKIN' THE BUTLER
Southern
accent
I
OVERHEARD
YOU
ASKIN'
THE
BUTLER
WHERE THE PISTOL WAS KEPT." WHERE THE PISTOL WAS KEPT."
WHERE
THE
PISTOL
WAS
KEPT
- [gasps] - [gasps]
gasps
- WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A MINUTE! - WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A MINUTE!
WAIT
A
MINUTE
WAIT
A
MINUTE
I'M THE BUTLER. I'M THE BUTLER.
I'M
THE
BUTLER
YOU WERE LISTENING IN ON THAT? YOU WERE LISTENING IN ON THAT?
YOU
WERE
LISTENING
IN
ON
THAT
OH, YOU RICH PEOPLE. OH, YOU RICH PEOPLE.
OH
YOU
RICH
PEOPLE
YOU THINK YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT YOU THINK YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU WANT
YOU
THINK
YOU
CAN
DO
WHATEVER
YOU
WANT
TO THE SERVANT CLASS! TO THE SERVANT CLASS!
TO
THE
SERVANT
CLASS
- NO, NO, NO. DON'T TURN THIS INTO A POLITICAL THING. - NO, NO, NO. DON'T TURN THIS INTO A POLITICAL THING.
NO
NO
NO
DON'T
TURN
THIS
INTO
A
POLITICAL
THING
- I WILL POISON YOUR FOOD. - I WILL POISON YOUR FOOD.
I
WILL
POISON
YOUR
FOOD
- I RECKON I GOT SOMETHIN' TO SAY - I RECKON I GOT SOMETHIN' TO SAY
I
RECKON
I
GOT
SOMETHIN'
TO
SAY
TO MISS BEATRIX BOURBON IF'N SHE DON'T MIND. TO MISS BEATRIX BOURBON IF'N SHE DON'T MIND.
TO
MISS
BEATRIX
BOURBON
IF'N
SHE
DON'T
MIND
- OOH, DOGGY! WE GOT A PARTY NOW! - OOH, DOGGY! WE GOT A PARTY NOW!
OOH
DOGGY
WE
GOT
A
PARTY
NOW
I DO BELIEVE THAT THE GAME IS A BIG HIT. I DO BELIEVE THAT THE GAME IS A BIG HIT.
I
DO
BELIEVE
THAT
THE
GAME
IS
A
BIG
HIT
PEOPLE ARE REALLY DIVIN' INTO THEIR CHARACTERS. PEOPLE ARE REALLY DIVIN' INTO THEIR CHARACTERS.
PEOPLE
ARE
REALLY
DIVIN'
INTO
THEIR
CHARACTERS
- Y'ALL... - Y'ALL...
Y'ALL
- I MADE A MISTAKE. - I MADE A MISTAKE.
I
MADE
A
MISTAKE
- SORRY I'M LATE, BOSS. WHAT'S GOIN' ON? - SORRY I'M LATE, BOSS. WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
SORRY
I'M
LATE
BOSS
WHAT'S
GOIN'
ON
- SIR, THERE HAS BEEN A MURDER, - SIR, THERE HAS BEEN A MURDER,
SIR
THERE
HAS
BEEN
A
MURDER
AND YOU ARE A SUSPECT. AND YOU ARE A SUSPECT.
AND
YOU
ARE
A
SUSPECT
- OKAY. HANG ON JUST A SECOND. - OKAY. HANG ON JUST A SECOND.
OKAY
HANG
ON
JUST
A
SECOND
LET ME SETTLE IN, AND I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. LET ME SETTLE IN, AND I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
LET
ME
SETTLE
IN
AND
I'LL
BE
RIGHT
BACK
- VERY GOOD! VERY GOOD! - VERY GOOD! VERY GOOD!
VERY
GOOD
VERY
GOOD
NOW, NO ONE WAS THERE IN THE WINE CELLAR. NOW, NO ONE WAS THERE IN THE WINE CELLAR.
NOW
NO
ONE
WAS
THERE
IN
THE
WINE
CELLAR
[tires squeal] [tires squeal]
tires
squeal
- [ in
in
X
character] HEY, THERE, YOUNG LADY. - [in character] HEY, THERE, YOUNG LADY.
in
character
HEY
THERE
YOUNG
LADY
- HELLO. - HELLO.
HELLO
- I WOULD BE REMISS IF I DID NOT ASK - I WOULD BE REMISS IF I DID NOT ASK
I
WOULD
BE
REMISS
IF
I
DID
NOT
ASK
THE PRETTY YOUNG LADY OUT ON A DATE THE PRETTY YOUNG LADY OUT ON A DATE
THE
PRETTY
YOUNG
LADY
OUT
ON
A
DATE
FOR THIS WEEKEND. FOR THIS WEEKEND.
FOR
THIS
WEEKEND
- [ in
in
X
character] SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN, SUGAR. - [in character] SOUNDS LIKE A PLAN, SUGAR.
in
character
SOUNDS
LIKE
A
PLAN
SUGAR
- ALL RIGHT! [chuckles] - ALL RIGHT! [chuckles]
ALL
RIGHT
chuckles
A PLAN IT IS. A PLAN IT IS.
A
PLAN
IT
IS
- [chuckles] - [chuckles]
chuckles
- VOODOO MAMA JUJU, - VOODOO MAMA JUJU,
VOODOO
MAMA
JUJU
EXPLAIN YOUR DALLIANCE WITH THE DARK ARTS. EXPLAIN YOUR DALLIANCE WITH THE DARK ARTS.
EXPLAIN
YOUR
DALLIANCE
WITH
THE
DARK
ARTS
- IT'S NOT MY FAULT. - IT'S NOT MY FAULT.
IT'S
NOT
MY
FAULT
I WAS EXPOSED TO HARRY POTTER. I WAS EXPOSED TO HARRY POTTER.
I
WAS
EXPOSED
TO
HARRY
POTTER
- I KNOW YOU DID IT! - I KNOW YOU DID IT!
I
KNOW
YOU
DID
IT
I KNOW SHE DIDN'T DO IT. I KNOW SHE DIDN'T DO IT.
I
KNOW
SHE
DIDN'T
DO
IT
IT'S NEVER THE PERSON YOU MOST SUSPECT. IT'S NEVER THE PERSON YOU MOST SUSPECT.
IT'S
NEVER
THE
PERSON
YOU
MOST
SUSPECT
IT'S ALSO NEVER THE PERSON YOU LEAST SUSPECT, IT'S ALSO NEVER THE PERSON YOU LEAST SUSPECT,
IT'S
ALSO
NEVER
THE
PERSON
YOU
LEAST
SUSPECT
SINCE ANYONE WITH HALF A BRAIN SINCE ANYONE WITH HALF A BRAIN
SINCE
ANYONE
WITH
HALF
A
BRAIN
WOULD SUSPECT THEM THE MOST. WOULD SUSPECT THEM THE MOST.
WOULD
SUSPECT
THEM
THE
MOST
THEREFORE, I KNOW THE KILLER TO BE PHYLLIS, THEREFORE, I KNOW THE KILLER TO BE PHYLLIS,
THEREFORE
I
KNOW
THE
KILLER
TO
BE
PHYLLIS
A.K.A. BEATRIX BOURBON, A.K.A. BEATRIX BOURBON,
AKA
BEATRIX
BOURBON
THE PERSON I MOST MEDIUM SUSPECT. THE PERSON I MOST MEDIUM SUSPECT.
THE
PERSON
I
MOST
MEDIUM
SUSPECT
- DO YOU WANT TO GO OUT ON A DATE WITH ME? - DO YOU WANT TO GO OUT ON A DATE WITH ME?
DO
YOU
WANT
TO
GO
OUT
ON
A
DATE
WITH
ME
WE CAN MAKE OUT BY THE HORSES. WE CAN MAKE OUT BY THE HORSES.
WE
CAN
MAKE
OUT
BY
THE
HORSES
- WELL, YOU KNOW OLD NELLIE IS ALWAYS UP - WELL, YOU KNOW OLD NELLIE IS ALWAYS UP
WELL
YOU
KNOW
OLD
NELLIE
IS
ALWAYS
UP
FOR A ROMP IN THE HAY. FOR A ROMP IN THE HAY.
FOR
A
ROMP
IN
THE
HAY
- HOW 'BOUT A THREESOME? - HOW 'BOUT A THREESOME?
HOW
'BOUT
A
THREESOME
- [chuckles] YEAH. - [chuckles] YEAH.
chuckles
YEAH
MY BOUDOIR'S ALWAYS OPEN. MY BOUDOIR'S ALWAYS OPEN.
MY
BOUDOIR'S
ALWAYS
OPEN
- NICE. - NICE.
NICE
- I'M A LITTLE WORRIED I MIGHT HAVE ASKED OUT - I'M A LITTLE WORRIED I MIGHT HAVE ASKED OUT
I'M
A
LITTLE
WORRIED
I
MIGHT
HAVE
ASKED
OUT
NAUGHTY NELLIE AND NOT ERIN. NAUGHTY NELLIE AND NOT ERIN.
NAUGHTY
NELLIE
AND
NOT
ERIN
WHICH WOULD BE A WHOLE LOT LESS APPEALING, WHICH WOULD BE A WHOLE LOT LESS APPEALING,
WHICH
WOULD
BE
A
WHOLE
LOT
LESS
APPEALING
BECAUSE NAUGHTY NELLIE SAYS YES TO EVERYONE, BECAUSE NAUGHTY NELLIE SAYS YES TO EVERYONE,
BECAUSE
NAUGHTY
NELLIE
SAYS
YES
TO
EVERYONE
AND SHE MIGHT BE A MURDERER. AND SHE MIGHT BE A MURDERER.
AND
SHE
MIGHT
BE
A
MURDERER
- FOLLOW BEFORE... - FOLLOW BEFORE...
FOLLOW
BEFORE
- I JUST GOT AN EMAIL FROM CORPORATE, - I JUST GOT AN EMAIL FROM CORPORATE,
I
JUST
GOT
AN
EMAIL
FROM
CORPORATE
SPECIFICALLY FOR ACCOUNTING SPECIFICALLY FOR ACCOUNTING
SPECIFICALLY
FOR
ACCOUNTING
TO STOP ALL PAYMENTS TO OUR VENDORS. TO STOP ALL PAYMENTS TO OUR VENDORS.
TO
STOP
ALL
PAYMENTS
TO
OUR
VENDORS
- WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? - WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
WHAT
DOES
THAT
MEAN
- WELL, MAYBE NOTHING, BUT IT COULD BE A PROB-- - WELL, MAYBE NOTHING, BUT IT COULD BE A PROB--
WELL
MAYBE
NOTHING
BUT
IT
COULD
BE
A
PROB-
- WHOA! WHAT'S THIS STRANGE YANKEE ACCENT - WHOA! WHAT'S THIS STRANGE YANKEE ACCENT
WHOA
WHAT'S
THIS
STRANGE
YANKEE
ACCENT
COMIN' OUT OF YOUR MOUTH, SON? COMIN' OUT OF YOUR MOUTH, SON?
COMIN'
OUT
OF
YOUR
MOUTH
SON
THIS HERE IS SAVANNAH. THIS HERE IS SAVANNAH.
THIS
HERE
IS
SAVANNAH
- PHYLLIS, UH... - PHYLLIS, UH...
PHYLLIS
UH
[high-pitched Southern accent] UH...THIS... [high-pitched Southern accent] UH...THIS...
high-pitched
Southern
accent
UHTHIS
UH, PLAN--PLANTA-- THIS PLANTATION, UH, PLAN--PLANTA-- THIS PLANTATION,
UH
PLAN--PLANTA-
THIS
PLANTATION
WE'RE RUNNIN' LOW ON, UH, GREENBACKS, WE'RE RUNNIN' LOW ON, UH, GREENBACKS,
WE'RE
RUNNIN'
LOW
ON
UH
GREENBACKS
AND WE'RE HAVIN' PROBLEMS PAYIN' THE PEOPLE AND WE'RE HAVIN' PROBLEMS PAYIN' THE PEOPLE
AND
WE'RE
HAVIN'
PROBLEMS
PAYIN'
THE
PEOPLE
WHO GIVE US THE SEEDS AND THE DIRT. WHO GIVE US THE SEEDS AND THE DIRT.
WHO
GIVE
US
THE
SEEDS
AND
THE
DIRT
WE CAN'T PAY 'EM. WE CAN'T PAY 'EM.
WE
CAN'T
PAY
'EM
[normal voice] MICHAEL, I CAN'T-- [normal voice] MICHAEL, I CAN'T--
normal
voice
MICHAEL
I
CAN'T-
BASICALLY, IT COULD MEAN A LOT OF THINGS, BASICALLY, IT COULD MEAN A LOT OF THINGS,
BASICALLY
IT
COULD
MEAN
A
LOT
OF
THINGS
BUT IT IS UNPRECEDENTED, BUT IT IS UNPRECEDENTED,
BUT
IT
IS
UNPRECEDENTED
SO IT'S CAUSE FOR CONCERN. SO IT'S CAUSE FOR CONCERN.
SO
IT'S
CAUSE
FOR
CONCERN
- OKAY, I'M GOING BACK TO WORK. - OKAY, I'M GOING BACK TO WORK.
OKAY
I'M
GOING
BACK
TO
WORK
- NO. NO, NO. NO. NO. - NO. NO, NO. NO. NO.
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO
NO, NO, I'M GONNA SKIP FORWARD NO, NO, I'M GONNA SKIP FORWARD
NO
NO
I'M
GONNA
SKIP
FORWARD
TO A REALLY BIG CLUE. HERE WE GO. TO A REALLY BIG CLUE. HERE WE GO.
TO
A
REALLY
BIG
CLUE
HERE
WE
GO
- narrator on
on
X
CD: WELL, BY NOW, YOU FIGURED OUT - narrator on CD: WELL, BY NOW, YOU FIGURED OUT
narrator
on
CD:
WELL
BY
NOW
YOU
FIGURED
OUT
THAT OLD BEATRIX BOURBON WAS THE KILLER. THAT OLD BEATRIX BOURBON WAS THE KILLER.
THAT
OLD
BEATRIX
BOURBON
WAS
THE
KILLER
- WHAT? - WHAT?
WHAT
- MICHAEL, I WAS DOING SO WELL. - MICHAEL, I WAS DOING SO WELL.
MICHAEL
I
WAS
DOING
SO
WELL
- [ in
in
X
character] ARE YOU GOIN' TO BELIEVE THAT? - [in character] ARE YOU GOIN' TO BELIEVE THAT?
in
character
ARE
YOU
GOIN'
TO
BELIEVE
THAT
THAT IS A MIS-- THAT IS A MIS--
THAT
IS
A
MIS-
THAT'S A MISDIRECTION. THAT'S A MISDIRECTION.
THAT'S
A
MISDIRECTION
WE STILL DON'T KNOW WHO THE MURDERER IS. WE STILL DON'T KNOW WHO THE MURDERER IS.
WE
STILL
DON'T
KNOW
WHO
THE
MURDERER
IS
NELLIE NUTMEG, COME BACK IN HEYAH! NELLIE NUTMEG, COME BACK IN HEYAH!
NELLIE
NUTMEG
COME
BACK
IN
HEYAH
I CAN'T DO THIS MAHSELF. I CAN'T DO THIS MAHSELF.
I
CAN'T
DO
THIS
MAHSELF
VOODOO MAMA JUJU! VOODOO MAMA JUJU!
VOODOO
MAMA
JUJU
WHAT AM I GONNA DO? WHAT AM I GONNA DO?
WHAT
AM
I
GONNA
DO
- OKAY, SO CORPORATE IS STILL IN THEIR MEETING. - OKAY, SO CORPORATE IS STILL IN THEIR MEETING.
OKAY
SO
CORPORATE
IS
STILL
IN
THEIR
MEETING
- THAT COULD BE A GOOD SIGN. - THAT COULD BE A GOOD SIGN.
THAT
COULD
BE
A
GOOD
SIGN
- HEY, EVERYONE, KEVIN'S GONNA GIVE US HIS TAKE - HEY, EVERYONE, KEVIN'S GONNA GIVE US HIS TAKE
HEY
EVERYONE
KEVIN'S
GONNA
GIVE
US
HIS
TAKE
ON THE SITUATION. LET'S LISTEN UP. ON THE SITUATION. LET'S LISTEN UP.
ON
THE
SITUATION
LET'S
LISTEN
UP
- ALL RIGHT, GUYS, IT'S A WORKDAY, - ALL RIGHT, GUYS, IT'S A WORKDAY,
ALL
RIGHT
GUYS
IT'S
A
WORKDAY
AND YOU GUYS WORK HERE, SO LET'S GO DO SOME WORK. AND YOU GUYS WORK HERE, SO LET'S GO DO SOME WORK.
AND
YOU
GUYS
WORK
HERE
SO
LET'S
GO
DO
SOME
WORK
- NOW, JIM TELLING US ALL TO WORK, - NOW, JIM TELLING US ALL TO WORK,
NOW
JIM
TELLING
US
ALL
TO
WORK
I THINK THAT IS A VERY GOOD SIGN. I THINK THAT IS A VERY GOOD SIGN.
I
THINK
THAT
IS
A
VERY
GOOD
SIGN
- DON'T JUST SAY THINGS. - DON'T JUST SAY THINGS.
DON'T
JUST
SAY
THINGS
[Michael whistling a tune] [Michael whistling a tune]
Michael
whistling
a
tune
- OH, GOOD, MICHAEL. - OH, GOOD, MICHAEL.
OH
GOOD
MICHAEL
LISTEN, I WROTE UP THOSE SALES TARGETS-- LISTEN, I WROTE UP THOSE SALES TARGETS--
LISTEN
I
WROTE
UP
THOSE
SALES
TARGETS-
- [ in
in
X
character] I DO BELIEVE YOU HAVE ME MISTAKEN. - [in character] I DO BELIEVE YOU HAVE ME MISTAKEN.
in
character
I
DO
BELIEVE
YOU
HAVE
ME
MISTAKEN
MY NAME IS CALEB CRAWDAD. MY NAME IS CALEB CRAWDAD.
MY
NAME
IS
CALEB
CRAWDAD
Y'ALL SKEDADDLED WAY TOO SOON. Y'ALL SKEDADDLED WAY TOO SOON.
Y'ALL
SKEDADDLED
WAY
TOO
SOON
WE NEED TO RE-OPEN THIS CASE. WE NEED TO RE-OPEN THIS CASE.
WE
NEED
TO
RE-OPEN
THIS
CASE
- NO, YOU'RE NOT RE-OPENING THE CASE. - NO, YOU'RE NOT RE-OPENING THE CASE.
NO
YOU'RE
NOT
RE-OPENING
THE
CASE
THE CASE IS CLOSED. THE CASE IS CLOSED.
THE
CASE
IS
CLOSED
- NO, IT AIN'T. - NO, IT AIN'T.
NO
IT
AIN'T
- FRANKLY, I'M NOT SURPRISED. - FRANKLY, I'M NOT SURPRISED.
FRANKLY
I'M
NOT
SURPRISED
A LOT OF THE EVIDENCE SEEMED TO BE BASED ON PUNS. A LOT OF THE EVIDENCE SEEMED TO BE BASED ON PUNS.
A
LOT
OF
THE
EVIDENCE
SEEMED
TO
BE
BASED
ON
PUNS
- [giggling] - [giggling]
giggling
- I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT "WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S." - I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT "WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S."
I
WAS
JUST
THINKING
ABOUT
WEEKEND
AT
BERNIE'S
SO FUNNY. THE GUY'S DEAD THE WHOLE TIME. SO FUNNY. THE GUY'S DEAD THE WHOLE TIME.
SO
FUNNY
THE
GUY'S
DEAD
THE
WHOLE
TIME
- [laughs] I HAVEN'T SEEN IT. - [laughs] I HAVEN'T SEEN IT.
laughs
I
HAVEN'T
SEEN
IT
- SPEAKING OF WEEKENDS, - SPEAKING OF WEEKENDS,
SPEAKING
OF
WEEKENDS
YOU EXCITED ABOUT OUR DATE THIS WEEKEND? YOU EXCITED ABOUT OUR DATE THIS WEEKEND?
YOU
EXCITED
ABOUT
OUR
DATE
THIS
WEEKEND
- [ in
in
X
character] OF COURSE, NATHANIEL. - [in character] OF COURSE, NATHANIEL.
in
character
OF
COURSE
NATHANIEL
- OKAY. - OKAY.
OKAY
- WHERE ARE YOU TAKIN' ME? - WHERE ARE YOU TAKIN' ME?
WHERE
ARE
YOU
TAKIN'
ME
- [ in
in
X
character] WELL... - [in character] WELL...
in
character
WELL
THE FINEST STEAKHOUSE IN ALL SAVANNAH. THE FINEST STEAKHOUSE IN ALL SAVANNAH.
THE
FINEST
STEAKHOUSE
IN
ALL
SAVANNAH
- SAVANNAH? - SAVANNAH?
SAVANNAH
THAT'S A FAR WAY FROM SCRANTON. THAT'S A FAR WAY FROM SCRANTON.
THAT'S
A
FAR
WAY
FROM
SCRANTON
- DID YOU MEAN A REAL DATE? - DID YOU MEAN A REAL DATE?
DID
YOU
MEAN
A
REAL
DATE
- NO. - NO.
NO
DID YOU? DID YOU?
DID
YOU
- TOTALLY NOT. - TOTALLY NOT.
TOTALLY
NOT
- I THOUGHT IT WAS FOR REAL... - I THOUGHT IT WAS FOR REAL...
I
THOUGHT
IT
WAS
FOR
REAL
SO I WAS EXCITED, SO I WAS EXCITED,
SO
I
WAS
EXCITED
BUT IT WAS JUST-- IT WAS PART OF THE GAME. BUT IT WAS JUST-- IT WAS PART OF THE GAME.
BUT
IT
WAS
JUST-
IT
WAS
PART
OF
THE
GAME
- YOU'RE SURE IT WAS WATER? - YOU'RE SURE IT WAS WATER?
YOU'RE
SURE
IT
WAS
WATER
IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN ACID? IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN ACID?
IT
COULDN'T
HAVE
BEEN
ACID
- [ in
in
X
character] I ALREADY DECLARED YOU - [in character] I ALREADY DECLARED YOU
in
character
I
ALREADY
DECLARED
YOU
IT WAS TOO DARK TO TELL! IT WAS TOO DARK TO TELL!
IT
WAS
TOO
DARK
TO
TELL
- STOP PLAYING GAMES WITH ME, CRAWDAD! - STOP PLAYING GAMES WITH ME, CRAWDAD!
STOP
PLAYING
GAMES
WITH
ME
CRAWDAD
- THIS IS NOT A GAME! THIS IS MY LIFE! - THIS IS NOT A GAME! THIS IS MY LIFE!
THIS
IS
NOT
A
GAME
THIS
IS
MY
LIFE
YOU ARE OUT OF ORDER, SIR! YOU ARE OUT OF ORDER, SIR!
YOU
ARE
OUT
OF
ORDER
SIR
- ANSWER ME! - YOU ARE OUT OF ORDER! - ANSWER ME! - YOU ARE OUT OF ORDER!
ANSWER
ME
YOU
ARE
OUT
OF
ORDER
- YOU ARE OUT OF ORDER! - YOU ARE OUT-- - YOU ARE OUT OF ORDER! - YOU ARE OUT--
YOU
ARE
OUT
OF
ORDER
YOU
ARE
OUT-
- I THINK MICHAEL MAY HAVE SNAPPED. - I THINK MICHAEL MAY HAVE SNAPPED.
I
THINK
MICHAEL
MAY
HAVE
SNAPPED
- OR MAYBE HE'S JUST STUCK IN CHARACTER. - OR MAYBE HE'S JUST STUCK IN CHARACTER.
OR
MAYBE
HE'S
JUST
STUCK
IN
CHARACTER
- WELL, WHICH IS WORSE? - WELL, WHICH IS WORSE?
WELL
WHICH
IS
WORSE
SNAPPED OR STUCK? SNAPPED OR STUCK?
SNAPPED
OR
STUCK
- BOTH. - BOTH.
BOTH
THEY'RE BOTH WORSE. THEY'RE BOTH WORSE.
THEY'RE
BOTH
WORSE
IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT. IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.
IT'S
GONNA
BE
ALL
RIGHT
WE'RE A GOOD COMPANY. WE'RE A GOOD COMPANY.
WE'RE
A
GOOD
COMPANY
WE'LL FIGURE THIS OUT. WE'LL FIGURE THIS OUT.
WE'LL
FIGURE
THIS
OUT
WE'RE NOT GOING UNDER. WE'RE NOT GOING UNDER.
WE'RE
NOT
GOING
UNDER
- JIM, WHAT IF WE BOTH LOSE OUR JOBS? - JIM, WHAT IF WE BOTH LOSE OUR JOBS?
JIM
WHAT
IF
WE
BOTH
LOSE
OUR
JOBS
I'M TRYING TO THINK OF A WAY I'M TRYING TO THINK OF A WAY
I'M
TRYING
TO
THINK
OF
A
WAY
THAT THIS ALL ENDS UP FINE, THAT THIS ALL ENDS UP FINE,
THAT
THIS
ALL
ENDS
UP
FINE
AND I CAN'T THINK OF ONE. AND I CAN'T THINK OF ONE.
AND
I
CAN'T
THINK
OF
ONE
- [ in
in
X
character] DEB, WHAT IN THE WORLD? - [in character] DEB, WHAT IN THE WORLD?
in
character
DEB
WHAT
IN
THE
WORLD
DO YOU HAVE THE VAPORS? DO YOU HAVE THE VAPORS?
DO
YOU
HAVE
THE
VAPORS
- MICHAEL! NOT NOW. - CAN'T WAIT. - MICHAEL! NOT NOW. - CAN'T WAIT.
MICHAEL
NOT
NOW
CAN'T
WAIT
WE HAVE TO GET YOU TO OUR WITCH DOCTOR RIGHT NOW. WE HAVE TO GET YOU TO OUR WITCH DOCTOR RIGHT NOW.
WE
HAVE
TO
GET
YOU
TO
OUR
WITCH
DOCTOR
RIGHT
NOW
COME ON. COME ON.
COME
ON
- UH... - COME ON! - UH... - COME ON!
UH
COME
ON
- [whispering] I SHOULD JUST GO. - [whispering] I SHOULD JUST GO.
whispering
I
SHOULD
JUST
GO
[ in
in
X
character] WHERE TO NOW, CALEB? [in character] WHERE TO NOW, CALEB?
in
character
WHERE
TO
NOW
CALEB
- TO MAMA JUJU BOO-BOO. - TO MAMA JUJU BOO-BOO.
TO
MAMA
JUJU
BOO-BOO
- MICHAEL, CAN I-- [knocking] - MICHAEL, CAN I-- [knocking]
MICHAEL
CAN
I-
knocking
OKAY, I'M JUST GONNA SKIP RIGHT PAST THE WHAT OKAY, I'M JUST GONNA SKIP RIGHT PAST THE WHAT
OKAY
I'M
JUST
GONNA
SKIP
RIGHT
PAST
THE
WHAT
AND GO WITH WHY? AND GO WITH WHY?
AND
GO
WITH
WHY
- BECAUSE THIS IS THE RE-CREATION - BECAUSE THIS IS THE RE-CREATION
BECAUSE
THIS
IS
THE
RE-CREATION
OF A CRIME SCENE. OF A CRIME SCENE.
OF
A
CRIME
SCENE
- I'M THE DEAD BODY, AND THESE ARE MY BRAIN CHUNKS. - I'M THE DEAD BODY, AND THESE ARE MY BRAIN CHUNKS.
I'M
THE
DEAD
BODY
AND
THESE
ARE
MY
BRAIN
CHUNKS
- HEY, SHUT UP. YOU'RE DEAD. - HEY, SHUT UP. YOU'RE DEAD.
HEY
SHUT
UP
YOU'RE
DEAD
- MICHAEL, CAN I TALK TO YOU IN YOUR OFFICE? - MICHAEL, CAN I TALK TO YOU IN YOUR OFFICE?
MICHAEL
CAN
I
TALK
TO
YOU
IN
YOUR
OFFICE
- NO MICHAEL HERE. - CALEB! - NO MICHAEL HERE. - CALEB!
NO
MICHAEL
HERE
CALEB
[door slams] [door slams]
door
slams
TODAY, OF ALL DAYS-- - NO! YOU SHUT UP! TODAY, OF ALL DAYS-- - NO! YOU SHUT UP!
TODAY
OF
ALL
DAYS-
NO
YOU
SHUT
UP
THEY NEED THIS GAME, JIM. THEY NEED THIS GAME, JIM.
THEY
NEED
THIS
GAME
JIM
LET US HAVE THIS STUPID LITTLE GAME, LET US HAVE THIS STUPID LITTLE GAME,
LET
US
HAVE
THIS
STUPID
LITTLE
GAME
ALL RIGHT? ALL RIGHT?
ALL
RIGHT
[knock at
at
X
door] [knock at door]
knock
at
door
[ in
in
X
character] OH! YOU STARTLED ME! [in character] OH! YOU STARTLED ME!
in
character
OH
YOU
STARTLED
ME
MY STARS, MY HEART NEARLY LEAPT OUT OF MY CHEST. MY STARS, MY HEART NEARLY LEAPT OUT OF MY CHEST.
MY
STARS
MY
HEART
NEARLY
LEAPT
OUT
OF
MY
CHEST
WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR? WHAT CAN I DO YOU FOR?
WHAT
CAN
I
DO
YOU
FOR
- WALLACE IS ON THE PHONE. - WALLACE IS ON THE PHONE.
WALLACE
IS
ON
THE
PHONE
HE'S RETURNING YOUR CALL. HE'S RETURNING YOUR CALL.
HE'S
RETURNING
YOUR
CALL
- DETECTIVE WALLACE? - DETECTIVE WALLACE?
DETECTIVE
WALLACE
- I DON'T THINK SO. - I DON'T THINK SO.
I
DON'T
THINK
SO
I THINK IT'S DAVID WALLACE I THINK IT'S DAVID WALLACE
I
THINK
IT'S
DAVID
WALLACE
FROM DUNDER MIFFLIN. FROM DUNDER MIFFLIN.
FROM
DUNDER
MIFFLIN
- AW, SHUCKS. TELL HIM I'M NOT HEYAH. - AW, SHUCKS. TELL HIM I'M NOT HEYAH.
AW
SHUCKS
TELL
HIM
I'M
NOT
HEYAH
- YOU'RE NOT GONNA ANSWER THE PHONE? - YOU'RE NOT GONNA ANSWER THE PHONE?
YOU'RE
NOT
GONNA
ANSWER
THE
PHONE
- NO, I ONLY ANSWER TO DETECTIVE WALLACE, - NO, I ONLY ANSWER TO DETECTIVE WALLACE,
NO
I
ONLY
ANSWER
TO
DETECTIVE
WALLACE
'CAUSE I GOT A WARM BODY IN THE OTHER ROOM. 'CAUSE I GOT A WARM BODY IN THE OTHER ROOM.
'CAUSE
I
GOT
A
WARM
BODY
IN
THE
OTHER
ROOM
- I'LL TAKE IT. - I'LL TAKE IT.
I'LL
TAKE
IT
HEY, DAVID. HEY, DAVID.
HEY
DAVID
- HEY. SORRY TO BE GETTIN' BACK TO YOU GUYS SO LATE. - HEY. SORRY TO BE GETTIN' BACK TO YOU GUYS SO LATE.
HEY
SORRY
TO
BE
GETTIN'
BACK
TO
YOU
GUYS
SO
LATE
THINGS ARE STILL A BIT UNCLEAR. THINGS ARE STILL A BIT UNCLEAR.
THINGS
ARE
STILL
A
BIT
UNCLEAR
WE DIDN'T OFFICIALLY DECIDE ANYTHING YET. WE DIDN'T OFFICIALLY DECIDE ANYTHING YET.
WE
DIDN'T
OFFICIALLY
DECIDE
ANYTHING
YET
- OH, OKAY. - OH, OKAY.
OH
OKAY
- BUT IF I CAN BE CANDID WITH YOU HERE, JIM... - BUT IF I CAN BE CANDID WITH YOU HERE, JIM...
BUT
IF
I
CAN
BE
CANDID
WITH
YOU
HERE
JIM
- MM-HMM. - MM-HMM.
MM-HMM
- IT'S NOT GOOD. - IT'S NOT GOOD.
IT'S
NOT
GOOD
WE FULLY EXPECT TO BE OUT OF MONEY WE FULLY EXPECT TO BE OUT OF MONEY
WE
FULLY
EXPECT
TO
BE
OUT
OF
MONEY
BY THE END OF THE YEAR-- INSOLVENT. BY THE END OF THE YEAR-- INSOLVENT.
BY
THE
END
OF
THE
YEAR-
INSOLVENT
[sighs] [sighs]
sighs
SO...WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? SO...WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?
SOWELL
YOU
KNOW
WHAT
I'M SORRY. I HAVE TO RUN. I'M SORRY. I HAVE TO RUN.
I'M
SORRY
I
HAVE
TO
RUN
BUT WE WILL TALK SOON, OKAY? BUT WE WILL TALK SOON, OKAY?
BUT
WE
WILL
TALK
SOON
OKAY
- SURE. - OKAY. - SURE. - OKAY.
SURE
OKAY
- OH, YOU KNOW, WHILE I HAVE YOU, - OH, YOU KNOW, WHILE I HAVE YOU,
OH
YOU
KNOW
WHILE
I
HAVE
YOU
TODAY I WAS WORKING ON THIS PITCH TODAY I WAS WORKING ON THIS PITCH
TODAY
I
WAS
WORKING
ON
THIS
PITCH
FOR A SUPERMARKET CHAIN... - GREAT. FOR A SUPERMARKET CHAIN... - GREAT.
FOR
A
SUPERMARKET
CHAIN
GREAT
- AND IT WOULD ACTUALLY BE A BIG ACCOUNT. - AND IT WOULD ACTUALLY BE A BIG ACCOUNT.
AND
IT
WOULD
ACTUALLY
BE
A
BIG
ACCOUNT
- OKAY, LOOK, YOU KNOW WHAT? - OKAY, LOOK, YOU KNOW WHAT?
OKAY
LOOK
YOU
KNOW
WHAT
I CAN'T REALLY GET MY HEAD AROUND ANYTHING I CAN'T REALLY GET MY HEAD AROUND ANYTHING
I
CAN'T
REALLY
GET
MY
HEAD
AROUND
ANYTHING
LIKE THAT RIGHT NOW, BUT THAT'S GREAT. LIKE THAT RIGHT NOW, BUT THAT'S GREAT.
LIKE
THAT
RIGHT
NOW
BUT
THAT'S
GREAT
KEEP AFTER IT, BUT I GOTTA RUN. KEEP AFTER IT, BUT I GOTTA RUN.
KEEP
AFTER
IT
BUT
I
GOTTA
RUN
- OKAY. - THANKS, JIM. - OKAY. - THANKS, JIM.
OKAY
THANKS
JIM
- SEE YA. - SEE YA.
SEE
YA
AHEM. AHEM.
AHEM
- WHAT'S THE NEWS? - WHAT'S THE NEWS?
WHAT'S
THE
NEWS
- NOTHING YET. - NOTHING YET.
NOTHING
YET
- WELL, I GUESS THAT'S NOT... - WELL, I GUESS THAT'S NOT...
WELL
I
GUESS
THAT'S
NOT
- WELL, THERE IS SOME BAD NEWS. - WELL, THERE IS SOME BAD NEWS.
WELL
THERE
IS
SOME
BAD
NEWS
[Southern accent] THERE HAS BEEN ANOTHER MURDER. [Southern accent] THERE HAS BEEN ANOTHER MURDER.
Southern
accent
THERE
HAS
BEEN
ANOTHER
MURDER
- [ in
in
X
character] A MURDER, YOU SAY? - [in character] A MURDER, YOU SAY?
in
character
A
MURDER
YOU
SAY
I DO DECLARE. I DO DECLARE.
I
DO
DECLARE
- CONFERENCE ROOM, EVERYONE. - CONFERENCE ROOM, EVERYONE.
CONFERENCE
ROOM
EVERYONE
- DO WE HAVE TO PLAY? - DO WE HAVE TO PLAY?
DO
WE
HAVE
TO
PLAY
- NO. - SUPER. - NO. - SUPER.
NO
SUPER
- OH, THIS COULD BE A JUICY ONE. - OH, THIS COULD BE A JUICY ONE.
OH
THIS
COULD
BE
A
JUICY
ONE
- GET IN THERE! GET IN THERE! - GET IN THERE! GET IN THERE!
GET
IN
THERE
GET
IN
THERE
- I THINK TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY - I THINK TODAY WAS A GOOD DAY
I
THINK
TODAY
WAS
A
GOOD
DAY
TO HAVE TWO MANAGERS, TO HAVE TWO MANAGERS,
TO
HAVE
TWO
MANAGERS
BECAUSE IF YOU'RE A FAMILY BECAUSE IF YOU'RE A FAMILY
BECAUSE
IF
YOU'RE
A
FAMILY
STUCK ON A LIFEBOAT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN, STUCK ON A LIFEBOAT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE OCEAN,
STUCK
ON
A
LIFEBOAT
IN
THE
MIDDLE
OF
THE
OCEAN
ONE PARENT MIGHT WANT TO JUST KEEP ROWING. ONE PARENT MIGHT WANT TO JUST KEEP ROWING.
ONE
PARENT
MIGHT
WANT
TO
JUST
KEEP
ROWING
BUT IF THE OTHER PARENT WANTS TO PLAY A GAME, BUT IF THE OTHER PARENT WANTS TO PLAY A GAME,
BUT
IF
THE
OTHER
PARENT
WANTS
TO
PLAY
A
GAME
IT'S NOT BECAUSE THEY'RE CRAZY. IT'S NOT BECAUSE THEY'RE CRAZY.
IT'S
NOT
BECAUSE
THEY'RE
CRAZY
IT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE DOING IT FOR THE KIDS. IT'S BECAUSE THEY'RE DOING IT FOR THE KIDS.
IT'S
BECAUSE
THEY'RE
DOING
IT
FOR
THE
KIDS
AND I GET THAT NOW. AND I GET THAT NOW.
AND
I
GET
THAT
NOW
- [ in
in
X
character] THERE HAS BEEN - [in character] THERE HAS BEEN
in
character
THERE
HAS
BEEN
A LOT OF MURDER AND A LOT OF INTRIGUE. A LOT OF MURDER AND A LOT OF INTRIGUE.
A
LOT
OF
MURDER
AND
A
LOT
OF
INTRIGUE
MY LITTLE HEART CAN BARELY TAKE IT NO MORE. MY LITTLE HEART CAN BARELY TAKE IT NO MORE.
MY
LITTLE
HEART
CAN
BARELY
TAKE
IT
NO
MORE
[normal voice] TODAY IS THE HARDEST [normal voice] TODAY IS THE HARDEST
normal
voice
TODAY
IS
THE
HARDEST
I HAVE WORKED IN A LONG, LONG TIME. I HAVE WORKED IN A LONG, LONG TIME.
I
HAVE
WORKED
IN
A
LONG
LONG
TIME
- I DIDN'T DO IT! - I DIDN'T DO IT!
I
DIDN'T
DO
IT
- OKAY, EVER'BODY JUST CALM DOWN. - OKAY, EVER'BODY JUST CALM DOWN.
OKAY
EVER'BODY
JUST
CALM
DOWN
- I AM CALM. - I AM CALM.
I
AM
CALM
- COUNT OF THREE, WE'RE ALL GONNA PUT DOWN OUR GUNS. - COUNT OF THREE, WE'RE ALL GONNA PUT DOWN OUR GUNS.
COUNT
OF
THREE
WE'RE
ALL
GONNA
PUT
DOWN
OUR
GUNS
- I HAVE CROSSBOWS. - I HAVE CROSSBOWS.
I
HAVE
CROSSBOWS
- WE'LL PUT DOWN OUR WEAPONRY - WE'LL PUT DOWN OUR WEAPONRY
WE'LL
PUT
DOWN
OUR
WEAPONRY
ON THE COUNT OF THREE. ON THE COUNT OF THREE.
ON
THE
COUNT
OF
THREE
- OKAY. - OKAY.
OKAY
- YOU READY? - I'M READY. - YOU READY? - I'M READY.
YOU
READY
I'M
READY
- ONE... - ONE...
ONE
TWO... - TWO. TWO... - TWO.
TWO
TWO
- THREE. - THREE.
THREE
- THREE. - THREE.
THREE
all: [shouting] all: [shouting]
all:
shouting
- ANDY REVEALED HIMSELF TO BE A DOUBLE AGENT, - ANDY REVEALED HIMSELF TO BE A DOUBLE AGENT,
ANDY
REVEALED
HIMSELF
TO
BE
A
DOUBLE
AGENT
AT WHICH POINT, DWIGHT FELT COMFORTABLE AT WHICH POINT, DWIGHT FELT COMFORTABLE
AT
WHICH
POINT
DWIGHT
FELT
COMFORTABLE
REVEALING THAT HE ALSO WAS A DOUBLE AGENT, REVEALING THAT HE ALSO WAS A DOUBLE AGENT,
REVEALING
THAT
HE
ALSO
WAS
A
DOUBLE
AGENT
AND THEN, MICHAEL ANNOUNCED TO EVERYBODY AND THEN, MICHAEL ANNOUNCED TO EVERYBODY
AND
THEN
MICHAEL
ANNOUNCED
TO
EVERYBODY
THAT, GET THIS, THAT, GET THIS,
THAT
GET
THIS
HE WAS A DOUBLE AGENT. HE WAS A DOUBLE AGENT.
HE
WAS
A
DOUBLE
AGENT
OH, AND IT IS 6:00. OH, AND IT IS 6:00.
OH
AND
IT
IS
6:00
REALLY? REALLY?
REALLY
- IT WASN'T ME! - IT WASN'T ME!
IT
WASN'T
ME
I'M NOT GOIN' DOWN FOR THIS! I'M NOT GOIN' DOWN FOR THIS!
I'M
NOT
GOIN'
DOWN
FOR
THIS
- HEY, I WANT TO GO HOME. - HEY, I WANT TO GO HOME.
HEY
I
WANT
TO
GO
HOME
- GET THE KEYS OUT OF MY PURSE, - GET THE KEYS OUT OF MY PURSE,
GET
THE
KEYS
OUT
OF
MY
PURSE
START THE CAR. START THE CAR.
START
THE
CAR
all: [shouting] all: [shouting]
all:
shouting
[imitating gunshots] [imitating gunshots]
imitating
gunshots
[screaming] [screaming]
screaming

/

words

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