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[whimsical music playing] [whimsical music playing]
whimsical
music
playing
Hey, gods. It's Devi Vishwakumar, Hey, gods. It's Devi Vishwakumar,
Hey
gods
It's
Devi
Vishwakumar
your favorite Hindu girl in the San Fernando Valley. your favorite Hindu girl in the San Fernando Valley.
your
favorite
Hindu
girl
in
the
San
Fernando
Valley
What's a-poppin'? What's a-poppin'?
What's
a-poppin'
It's the first day of
of
X
school, and I thought we should have a check in
in
X
. It's the first day of school, and I thought we should have a check in.
It's
the
first
day
of
school
and
I
thought
we
should
have
a
check
in
I think we can all agree that last year sucked I think we can all agree that last year sucked
I
think
we
can
all
agree
that
last
year
sucked
for
for
X
a number of
of
X
reasons. for a number of reasons.
for
a
number
of
reasons
So I thought of
of
X
a few ways you guys can make it up
up
X
to
to
X
me. So I thought of a few ways you guys can make it up to me.
So
I
thought
of
a
few
ways
you
guys
can
make
it
up
to
me
One: I'd like
like
X
to
to
X
be invited to
to
X
a party with
with
X
alcohol and hard drugs. One: I'd like to be invited to a party with alcohol and hard drugs.
One:
I'd
like
to
be
invited
to
a
party
with
alcohol
and
hard
drugs
I'm not gonna do them. I'd just like
like
X
the opportunity to
to
X
say: I'm not gonna do them. I'd just like the opportunity to say:
I'm
not
gonna
do
them
I'd
just
like
the
opportunity
to
say:
"No cocaine for
for
X
me, thanks. I'm good." "No cocaine for me, thanks. I'm good."
No
cocaine
for
me
thanks
I'm
good
Two: I'd love for
for
X
my arm hair to
to
X
thin out. Two: I'd love for my arm hair to thin out.
Two:
I'd
love
for
my
arm
hair
to
thin
out
I know it's an Indian thing, I know it's an Indian thing,
I
know
it's
an
Indian
thing
but
but
X
my forearms look like
like
X
the frigging floor of
of
X
a barber shop. but my forearms look like the frigging floor of a barber shop.
but
my
forearms
look
like
the
frigging
floor
of
a
barber
shop
And lastly, most importantly, And lastly, most importantly,
And
lastly
most
importantly
I'd really, really like
like
X
a boyfriend, I'd really, really like a boyfriend,
I'd
really
really
like
a
boyfriend
but
but
X
not some nerd from
from
X
one of
of
X
AP classes. but not some nerd from one of AP classes.
but
not
some
nerd
from
one
of
AP
classes
Like a guy from
from
X
a sports team. Like a guy from a sports team.
Like
a
guy
from
a
sports
team
He can be dumb. I don't care. He can be dumb. I don't care.
He
can
be
dumb
I
don't
care
I just want him to be a stone-cold hottie, who could rock me all night long. I just want him to be a stone-cold hottie, who could rock me all night long.
I
just
want
him
to
be
a
stone-cold
hottie
who
could
rock
me
all
night
long
Thanks for
for
X
considering
considering
X
. I love you guys. Thanks for considering. I love you guys.
Thanks
for
considering
I
love
you
guys
[narrator] As she said, this is Devi Vishwakumar. [narrator] As she said, this is Devi Vishwakumar.
narrator
As
she
said
this
is
Devi
Vishwakumar
She's a 15-year-old Indian-American girl from
from
X
Sherman Oaks, California, She's a 15-year-old Indian-American girl from Sherman Oaks, California,
She's
a
15-year-old
Indian-American
girl
from
Sherman
Oaks
California
and it's her first day of
of
X
sophomore year. and it's her first day of sophomore year.
and
it's
her
first
day
of
sophomore
year
And I am legendary tennis player, John McEnroe. And I am legendary tennis player, John McEnroe.
And
I
am
legendary
tennis
player
John
McEnroe
-[upbeat music plays] -[in video] Point to
to
X
Mr. McEnroe. -[upbeat music plays] -[in video] Point to Mr. McEnroe.
upbeat
music
plays
in
video
Point
to
Mr
McEnroe
[crowd cheering excitedly] [crowd cheering excitedly]
crowd
cheering
excitedly
[McEnroe] Wow, I look great there. [McEnroe] Wow, I look great there.
McEnroe
Wow
I
look
great
there
Now, you may be asking yourself:  Now, you may be asking yourself: 
Now
you
may
be
asking
yourself:
why is sports icon John McEnroe narrating this tale?  why is sports icon John McEnroe narrating this tale? 
why
is
sports
icon
John
McEnroe
narrating
this
tale
-Dammit! -It'll make sense later, I promise. -Dammit! -It'll make sense later, I promise.
Dammit
It'll
make
sense
later
I
promise
Her story starts when her parents, Nalini and Mohan, Her story starts when her parents, Nalini and Mohan,
Her
story
starts
when
her
parents Nalini
and
Mohan
moved to
to
X
the United States in
in
X
September 2001. moved to the United States in September 2001.
moved
to
the
United
States
in
September
2001
Not a super chill time to
to
X
be a brown person in
in
X
America. Not a super chill time to be a brown person in America.
Not
a
super
chill
time
to
be
a
brown
person
in
America
[shrieks] [shrieks]
shrieks
[door slams] [door slams]
door
slams
-[game chatter on
on
X
TV] -Yes! -[game chatter on TV] -Yes!
game
chatter
on
TV
Yes
[McEnroe] Devi worshipped her father. [McEnroe] Devi worshipped her father.
McEnroe
Devi
worshipped
her
father
And while he and her mother stayed true  to
to
X
their Indian roots... And while he and her mother stayed true  to their Indian roots...
And
while
he
and
her
mother
stayed
true 
to
their
Indian
roots
No, no, no, thank you. We are vegetarians. No, no, no, thank you. We are vegetarians.
No
no
no
thank
you
We
are
vegetarians
...Devi was all-American. ...Devi was all-American.
Devi
was
all-American
But shortly after
after
X
this barbecue, But shortly after this barbecue,
But
shortly
after
this
barbecue
things got complicated for
for
X
this little family. things got complicated for this little family.
things
got
complicated
for
this
little
family
At Devi's spring orchestra concert, At Devi's spring orchestra concert,
At
Devi's
spring
orchestra
concert
[coughing and wheezing] [coughing and wheezing]
coughing
and
wheezing
Mohan had a heart attack. Mohan had a heart attack.
Mohan
had
a
heart
attack
-[Nalini yells] Mohan! -[crowd gasps] -[Nalini yells] Mohan! -[crowd gasps]
Nalini
yells
Mohan
crowd
gasps
[Nalini] Somebody call 9-1-1! [Nalini] Somebody call 9-1-1!
Nalini
Somebody
call
9-1-1
[stammers] Somebody call an ambulance. An ambulance, please! [stammers] Somebody call an ambulance. An ambulance, please!
stammers
Somebody
call
an
ambulance
An
ambulance
please
-[crowd gasps] -[Nalini] Mohan! -[crowd gasps] -[Nalini] Mohan!
crowd
gasps
Nalini
Mohan
[McEnroe] He died. [McEnroe] He died.
McEnroe
He
died
-[somber music playing] -Devi was devastated, -[somber music playing] -Devi was devastated,
somber
music
playing
Devi
was
devastated
but
but
X
things were about
about
X
to
to
X
get even worse. but things were about to get even worse.
but
things
were
about
to
get
even
worse
A week later... A week later...
A
week
later
[blows loudly] [blows loudly]
blows
loudly
Devi's legs stopped working. Devi's legs stopped working.
Devi's
legs
stopped
working
[mumbling] [mumbling]
mumbling
[gasps] [gasps]
gasps
[blows loudly] [blows loudly]
blows
loudly
There was no medical reason why,  but
but
X
they were definitely not working. There was no medical reason why,  but they were definitely not working.
There
was
no
medical
reason
why 
but
they
were
definitely
not
working
And now, she was in
in
X
a wheelchair. And now, she was in a wheelchair.
And
now
she
was
in
a
wheelchair
Just because Devi is confined to
to
X
a wheelchair, Just because Devi is confined to a wheelchair,
Just
because
Devi
is
confined
to
a
wheelchair
does not make her any less human. does not make her any less human.
does
not
make
her
any
less
human
As far as
as
X
we know, it's not contagious. As far as we know, it's not contagious.
As
far
as
we
know
it's
not
contagious
[McEnroe] But she wouldn't have to
to
X
go through
through
X
it alone. [McEnroe] But she wouldn't have to go through it alone.
McEnroe
But
she
wouldn't
have
to
go
through
it
alone
Her two best friends took the situation in
in
X
stride. Her two best friends took the situation in stride.
Her
two
best
friends
took
the
situation
in
stride
Well, maybe not in stride, but
but
X
definitely in character. Well, maybe not in stride, but definitely in character.
Well
maybe
not
in
stride
but
definitely
in
character
One day, you will walk again. One day, you will walk again.
One
day
you
will
walk
again
If not, I will build you legs. If not, I will build you legs.
If
not
I
will
build
you
legs
This is Fabiola Torres,  captain of
of
X
the high school robotics team. This is Fabiola Torres,  captain of the high school robotics team.
This
is
Fabiola
Torres 
captain
of
the
high
school
robotics
team
And this is Eleanor Wong, president of
of
X
the drama club. And this is Eleanor Wong, president of the drama club.
And
this
is
Eleanor
Wong
president
of
the
drama
club
This is worse than
than
X
if it were happening to
to
X
me. This is worse than if it were happening to me.
This
is
worse
than
if
it
were
happening
to
me
In protest, I shan't use my legs either. In protest, I shan't use my legs either.
In
protest
I
shan't
use
my
legs
either
-[thuds to
to
X
floor] -Aside from
from
X
her friends, -[thuds to floor] -Aside from her friends,
thuds
to
floor
Aside
from
her
friends
there was only one other person who could raise her spirits... there was only one other person who could raise her spirits...
there
was
only
one
other
person
who
could
raise
her
spirits
and also her heart rate. and also her heart rate.
and
also
her
heart
rate
[music builds] [music builds]
music
builds
Paxton Hall-Yoshida, the hottest guy at
at
X
Sherman Oaks High. Paxton Hall-Yoshida, the hottest guy at Sherman Oaks High.
Paxton
Hall-Yoshida
the
hottest
guy
at
Sherman
Oaks
High
I know it's a little weird for
for
X
me to
to
X
be saying that, I know it's a little weird for me to be saying that,
I
know
it's
a
little
weird
for
me
to
be
saying
that
but
but
X
come on
on
X
, look at
at
X
this kid's jawline. but come on, look at this kid's jawline.
but
come
on
look
at
this
kid's
jawline
[music continues] [music continues]
music
continues
And as
as
X
it turned out, And as it turned out,
And
as
it
turned
out
three months after
after
X
Devi's paralysis set in
in
X
, three months after Devi's paralysis set in,
three
months
after
Devi's
paralysis
set
in
Paxton's chiseled face actually worked a miracle. Paxton's chiseled face actually worked a miracle.
Paxton's
chiseled
face
actually
worked
a
miracle
[male voice] Come on
on
X
, dude. Give me a turn. [male voice] Come on, dude. Give me a turn.
male
voice
Come
on
dude
Give
me
a
turn
[screams with
with
X
joy] [screams with joy]
screams
with
joy
Just like
like
X
that, she could walk again. Just like that, she could walk again.
Just
like
that
she
could
walk
again
So today, Devi returns to high school. So today, Devi returns to high school.
So
today
Devi
returns
to
high
school
Can she shed her old identity Can she shed her old identity
Can
she
shed
her
old
identity
as
as
X
the paralyzed Indian girl, as the paralyzed Indian girl,
as
the
paralyzed
Indian
girl
whose dad dropped dead at
at
X
a school function? whose dad dropped dead at a school function?
whose
dad
dropped
dead
at
a
school
function
It's not likely. It's not likely.
It's
not
likely
Those things are pretty unforgettable, Those things are pretty unforgettable,
Those
things
are
pretty
unforgettable
but
but
X
with
with
X
working legs comes a whole host of
of
X
new possibilities. but with working legs comes a whole host of new possibilities.
but
with
working
legs
comes
a
whole
host
of
new
possibilities
So go get 'em, Devi! So go get 'em, Devi!
So
go
get
'em
Devi
["Dancing On My Own" by Robyn playing] ["Dancing On My Own" by Robyn playing]
Dancing
On
My
Own
by
Robyn
playing
♪ Oh... ♪ ♪ Oh... ♪
Oh
[Nalini] Devi, are you still praying? Our gods have other stuff to
to
X
do, you know? [Nalini] Devi, are you still praying? Our gods have other stuff to do, you know?
Nalini
Devi
are
you
still
praying
Our
gods
have
other
stuff
to
do
you
know
I was about
about
X
to
to
X
ask for
for
X
good grades. I was about to ask for good grades.
I
was
about
to
ask
for
good
grades
Now, grab your textbooks. We need to
to
X
go. Now, grab your textbooks. We need to go.
Now
grab
your
textbooks
We
need
to
go
[Nalini gasps] Devi, [Nalini gasps] Devi,
Nalini
gasps
Devi
that textbook has been blessed. If it touches the ground, that textbook has been blessed. If it touches the ground,
that
textbook
has
been
blessed
If
it
touches
the
ground
I have to
to
X
take it back to
to
X
the priest. I have to take it back to the priest.
I
have
to
take
it
back
to
the
priest
I don't have the time to go to Rancho Cucamonga today. I don't have the time to go to Rancho Cucamonga today.
I
don't
have
the
time
to
go
to
Rancho
Cucamonga
today
It's fine. I caught it. It's fine. I caught it.
It's
fine
I
caught
it
[upbeat music playing] [upbeat music playing]
upbeat
music
playing
Oh, Devi! Oh, Devi!
Oh
Devi
I made you a lunch. I made you a lunch.
I
made
you
a
lunch
[McEnroe] That's Devi's cousin, Kamala. [McEnroe] That's Devi's cousin, Kamala.
McEnroe
That's
Devi's
cousin
Kamala
She moved in after
after
X
Mohan's passing to
to
X
complete her PhD at
at
X
CalTech. She moved in after Mohan's passing to complete her PhD at CalTech.
She
moved
in
after
Mohan's
passing
to
complete
her
PhD
at
CalTech
Devi is not a fan. Devi is not a fan.
Devi
is
not
a
fan
I don't bring lunch on Tuesdays. It's square pizza day. I don't bring lunch on Tuesdays. It's square pizza day.
I
don't
bring
lunch
on
Tuesdays
It's
square
pizza
day
Devi, don't be rude to
to
X
your beautiful cousin. Devi, don't be rude to your beautiful cousin.
Devi
don't
be
rude
to
your
beautiful
cousin
I'm not that beautiful. I'm not that beautiful.
I'm
not
that
beautiful
[loud crash] [loud crash]
loud
crash
Sorry. Are you a model? Sorry. Are you a model?
Sorry
Are
you
a
model
Oh, thank you so much. Oh, thank you so much.
Oh
thank
you
so
much
No. I'm a biologist. No. I'm a biologist.
No
I'm
a
biologist
I could never be a model. I'm too curvaceous. I could never be a model. I'm too curvaceous.
I
could
never
be
a
model
I'm
too
curvaceous
I know this sounds crazy, but
but
X
would you want to
to
X
get dinner? I know this sounds crazy, but would you want to get dinner?
I
know
this
sounds
crazy
but
would
you
want
to
get
dinner
Hey, buddy, keep it moving. Hey, buddy, keep it moving.
Hey
buddy
keep
it
moving
Take your broke-ass bike and get out of
of
X
here. Take your broke-ass bike and get out of here.
Take
your
broke-ass
bike
and
get
out
of
here
[Nalini] This can't keep happening. [Nalini] This can't keep happening.
Nalini
This
can't
keep
happening
Our recycling bins can't take much more of
of
X
this. Our recycling bins can't take much more of this.
Our
recycling
bins
can't
take
much
more
of
this
How long is Kamala gonna stay with
with
X
us? How long is Kamala gonna stay with us?
How
long
is
Kamala
gonna
stay
with
us
As long as
as
X
it takes for
for
X
her to
to
X
finish her studies. Why? As long as it takes for her to finish her studies. Why?
As
long
as
it
takes
for
her
to
finish
her
studies
Why
She's just so... Indian. She's just so... Indian.
She's
just
so
Indian
Like, the other day, Like, the other day,
Like
the
other
day
she said she was gonna open the TV instead of
of
X
turn on the TV. she said she was gonna open the TV instead of turn on the TV.
she
said
she
was
gonna
open
the
TV
instead
of
turn
on
the
TV
Devi, she's family. She's bettering her life. Devi, she's family. She's bettering her life.
Devi
she's
family
She's
bettering
her
life
You could actually learn a bit from
from
X
her. You could actually learn a bit from her.
You
could
actually
learn
a
bit
from
her
I bet she doesn't let her textbooks fall on
on
X
the floor. I bet she doesn't let her textbooks fall on the floor.
I
bet
she
doesn't
let
her
textbooks
fall
on
the
floor
[Devi] Oh, my God. It never touched the ground! [Devi] Oh, my God. It never touched the ground!
Devi
Oh
my
God
It
never
touched
the
ground
[gentle music playing] [gentle music playing]
gentle
music
playing
[McEnroe] As Devi walked into
into
X
school for
for
X
the first time, [McEnroe] As Devi walked into school for the first time,
McEnroe
As
Devi
walked
into
school
for
the
first
time
it was impossible not to
to
X
notice everybody staring at
at
X
her. it was impossible not to notice everybody staring at her.
it
was
impossible
not
to
notice
everybody
staring
at
her
But it didn't matter, because she had her squad. But it didn't matter, because she had her squad.
But
it
didn't
matter
because
she
had
her
squad
Have you seen the nurse's new haircut? I love it. Have you seen the nurse's new haircut? I love it.
Have
you
seen
the
nurse's
new
haircut
I
love
it
[Eleanor] No, I have to
to
X
check it out. [Eleanor] No, I have to check it out.
Eleanor
No
I
have
to
check
it
out
Guys, sophomore year is gonna be our year. I can feel it. Guys, sophomore year is gonna be our year. I can feel it.
Guys
sophomore
year
is
gonna
be
our
year
I
can
feel
it
Sophomore actually means "wise fool" in
in
X
Greek, Sophomore actually means "wise fool" in Greek,
Sophomore
actually
means
wise
fool
in
Greek
so it can really go either way. so it can really go either way.
so
it
can
really
go
either
way
Oh, my God. I just realized Oh, my God. I just realized
Oh
my
God
I
just
realized
that this is our last first day of
of
X
sophomore year we'll ever have. that this is our last first day of sophomore year we'll ever have.
that
this
is
our
last
first
day
of
sophomore
year
we'll
ever
have
-I'm gonna cry. -Right. -I'm gonna cry. -Right.
I'm
gonna
cry
Right
This reminds me of
of
X
a problem I want to
to
X
talk to
to
X
you guys about
about
X
. This reminds me of a problem I want to talk to you guys about.
This
reminds
me
of
a
problem
I
want
to
talk
to
you
guys
about
We're not cool. We're not cool.
We're
not
cool
Uh, would a not cool person wear... one dangly earring? Uh, would a not cool person wear... one dangly earring?
Uh
would
a
not
cool
person
wear
one
dangly
earring
Was that a choice, or did you lose your earring on
on
X
the bus? Was that a choice, or did you lose your earring on the bus?
Was
that
a
choice
or
did
you
lose
your
earring
on
the
bus
I didn't ride the bus. I rollerbladed. I didn't ride the bus. I rollerbladed.
I
didn't
ride
the
bus
I
rollerbladed
Who says we're not cool? Who says we're not cool?
Who
says
we're
not
cool
We're the only students who get to
to
X
eat in
in
X
the teachers' lounge. We're the only students who get to eat in the teachers' lounge.
We're
the
only
students
who
get
to
eat
in
the
teachers'
lounge
Yeah, we can't do that anymore. Yeah, we can't do that anymore.
Yeah
we
can't
do
that
anymore
We need to
to
X
eat with
with
X
kids our own age. We need to eat with kids our own age.
We
need
to
eat
with
kids
our
own
age
Guys, don't you want a better high-school experience? Guys, don't you want a better high-school experience?
Guys
don't
you
want
a
better
high-school
experience
I mean, last year was a freshmen shit-fest. I mean, last year was a freshmen shit-fest.
I
mean
last
year
was
a
freshmen
shit-fest
Are you saying that 'cause of
of
X
your mobility issue? Are you saying that 'cause of your mobility issue?
Are
you
saying
that
'cause
of
your
mobility
issue
What? No. Nobody even remembers that. What? No. Nobody even remembers that.
What
No
Nobody
even
remembers
that
'Sup, FDR? [laughs] 'Sup, FDR? [laughs]
'Sup
FDR
laughs
Well, nobody will remember that once we're cool. Well, nobody will remember that once we're cool.
Well
nobody
will
remember
that
once
we're
cool
Which brings me to
to
X
my plan. Which brings me to my plan.
Which
brings
me
to
my
plan
This year, we're rebranding. This year, we're rebranding.
This
year
we're
rebranding
We are glamorous women of
of
X
color, who deserve a sexy high school life. We are glamorous women of color, who deserve a sexy high school life.
We
are
glamorous
women
of
color
who
deserve
a
sexy
high
school
life
Fabiola, you are naturally snatched, Fabiola, you are naturally snatched,
Fabiola
you
are
naturally
snatched
but
but
X
you dress like
like
X
a helpful Honda guy. but you dress like a helpful Honda guy.
but
you
dress
like
a
helpful
Honda
guy
What are you talking about
about
X
? What are you talking about?
What
are
you
talking
about
The janitor said I reminded him of
of
X
his nephew. The janitor said I reminded him of his nephew.
The
janitor
said
I
reminded
him
of
his
nephew
Favorite nephew. Favorite nephew.
Favorite
nephew
Eleanor, could you chill out on your spontaneous show tune singing? Eleanor, could you chill out on your spontaneous show tune singing?
Eleanor
could
you
chill
out
on
your
spontaneous
show
tune
singing
♪ Not likely ♪ ♪ Not likely ♪
Not
likely
Well, if you refuse to
to
X
change your personalities, Well, if you refuse to change your personalities,
Well
if
you
refuse
to
change
your
personalities
I guess we'll just move onto
onto
X
step two, and get boyfriends. I guess we'll just move onto step two, and get boyfriends.
I
guess
we'll
just
move
onto
step
two
and
get
boyfriends
[both stammer] Boyfriends? [both stammer] Boyfriends?
both
stammer
Boyfriends
I have chosen attainable, yet status-enhancing people I have chosen attainable, yet status-enhancing people
I
have
chosen
attainable
yet
status-enhancing
people
for
for
X
each of
of
X
us to
to
X
date. for each of us to date.
for
each
of
us
to
date
Fabiola, you get Alex Gomez. Fabiola, you get Alex Gomez.
Fabiola
you
get
Alex
Gomez
-Ugh! -[laughs] Suck it, Gomez. -Ugh! -[laughs] Suck it, Gomez.
Ugh
laughs
Suck
it
Gomez
I can't go out with
with
X
Alex Gomez. He's like
like
X
a foot shorter than
than
X
me. I can't go out with Alex Gomez. He's like a foot shorter than me.
I
can't
go
out
with
Alex
Gomez
He's
like
a
foot
shorter
than
me
Yeah, but
but
X
he has a hot face. Yeah, but he has a hot face.
Yeah
but
he
has
a
hot
face
You'll be like
like
X
Zayn and Gigi. You'll be like Zayn and Gigi.
You'll
be
like
Zayn
and
Gigi
-Who are they? -Zayn and Gigi. -Who are they? -Zayn and Gigi.
Who
are
they
Zayn
and
Gigi
Are you out of
of
X
your goddamn mind? Forget it. Are you out of your goddamn mind? Forget it.
Are
you
out
of
your
goddamn
mind
Forget
it
Eleanor, you are gonna date Boris Kozlov. Eleanor, you are gonna date Boris Kozlov.
Eleanor
you
are
gonna
date
Boris
Kozlov
The Russian exchange student? The Russian exchange student?
The
Russian
exchange
student
[crunches] [crunches]
crunches
He's eating an onion. He's eating an onion.
He's
eating
an
onion
Yeah. He's international and sexy. Yeah. He's international and sexy.
Yeah
He's
international
and
sexy
You could write a play about
about
X
it. You could write a play about it.
You
could
write
a
play
about
it
Hmm, intriguing. Hmm, intriguing.
Hmm
intriguing
Who are you going for
for
X
? Who are you going for?
Who
are
you
going
for
Jonah Sharpe. Jonah Sharpe.
Jonah
Sharpe
Oh, my God, Tiffany. Where did you get that top? I'm gagged. Oh, my God, Tiffany. Where did you get that top? I'm gagged.
Oh
my
God
Tiffany
Where
did
you
get
that
top
I'm
gagged
Uh... Jonah Sharpe is gay. Uh... Jonah Sharpe is gay.
Uh
Jonah
Sharpe
is
gay
But technically, he's not out yet, and he's pretty popular, But technically, he's not out yet, and he's pretty popular,
But
technically
he's
not
out
yet
and
he's
pretty
popular
so I'll be his beard until
until
X
I can springboard off
off
X
of him so I'll be his beard until I can springboard off of him
so
I'll
be
his
beard
until
I
can
springboard
off
of
him
to
to
X
a straight boyfriend. to a straight boyfriend.
to
a
straight
boyfriend
You know you sound like
like
X
a sociopath, right? You know you sound like a sociopath, right?
You
know
you
sound
like
a
sociopath
right
Sociopaths get shit done, Fab. Sociopaths get shit done, Fab.
Sociopaths
get
shit
done
Fab
Now, go sit next to
to
X
your marks, and lock 'em down
down
X
. Now, go sit next to your marks, and lock 'em down.
Now
go
sit
next
to
your
marks
and
lock
'em
down
[nervously] Hi. [nervously] Hi.
nervously
Hi
[hesitantly] Hi. [hesitantly] Hi.
hesitantly
Hi
Hey, Jonah. You smell great today. Hey, Jonah. You smell great today.
Hey
Jonah
You
smell
great
today
Thank you. It's Forever by
by
X
Mariah Carey. Thank you. It's Forever by Mariah Carey.
Thank
you
It's
Forever
by
Mariah
Carey
Oh. Oh.
Oh
[McEnroe] This disgusted reaction belongs to
to
X
Ben Gross, Devi's nemesis. [McEnroe] This disgusted reaction belongs to Ben Gross, Devi's nemesis.
McEnroe
This
disgusted
reaction
belongs
to
Ben
Gross
Devi's
nemesis
Because Devi and her friends were an ethnically diverse group Because Devi and her friends were an ethnically diverse group
Because
Devi
and
her
friends
were
an
ethnically
diverse
group
of
of
X
academically-focused, um... of academically-focused, um...
of
academically-focused
um
I can't think of
of
X
a better word for
for
X
"dorks." I can't think of a better word for "dorks."
I
can't
think
of
a
better
word
for
dorks
The rest of
of
X
the school called them the gently racist nickname, the UN. The rest of the school called them the gently racist nickname, the UN.
The
rest
of
the
school
called
them
the
gently
racist
nickname
the
UN
It was widely known to
to
X
have been created by
by
X
Ben. It was widely known to have been created by Ben.
It
was
widely
known
to
have
been
created
by
Ben
Do you know when you can't use your legs for
for
X
no medical reason, Do you know when you can't use your legs for no medical reason,
Do
you
know
when
you
can't
use
your
legs
for
no
medical
reason
it's called psychosomatic? it's called psychosomatic?
it's
called
psychosomatic
Which, my dad says, means fake. Which, my dad says, means fake.
Which
my
dad
says
means
fake
Ben Gross's father, Howard, whom he idolized, Ben Gross's father, Howard, whom he idolized,
Ben
Gross's
father
Howard
whom
he
idolized
was a top entertainment attorney in Beverly Hills. was a top entertainment attorney in Beverly Hills.
was
a
top
entertainment
attorney
in
Beverly
Hills
This allowed Ben Gross to
to
X
dine out for
for
X
years This allowed Ben Gross to dine out for years
This
allowed
Ben
Gross
to
dine
out
for
years
on
on
X
the fact that Blake Griffin was at his Bar Mitzvah. on the fact that Blake Griffin was at his Bar Mitzvah.
on
the
fact
that
Blake
Griffin
was
at
his
Bar
Mitzvah
And he and Devi had been vying for
for
X
the number one spot in the class And he and Devi had been vying for the number one spot in the class
And
he
and
Devi
had
been
vying
for
the
number
one
spot
in
the
class
every year since
since
X
the first grade. every year since the first grade.
every
year
since
the
first
grade
You might call them the John McEnroe and Jimmy Connors You might call them the John McEnroe and Jimmy Connors
You
might
call
them
the
John
McEnroe
and
Jimmy
Connors
of
of
X
Sherman Oaks High School. of Sherman Oaks High School.
of
Sherman
Oaks
High
School
Not to
to
X
make this about
about
X
me. Not to make this about me.
Not
to
make
this
about
me
[school bell rings] [school bell rings]
school
bell
rings
Good morning, you young, brilliant minds. Good morning, you young, brilliant minds.
Good
morning
you
young
brilliant
minds
Welcome to Facing History... Welcome to Facing History...
Welcome
to
Facing
History
[smacks lips] and Ourselves. [smacks lips] and Ourselves.
smacks
lips
and
Ourselves
This is not gonna be your typical history class. This is not gonna be your typical history class.
This
is
not
gonna
be
your
typical
history
class
We are going to
to
X
be unpacking some very difficult subjects... We are going to be unpacking some very difficult subjects...
We
are
going
to
be
unpacking
some
very
difficult
subjects
like
like
X
, uh... slavery, like, uh... slavery,
like
uh
slavery
and the Holocaust. and the Holocaust.
and
the
Holocaust
Think of
of
X
this as
as
X
a ride on
on
X
a tour bus Think of this as a ride on a tour bus
Think
of
this
as
a
ride
on
a
tour
bus
through
through
X
some of
of
X
the darkest moments of
of
X
our history. through some of the darkest moments of our history.
through
some
of
the
darkest
moments
of
our
history
[McEnroe] Just then, the high school gods chose to
to
X
smile down
down
X
on
on
X
Devi. [McEnroe] Just then, the high school gods chose to smile down on Devi.
McEnroe
Just
then
the
high
school
gods
chose
to
smile
down
on
Devi
[music builds] [music builds]
music
builds
Thanks to Paxton's extreme apathy toward
toward
X
school, Thanks to Paxton's extreme apathy toward school,
Thanks
to
Paxton's
extreme
apathy
toward
school
he was forced to
to
X
retake this class, which he failed as a sophomore. he was forced to retake this class, which he failed as a sophomore.
he
was
forced
to
retake
this
class
which
he
failed
as
a
sophomore
Maybe this year was looking up
up
X
after
after
X
all. Maybe this year was looking up after all.
Maybe
this
year
was
looking
up
after
all
Damn. Damn.
Damn
[music stops] [music stops]
music
stops
"Damn" is right, Devi. This is some really heavy stuff. "Damn" is right, Devi. This is some really heavy stuff.
Damn
is
right
Devi
This
is
some
really
heavy
stuff
Genocide is not 100. Genocide is not 100.
Genocide
is
not
100
And systemic racism is not litty. And systemic racism is not litty.
And
systemic
racism
is
not
litty
As we travel through
through
X
all of
of
X
humanity's most horrific atrocities, As we travel through all of humanity's most horrific atrocities,
As
we
travel
through
all
of
humanity's
most
horrific
atrocities
I want you to
to
X
feel shooketh. I want you to feel shooketh.
I
want
you
to
feel shooketh
[teacher] Thank you. [teacher] Thank you.
teacher
Thank
you
Trust. Trust.
Trust
[trash can thuds] [trash can thuds]
trash
can
thuds
[school bell rings] [school bell rings]
school
bell
rings
But even though she told her friends that Jonah was the one she was after
after
X
, But even though she told her friends that Jonah was the one she was after,
But
even
though
she
told
her
friends
that
Jonah
was
the
one
she
was
after
Paxton Hall-Yoshida just seemed so much more, Paxton Hall-Yoshida just seemed so much more,
Paxton
Hall-Yoshida
just
seemed
so
much
more
I don't know... hot? I don't know... hot?
I
don't
know
hot
[upbeat music playing] [upbeat music playing]
upbeat
music
playing
[teacher] Devi, Ben. Can you come back in
in
X
here, please? [teacher] Devi, Ben. Can you come back in here, please?
teacher
Devi
Ben
Can
you
come
back
in
here
please
I am honored to
to
X
have powerful voices in
in
X
my class, I am honored to have powerful voices in my class,
I
am
honored
to
have
powerful
voices
in
my
class
but
but
X
in
in
X
the past
past
X
, the competition between
between
X
the two of
of
X
you but in the past, the competition between the two of you
but
in
the
past
the
competition
between
the
two
of
you
has not been... useful to
to
X
the learning environment of
of
X
others. has not been... useful to the learning environment of others.
has
not
been
useful
to
the
learning
environment
of
others
[McEnroe] Devi has, what you might consider, a short fuse, [McEnroe] Devi has, what you might consider, a short fuse,
McEnroe
Devi
has
what
you
might
consider
a
short
fuse
and sometimes, she's a straight up
up
X
psycho, and sometimes, she's a straight up psycho,
and
sometimes
she's
a
straight
up
psycho
which I find pretty admirable. which I find pretty admirable.
which
I
find
pretty
admirable
-[screams] -[shatters] -[screams] -[shatters]
screams
shatters
[class gasps] [class gasps]
class
gasps
So do you think you can set aside your rivalry So do you think you can set aside your rivalry
So
do
you
think
you
can
set
aside
your
rivalry
for
for
X
the good of
of
X
the class? for the good of the class?
for
the
good
of
the
class
Well, of
of
X
course, Mister Shapiro. Well, of course, Mister Shapiro.
Well
of
course
Mister
Shapiro
A great idea, as
as
X
always. A great idea, as always.
A
great
idea
as
always
I agree. In fact, I liked your idea even more than
than
X
he did. [chuckles] I agree. In fact, I liked your idea even more than he did. [chuckles]
I
agree
In
fact
I
liked
your
idea
even
more
than
he
did
chuckles
[pleasant music playing] [pleasant music playing]
pleasant
music
playing
Okay. Okay.
Okay
Man, David, watching you flirt with
with
X
Jonah Man, David, watching you flirt with Jonah
Man
David
watching
you
flirt
with
Jonah
was just about
about
X
the saddest thing I've ever seen, was just about the saddest thing I've ever seen,
was
just
about
the
saddest
thing
I've
ever
seen
and I saw my dad run over
over
X
our cat. and I saw my dad run over our cat.
and
I
saw
my
dad
run
over
our
cat
You know he's gay, right? You know he's gay, right?
You
know
he's
gay
right
Your cat? No, I didn't. Your cat? No, I didn't.
Your
cat
No
I
didn't
[sarcastically] That's so cool. [sarcastically] That's so cool.
sarcastically
That's
so
cool
Word of
of
X
advice: just give up
up
X
. Word of advice: just give up.
Word
of
advice:
just
give
up
Plenty of
of
X
amazing people have died as
as
X
virgins. Plenty of amazing people have died as virgins.
Plenty
of
amazing
people
have
died
as
virgins
You and the rest of
of
X
the UN are in
in
X
good company. You and the rest of the UN are in good company.
You
and
the
rest
of
the
UN
are
in
good
company
You know? You shouldn't call us the UN. You know? You shouldn't call us the UN.
You
know
You
shouldn't
call
us
the
UN
-It's racist, and offensive, and-- -What? -It's racist, and offensive, and-- -What?
It's
racist
and
offensive
and-
What
Oh, like
like
X
the United Nations? Oh, like the United Nations?
Oh
like
the
United
Nations
No. We call you the UN, because you are unfuckable nerds. No. We call you the UN, because you are unfuckable nerds.
No
We
call
you
the
UN
because
you
are
unfuckable
nerds
[gasps] [gasps]
gasps
[chuckles] [chuckles]
chuckles
-[intense music playing] -[sighs] -[intense music playing] -[sighs]
intense
music
playing
sighs
Can you believe he said that? Can you believe he said that?
Can
you
believe
he
said
that
What do you think, Doctor Ryan? Do you agree with
with
X
him? What do you think, Doctor Ryan? Do you agree with him?
What
do
you
think
Doctor
Ryan
Do
you
agree
with
him
[McEnroe] This is Doctor Jamie Ryan, a child psychologist [McEnroe] This is Doctor Jamie Ryan, a child psychologist
McEnroe
This
is
Doctor
Jamie
Ryan
a
child
psychologist
from
from
X
Toluca Lake, California. from Toluca Lake, California.
from
Toluca
Lake
California
She's Devi's therapist, She's Devi's therapist,
She's
Devi's
therapist
and this morning, the woman Devi is shouting at
at
X
. and this morning, the woman Devi is shouting at.
and
this
morning
the
woman
Devi
is
shouting
at
Wait, you're asking me to
to
X
tell you if I think you're bangable? Wait, you're asking me to tell you if I think you're bangable?
Wait
you're
asking
me
to
tell
you
if
I
think
you're
bangable
-Yeah. -Devi, I can't do that. -Yeah. -Devi, I can't do that.
Yeah
Devi
I
can't
do
that
Ethically, legally, and most importantly, it's creepy. Ethically, legally, and most importantly, it's creepy.
Ethically
legally
and
most
importantly
it's
creepy
So you agree with
with
X
Ben Gross and the whole school So you agree with Ben Gross and the whole school
So
you
agree
with
Ben
Gross
and
the
whole
school
and think I'm a disgusting troll? and think I'm a disgusting troll?
and
think
I'm
a
disgusting
troll
Hey, I am not going to
to
X
tell you I think you're sexy. Hey, I am not going to tell you I think you're sexy.
Hey
I
am
not
going
to
tell
you
I
think
you're
sexy
I will tell you that kid sucks, and you should ignore him. I will tell you that kid sucks, and you should ignore him.
I
will
tell
you
that
kid
sucks
and
you
should
ignore
him
Doctor Ryan, you know how much trouble I have taking the high road. Doctor Ryan, you know how much trouble I have taking the high road.
Doctor
Ryan
you
know
how
much
trouble
I
have taking
the
high
road
I do. Why don't you sit down
down
X
? I do. Why don't you sit down?
I
do
Why
don't
you
sit
down
So, you're back up
up
X
on
on
X
your feet. So, you're back up on your feet.
So
you're
back
up
on
your
feet
That's gotta feel good. That's gotta feel good.
That's
gotta
feel
good
Yeah. That part was good. Yeah. That part was good.
Yeah
That
part
was
good
It was so nice not to
to
X
be in
in
X
a wheelchair, It was so nice not to be in a wheelchair,
It
was
so
nice
not
to
be
in
a
wheelchair
but
but
X
people were still staring at
at
X
me. but people were still staring at me.
but
people
were
still
staring
at
me
They all think I was faking being paralyzed. They all think I was faking being paralyzed.
They
all
think
I
was
faking
being
paralyzed
Why would I fake that? Why would I fake that?
Why
would
I
fake
that
Because it's such a cool look Because it's such a cool look
Because
it's
such
a
cool
look
to have your cousin help you onto
onto
X
the toilet? to have your cousin help you onto the toilet?
to
have
your
cousin
help
you
onto
the
toilet
Listen, I think I've got something that could really help you. Listen, I think I've got something that could really help you.
Listen
I
think
I've
got
something
that
could
really
help
you
Paxil, Lexapro, Xanax, Zoloft? I'll try anything. Paxil, Lexapro, Xanax, Zoloft? I'll try anything.
Paxil
Lexapro
Xanax
Zoloft
I'll
try
anything
Whoa! Knock it off
off
X
, wannabe pill popper. Whoa! Knock it off, wannabe pill popper.
Whoa
Knock
it
off
wannabe
pill
popper
It's a grief journal. It's a grief journal.
It's
a
grief
journal
Sometimes, the pain we feel is too hard to say out loud. Sometimes, the pain we feel is too hard to say out loud.
Sometimes
the
pain
we
feel
is
too
hard
to
say
out
loud
This way, you don't actually have to
to
X
say it. This way, you don't actually have to say it.
This
way
you
don't
actually
have
to
say
it
And if this doesn't work, you can always prescribe me some Klonopin. And if this doesn't work, you can always prescribe me some Klonopin.
And
if
this
doesn't
work
you
can
always
prescribe
me
some
Klonopin
Girl, bye. Girl, bye.
Girl
bye
[upbeat music playing] [upbeat music playing]
upbeat
music
playing
Devi, how was your first day at
at
X
school? Devi, how was your first day at school?
Devi
how
was
your
first
day
at
school
I'll be honest. It was mixed. I'll be honest. It was mixed.
I'll
be
honest
It
was
mixed
I got all the classes I wanted. I got all the classes I wanted.
I
got
all
the
classes
I
wanted
Prime locker location. Ben Gross is still a dick. Prime locker location. Ben Gross is still a dick.
Prime
locker
location
Ben
Gross
is
still
a
dick
Are we allowed to
to
X
say "dick" now? Are we allowed to say "dick" now?
Are
we
allowed
to
say
dick
now
No one can say "dick" in
in
X
this house. No one can say "dick" in this house.
No
one
can
say
dick
in
this
house
Why do let that Ben Gross rile you up
up
X
so much? He's like
like
X
5'2". Why do let that Ben Gross rile you up so much? He's like 5'2".
Why
do
let
that
Ben
Gross
rile
you
up
so
much
He's
like
5'2
Damn, Mom! That was savage. Up top. Damn, Mom! That was savage. Up top.
Damn
Mom
That
was
savage
Up
top
Ah, okay. I do not like
like
X
high-fiving. It's violent. Ah, okay. I do not like high-fiving. It's violent.
Ah
okay
I
do
not
like
high-fiving
It's
violent
Can we please not do that again? Can we please not do that again?
Can
we
please
not
do
that
again
On a more civilized note, On a more civilized note,
On
a
more
civilized
note
I received some very exciting information today. I received some very exciting information today.
I
received
some
very
exciting
information
today
Kamala, your parents have found you a match... Kamala, your parents have found you a match...
Kamala
your
parents
have
found
you
a
match
for
for
X
marriage. for marriage.
for
marriage
They did? They did?
They
did
Yes! His name is Prashant. He's an engineer. Yes! His name is Prashant. He's an engineer.
Yes
His
name
is
Prashant
He's
an
engineer
Isn't that fantastic? Isn't that fantastic?
Isn't
that
fantastic
[McEnroe] Kamala was expected to
to
X
have an arranged marriage [McEnroe] Kamala was expected to have an arranged marriage
McEnroe
Kamala
was
expected
to
have
an
arranged
marriage
after
after
X
she finished her studies abroad, after she finished her studies abroad,
after
she
finished
her
studies
abroad
but
but
X
she felt less than
than
X
enthusiastic about
about
X
this idea. but she felt less than enthusiastic about this idea.
but
she
felt
less
than
enthusiastic
about
this
idea
Oh, that's so wonderful. Oh, that's so wonderful.
Oh
that's
so
wonderful
A husband from
from
X
India? Someone I've never met before
before
X
. A husband from India? Someone I've never met before.
A
husband
from
India
Someone
I've
never
met
before
[sarcastically] Perfect stranger. How exciting. [sarcastically] Perfect stranger. How exciting.
sarcastically
Perfect
stranger
How
exciting
I know! I know!
I
know
Finally, some good news for
for
X
this family. Finally, some good news for this family.
Finally
some
good
news
for
this
family
Yeah. That's frigging great. Yeah. That's frigging great.
Yeah
That's
frigging
great
Kamala does nothing and gets a full husband in the mail. Kamala does nothing and gets a full husband in the mail.
Kamala
does
nothing
and
gets
a
full
husband
in
the
mail
Meanwhile, I'm trying to trick a gay guy into
into
X
going to Johnny Rockets with
with
X
me. Meanwhile, I'm trying to trick a gay guy into going to Johnny Rockets with me.
Meanwhile
I'm
trying
to
trick
a
gay
guy
into
going
to
Johnny
Rockets
with
me
You know what? I'm just too jealous to eat with
with
X
you right now. You know what? I'm just too jealous to eat with you right now.
You
know
what
I'm
just
too
jealous
to
eat
with
you
right
now
Devi... Devi...
Devi
[male voice] Devi. [male voice] Devi.
male
voice
Devi
[angelic music playing] [angelic music playing]
angelic
music
playing
-[male voice] Devi, come here. -[clapping in background] -[male voice] Devi, come here. -[clapping in background]
male
voice
Devi
come
here
clapping
in
background
[music continues] [music continues]
music
continues
-Dad? -Come, come. Sit down
down
X
. -Dad? -Come, come. Sit down.
Dad
Come
come
Sit
down
I want to
to
X
show you something. I want to show you something.
I
want
to
show
you
something
This is John McEnroe. This is John McEnroe.
This
is
John
McEnroe
He is my favorite player of
of
X
all time. He is my favorite player of all time.
He
is
my
favorite
player
of
all
time
[McEnroe] Hey, look at that! It's me. [McEnroe] Hey, look at that! It's me.
McEnroe
Hey
look
at
that
It's
me
I told you it would all make sense. I told you it would all make sense.
I
told
you
it
would
all
make
sense
He doesn't let anyone push him around
around
X
. He doesn't let anyone push him around.
He
doesn't
let
anyone
push
him
around
Look at him, giving it back to
to
X
that umpire. Look at him, giving it back to that umpire.
Look
at
him
giving
it
back
to
that
umpire
He's a firecracker... just like
like
X
you. He's a firecracker... just like you.
He's
a
firecracker
just
like
you
[sniffles] [sniffles]
sniffles
Kanna, what is it? Kanna, what is it?
Kanna
what
is
it
Dad, am I ugly? Dad, am I ugly?
Dad
am
I
ugly
What nonsense. I'm looking at you right now. What nonsense. I'm looking at you right now.
What
nonsense
I'm
looking
at
you
right
now
You're the most beautiful girl in
in
X
the world. You're the most beautiful girl in the world.
You're
the
most
beautiful
girl
in
the
world
No. Kamala is beautiful, No. Kamala is beautiful,
No
Kamala
is
beautiful
and a boy at school said that I was an un-- and a boy at school said that I was an un--
and
a
boy
at
school
said
that
I
was
an
un-
He said something mean to
to
X
me. He said something mean to me.
He
said
something
mean
to
me
This boy is clearly an idiot, like
like
X
this umpire. This boy is clearly an idiot, like this umpire.
This
boy
is
clearly
an
idiot
like
this
umpire
Do you think John McEnroe would let that umpire tell him Do you think John McEnroe would let that umpire tell him
Do
you
think
John
McEnroe
would
let
that
umpire
tell
him
that he's not beautiful? that he's not beautiful?
that
he's
not
beautiful
No. He would stand up
up
X
for
for
X
himself. No. He would stand up for himself.
No
He
would
stand
up
for
himself
So I should beat up
up
X
Ben Gross? So I should beat up Ben Gross?
So
I
should
beat
up
Ben
Gross
What? No, no, no. What? No, no, no.
What
No
no
no
You fight back with
with
X
your spirit, little one. You fight back with your spirit, little one.
You
fight
back
with
your
spirit
little
one
You stand up
up
X
for
for
X
yourself, just like
like
X
him. You stand up for yourself, just like him.
You
stand
up
for
yourself
just
like
him
[ over
over
X
TV] Answer my question! The question, jerk! [over TV] Answer my question! The question, jerk!
over
TV
Answer
my
question
The
question
jerk
Thanks, Dad. I'll try. Thanks, Dad. I'll try.
Thanks
Dad
I'll
try
Wait. What are you doing here? Wait. What are you doing here?
Wait
What
are
you
doing
here
This is my living room. This is my living room.
This
is
my
living
room
[stammers] No, I mean, you died. [stammers] No, I mean, you died.
stammers
No
I
mean
you
died
Oh, that? I'm better now. Oh, that? I'm better now.
Oh
that
I'm
better
now
[crowd cheering on
on
X
TV] [crowd cheering on TV]
crowd
cheering
on
TV
[gasps] [gasps]
gasps
[book thuds onto
onto
X
floor] [book thuds onto floor]
book
thuds
onto
floor
[McEnroe] So the next morning, Devi took her dad's advice [McEnroe] So the next morning, Devi took her dad's advice
McEnroe
So
the
next
morning
Devi
took
her
dad's
advice
and decided to
to
X
fight back with
with
X
her spirit, AKA she would be serving a damn lewk. and decided to fight back with her spirit, AKA she would be serving a damn lewk.
and
decided
to
fight
back
with
her
spirit
AKA
she
would
be
serving
a
damn
lewk
Ben Gross better get ready to
to
X
eat his words. Ben Gross better get ready to eat his words.
Ben
Gross
better
get
ready
to
eat
his
words
[dramatic upbeat music playing] [dramatic upbeat music playing]
dramatic
upbeat
music
playing
Woah, Devi, you look like
like
X
an Indian Kardashian. Woah, Devi, you look like an Indian Kardashian.
Woah
Devi
you
look
like
an
Indian
Kardashian
Thanks, Fab, but
but
X
I thought we were dressing hot today. Thanks, Fab, but I thought we were dressing hot today.
Thanks
Fab
but
I
thought
we
were
dressing
hot
today
This is my boys' medium polo instead of
of
X
my usual large. This is my boys' medium polo instead of my usual large.
This
is
my
boys'
medium
polo
instead
of
my
usual
large
-The janitor said-- -No. Just, no. -The janitor said-- -No. Just, no.
The
janitor
said-
No
Just
no
-Stop. -[Eleanor] Well, I know I did a good job. -Stop. -[Eleanor] Well, I know I did a good job.
Stop
Eleanor
Well
I
know
I
did
a
good
job
Get a load of
of
X
sexy flapper girl. Get a load of sexy flapper girl.
Get
a
load
of
sexy
flapper
girl
[dramatically] My grandmother died in
in
X
this dress. [dramatically] My grandmother died in this dress.
dramatically
My
grandmother
died
in
this
dress
Okay. Let's just stick to
to
X
the plan. Okay. Let's just stick to the plan.
Okay
Let's
just
stick
to
the
plan
What's our goal for
for
X
today? What's our goal for today?
What's
our
goal
for
today
-[both] To make conversation. -Right. -[both] To make conversation. -Right.
both
To
make
conversation
Right
We're talking to
to
X
the boys. We're talking to the boys.
We're
talking
to
the
boys
I'm gonna ask Jonah to
to
X
come over
over
X
and watch unreleased Ariana Grande footage. I'm gonna ask Jonah to come over and watch unreleased Ariana Grande footage.
I'm
gonna
ask
Jonah
to
come
over
and
watch
unreleased
Ariana
Grande
footage
Before you know it, we'll all be boinking at
at
X
prom. Okay. Before you know it, we'll all be boinking at prom. Okay.
Before
you
know
it
we'll
all
be
boinking
at
prom
Okay
Boyfriend, here I co-- Boyfriend, here I co--
Boyfriend
here
I
co-
[thuds into
into
X
floor] [thuds into floor]
thuds
into
floor
[school bell rings] [school bell rings]
school
bell
rings
[nervously] Hey, Jonah. [nervously] Hey, Jonah.
nervously
Hey
Jonah
Ew, you're bleeding. Ew, you're bleeding.
Ew
you're
bleeding
You're getting knee blood on
on
X
the chair. It's unsanitary. You're getting knee blood on the chair. It's unsanitary.
You're
getting
knee
blood
on
the
chair
It's
unsanitary
You could have AIDS. You could have AIDS.
You
could
have
AIDS
I thought no one would bang me. How could I have AIDS? I thought no one would bang me. How could I have AIDS?
I
thought
no
one
would
bang
me
How
could
I
have
AIDS
Easy. Blood transfusion. Easy. Blood transfusion.
Easy
Blood
transfusion
Or sharing needles. Or sharing needles.
Or
sharing
needles
[scoffs] You wish you were cool enough for
for
X
intravenous drugs. [scoffs] You wish you were cool enough for intravenous drugs.
scoffs
You
wish
you
were
cool
enough
for
intravenous
drugs
Oh. Drugs are, like
like
X
, cool now?  I didn't realize Oh. Drugs are, like, cool now?  I didn't realize
Oh
Drugs
are
like
cool
now 
I
didn't
realize
you were a hillbilly tweaker. I guess you're skinny enough. you were a hillbilly tweaker. I guess you're skinny enough.
you
were
a
hillbilly
tweaker
I
guess
you're
skinny
enough
Uh, I'm not skinny. I'm jacked. Uh, I'm not skinny. I'm jacked.
Uh
I'm
not
skinny
I'm
jacked
Hmph, for
for
X
now, until
until
X
you morph into
into
X
your big fat dad. Hmph, for now, until you morph into your big fat dad.
Hmph
for
now
until
you
morph
into
your
big
fat
dad
Shut up
up
X
. My dad's hot. Shut up. My dad's hot.
Shut
up
My
dad's
hot
You've no idea what he's been through
through
X
. He has thyroid issues. You've no idea what he's been through. He has thyroid issues.
You've
no
idea
what
he's
been
through
He
has
thyroid
issues
Enough! We talked about
about
X
this yesterday. Enough! We talked about this yesterday.
Enough
We
talked
about
this
yesterday
How can we mend the conflict of
of
X
our past
past
X
when the conflict of
of
X
our present rages on? How can we mend the conflict of our past when the conflict of our present rages on?
How
can
we
mend
the
conflict
of
our
past
when
the
conflict
of
our
present
rages
on
-Boo. -That doesn't mean anything. -Boo. -That doesn't mean anything.
Boo
That
doesn't
mean
anything
Those responses were very hurtful. Those responses were very hurtful.
Those
responses
were
very
hurtful
Go to
to
X
the principal's office. Go to the principal's office.
Go
to
the
principal's
office
[both scoff] [both scoff]
both
scoff
[principal] Look who it is. Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Idiot. [principal] Look who it is. Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle Idiot.
principal
Look
who
it
is
Tweedle
Dumb
and
Tweedle
Idiot
You will both report here after
after
X
school to
to
X
do some unpaid labor in
in
X
the office. You will both report here after school to do some unpaid labor in the office.
You
will
both
report
here
after
school
to
do
some
unpaid
labor
in
the
office
[both] Like an internship? [both] Like an internship?
both
Like
an
internship
No. Like a punishment. No. Like a punishment.
No
Like
a
punishment
You're in
in
X
trouble! You're in trouble!
You're
in
trouble
I can't. I can't.
I
can't
I'm supposed to
to
X
go cheer on
on
X
my girlfriend's field hockey practice. I'm supposed to go cheer on my girlfriend's field hockey practice.
I'm
supposed
to
go
cheer
on
my
girlfriend's
field
hockey
practice
You know, I support women. You know, I support women.
You
know
I
support
women
Is that why, Mister Feminist? Is that why, Mister Feminist?
Is
that
why
Mister
Feminist
Or is it to
to
X
watch a bunch of
of
X
teenage boobs bounce around
around
X
? Or is it to watch a bunch of teenage boobs bounce around?
Or
is
it
to
watch
a
bunch
of
teenage
boobs
bounce
around
[Devi chuckles] [Devi chuckles]
Devi
chuckles
Field hockey is a beautiful sport. Field hockey is a beautiful sport.
Field
hockey
is
a
beautiful
sport
Busted. You're a perv. Busted. You're a perv.
Busted
You're
a
perv
And what are you laughing at, Erin Brockovich? And what are you laughing at, Erin Brockovich?
And
what
are
you
laughing
at
Erin
Brockovich
Is that a skirt or a headband? Is that a skirt or a headband?
Is
that
a
skirt
or
a
headband
You know, get your acts together, You know, get your acts together,
You
know
get
your
acts
together
or I will personally call all the Ivys and tell them not to
to
X
admit you. or I will personally call all the Ivys and tell them not to admit you.
or
I
will
personally
call
all
the
Ivys
and
tell
them
not
to
admit
you
Get ready to
to
X
get your online degree at
at
X
StDoofusUniversity.com. Get ready to get your online degree at StDoofusUniversity.com.
Get
ready
to
get
your
online
degree
at
StDoofusUniversitycom
You're dismissed. You're dismissed.
You're
dismissed
["So Strange" by
by
X
Superhumanoids playing] ["So Strange" by Superhumanoids playing]
So
Strange
by
Superhumanoids
playing
Your stupid heels are slowing us down
down
X
. Take them off
off
X
. Your stupid heels are slowing us down. Take them off.
Your
stupid
heels
are
slowing
us
down
Take
them
off
Yeah, I'm sure you'd like
like
X
to
to
X
see my bare feet, sicko. Yeah, I'm sure you'd like to see my bare feet, sicko.
Yeah
I'm
sure
you'd
like
to
see
my
bare
feet
sicko
Foot fetish much? Foot fetish much?
Foot
fetish
much
♪ Always I ♪ ♪ Always I ♪
Always
I
♪ Drive so ♪ ♪ Drive so ♪
Drive
so
♪ To see ♪ ♪ To see ♪
To
see
♪ You ♪ ♪ You ♪
You
Oh, my God! Oliver Martinez? Oh, my God! Oliver Martinez?
Oh
my
God
Oliver
Martinez
Stop molesting my friend! Stop molesting my friend!
Stop
molesting
my
friend
He's not molesting me. He's caressing me. He's not molesting me. He's caressing me.
He's
not
molesting
me
He's
caressing
me
He's my boyfriend. He's my boyfriend.
He's
my
boyfriend
Wait. You have a boyfriend? Wait. You have a boyfriend?
Wait
You
have
a
boyfriend
We had to
to
X
keep it a secret. We had to keep it a secret.
We
had
to
keep
it
a
secret
I mean, can you imagine the shock waves it would send through
through
X
drama club? I mean, can you imagine the shock waves it would send through drama club?
I
mean
can
you
imagine
the
shock
waves
it
would
send
through
drama
club
An actress dating tech crew? An actress dating tech crew?
An
actress
dating
tech
crew
[mimics bomb exploding] [mimics bomb exploding]
mimics
bomb
exploding
I just... I didn't want to
to
X
upstage you I just... I didn't want to upstage you
I
just
I
didn't
want
to
upstage
you
while you were trying to
to
X
get a boyfriend of
of
X
your own. while you were trying to get a boyfriend of your own.
while
you
were
trying
to
get
a
boyfriend
of
your
own
I can't believe you didn't tell me and Fabiola. I can't believe you didn't tell me and Fabiola.
I
can't
believe
you
didn't
tell
me
and
Fabiola
[nervously] Fabiola knows. [nervously] Fabiola knows.
nervously
Fabiola
knows
-[gasps] -[Ben] Wow. -[gasps] -[Ben] Wow.
gasps
Ben
Wow
I guess I was wrong when I said no one would date anyone in
in
X
the UN. I guess I was wrong when I said no one would date anyone in the UN.
I
guess
I
was
wrong
when
I
said
no
one
would
date
anyone
in
the
UN
They just won't date you. They just won't date you.
They
just
won't
date
you
-Shut up
up
X
, Ben! -Ow. -Shut up, Ben! -Ow.
Shut
up
Ben
Ow
I'm sorry. I just didn't know I'm sorry. I just didn't know
I'm
sorry
I
just
didn't
know
how you would react  with
with
X
your legs and everything. how you would react  with your legs and everything.
how
you
would
react 
with
your
legs
and
everything
I didn't want to
to
X
upset you. I didn't want to upset you.
I
didn't
want
to
upset
you
Me? Upset? Me? Upset?
Me
Upset
No. You should be upset for
for
X
your weird taste in
in
X
men. No. You should be upset for your weird taste in men.
No
You
should
be
upset
for
your
weird
taste
in
men
[sarcastically] Me? I'm cool. Cool as ice. [sarcastically] Me? I'm cool. Cool as ice.
sarcastically
Me
I'm
cool
Cool
as
ice
Peace. Peace.
Peace
[Devi screams hysterically] [Devi screams hysterically]
Devi
screams
hysterically
You guys saw her hit me, right? You know, my dad's a lawyer. You guys saw her hit me, right? You know, my dad's a lawyer.
You
guys
saw
her
hit
me
right
You
know
my
dad's
a
lawyer
[sighs] [sighs]
sighs
[McEnroe] When you're a normal person [McEnroe] When you're a normal person
McEnroe
When
you're
a
normal
person
with
with
X
genuinely balanced reactions to
to
X
things, with genuinely balanced reactions to things,
with
genuinely
balanced
reactions
to
things
it may be hard to
to
X
understand why we hotheads fly off
off
X
the handle. it may be hard to understand why we hotheads fly off the handle.
it
may
be
hard
to
understand
why
we
hotheads
fly
off
the
handle
For me, it's a reasonable reaction For me, it's a reasonable reaction
For
me
it's
a
reasonable
reaction
to
to
X
the general blindness of
of
X
most tennis umpires. to the general blindness of most tennis umpires.
to
the
general
blindness
of
most
tennis
umpires
For Devi, it's a logical response For Devi, it's a logical response
For
Devi
it's
a
logical
response
to
to
X
being betrayed by
by
X
her supposed best friends. to being betrayed by her supposed best friends.
to
being
betrayed
by
her
supposed
best
friends
How could Eleanor have a boyfriend and not tell her about
about
X
it? How could Eleanor have a boyfriend and not tell her about it?
How
could
Eleanor
have
a
boyfriend
and
not
tell
her
about
it
And why would she tell Fabiola? And why would she tell Fabiola?
And
why
would
she
tell
Fabiola
Does she think Devi's too unhinged to handle it? Does she think Devi's too unhinged to handle it?
Does
she
think
Devi's
too
unhinged
to
handle
it
Or that Devi would be jealous of
of
X
her? Or that Devi would be jealous of her?
Or
that
Devi
would
be
jealous
of
her
Do both of
of
X
her friends think Do both of her friends think
Do
both
of
her
friends
think
she's just a pitiful, lonely, wheelchair girl without
without
X
a freaking dad? she's just a pitiful, lonely, wheelchair girl without a freaking dad?
she's
just
a
pitiful
lonely
wheelchair
girl
without
a
freaking
dad
-What the hell? -[Devi screams] -What the hell? -[Devi screams]
What
the
hell
Devi
screams
[book thuds] [book thuds]
book
thuds
And that's how it happens, folks. And that's how it happens, folks.
And
that's
how
it
happens
folks
That's how we hotheads boil over
over
X
. That's how we hotheads boil over.
That's
how
we
hotheads
boil
over
What was that? What happened to
to
X
the window? What was that? What happened to the window?
What
was
that
What
happened
to
the
window
[stammers] A bird hit it. [stammers] A bird hit it.
stammers
A
bird
hit
it
Bird? Bird?
Bird
This is my fault for
for
X
keeping the windows so clean. This is my fault for keeping the windows so clean.
This
is
my
fault
for
keeping
the
windows
so
clean
Where is the poor bird? Where is the poor bird?
Where
is
the
poor
bird
It flew away. It flew away.
It
flew
away
[Nalini] It flew away? [Nalini] It flew away?
Nalini
It
flew
away
After breaking the window with
with
X
its body? After breaking the window with its body?
After
breaking
the
window
with
its
body
[Nalini gasps] [Nalini gasps]
Nalini
gasps
Devi, that book was blessed by
by
X
God! Devi, that book was blessed by God!
Devi
that
book
was
blessed
by
God
The bird must have done it. The bird must have done it.
The
bird
must
have
done
it
[angrily] Devi, you are lying to
to
X
your mother, [angrily] Devi, you are lying to your mother,
angrily
Devi
you
are
lying
to
your
mother
and then bringing shame on
on
X
an innocent bird? and then bringing shame on an innocent bird?
and
then
bringing
shame
on
an
innocent
bird
Just leave me alone! Just leave me alone!
Just
leave
me
alone
[sad music playing] [sad music playing]
sad
music
playing
Doctor Ryan? Doctor Ryan?
Doctor
Ryan
Devi, we don't have an appointment. Devi, we don't have an appointment.
Devi
we
don't
have
an
appointment
I know, but
but
X
I need your help. I know, but I need your help.
I
know
but
I
need
your
help
Wait. Why do you look hot? Wait. Why do you look hot?
Wait
Why
do
you
look
hot
Do you have a date? Do you have a date?
Do
you
have
a
date
Uh... yes, I do. And don't look so shocked. Uh... yes, I do. And don't look so shocked.
Uh
yes
I
do
And
don't
look
so
shocked
I do have a life  outside
outside
X
of
of
X
being your therapist. I do have a life  outside of being your therapist.
I
do
have
a
life 
outside
of
being
your
therapist
Not right now, you don't. I need your help. Not right now, you don't. I need your help.
Not
right
now
you
don't
I
need
your
help
Okay. Okay.
Okay
What's going on
on
X
? What's going on?
What's
going
on
Eleanor has a secret boyfriend Eleanor has a secret boyfriend
Eleanor
has
a
secret
boyfriend
that her and Fabiola have been keeping from
from
X
me, that her and Fabiola have been keeping from me,
that
her
and
Fabiola
have
been
keeping
from
me
because they thought I was unhinged and would have a nervous breakdown. because they thought I was unhinged and would have a nervous breakdown.
because
they
thought
I
was
unhinged
and
would
have
a
nervous
breakdown
Which, it seems like
like
X
you are. Which, it seems like you are.
Which
it
seems
like
you
are
Yeah, I'm losing it, Doc. Yeah, I'm losing it, Doc.
Yeah
I'm
losing
it
Doc
Okay. All right. Okay. All right.
Okay
All
right
[exhales] [exhales]
exhales
Talk to
to
X
me. How does their lie make you feel? Talk to me. How does their lie make you feel?
Talk
to
me
How
does
their
lie
make
you
feel
It doesn't matter how it makes me feel. It doesn't matter how it makes me feel.
It
doesn't
matter
how
it
makes
me
feel
It matters how it makes me look. It matters how it makes me look.
It
matters
how
it
makes
me
look
Well, all right. How do you want to
to
X
look? Well, all right. How do you want to look?
Well
all
right
How
do
you
want
to
look
Normal. I just want to
to
X
be a normal girl, who isn't called mean names, Normal. I just want to be a normal girl, who isn't called mean names,
Normal
I
just
want
to
be
a
normal
girl
who
isn't
called
mean
names
and could actually have a boyfriend. and could actually have a boyfriend.
and
could
actually
have
a
boyfriend
I don't even care who he is, as
as
X
long as
as
X
he wanted to
to
X
be with
with
X
me. I don't even care who he is, as long as he wanted to be with me.
I
don't
even
care
who
he
is
as
long
as
he
wanted
to
be
with
me
[exhales deeply] [exhales deeply]
exhales
deeply
Devi, look, can I be honest with
with
X
you? Devi, look, can I be honest with you?
Devi
look
can
I
be
honest
with
you
Having just any boyfriend, no matter who he is, Having just any boyfriend, no matter who he is,
Having
just
any
boyfriend
no
matter
who
he
is
is not gonna make you happier or change who you are. is not gonna make you happier or change who you are.
is
not
gonna
make
you
happier
or
change
who
you
are
Trust me, but
but
X
after
after
X
all you've been through
through
X
, Trust me, but after all you've been through,
Trust
me
but
after
all
you've
been
through
maybe you shouldn't be so focused on
on
X
having a boyfriend. maybe you shouldn't be so focused on having a boyfriend.
maybe
you
shouldn't
be
so
focused
on
having
a
boyfriend
I mean, do you really think you'd make a good girlfriend right now? I mean, do you really think you'd make a good girlfriend right now?
I
mean
do
you
really
think
you'd
make
a
good
girlfriend
right
now
Probably not. Probably not.
Probably
not
Okay. Okay.
Okay
So what is it you can do this year to
to
X
succeed at something So what is it you can do this year to succeed at something
So
what
is
it
you
can
do
this
year
to
succeed
at
something
that would actually make you happy... that would actually make you happy...
that
would
actually
make
you
happy
and make you feel good about
about
X
yourself? and make you feel good about yourself?
and
make
you
feel
good
about
yourself
["Composure" by
by
X
Argonaut & Wasp playing] ["Composure" by Argonaut & Wasp playing]
Composure
by
Argonaut
Wasp
playing
I think I know what I need to
to
X
do. I think I know what I need to do.
I
think
I
know
what
I
need
to
do
All right. My girl. All right. My girl.
All
right
My
girl
Now get to
to
X
gettin'. I got a hot date. Now get to gettin'. I got a hot date.
Now
get
to
gettin'
I
got
a
hot
date
Good luck on
on
X
your date. Good luck on your date.
Good
luck
on
your
date
[exhales deeply] [exhales deeply]
exhales
deeply
♪ Turn around
around
X
, cause you're pretty And I like
like
X
that ♪ ♪ Turn around, cause you're pretty And I like that ♪
Turn
around cause
you're
pretty
And
I
like
that
Later, man. Later, man.
Later
man
Hi, Paxton. Hi, Paxton.
Hi
Paxton
You don't know me,  but
but
X
my name is Devi Vishwakumar. You don't know me,  but my name is Devi Vishwakumar.
You
don't
know
me 
but
my
name
is
Devi
Vishwakumar
I'm a sophomore. I'm a sophomore.
I'm
a
sophomore
I sit behind
behind
X
you in history class. I sit behind you in history class.
I
sit
behind
you
in
history
class
I was also paralyzed last year? I was also paralyzed last year?
I
was
also
paralyzed
last
year
Oh, okay, great. You are familiar with
with
X
that. Oh, okay, great. You are familiar with that.
Oh
okay
great
You
are
familiar
with
that
So here's the thing. So here's the thing.
So
here's
the
thing
I'm into
into
X
you. I'm into you.
I'm
into
you
Like, I could name every class you've had for
for
X
the last two years. Like, I could name every class you've had for the last two years.
Like
I
could
name
every
class
you've
had
for
the
last
two
years
But I won't do that. But I won't do that.
But
I
won't
do
that
And I know you'd never be my boyfriend, And I know you'd never be my boyfriend,
And
I
know
you'd
never
be
my
boyfriend
because you're you, and I'm me, because you're you, and I'm me,
because
you're
you
and
I'm
me
but
but
X
I was wondering if you would ever consider... but I was wondering if you would ever consider...
but
I
was
wondering
if
you
would
ever
consider
[stammers] h--having sex with
with
X
me? [stammers] h--having sex with me?
stammers
h--having
sex
with
me
Oh, my God. I'm such an idiot. I'm so sorry. Oh, my God. I'm such an idiot. I'm so sorry.
Oh
my
God
I'm
such
an
idiot
I'm
so
sorry
-I can't believe I just did that. -Yeah. -I can't believe I just did that. -Yeah.
I
can't
believe
I
just
did
that
Yeah
Okay. Okay.
Okay
What? What?
What
[McEnroe] What? That actually worked? [McEnroe] What? That actually worked?
McEnroe
What
That
actually
worked
[Paxton] Just sex, right? [Paxton] Just sex, right?
Paxton
Just
sex
right
[Devi] Just sex. [Devi] Just sex.
Devi
Just
sex
I'm down
down
X
, but
but
X
I can't tonight. I'm down, but I can't tonight.
I'm
down
but
I
can't
tonight
Wow, okay! Wow, okay!
Wow
okay
Twist. This is surprising. Twist. This is surprising.
Twist
This
is
surprising
Looking forward to
to
X
it. Looking forward to it.
Looking
forward
to
it
Will circle back about
about
X
it. Will circle back about it.
Will
circle
back
about
it
["Playing Games" by
by
X
Anna Of The North playing] ["Playing Games" by Anna Of The North playing]
Playing
Games
by
Anna
Of
The
North
playing
Okay! Okay!
Okay
[McEnroe] Devi couldn't believe it. [McEnroe] Devi couldn't believe it.
McEnroe
Devi
couldn't
believe
it
For the first time, she had something she wanted to
to
X
write in her grief journal. For the first time, she had something she wanted to write in her grief journal.
For
the
first
time
she
had
something
she
wanted
to
write
in
her
grief
journal
♪ Left you thinking in the dark ♪ ♪ Left you thinking in the dark ♪
Left
you
thinking
in
the
dark
♪ Just to
to
X
make you feel unsure ♪ ♪ Just to make you feel unsure ♪
Just
to
make
you
feel
unsure
♪ Then I know you want me more ♪ ♪ Then I know you want me more ♪
Then
I
know
you
want
me
more
♪ If it's hurting, hurting, hurting ♪ ♪ If it's hurting, hurting, hurting ♪
If
it's
hurting
hurting
hurting
♪ Then it's working, working, working ♪ ♪ Then it's working, working, working ♪
Then
it's
working
working
working
♪ Oh, my God ♪ ♪ Oh, my God ♪
Oh
my
God
♪ God ♪ ♪ God ♪
God
♪ I've been playing games With your heart ♪ ♪ I've been playing games With your heart ♪
I've
been
playing
games
With
your
heart
♪ I've been playing games With your heart ♪ ♪ I've been playing games With your heart ♪
I've
been
playing
games
With
your
heart
♪ I've been playing games With your heart ♪ ♪ I've been playing games With your heart ♪
I've
been
playing
games
With
your
heart
♪ I've been playing games With your heart ♪ ♪ I've been playing games With your heart ♪
I've
been
playing
games
With
your
heart
♪ I've been playing games With your heart ♪ ♪ I've been playing games With your heart ♪
I've
been
playing
games
With
your
heart
♪ If it's hurting, hurting, hurting ♪ ♪ If it's hurting, hurting, hurting ♪
If
it's
hurting
hurting
hurting
♪ Then it's working, working, working ♪ ♪ Then it's working, working, working ♪
Then
it's
working
working
working
♪ Oh, my God ♪ ♪ Oh, my God ♪
Oh
my
God

/

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