Watch and Learn - Jon and the News Team on Trump's Immigration Policies, Hegseth & The "War" on Drugs

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I hope your holiday was fine. Did you

I hope your holiday was fine Did you

have any uncomfortable moments with

Trump loving uh relatives? Well, if if

Trump loving uh relatives Well if if

you did, I just want to say THIS TO YOU.

you did I just want to say THIS TO YOU

SACK UP.

SACK UP

Cuz on Thanksgiving, the White House

Cuz on Thanksgiving the White House

press corps had to deal with actual

Trump.

Trump

>> Are you stupid? Are you a stupid person?

>> Are you stupid Are you a stupid person

And you're just asking questions because

you're a stupid person.

you're a stupid person

>> I'm I'm sorry, sir. The the question

>> I'm I'm sorry sir The the question

was, would you care for more stuffing?

was would you care for more stuffing

BUT LOOK, DON'T DON'T BLAME THE

BUT LOOK DON'T DON'T BLAME THE

PRESIDENT. I SAW YOU. BOOM. DON'T bo

PRESIDENT I SAW YOU BOOM DON'T bo

It's Thanksgiving. Everybody gets a

It's Thanksgiving Everybody gets a

little stressed out. I'm sure the

little stressed out I'm sure the

president calmed down and delivered a

more apppropo message to the American

people on this Thanksgiving holiday of

togetherness.

togetherness

>> I love it. Job.

>> I love it Job

>> We're not allowed to do that anymore.

>> We're not allowed to do that anymore

You know, we're not allowed. You're not

You know we're not allowed You're not

allowed to use the word Indian anymore.

allowed to use the word Indian anymore

The only one that wants you to ARE THE

INDIANS.

INDIANS

>> GOD DAMN IT, GRANDPA.

>> GOD DAMN IT GRANDPA

WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.

WE TALKED ABOUT THIS

I had the same thing happen in my house.

I had the same thing happen in my house

Look, we all hate sitting next to the

Look we all hate sitting next to the

daughtering old person at Thanksgiving,

daughtering old person at Thanksgiving

which I think might be me now.

which I think might be me now

But imagine if that was your job and

instead of being with your family and

friends this holiday, you're in the

friends this holiday you're in the

press corp. You got to fly down to Mara

press corp You got to fly down to Mara

Lago. I'm sorry, the Winter White House

Lago I'm sorry the Winter White House

>> and put up with this for a living.

>> and put up with this for a living

>> Today I'm in Florida, but generally I'm

>> Today I'm in Florida but generally I'm

in the White House. I'm in the Oval

in the White House I'm in the Oval

Office saying I won by a lot.

Office saying I won by a lot

>> I ran a second time. I won by a lot. And

>> I ran a second time I won by a lot And

I would say to myself, why are we

I would say to myself why are we

calling it Gulf of Mexico when we have I

like Tom Cruz, the last of our movie

like Tom Cruz the last of our movie

star. Can't hit a ball 30 yards. I'm

star Can't hit a ball 30 yards I'm

telling you, I looked at his swing. You

telling you I looked at his swing You

probably had your dinner already, but I

probably had your dinner already but I

didn't. And I know exactly what I'm

didn't And I know exactly what I'm

gonna have. Turkey.

gonna have Turkey

Yeah, we're all having turkey.

Yeah we're all having turkey

Excuse me. I'm just going to go doom

Excuse me I'm just going to go doom

scroll on my phone in the bathroom for a

while. But hey, everyone has trouble

while But hey everyone has trouble

after throwing down a pound of turkey

with all the fixings keeping their

thoughts straight. I'm sure his written

thoughts straight I'm sure his written

Thanksgiving message to the American

people will be more circumspect, more

people will be more circumspect more

rooted in gratitude.

rooted in gratitude

>> On Thanksgiving night, he called

>> On Thanksgiving night he called

Governor Tim Walls, quote, seriously

Governor Tim Walls quote seriously

On Thanksgiving,

On Thanksgiving

are you confusing that with festivists?

are you confusing that with festivists

And by the way, seriously Not

And by the way seriously Not

even like playfully like like

Mr. being, you know what I mean?

Mr being you know what I mean

celebratorily like the Black

Eyed Peas song.

Eyed Peas song

Yeah, they're they're very lucky that

Yeah they're they're very lucky that

started rhymes with it.

started rhymes with it

You know, the press corp had to spend

You know the press corp had to spend

the whole holiday weekend down to

Marlago listening to this brain ooze and

then they couldn't even go back home by

themselves. They had to fly back with

themselves They had to fly back with

this nut and ask him if he wants to

clarify any of the nonsense.

clarify any of the nonsense

>> Do you stand by that claim of calling

Tim Walls

>> WHAT IS HAPPENING?

>> WHAT IS HAPPENING

When Ken Burns does the documentary on

this era

and then the president called Tim Walls

and by the way to the what do you think

he's GOING TO SAY TO THAT QUESTION? YES,

he's GOING TO SAY TO THAT QUESTION YES

on reflection

it was obviously a poor choice of words.

it was obviously a poor choice of words

I have nothing but respect for Governor

Walls and the entire Todd community.

Walls and the entire Todd community

Perhaps it's time for me to step back

and start to listen.

and start to listen

>> He's not doing that.

>> He's not doing that

>> Do you stand by that gleam of calling

Tim Walls

>> Yeah, I think there's something wrong

>> Yeah I think there's something wrong

with him.

with him

>> SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM?

>> SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIM

With him?

With him

You were sitting with your family at

Thanksgiving, belly full of turkey and

Thanksgiving belly full of turkey and

pie, surrounded by the love of your

pie surrounded by the love of your

extended crime family, but your initial

extended crime family but your initial

instinct was to truth a slur at Tim

Walls. And there's something wrong with

Walls And there's something wrong with

him. And by the way, he's not the one

him And by the way he's not the one

who mysteriously got an MRI the other

day. What was up with that?

day What was up with that

>> What part of your body was the MRI

looking at?

looking at

>> I have no idea.

>> I have no idea

That's not physically possible

to have no idea. It's not possible.

to have no idea It's not possible

What would you say to the doctor? NO,

What would you say to the doctor NO

NO, NO. DON'T TELL ME. I WANT TO FIND

NO NO DON'T TELL ME I WANT TO FIND

OUT at my MRI reveal party.

OUT at my MRI reveal party

It's the lymph nodes.

It's the lymph nodes

What is happening?

What is happening

FOR GOD'S SAKES, MAN, WERE YOU NOT

FOR GOD'S SAKES MAN WERE YOU NOT

CURIOUS AT ALL

when they laid you down in a tube for a

half an hour to 45 minutes? You didn't

half an hour to 45 minutes You didn't

want to know what they might be doing?

want to know what they might be doing

Or did you just think to yourself, "What

Or did you just think to yourself What

a loud tanning bed.

a loud tanning bed

WHAT

IS HAPPENING?

IS HAPPENING

I CAN I CAN DO THIS ALL DAY.

I CAN I CAN DO THIS ALL DAY

>> How about letting us have a gander at

that MRI then?

that MRI then

>> So if they want to release it, it's okay

>> So if they want to release it it's okay

with me to release it. It's perfect.

with me to release it It's perfect

It's absolutely perfect.

It's absolutely perfect

>> So you didn't even know what they

scanned, but you got a perfect score.

scanned but you got a perfect score

Cuz by the way, that's how they score

Cuz by the way that's how they score

the MRIs.

the MRIs

You either get a big stamp, perfect,

You either get a big stamp perfect

or you get in red ink, see me.

or you get in red ink see me

You don't want that. You don't want to

You don't want that You don't want to

see me.

see me

What the

And while the president wasn't exactly

sure which organs were scanned, he he

sure which organs were scanned he he

knew which one wasn't.

knew which one wasn't

>> It wasn't the brain because I took a

cognitive test and I aced it.

cognitive test and I aced it

Did you ace it?

Did you ace it

Or is perhaps the cognitive test knowing

what part of your body was staying?

what part of your body was staying

Maybe that was the test.

Maybe that was the test

But of course, because it was

But of course because it was

Thanksgiving and Donald Trump so

appreciates the time that these

reporters have spent away from their

families, he did end this brief session

families he did end this brief session

with some words of gratitude for the

difficult jobs that these reporters do,

difficult jobs that these reporters do

especially the two reporters standing

closest to him.

closest to him

>> I took a cognitive test and I aced it. I

>> I took a cognitive test and I aced it I

got a perfect mark, which you would be

got a perfect mark which you would be

incapable of doing. Goodbye, everybody.

incapable of doing Goodbye everybody

You, too.

You too

>> Thank you, Mr. President.

>> Thank you Mr President

two things here that I love.

two things here that I love

The first is

when he goes, "You too."

when he goes You too

And the woman on the right whose face is

like, "Fuck did I do

like Fuck did I do

I'm just standing there. She's the one

I'm just standing there She's the one

with the cognitive question. I'm just

with the cognitive question I'm just

YOU COULDN'T FINISH THE COGNITIVE TEST

AND YOU TOO. LIKE WHAT what is that?

AND YOU TOO LIKE WHAT what is that

That's just crazy.

That's just crazy

And he's calling him stupid. IT SEEMS

And he's calling him stupid IT SEEMS

LIKE ABOUT A WEEK AGO someone on Trump's

press team was like, "You got to stop

press team was like You got to stop

CALLING THE FEMALE REPORTERS UGLY AND

PIGGY." And he was like, "Got it.

PIGGY And he was like Got it

I won't do that anymore at all.

I won't do that anymore at all

I know what I'll do.

I know what I'll do

YOU'RE STUPID.

YOU'RE STUPID

And the second thing I like about that

play is that Trump thinks he's

delivering the mic drop. You're stupid.

delivering the mic drop You're stupid

You're too. Good night. Tip your

You're too Good night Tip your

waitresses. But then he's got to waddle

waitresses But then he's got to waddle

ALL THE WAY BACK TO HIS BED. LOOK AT HIM

ALL THE WAY BACK TO HIS BED LOOK AT HIM

GO.

He's got to waddle all the way back

there pretending he doesn't need

handrails. Isn't that what's happening?

handrails Isn't that what's happening

By the way, that plane's not even in the

By the way that plane's not even in the

air. That's just instability from the

air That's just instability from the

extra liquid slloshing around in his

cankles. That's what he's

cankles That's what he's

when he moves.

when he moves

He's got so much extra fluid in there.

He's got so much extra fluid in there

It's like pushing a milk carton when he

moves.

moves

But let's forget for a moment about this

president's ugly contempt for those who

are charged with getting information

about his presidency out to other

Americans. And let's just spend a little

Americans And let's just spend a little

time also enjoying the utter incoherence

of his presidency in general. For

of his presidency in general For

instance, the policy change that Trump

instance the policy change that Trump

is making in the aftermath of the

terrible National Guard shooting in DC.

terrible National Guard shooting in DC

That horrible act was done by one

individual who happened to be part of a

larger group of Afghans who were brought

here because they risked their lives

helping the United States during our

invasion of Afghanistan, which of course

invasion of Afghanistan which of course

means

>> we know that Afghan national uh is

suspected shooter of these National

Guards.

Guards

>> Yeah. The people that shouldn't be in

>> Yeah The people that shouldn't be in

our country.

our country

>> So you announced that asylum

>> and that includes Somalians and includes

plenty of others.

plenty of others

Did you just Somalia Afghanistan?

Did you just Somalia Afghanistan

Because of this one Afghan, all Afghans

Because of this one Afghan all Afghans

are suspect. And also Somalians.

are suspect And also Somalians

He did to Somalia and Afghanistan

exactly what he did to the reporters on

the plane.

the plane

YOU'RE BANNED FROM THIS COUNTRY BECAUSE

OF ONE uh terrible thing that one OF YOU

PEOPLE DID.

PEOPLE DID

YOU, TOO.

YOU TOO

WHAT? What if if you're wondering what

WHAT What if if you're wondering what

Somalians had to do with the Afghan

shooter? Uh, yeah.

shooter Uh yeah

>> What did the Somalians have to do with

this Afghan guy who shot the national?

this Afghan guy who shot the national

>> Uh, nothing. But Somalians have caused a

>> Uh nothing But Somalians have caused a

lot of trouble.

lot of trouble

They had nothing to do with it. Just

They had nothing to do with it Just

reminded me that there are other groups

I also don't like.

I also don't like

I don't see color. I just hate all of

I don't see color I just hate all of

it.

So, our entire immigration system is now

So our entire immigration system is now

going to be based around the principle

that if even one person from your ethnic

or religious groups up, you all got to

or religious groups up you all got to

go and a screening process that can't

tell the difference. How do I know it

tell the difference How do I know it

can't tell the difference?

can't tell the difference

>> Your DOJ IG just reported this year that

there was thorough vetting by DHS and by

the FBI of these Afghans who were

brought into the US. So, why do you

brought into the US So why do you

blame the Biden administration?

blame the Biden administration

>> Because they let them in. Are you

>> Because they let them in Are you

stupid? Are you a stupid person? And

stupid Are you a stupid person And

you're just asking questions because

you're a stupid person.

you're a stupid person

>> See, that question was not a stupid

>> See that question was not a stupid

person's question. A stupid person's

person's question A stupid person's

question would be, "May I eat my desk?"

question would be May I eat my desk

To which you would say, "What a stupid

To which you would say What a stupid

question. It's your desk. You can do

question It's your desk You can do

whatever you want with it."

whatever you want with it

Look, the question relates to can any

Look the question relates to can any

free society create a 100% foolproof

free society create a 100 foolproof

system for immigrants or for its natural

citizens? I mean, what criterion will we

citizens I mean what criterion will we

use? Now,

use Now

>> Donald Trump said he plans to quote

remove anyone who is not a net asset to

the United States.

the United States

>> HOW DO YOU BY WHAT MEASURE? HOW? IF THEY

>> HOW DO YOU BY WHAT MEASURE HOW IF THEY

can't love our country, we don't want

can't love our country we don't want

them.

them

>> BUT HOW DO YOU MEASURE THAT?

>> BUT HOW DO YOU MEASURE THAT

WHAT IF they stand at the border on a

scale of to

>> how much do you uh excuse Do you say to

the moon and back or just to the moon?

the moon and back or just to the moon

How much? I mean, this is it's utterly

How much I mean this is it's utterly

incoherent. Can you give us a more

incoherent Can you give us a more

specific idea of which groups would pass

your muster?

your muster

>> I love the Irish special people. I

>> I love the Irish special people I

really do. I love the Irish. We're back

really do I love the Irish We're back

in time.

in time

We love the Italians.

We love the Italians

>> Donald Trump's defended wanting

immigrants from quote nice countries

like Denmark and Switzerland.

like Denmark and Switzerland

>> Okay, now I'm starting to see a pattern.

>> Okay now I'm starting to see a pattern

>> I'm sure it's only in my head.

>> I'm sure it's only in my head

>> Refugee admissions into the country

right now are essentially at zero with

the exception of Africconers fleeing

persecution in South Africa.

persecution in South Africa

So, one horrific act by one Afghan means

So one horrific act by one Afghan means

all Afghans are suspect. But we now

all Afghans are suspect But we now

welcome with open arms all Africaners

because I mean really what have white

South Africans ever done to anybody?

South Africans ever done to anybody

Is there anyone else that you would just

let in as well? Anything weirdly

let in as well Anything weirdly

specific? I also like very competent

specific I also like very competent

people coming into our country,

people coming into our country

matrades, wine, you know, uh, experts,

matrades wine you know uh experts

uh, even waiters, high quality waiters.

uh even waiters high quality waiters

You you got to get the best people.

You you got to get the best people

We're so

So, Somalians

So Somalians

aren't welcome unless they're also

somales.

somales

Some,

Some

>> BY THE WAY,

>> BY THE WAY

BY THE WAY, I want to make this clear. I

BY THE WAY I want to make this clear I

don't mind Trump having strict

standards. The problem is if you are

standards The problem is if you are

from the so-called less desirable

countries, he does not view you as

countries he does not view you as

individuals. You are just part of a

individuals You are just part of a

larger amorphous blob of suspicion that

deserves no grace. And if one of you

deserves no grace And if one of you

up, all are condemned. But he

up all are condemned But he

doesn't even hold that standard for his

own ethnic group. People from Magistan.

own ethnic group People from Magistan

Now, that happens to be a group that's

Now that happens to be a group that's

got its own pretty solid criminal

backstory. And I'm not even referring to

backstory And I'm not even referring to

January 6th. Let's just go ahead and

January 6th Let's just go ahead and

give them a mulligan for the whole

trying to overthrow the government

thing.

thing

Just look at the crimes they've

committed since January 6.

committed since January 6

>> Owning unauthorized firearms.

>> Owning unauthorized firearms

>> Defrauding investors of $41 million.

>> Defrauding investors of 41 million

>> Arrested after a dog attack that injured

four people.

four people

>> Reportedly raised a firearm during a

traffic stop. Making a terroristic

traffic stop Making a terroristic

threat. Convicted of plotting to kill

threat Convicted of plotting to kill

FBI agents.

FBI agents

>> Tried to bribe child sex victim. thefts

>> Tried to bribe child sex victim thefts

of industrial copper.

of industrial copper

>> Obviously, that's not an order of

>> Obviously that's not an order of

severity.

severity

We're ratcheting up. We're going to kill

We're ratcheting up We're going to kill

AN FBI AGENT, PAYING OFF child sex

AN FBI AGENT PAYING OFF child sex

trafficking, and where's my copper?

trafficking and where's my copper

Where?

Where

THAT WAS INDUSTRIAL COPPER. I was I was

THAT WAS INDUSTRIAL COPPER I was I was

going to do something that people do

with copper.

with copper

I was going to make a lamp.

I was going to make a lamp

Some of these people, it's almost like

Some of these people it's almost like

they already knew before they were

pardoned that they were going to use

their second chance to commit more

crimes. Zachary Alam. He was sentenced

crimes Zachary Alam He was sentenced

to eight years for assaulting police

officers on January 6th before he

demanded a pardon from Trump. When a

demanded a pardon from Trump When a

local station asked Alam what he would

do once he was released, he said, quote,

do once he was released he said quote

"That's just for me to know and you to

That's just for me to know and you to

find out."

find out

And boy did we find out after he was

arrested for a home invasion.

arrested for a home invasion

Apparently it's Salvador Deli's home.

Apparently it's Salvador Deli's home

He Deli came HOME AND WENT, "WHERE'S MY

He Deli came HOME AND WENT WHERE'S MY

MUSTACHE?"

MUSTACHE

OH, just have to make one out of

OH just have to make one out of

industrial copper.

industrial copper

So considering how devoted to crime some

of Magistan is, I would assume Trump has

of Magistan is I would assume Trump has

no choice but to denaturalize and deport

everyone in MAGA as well. four January 6

everyone in MAGA as well four January 6

people. They're patriots in so many

people They're patriots in so many

cases. These were people that actually

cases These were people that actually

love our country.

love our country

>> They were peaceful people. These were

>> They were peaceful people These were

great people.

great people

>> There has never been a group of people

treated so harshly or unfairly in our

country's history.

country's history

>> Really, no other group treated this

>> Really no other group treated this

harshly. I I guess we've forgotten

harshly I I guess we've forgotten

slavery

and how Ellen treated her staff,

and how Ellen treated her staff

>> you know,

>> you know

there goes that invite.

there goes that invite

That's the real Trump standard. If

That's the real Trump standard If

you're not part of Trump's group, you

you're not part of Trump's group you

have no margin of error in this country.

have no margin of error in this country

But if you are, it's all margin of

But if you are it's all margin of

error. Not only are you not judged by

error Not only are you not judged by

the worst of your group, the worst of

the worst of your group the worst of

your group isn't judged at all. And to

your group isn't judged at all And to

anyone who thinks that Trump's third

world immigration crackdown is really

about national security and is not just

an opportunity for a USA complexion

correction,

correction

I have but one thing to say to you.

I have but one thing to say to you

>> Are you stupid? Are you a stupid person?

>> Are you stupid Are you a stupid person

>> It's been a chaotic year for the White

House. From the ballroom construction to

House From the ballroom construction to

a new decor style that design experts

are calling leprechaun

The point is the people's house is in

rough shape. And I don't know if

rough shape And I don't know if

anything at all could save it now. Wait,

anything at all could save it now Wait

do you hear that?

do you hear that

Is that what I think it is?

Is that what I think it is

>> Who gives a about Christmas stuff and

decoration? But I need to do it, right?

decoration But I need to do it right

>> Yes, it's a Christmas miracle.

>> Yes it's a Christmas miracle

>> The first lady unveiled the 2025 White

House Christmas decorations today. This

House Christmas decorations today This

year's theme, home is where the heart

year's theme home is where the heart

is.

I love how she's touching everything

like that. Would someone who hates

like that Would someone who hates

Christmas do these

or these?

or these

Yes. The theme is home is where the

Yes The theme is home is where the

heart is. Or as Melania calls it, New

heart is Or as Melania calls it New

York. Can I go home now?

York Can I go home now

I MEAN

I mean good god she didn't even take her

coat off. Keep car running outside. That

coat off Keep car running outside That

won't be long.

won't be long

And while Melania was decking the halls,

And while Melania was decking the halls

Donald was dreaming of sugar plums

dancing in his head. Unfortunately, it

dancing in his head Unfortunately it

was in the middle of a cabinet meeting

where he somehow

kept falling asleep while people worked

really hard to kiss his ass.

really hard to kiss his ass

>> As we speak to you now, uh Steve Woodco

>> As we speak to you now uh Steve Woodco

is in Moscow trying to find a way to end

this war to save lives of 8 9,000

this war to save lives of 8 9000

people, Mr. President, as you know, are

people Mr President as you know are

dying every week.

dying every week

>> Jeez. Normally, dudes fall asleep after

>> Jeez Normally dudes fall asleep after

someone blows them. If you're falling

someone blows them If you're falling

asleep mid you should see a

doctor.

doctor

But let's move on to Cash Patel, FBI

But let's move on to Cash Patel FBI

director. And man, we just found out

director And man we just found out

that Cash Patel is the FBI director. And

that Cash Patel is the FBI director And

now, a new report is giving people yet

now a new report is giving people yet

another reason to question Cash's

priorities as director. the day after

priorities as director the day after

Charlie Kirk's assassination. Um,

Charlie Kirk's assassination Um

sources uh in this report say that Cash

Patel flew in to Provo airport on the

FBI jet and then refused to get off

until someone provided him with a

mediumsized FBI raid jacket. One was

mediumsized FBI raid jacket One was

found belonging to a female agent and

taken to the plane.

taken to the plane

>> Okay. Obviously, as an enlightened

>> Okay Obviously as an enlightened

progressive person, I believe that

progressive person I believe that

gender expression is a spectrum and we

shouldn't judge people for what they

wear. At the same time, GAY,

wear At the same time GAY

but honestly, you can't even tell that

but honestly you can't even tell that

it's a women's jacket. Although, looking

it's a women's jacket Although looking

back on it, you can tell that he was up

back on it you can tell that he was up

there thinking, "Fuck, I hope no one can

there thinking Fuck I hope no one can

tell I'm wearing a women's jacket."

tell I'm wearing a women's jacket

But come on. Throwing a tantrum and

But come on Throwing a tantrum and

refusing to get out of the plane until

he had exactly what he wanted to wear. I

he had exactly what he wanted to wear I

know he borrowed a woman's jacket, but

know he borrowed a woman's jacket but

did he borrow her period, too?

did he borrow her period too

And getting his jacket wasn't even

enough. Cash still needed to

enough Cash still needed to

accessorize.

accessorize

>> But then, uh, Patel, according to these

>> But then uh Patel according to these

sources, uh, was displeased by the fact

sources uh was displeased by the fact

that it didn't have Velcro patches on

the upper arms. And so then um these

the upper arms And so then um these

agents had to go scurrying around trying

to find velcro patches. Uh finally some

to find velcro patches Uh finally some

uh SWAT raid guys uh produced them off

their own jackets.

their own jackets

>> Oh my god. It's like trying to get your

>> Oh my god It's like trying to get your

8-year-old out the door for school. No,

8-year-old out the door for school No

mom. I'm not leaving until I find my

mom I'm not leaving until I find my

special jacket. THE ONE WITH THE COOL

special jacket THE ONE WITH THE COOL

PATCHES.

PATCHES

Let's move on to the big news about Pete

Hexith, Secretary of Defense and guy who

Hexith Secretary of Defense and guy who

will buy you a beer even if you're

underage. And also, you didn't even ask

underage And also you didn't even ask

him for beer. And also, he's just

him for beer And also he's just

drinking the beer all by himself.

drinking the beer all by himself

I'm kidding. Pete assures us he's sober,

I'm kidding Pete assures us he's sober

although he might need a drink now. Now

although he might need a drink now Now

to the intensifying controversy

surrounding Defense Secretary Pete Hgsth

over an alleged order to kill everyone

on a suspected drug boat and a second

strike that targeted survivors.

strike that targeted survivors

Lawmakers from both parties and legal

experts say this could be a war crime.

experts say this could be a war crime

>> Oh my god, I can't believe Pete Hexith

>> Oh my god I can't believe Pete Hexith

might be going down for war crimes. I

might be going down for war crimes I

thought for sure it'd be a hit and run

while running away from another hit and

run.

run

But don't worry, Pete's already prepared

But don't worry Pete's already prepared

for jail. He got the gang tattoos years

for jail He got the gang tattoos years

ago. Way to plan ahead, Mr. secretary.

ago Way to plan ahead Mr secretary

And one thing we know, if somebody did

And one thing we know if somebody did

something wrong, he's going to man up

something wrong he's going to man up

and take responsibility as the secretary

of war.

of war

>> Pete Hagsth put the blame for the second

strike squarely on his commander,

strike squarely on his commander

Admiral Mitch Bradley, saying on X, "I

Admiral Mitch Bradley saying on X I

stand by him and the combat decisions he

has made on the September 2nd mission

and all others since."

and all others since

What a little

Blaming someone by pretending to praise

them. I stand by him and all the

them I stand by him and all the

decisions he made on his own while I was

out of the room. If you want to get to

out of the room If you want to get to

him, you know what? You'll have to get

him you know what You'll have to get

through me. And I will let you do that

through me And I will let you do that

as you were.

as you were

I also love how Pete's also pre-blaming

Bradley for all the other sins. And I

Bradley for all the other sins And I

also congratulate the admiral for

cheating on my wife at the holiday party

next week.

next week

So yeah, things are starting to look a

So yeah things are starting to look a

little dicey for the Secretary of

Defensiveness. But Pete is fighting back

Defensiveness But Pete is fighting back

the way a true warrior does with memes.

the way a true warrior does with memes

The defense secretary of the United

States today posting this meme of it

Franklin the Turtle, a children's

Franklin the Turtle a children's

character, standing on the edge of a

character standing on the edge of a

helicopter firing a missile at a boat.

helicopter firing a missile at a boat

Okay. Well, this whole image is deeply

Okay Well this whole image is deeply

disturbing, especially the part where

disturbing especially the part where

the turtle is wearing a helmet. Why does

the turtle is wearing a helmet Why does

he need a helmet? His whole body is a

he need a helmet His whole body is a

helmet.

helmet

And obviously, Hex should not be using

And obviously Hex should not be using

Franklin this way. There's already

Franklin this way There's already

several turtles who famously kill people

for a living. Use them.

for a living Use them

So, obviously, this story is developing

So obviously this story is developing

rapidly, but it really does show you why

rapidly but it really does show you why

it's so important to vet your cabinet

members. If if only there were signs

members If if only there were signs

that Hegath would be so cavalier about

war crimes. Back in 2019, Hegathth

war crimes Back in 2019 Hegathth

reportedly spent months personally

lobbying Trump to pardon multiple US

service members who had been accused of

war crimes.

war crimes

>> If he committed premeditated murder,

>> If he committed premeditated murder

then Duncan did as well. Then I did as

then Duncan did as well Then I did as

well. What do you think you do? War.

well What do you think you do War

>> Put me in jail then.

>> Put me in jail then

>> Put us all in jail.

>> Put us all in jail

>> Hey, you said it, not me. Let's begin

>> Hey you said it not me Let's begin

with President Trump. He started his

with President Trump He started his

second term in January, promising to

second term in January promising to

keep America out of foreign wars. Now

keep America out of foreign wars Now

it's December and he almost made it a

year.

year

>> President Trump hinting at land strikes

in Venezuela as backlash on the

controversial boat strikes deepens.

controversial boat strikes deepens

>> We're going to start doing those strikes

on land, too. You know, the land is much

on land too You know the land is much

easier. It's much easier. And we know

easier It's much easier And we know

the routes they take. We know everything

the routes they take We know everything

about them. We know where they live. We

about them We know where they live We

know where the bad ones live.

know where the bad ones live

We know where they live. We know if

We know where they live We know if

they've been good or bad. What is he?

they've been good or bad What is he

Drone strike Santa.

Drone strike Santa

So yeah, Trump is launching a war on

So yeah Trump is launching a war on

narot terrorists. Which, by the way, I

narot terrorists Which by the way I

get why he calls them narot terrorists

because Americans know how to feel about

terrorists. We hate those guys. But if

terrorists We hate those guys But if

you just say it's a war on drug dealers,

you just say it's a war on drug dealers

that's a person we invited

to bring us drugs that we wanted.

to bring us drugs that we wanted

That's like if they told you to start

hating your Amazon delivery guy. Like

hating your Amazon delivery guy Like

that's your guy. He's bringing your

that's your guy He's bringing your

blender.

blender

But hey, this war in Venezuela just

But hey this war in Venezuela just

shows how serious Donald Trump is about

going after these drug traffickers. If

going after these drug traffickers If

there's even one guy on a little fishing

boat, Trump's taking him out. So drug

boat Trump's taking him out So drug

dealers, watch your back. President

dealers watch your back President

Trump has issued a full and

unconditional pardon for the former

president of Honduras. Juan Orlando

president of Honduras Juan Orlando

Hernandez was serving a 45-year sentence

after he was convicted on major drug

trafficking charges in the US last year.

trafficking charges in the US last year

Like I just said,

Like I just said

drug dealers, watch your back because

drug dealers watch your back because

Trump is about to give you a nice

massage.

massage

I don't even know what's crazier. That

I don't even know what's crazier That

President Trump is pardoning the

president of Honduras for selling drugs

or that the president of Honduras was

selling drugs.

selling drugs

People work their whole lives just to

become president. So for you to get

become president So for you to get

there and say to yourself, "Now I get to

there and say to yourself Now I get to

do my dream

is crazy. At least Walter White had a

is crazy At least Walter White had a

teacher salary.

teacher salary

You're the president and not only are

you selling drugs, you're so bad at it,

you selling drugs you're so bad at it

you get arrested in a whole different

country."

country

But maybe I'm missing something about

this pardon. Maybe he's not some

this pardon Maybe he's not some

kingpin. I mean, this is America, the

kingpin I mean this is America the

country that locks people up for years

just because they happen to have a

little baggie of drugs. How do we know

little baggie of drugs How do we know

this marginalized president deserved 45

years? I'm sure whatever this guy did,

years I'm sure whatever this guy did

it wasn't that bad.

it wasn't that bad

>> Juan Orlando Hernandez helped smuggle

400 tons of cocaine into the US.

400 tons of cocaine into the US

I'm sorry. 400 tons of cocaine.

I'm sorry 400 tons of cocaine

First of all, how do you even shove all

First of all how do you even shove all

that up your ass?

that up your ass

I didn't even know you could measure

cocaine in tons.

cocaine in tons

It's like if someone told you they weigh

48° F. Like,

48° F Like

the are you talking about?

the are you talking about

400 tons of cocaine. That sounds like

400 tons of cocaine That sounds like

all the cocaine in the world.

all the cocaine in the world

Give me another unit based on not all

the cocaine in the world.

the cocaine in the world

>> More than 400 tons, which is about 4.5

>> More than 400 tons which is about 45

billion individual doses of cocaine.

billion individual doses of cocaine

>> Doses.

>> Doses

Is that the term?

Is that the term

>> Hey man, I'm going to head to the

>> Hey man I'm going to head to the

bathroom and do a couple of recommended

serving sizes.

serving sizes

You could tell this is someone who

doesn't know about cocaine because you

don't measure it in doses. You measure

don't measure it in doses You measure

it in halfwritten screenplays. All

it in halfwritten screenplays All

right?

right

That's like saying, "Hey, do you mind if

That's like saying Hey do you mind if

I get another dial up of meth?"

I get another dial up of meth

But the point is

the point is in the middle of an active

war against drug traffickers, Donald

war against drug traffickers Donald

Trump has pardoned a man who smuggled in

enough cocaine to give every American

resting cash patell face.

resting cash patell face

It's confusing to say the least, but if

It's confusing to say the least but if

I know Donald Trump, he'll have a very

I know Donald Trump he'll have a very

coherent and wellthoughtout explanation

for this pardon.

for this pardon

>> You've made so clear how you want to

keep drugs out of the US. Can you

keep drugs out of the US Can you

explain more about why you would pardon

a notorious drug trafficker?

a notorious drug trafficker

>> Well, I don't know who you're talking

>> Well I don't know who you're talking

about.

about

You know you've been pardoning too many

people when you're like, "I'm sorry.

people when you're like I'm sorry

Which notorious drug lord are we talking

about? At least give me the first letter

about At least give me the first letter

or we'll be here all night." It's wild

or we'll be here all night It's wild

how Trump always talks to the media like

he's in court. He's like, "I don't know

he's in court He's like I don't know

who you're talking about. I wasn't

who you're talking about I wasn't

there. I'm not even here."

there I'm not even here

But after they reminded Trump who this

guy was, he did have some semblance of

guy was he did have some semblance of

an explanation.

an explanation

>> Well, you take a look. I mean, they

>> Well you take a look I mean they

could say that uh you take any country

you want. If somebody sells drugs in

you want If somebody sells drugs in

that country, that doesn't mean you

that country that doesn't mean you

arrest the president and put him in jail

for the rest of his life. And that

for the rest of his life And that

includes this country. Okay? To be

includes this country Okay To be

honest, I mean, if somebody does

honest I mean if somebody does

something wrong, do you put the

something wrong do you put the

president of the country in jail?

president of the country in jail

Clearly Trump is worried about a

slippery slope here. It's like it's like

slippery slope here It's like it's like

that classic poem, first they came for

that classic poem first they came for

the wildly corrupt presidents and I said

nothing because that would be admissible

in court.

in court

But I'll be honest, I don't think Trump

But I'll be honest I don't think Trump

pardoned another president so that he

could get pardoned later. That's just

could get pardoned later That's just

too smart for Trump. It It's like seeing

too smart for Trump It It's like seeing

a monkey draw a cube. There's no way he

a monkey draw a cube There's no way he

knew that's what he was drawing.

knew that's what he was drawing

There had to be another dumber reason

why Trump pardoned Hernandez.

why Trump pardoned Hernandez

>> The ex-president of Honduras wrote a

letter to President Trump back in

October calling Trump your excellency

and praising Trump's resilience in what

he called the face of political

persecution. Writing in part, just as

persecution Writing in part just as

you, President Trump, I have suffered

you President Trump I have suffered

political persecution targeted by the

Biden Harris administration.

Biden Harris administration

>> It was that easy.

>> It was that easy

All you have to do is write Trump a

letter saying that Biden framed you for

something you definitely did, had a

something you definitely did had a

trial for, and were convicted of. You

trial for and were convicted of You

are the most did it.

are the most did it

Cuz if it really is that easy, you know

Cuz if it really is that easy you know

what this means?

what this means

I don't think Diddy can read or write.

I don't think Diddy can read or write

We are just two weeks away from the

deadline for the DOJ to release the

Epstein files. And Pam Bondi, if you're

Epstein files And Pam Bondi if you're

listening, it's still not too late to

listening it's still not too late to

release them advent calendar style. You

release them advent calendar style You

know,

know

let's see. December 4th. Okay. What's in

let's see December 4th Okay What's in

it today? Oh, Bill Clinton. Huh.

it today Oh Bill Clinton Huh

In the meantime, House Democrats

In the meantime House Democrats

continue to release their own Epstein

documents. So, what's in this latest

documents So what's in this latest

drop? Is it emails? Maybe a bank

drop Is it emails Maybe a bank

records? We're seeing new images of the

records We're seeing new images of the

notorious Caribbean estate dubbed

Epstein Island. Democrats on the House

Epstein Island Democrats on the House

Oversight Committee releasing more than

150 photos and videos of the sprawling

mansion. Videos of the pool area,

mansion Videos of the pool area

bedrooms, and bathrooms. There were also

bedrooms and bathrooms There were also

framed photos of the financier and his

partner Galain Maxwell, like this one

partner Galain Maxwell like this one

with the late Pope John Paul II.

with the late Pope John Paul II

Wow.

Wow

Wow. I can't believe it. The face of the

Wow I can't believe it The face of the

world's most notorious pedophile ring

got to meet Jeffrey Epstein.

got to meet Jeffrey Epstein

Wow.

Wow

Wow.

Wow

Amazing.

Amazing

That's the most game recognized game

photo I've ever seen.

photo I've ever seen

Fun fact, do you know who took that

Fun fact do you know who took that

photo? Bill Cosby. Interesting.

photo Bill Cosby Interesting

Now, this release doesn't contain any

Now this release doesn't contain any

major bombshells, but we did learn one

major bombshells but we did learn one

new thing. Epstein Island look like

new thing Epstein Island look like

How does a billionaire's private island

look like a twostar Airbnb? I'm not even

look like a twostar Airbnb I'm not even

talking about the sex rooms. The common

talking about the sex rooms The common

spaces are even worse.

spaces are even worse

>> Images show a room that appears to be

used as a library with four armchairs

and a chalkboard with scribbled words.

and a chalkboard with scribbled words

>> What the is that layout?

>> What the is that layout

Look, I know the sex crimes are the main

Look I know the sex crimes are the main

story, but I cannot remain silent about

story but I cannot remain silent about

this furniture placement. Who places

this furniture placement Who places

four lazy boys that close together? Come

four lazy boys that close together Come

on, BOYS. COME TO MY LIBRARY. WE CAN

on BOYS COME TO MY LIBRARY WE CAN

SMOKE cigars and rub knees together. I

SMOKE cigars and rub knees together I

mean, what happens if all four of you

mean what happens if all four of you

decide to recline AT ONCE? IT'S CHAOS.

decide to recline AT ONCE IT'S CHAOS

This man is sick. You You don't want to

This man is sick You You don't want to

throw a table IN THE MIDDLE AT LEAST? I

throw a table IN THE MIDDLE AT LEAST I

know it's a sex compound, but what if a

know it's a sex compound but what if a

couple of guys want to do a puzzle while

their fluids replenish? You know,

their fluids replenish You know

Jeffrey, JEFFREY, JEFFREY, COME ON. YOU

Jeffrey JEFFREY JEFFREY COME ON YOU

HAVE ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD, but you

HAVE ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD but you

don't have one pal who gets a Herman

Miller catalog.

Miller catalog

THE PEDOPHILE BILLIONAIRE COULDN'T FIND

ONE PEDOPHILE DECORATOR TO HELP OUT

HERE. And look, and don't say it was

HERE And look and don't say it was

Galileain's job to decorate because

that's sexist. She was a working

that's sexist She was a working

professional who was very busy with her

own sex trafficking career. And that

own sex trafficking career And that

wasn't even the only eyesore in the

room.

room

>> Another image shows a blackboard in his

study. There are the words power,

study There are the words power

deception, plots.

deception plots

>> What are they brainstorming? Evil plans.

>> What are they brainstorming Evil plans

What do we got? We got power, deception.

What do we got We got power deception

What else? Come on. We're an evil cabal

What else Come on We're an evil cabal

here, people. No bad ideas, plots. Okay.

here people No bad ideas plots Okay

Kind of the same thing, but all right.

Kind of the same thing but all right

And then I guess there's one guy who

threw out music.

threw out music

Not really on the same page, but okay,

Not really on the same page but okay

Diddy, thank you for contributing to it.

Diddy thank you for contributing to it

>> Please tell me there was one room that

didn't feel like a sad dad riddle. The

didn't feel like a sad dad riddle The

pictures revealing a room with a dentist

chair and masks along the wall.

chair and masks along the wall

>> Masks of men's faces on the walls and

what may be one of the most unnerving

images that we saw today.

images that we saw today

>> Nice choice.

>> Nice choice

I myself am a little squeamish about

going to the dentist, but if there's one

going to the dentist but if there's one

thing that puts me at ease, it's haunted

thing that puts me at ease it's haunted

orgy masks.

orgy masks

But this is the problem with being a

pedophile.

pedophile

This is a problem with being

a pedophile.

a pedophile

Everything you do suddenly seems creepy.

Everything you do suddenly seems creepy

But this is actually one of those things

that has an explanation. a dentist

that has an explanation a dentist

chair, which a source tells CBS News was

chair which a source tells CBS News was

put in for one of Epstein's girlfriends,

put in for one of Epstein's girlfriends

a European studying to be a dentist.

a European studying to be a dentist

Wait. Okay. All right. I I thought this

Wait Okay All right I I thought this

was a weird sex thing, but they're

was a weird sex thing but they're

actually doing dentistry here. That is

actually doing dentistry here That is

somehow way worse.

somehow way worse

Imagine being the one guy on the flight

to Epstein Island who is only going for

a tooth cleaning.

a tooth cleaning

Honey, honey, Prince Andrew goes to the

Honey honey Prince Andrew goes to the

same dentist as me.

same dentist as me

She must be a really good dentist.

She must be a really good dentist

You know what? Enough of that. Enough.

You know what Enough of that Enough

Move on. Move on to that drunk raccoon

Move on Move on to that drunk raccoon

who's going viral for all the chaos he

caused. Defense Secretary Pete Hex.

caused Defense Secretary Pete Hex

This poor guy has spent all week dodging

accusations of war crimes just because

he might have committed war crimes. And

he might have committed war crimes And

now he's got this to deal with. A new

now he's got this to deal with A new

Pentagon inspector general's report

found he put US service members at risk

by sharing sensitive details of an

active bombing mission in Yemen in March

in a signal group chat with other top

officials which mistakenly included a

journalist. Hegs denied wrongdoing when

journalist Hegs denied wrongdoing when

the story broke this past spring.

the story broke this past spring

>> Nobody was texting war plans.

>> Nobody was texting war plans

>> Oh, okay. Okay, buddy. No need to be

>> Oh okay Okay buddy No need to be

that close to me. We're not sitting in

that close to me We're not sitting in

Epste armchairs right now. Okay,

Epste armchairs right now Okay

no one's saying you were texting war

plans. Remind me what did you text?

plans Remind me what did you text

>> He detailed the times F-18s would launch

and quote when the first bombs will

definitely drop.

definitely drop

>> Okay, kind of sounds like you were

>> Okay kind of sounds like you were

texting war plans. In fact, texting

texting war plans In fact texting

those words makes the iPhone send little

bomber jets across the screens.

bomber jets across the screens

Regardless, an investigation couldn't

Regardless an investigation couldn't

hurt. Pete, I assume you would be happy

hurt Pete I assume you would be happy

to cooperate.

to cooperate

>> Hegath refused an interview request,

>> Hegath refused an interview request

would not turn over his phone, and

would not turn over his phone and

handed over only a couple of

screenshots.

screenshots

>> Oh. Oh, you know, that sounds innocent

>> Oh Oh you know that sounds innocent

to me. I have Look, I have nothing to

to me I have Look I have nothing to

hide. See, THERE'S MY PHONE. SEE, it's

hide See THERE'S MY PHONE SEE it's

right there.

right there

Clearly, clearly clearly there are a lot

Clearly clearly clearly there are a lot

of outstanding questions at the Defense

Department that investigative reporters

could get to the bottom of.

could get to the bottom of

Unfortunately, last month they banned

Unfortunately last month they banned

any journalists who didn't agree to only

publish what the government allowed them

to publish. But don't worry, because the

to publish But don't worry because the

DoD just welcomed in a new crop of

approved journalists. Let's see who the

approved journalists Let's see who the

new fresh faces are.

new fresh faces are

>> We're welcoming new media outlets that

actually reach Americans, ask real

actually reach Americans ask real

questions, and don't pursue a biased

questions and don't pursue a biased

agenda. Yes, Matt

agenda Yes Matt

>> Kingsley. If uh Nicholas Maduro leaves

>> Kingsley If uh Nicholas Maduro leaves

Venezuela today, what role will the

Venezuela today what role will the

Department of War have in a post Maduro

Venezuela?

Venezuela

MATT GATES IS A REPORTER NOW.

MATT GATES IS A REPORTER NOW

This feels like when you're watching an

episode of Law and Order and you're

like, "Wait a second, that grieving

like Wait a second that grieving

father played a defense lawyer three

seasons ago."

seasons ago

Yes, the entire Pentagon press corps has

Yes the entire Pentagon press corps has

been replaced by MAGA personalities. You

been replaced by MAGA personalities You

got Matt Gates, Laura Loomer, James

got Matt Gates Laura Loomer James

O'Keefe, Jack Pobic. And if you know who

O'Keefe Jack Pobic And if you know who

all these people are, I am begging you,

all these people are I am begging you

please get offline.

please get offline

Touch grass or snow or or whatever,

Touch grass or snow or or whatever

a little bit of moss, whatever's

a little bit of moss whatever's

whatever is lying on the ground outside

right now. Dog really. Anything.

right now Dog really Anything

Anything would be better. Go touch it.

Anything would be better Go touch it

Although those are just the big names,

Although those are just the big names

let's meet some of the newer people

whose personality disorders we just

haven't discovered yet.

haven't discovered yet

>> Brandon Meyer, Tim Cass Media here at

>> Brandon Meyer Tim Cass Media here at

the Pentagon, uh, hanging out in the,

the Pentagon uh hanging out in the

uh, Department of Board briefing room.

uh Department of Board briefing room

And, uh, I am here with Lance. Lance,

And uh I am here with Lance Lance

who are you? You.

who are you You

>> So, I used to be a Tik Tocker back in

>> So I used to be a Tik Tocker back in

the day before I got banned at 150,000

the day before I got banned at 150000

followers.

followers

>> Okay,

>> Okay

I'm just going to put down didn't attend

journalism school. Cool.

journalism school Cool

I'm But I'm I will say I'm I am

confused. I'm confused. If you guys are

confused I'm confused If you guys are

at the Pentagon, then who's vaping in

at the Pentagon then who's vaping in

your mom's basement? Like, how does this

your mom's basement Like how does this

work?

work

>> But hey, you know what? Maybe this kid

>> But hey you know what Maybe this kid

is more impressive than he looks. I

is more impressive than he looks I

mean, he did get banned from TikTok, I

mean he did get banned from TikTok I

assume, for uh speaking truth to power.

assume for uh speaking truth to power

where I got banned at 150,000 followers

where I got banned at 150000 followers

um for basically saying I don't and

would never have sex with a transgender.

would never have sex with a transgender

>> Oh, was that a BIG PROBLEM FOR YOU,

>> Oh was that a BIG PROBLEM FOR YOU

BUDDY?

BUDDY

Lots of people, all different genders

Lots of people all different genders

just breaking down the door for a chance

to ride that Lance train. Is that what's

to ride that Lance train Is that what's

going on?

going on

>> Look, all I can say is that you, sir,

>> Look all I can say is that you sir

are no Wolf Blitzer.

are no Wolf Blitzer

That dude will anyone. But

That dude will anyone But

enough about the War Department. Enough.

enough about the War Department Enough

Let's move on to the US Institute of

Peace. You may remember it was once the

Peace You may remember it was once the

first one of the first agencies

President Trump tried to shut down when

he took office in January. But now it

he took office in January But now it

looks like he's had a change of heart.

looks like he's had a change of heart

And wall.

And wall

>> The US Institute of Peace now has a new

name, the Donald J. Trump Institute of

name the Donald J Trump Institute of

Peace.

Peace

>> Wonderful. Wonderful. The Donald J.

>> Wonderful Wonderful The Donald J

Trump Institute of Peace. I look forward

Trump Institute of Peace I look forward

to seeing it alongside the Benjamin

Netanyahu Bureau of Urban Planning and

the RFK Jr. School for Singing.

the RFK Jr School for Singing

But

the renaming,

the renaming

keep an eye out for it. Keep an eye out.

keep an eye out for it Keep an eye out

The renaming happened on the occasion of

Donald Trump attending a peace ceremony

between Rwanda and Congo where we got to

experience one of the most beautiful

moments known to man. Donald Trump

moments known to man Donald Trump

trying to pronounce an African leader

name. I want to thank the two courageous

name I want to thank the two courageous

leaders. They are courageous leaders.

leaders They are courageous leaders

They really are courageous leaders.

They really are courageous leaders

Great people.

Great people

President

Jakis

You really just went for it, right?

You really just went for it right

Yeah. Like a driver plowing over the

Yeah Like a driver plowing over the

school's own speed bumps at 90 mph.

school's own speed bumps at 90 mph

Boom. I love how he pauses and lets

Boom I love how he pauses and lets

people say, "Oh, no."

people say Oh no

Right before pronouncing the name. This

Right before pronouncing the name This

guy is a dummy. Everyone knows that

guy is a dummy Everyone knows that

leader's name is

Sh.

you guys. I'm not president. Okay,

you guys I'm not president Okay

give me a break.

give me a break

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